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+--- Thread: Blackfeather Woods He hurt him away (/showthread.php?tid=17783)
He hurt him away - Xan - September 15, 2016
Earlier in the afternoon, he'd departed from the grove with a purpose in mind. Several days had passed since he'd ventured beyond Blackfeather's borders, his travels having taken him back into the very same region that had supported his birth. Nothing was known of the land, and yet, he'd decided to stay there—to live there within a land that was green, surrounded by individuals that had never harmed him. He'd voiced his desire to stay, as well as had shared the intentions behind his trip, but doing so hadn't made leaving any easier. Still, the boy had eventually left, though the majority of his trip had been spent dragging his feet and trailing along paths that he knew nothing about. Some part of him longed to get lost, to extend his time away for an even greater length of time, but he'd known better than to go through with doing so. In the end, that only would have hurt him, and so he'd forced himself towards the only home that he could remember clearly.
It was within the night that Alexander had at last arrived, and at the borders that he'd crossed paths with his father. Their exchange had been neither long nor short, kept simple and direct the entire way through. The boy's plans to leave had been shared, but the true reason had not—he couldn't speak of it, not yet, not ever, and especially not to Kove. What had driven him to make his decision had remained as a mystery, an unspeakable motivator that he wished to forget. Once the conversation had been concluded and he'd found his father to not be upset with his actions, he'd given an awkward sort of wolf-hug and then turned to head into the woods. It wasn't until he'd gone a decent ways in that he'd stopped and tilted his muzzle back, calling for @Damien and @Nemesis specifically, but then leaving his song as an open invitation for any others that might be curious. There was a sense of urgency and importance in his voice, as well as uncertainty and, unknown to him, even a tinge of fear.
RE: He hurt him away - Potema - September 15, 2016
She had not heard much from Xan since the introduction of the red-eyed woman, but his faded scent around Wolfsku worried and infuriated the witch. He was demoted, confined to the Cave, not free to roam the neutral territories.
She approached the howl, detecting the emotion in it. What had happened? The pale male looked physically fine as he came into her view; she chuffed in greeting, laying down quietly nearby. This seemed to be a matter for her brothers.
RE: He hurt him away - Cicero - September 15, 2016
Only the tatter of his ear lingered, a sore reminder of that night. It had not escaped Cicero's attention that Xan had not been home since that day. He wondered if he had crossed too many boundaries, but then he reminded himself of what Xan had done to him; if he had chased him off, perhaps it was for the best.
The howl had not escaped him and that was why Cicero watched from the shadows, expression cold, as Potema arrived. She was quick to take distance from the meeting. Cicero watched from the shadows of the woods at the frays of the meeting, within earshot, mismatched eyes eerily pinned on Xan as he waited for others to arrive and to hear what this being was about.
RE: He hurt him away - Damien - September 17, 2016
Damien had been expecting Xan to call, but in his imagination it was to ask to be forgiven and re introduced to the pack's life after a period of rehabilitation. So Damien carried himself with pride and high self regard upon coming to meet the boy. "I take it you want your place back," he assumed, too sure of himself.
But he ignored too many things.
Damien didn't know that, instead of teaching the boy a lesson, he had abandoned him. And during that time alone, Xan had gone through hard times. Those were all things that neither Damien nor anyone else could fix.
RE: He hurt him away - Xan - September 17, 2016
The first to arrive at the scene had been Potema, a chuff having been offered before she'd settled down nearby. His gaze had trailed after her up until that point, wondering if she'd anything to say, but having quickly found that she didn't. With his attention elsewhere, he'd not noticed Cicero's arrival, nor had he spotted him through the shadows when he'd finally looked away. His mind lingered elsewhere, a multitude of worries having begun to creep up into his skull. What would happen to him? It was the most important out of all the questions that crowded his mind, as well as the one that he had the least amount of insight on. Xan knew what happened to traitors, to those that simply abandoned the woods without so much as a twitch of their nose, but he knew not if the same fate might befall him. The boy was not deserting them, he was giving word of his plans, yet there existed, still, a sinking feeling within the pit of his stomach.
When Damien had arrived, the boy's ears folded back and he'd lowered his head. The assumption made would have possibly agitated him at any point prior to his attack, but, presently, there'd been no sort of challenge spoken against the older male's words. Rather, he'd lowered himself without having been prompted or forced to do so—it was, most likely, the first time he'd ever done it, too. His gaze remained averted, focused on the ground upon which he stood, never to raise or steal a glance towards the darker individual. "I do want that," he'd voiced, but his tone was notably hesitant. "But... there's something else that I want more." His honour restored, and so much more, but many of those things were something that he'd never be able to get back. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no way to reach out and take back all that had been torn away from him. There was no way to achieve the majority of his desires, but there was at least one that he wanted to think he might stand a chance at acquiring.
"I want to leave the woods," Xan had eventually said, daring not look up. He didn't want to see the other's expression, his reaction, or his attack coming, should one be deemed necessary. "Not just on a trip, but... I can't live here." Not anymore. It wasn't safe, despite the fact that it housed his family. They wouldn't understand what had happened, nor would they be able to fix it; they couldn't heal his mind, they couldn't fix him.
RE: He hurt him away - Potema - September 18, 2016
Potema sat and waited as her brothers arrived. She sensed both of them, though she barely detected Cicero, hidden away as he was. Damien initiated the conversation, thinking that this was a proposition for his reinstatement in their ranks. It wasn't, quite the opposite.
Potema's eyes widened at his words. This was someone their mother had brought in long ago when he was a child, and now he was just leaving? To her, that was all it was. She knew that he had been demoted, but was aware of little else that had transpired.
Do you have a good reason as to why?
RE: He hurt him away - Cicero - September 19, 2016
He listened from the shadows, ears pointing forward a moment as he said that he would leave. Cicero was unsure what to think of it, except that he was disappointed in Xan. He intended to teach a lesson, to make sure that it would never happen again. It seemed he was successful in the latter, but as for Xan, instead of learning he seemed only to run away now. He remained in his place, fairly sure Xan had not yet noticed him, waiting for his answer to Potema's question.
RE: He hurt him away - Damien - September 24, 2016
His proud expression shifted to a grim confounded face when Xan revealed why he'd called for them. Although he assured that he wanted his place back, the young wolf claimed too that he could not live in the woods anymore. The reason why was not revealed, but Potema was quick to ask about it.
Damien looked between his sister and the yearling, and settled on the latter as he demanded an answer. Had he been too hard with the child? Had he failed to encourage him to truly become one of them? There was not guilt in Damien's thoughts, but ire and disappointment, both on himself and the child. If Blackfeather Woods kept losing members at this rate they would keep facing extinction and it had been going for way too long.
RE: He hurt him away - Xan - September 28, 2016
What to expect, he knew not. The siblings had proved long ago to be unpredictable beings, and so he’d settled for simply waiting—waiting and bracing him, though remaining uncertain of what to do should his words be taken offensively. His head was kept tilted away, eyes on the ground and ears back. Every muscle within his body seemed to tense at once the second Potema had spoken, and he’d remained that way even after her words had been processed. Unable to relax, he’d shifted his weight around, nervously thinking over how he might respond. A glance was tossed her way in the meantime, but his head had yet to lift back up, leaving him to look towards her chest. The look was quick, cautious, her pale figure having held his attention for only a short period of time prior to it being given back to Damien’s.
“I—,” he cut himself off, nearly having bitten into his tongue in the process of doing so. What reason could he give? To admit what had happened to him, what had driven him away, was out of the question. He could not speak of it to anyone, and especially not to them. As Cicero’s siblings, he was sure that they wouldn’t believe him, even if he had been courageous enough to go over every little detail of what had transpired. “I can’t give my reason,” was his final answer. “I can’t… I can’t say it.” It frustrated him, in a way, knowing that he was unable to do anything. Xan could not speak of the event, his fear of reliving it, and of being viewed as the disgrace that he’d been made into, prevented him from doing so.
Though Cicero had yet to be noticed, the feeling of eyes on him had not been missed. It’d caused for the fur along his back to raise, something that felt like a rock having dropped into the pit of his stomach. Swallowing, he’d continued with, “You wouldn’t believe me even if I did say why. You—” The boy shook his head, forcing the thoughts—the images—to leave his head. “I don't want to leave my family, but I can’t stay here.” It’ll happen again, he’d wanted to add, but forced his mouth shut before the words could escape. Alexander leaving would provide him with the safety that he wanted, but he didn’t know how to explain that without giving too much information away.
RE: He hurt him away - Potema - October 02, 2016
Her words were the only ones to have any weight to the boy. Damien kept silent, letting her ask the questions. She frowned, confused by the answer.
Did anyone here personally affect you?She asked, wondering what had happened between Xan and another wolf here. Nothing should be kept secret between the Brotherhood. They should make their personal grievances open, lest things like this happen.
Xan, if it is because of one of us we can fix this.
RE: He hurt him away - Cicero - October 03, 2016
It was his time to slip from the shadows, then, and he did, mismatched eyes pinned on Xan's face as his sister spoke. He nodded, his face cold and calculated, neutral, as it nearly always was. "She is right, Xan." He licked his lips in thought, eyebrows scrunched somewhat as he asked: "What is wrong?" Feigning he would help solve these problems he looked upon the boy, waiting for his answer; expecting anything but the truth, of course.
RE: He hurt him away - Damien - October 17, 2016
Xan didn't give an explanation, but his anguish spoke levels revealing that there was something within the forest that he could not put up with. Potema was quick to pick up on it, and Damien didn't take long either. The memory of Grimnir and Potema's situation took over his mood, which became dark as though something had switched in his mind. He could not, would not allow a Grimnir case again, and Xan needed to know he was safe with them. But it looked like he'd already made a decision.
Everything had gone to waste, the bond they'd recovered after their conversation not so long ago, the renewed empathy and the recovered impetus to become one of them, everything would mean nothing if Xan left them like that.
"We can't protect you if you leave," added Damien thoughtfully to his siblings' imput, ignoring the fact that among them stood the very culprit of Xan's desperation. It was true, perhaps if he told them the truth it would be hard for Damien to believe.
RE: He hurt him away - Xan - October 19, 2016
Again had Potema been the first to speak, asking a question and then promising a solution that he knew no one could actually provide. It could not be fixed, and what had happened could not be taken back. He’d wished that it could be, that he’d eventually wake up and discover that the entire situation had been a terrible nightmare, but, deep down, he knew that that would never happen. It had not been a dream, but reality, and things that happen on the physical plane could never been taken back. Time could not be warped so that one might be able to go back and change an event, it could only ever allow for life to move forward. “You can’t fix it,” he’d told her, shaking his head. “I… I want to go back and change things, but I can’t. No one can.” If there existed any way to do so, he’d have gladly given up anything and everything in order to alter the past. To call out to himself and warn him, to keep himself from having suffered under the wrath of another male for a crime that he’d never known anything about.
From the shadows had the devil himself then emerged, feigning ignorance to what troubled the yearling so severely. Upon seeing him, Xan had taken several retreating steps, the motion an unconscious one. Against his ribs, he could feel his heart pounding at an abnormally fast rate, panic setting in. Though he’d wished to hide every detail of what had happened—including the who that had terrified him—he’d not been able to prevent his instincts from kicking in. The Inuk wanted to flee, for he knew he could not fight, but his legs wouldn’t move. “You kno—,” he began, but was quick to cut himself off. His mouth ran dry and words refused to form, but he could not move. Not another inch in any direction could be taken, he could only stand there and stare at his attacker. Some part of him wanted to lunge forward, to disregard the fact that they were not alone and attack without mercy, but he knew he couldn’t. Not only because he was sure that doing so would result in his death, but because his fear would not allow his for his body to move.
Damien’s voice had snapped him out of his trance, serving as a large enough distraction for his gaze to be torn off of the patchwork male. “You won’t—,” his voice cracked, and so he’d shut his mouth. He’d awaited his voice’s return, and for the dryness of his throat to be washed away, before having tried to speak again. “You won’t need to protect me out there,” Xan said, convincing himself that he’d not be followed. “He—No…” Shaking his head again, an attempt was made at figuring out what he could say. Too much said would result in the details coming to light, and too little would make it seem as if he was only acting out again in some way. Eventually, he’d decided on saying, “I won’t be in danger out there.” At least, he hoped so. He was desperate, really, willing to cling to any sort of hope that might present itself to him. The idea of actually leaving, however, unsettled him. Not nearly as much as staying, but the discomfort was still there. And so he’d looked to Damien pleadingly, his past goals remembered, along with the laws of the pack.
“I still want to make her proud…” he’d said, his tone hushed for the words were meant for the eldest sibling alone. Still had Alexander’s gaze drifted towards the other two, though, lingering on Cicero longer to make sure that he didn’t approach. He could hardly stand being as close as he currently was to the male, and so any less distance between them would surely result in an outburst of some sort. “I want to be able to see my parents, my siblings,” Xan continued. “I don’t want to lose my family again.” But, he couldn’t stay there. He could visit—he wanted to have that option—but he could not sleep within the woods any longer. The shadows had betrayed him, and so the home could be his no longer.
RE: He hurt him away - Potema - November 10, 2016
Something, someone, was bothering — no, frightening — Xan, to the point where he wanted to leave, to flee from the fear and apprehensiveness he felt. She didn't know what to say, looking at both of her brothers. She didn't know who it would be, or what might have happened. This was sudden, and it was frightening. Winter was coming soon, they needed all the wolves they could.
Her. He was talking about Mother. She realized internally. So he didn't want to leave, but it was required. Needed. She sighed, unsure how to sway him back into their fold. He was distressed, terrified by someone lurking in the Woods; she looked to Damien for his judgement.
RE: He hurt him away - Cicero - November 15, 2016
There was no telling what sort of feelings Alexander's reaction brought up in Cicero, for they were so very mingled. It was good to know one need only pull the strings to see someone else jump away like a frightened cat at your very command. The puppet master in him was satisfied, yet it was that part of him that also frightened him. Cicero did not show any feelings, just staring. He picked up only one notable word from all that the boy spoke — her — and thought to Scarlett, thinking it was she that he meant. He had liked Scarlett, despite or perhaps because of the softness of who she was at her core.
Yet there was little time for sentiment. Cicero said, realising Alexander's mind was set; "It is a shame," the disappointment audible in his voice. Then he turned away from the scene, knowing there was little more to add. He vanished back into the shadows and slunk away through the forest, feeling strangely empty in the wake of Xan's departure.
RE: He hurt him away - Damien - November 18, 2016
The boy was clearly anxious and nothing that he or his siblings said seemed to make any effect on him. It was clear that Xan had his mind set, but the reason why he'd come to make such an extreme call were still a mystery. Damien was able to understand enough to know that the problem was within the forest, a specific someone that had made Xan suffer in some way, but Damien just could not believe that anyone would have any reason to hurt Kove's son, not even himself who had come across as a rival to the kid would harm him. Or perhaps someone from the outside had put a threat on him, forcing him to leave? Either way Damien could not help him find a solution if he didn't trust them with the truth, and at this rate it would take them forever to get any more details, for the conversation had moved on.
Cicero spoke, driving Damien's attention away from Xan for a moment as his brother walked away. His thoughts, however, remained with the dilemma, making it his own for a moment before making a desicion. "You still can," he said firmly, knowing very well what Xan meant. he could still make Meldresi proud, he could still see his family. Those things would never go away and the fact that Xan would no longer live with them did not mean he couldn't still be a part of the family. Kove had gone away too under Meldresi's blessing once, and his faith and loyalty had never faltered, so why couldn't his son?
"It will be harder, but if you make an effort to keep in contact with us you can still become..." he promised, voice warmer than it had ever been towards the young Inuit. "I just need to know that your loyalty will not change," he said, suggesting the kid to make right there, right then, an oath of
RE: He hurt him away - Xan - December 04, 2016
Potema said nothing more, leaving a moment open where the boy could hear no voice other than his attacker’s. His gaze flickered towards Cicero just as he’d turned away, which Xan was thankful for. And once he’d left altogether, the yearling felt somewhat relieved, but not entirely so. He remained on edge and often looked around—specifically towards the shadows—wanting to make sure that the patchwork male did not make a return. Every ounce of trust that he’d once felt towards the other had vanished long before the boy had decided to leave, and never would it return no matter how long he stayed away for. What had happened could not be undone, and the pain was something that he’d always hold against him. Though loyal to the woods, the feeling did not extend to a particular member, and so he’d not hesitate to attack should he ever be found outside of the forest; Alexander did not know if he’d be able to do so, but liked to think that he’d be more than capable if the opportunity ever presented itself.
Focusing on the eldest of the Spiderlings, he felt something similar to hope in response to his statement. It would take a lot of work, he’d known that even before having been told, but it was still possible. That possibility was all he needed, too, in order to move forward. He looked towards Potema, briefly, before placing his gaze back on Damien and then lowering his head. “I’ll always be loyal to the woods, no matter how far away I go,” he’d decided. “I want to make her proud, and I’ll do whatever it takes to achieve that.” Never would he have thought he’d leave the woods after joining Blackfeather, but after everything that had happened, he just couldn’t stay there any longer. So, since he couldn’t stay where Meldresi’s memory was most prominent, he’d do whatever he might be told to do in order to maintain a connection, at least, with it.
RE: He hurt him away - Potema - December 04, 2016
He would be loyal, yet he would not be under their shadow. That was all this was. He simply could not remain in Blackfeather Woods, but he was by no means a traitor to their cause. She did not know how he would serve the pack or the Brotherhood outside their borders, but Xan would find a way, wouldn't he?
That is all we can ask,She murmured softly, looking at Damien, knowing that he was not angry at his departure, but still wary of his emotions, then to where Cicero had once stood, blinking at the philosopher's disappearance.