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+--- Thread: Hushed Willows What I would do to take away this fear of being loved (/showthread.php?tid=18156)
What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Prialux - October 04, 2016
Prialux's tremulous steps into the entry of the den grew braver by the day. She no longer trembled quite so much when she poked her head out into the shade of the woods, and the shifting autumn leaves no longer consumed every ounce of attention she had to give. She could focus now on additional details, like the sky that shifted in and out of focus beyond the leaves, or the litter that carpeted the ground. Once, she saw a mouse skitter past, and she retreated into the dark of the den so quickly that she smashed her shoulder into the wall.
It still smarted as she poked her head back out nearly an hour and a half later. Her curiosity got the better of her, and even though she winced away as though a mouse would come flying through the hole at her face, there was nothing but the extremely muffled sound, like static, of the world. And then there was white light. A distinct pop within Prialux's head preceded a ringing in her ears, not unlike a stun grenade going off in the movies, and she squeezed her eyes shut as she was assaulted with new senses. The sound of leaves rustling above was like garbage cans banging together to her delicate, newly opened ears. The gurgle of water in the distance was as loud as a waterfall. The call of a crow seemed loud enough to be right in her ear.
She squealed and screwed her face up and pressed herself to the floor, half in and half out of the den, with her tail wriggling pitifully and anxiously as she fought to adjust to this abrupt and disorienting change.
@Kavos
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Kavos - October 04, 2016
Kavos did not carry the hesitance that had been holding back Piralux from exploring further. His time was spent experiencing new sights and smells and there was little that often threw him off guard. He did not fear, nor did he feel much-- which was something odd for a child his age. Instead the ghost of a cub merely survived and did what he could do to thrive.
It was as he napped that sounds began relevant to him. It began with a delicate pop and the sensation within his perked ears caused him to wake. Instead of a sense of wonder, irritation was quick to fill his being and he drew a forepaw to his forehead and attempted to bat at his ear.
Too much was coming to him at once-- the bubbling of the creek, the caw of a crow; he couldn’t stand it. The final straw to this melodic hysteria was the squealing that came from Piralux. His anger bubbled over and erupted in the form of a gargled growl. The outcome of his anger frightened him a bit and in response he looked to Piralux with wide eyes and sat with a tilted head, as if asking her “What is going on?!”
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Prialux - October 04, 2016
Try as she might, Prialux couldn't drown out the noise. The shrill whining coming from her own lips was driving her crazy, but she couldn't connect the source with the sound. Already the stunning volume was beginning to lessen, but Prialux was too hysterical to take note. It wasn't until the sound of her own cries became the loudest one that she began to quiet, and it was at about that moment that a hostile sound from nearby, and when she whipped her head around and spotted Kavos, instinct took over where panic ruled.
She squashed herself to the floor with a soft whine, as much as she could anyway, and let her tail whip appeasingly back and forth. The sound of it skittering over the dirt sent chills up her spine but she did her best to not cry out at it. Submission came easily, an ingrained behaviour for one like her, a girl born among brothers. Her ears pressed down against her head, muffling the noises somewhat, and her wide eyes searched Kavos' chest for some sign of comfort. He was surlier than she and Eros, and she fully expected to be sat on or otherwise pushed around, as if she instinctively understood that that was the mark of a more dominant creature.
She could not comprehend yet that he was experiencing the same trouble as she was. Her perception was yet too limited to just herself for her to relate. But Prialux knew he was upset with her, and she sought to appease him by following her instincts, which bid that she make herself as tiny as possible.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Kavos - October 04, 2016
He watched on as his own cries were overcome by the gentle whimpers from Piralux. Instinctively, he pressed his ears forward as he stood and watched on as she shrunk herself. He lingered in place as her cries rang in his ears.
His approach to her was a sudden movement that was lead by dominance. He didn’t stop until he was before her with his head looming overhead. He looked down, his eyes ablaze, and prodded her with his foot as if to say, “Stop whining!”
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Prialux - October 04, 2016
The thunder of Kavos' paws on the earth drew soft whimpers from her lips, but she quieted her tongue when he came to stand over her. There was something instinctual about that action and she let her body slump to the side, exposing her pale cream chest and belly sidelong to him. To any onlooker, Prialux was the picture of a perfect subordinate, a wolf who gave up dominance to any other canid. She would grow to be uncomfortable in any role of authority, and would accept her place beneath others, at least to a point.
And yet.
When Kavos reached out a paw to prod her, instead of understanding what he wanted, Prialux showed the first of her traits to come: feisty. She was not a pushover. She twisted, striking for his aloft paw with a half-playful and half-serious nip, a cheeky defiance overcoming her young self. The rustle of her body on the floor didn't register. Her ears had already adjusted to sound, and the deafening loudness of the world was quickly fading into the background as her instinct to establish a hierarchy pushed to the forefront. Her quick yet clumsy strike was bound to miss, but would convey things she was not yet able to consciously comprehend about her unwillingness to be further dominated. Yet her tail slapped the floor coyly, an invitation to play and test their limits.
Kavos had succeeded in stopping her cries, though, with the distraction of his dominance. She was no longer so focused on the world around her and its sounds. That would come again, later, but not now.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Kavos - October 04, 2016
Though he practiced dominance on a regular basis, the child was not sure of the reason he did the things that he did. He was driven from something within and despite his rebellious tendencies he listened to this drive.
Something sparked within as his sister lunged for him as she attempted to nip at his paw. Dropping quickly into a bow, Kavos issued the girl a challenge to come and get him. Something within urged him to play and so he obeyed.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Prialux - October 04, 2016
Prialux's ears twitched every which way as the sounds of Kavos drawing back and thumping the ground with his chest reached her. This action was unconscious, already second nature, but they flared open to draw in these noises. The fear had turned to curiosity. For a moment she hesitated, torn between exploring this new sense now that it was less scary and heeding her body's desire. She succumbed to the latter, however, and matched Kavos' bow with one of her own.
For a split second she was suspended, daring him to make a move, but it was she that moved first. Prialux, being very young and new, was quite impatient. The valuable lesson of waiting on things to come to her had not yet been instilled. As such, she lunged clumsily for Kavos, slow in her charge and imprecise in her grasp for his chin. Her tail whipped uncontrollably above her hindquarters, unbalancing her and causing her to stagger as she approached, but she didn't care about any of that. There was a joy shining in her bright blue eyes that was often absent in the loveless confines of their den home, and that feeling was what mattered.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Kavos - October 04, 2016
He was on edge as he waited on his sister’s next move. Since birth Kavos had kept their relationship distant and, for the most part, had distanced himself from his entire family. Perhaps it had been the stress that Amara had felt when they were in her womb or the anger that had rocked her to the core. Regardless, something had happened in during his development that had made him the way he was.
But now he was an entirely different wolf.
His tail whipped happily as Piralux made the first move. He wasn’t sure what quite to do in that moment and instead of getting out of the way he watched on as she stumbled forward. The sport of fighting would be taught to him when he was older, but for now he would pretend to know how to fight.
His eyes widened as she clamped onto his chin and instinctively he shook himself in an attempt to shake her off. Despite his discomfort there was a jovial glint in his milky eyes as he looked down to her.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Prialux - October 06, 2016
In what was surely slow motion to the eyes of an experienced canid, Prialux traversed the distance between Kavos and herself and latched onto his chin. Her milk teeth had come in, sharp little pricks of bone extending from her gums, and the child's grip was likely less comfortable than she hoped. But Kavos' shake dislodged her easily, for although she had no finesse when it came to controlling the pressure of her bites, she also had no resilience when it came to the jaw lock.
Her head was flung aside by the force of her brother's actions, but her tail whipped freely, and the near-competitive spark in her eye had not faded. She went for him again, this time with her forelimbs thrown wide to catch him round the shoulders. The jump left Prialux completely vulnerable to any counter attack Kavos might wish to try, as inexperienced and untested as she was.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Kavos - October 07, 2016
Lemme know if this is fine! If not, more than hapy to edit!
There was, perhaps for the first time in his short existence, a liveliness in his eyes. Though he didn’t have the slightest clue as to just what he was doing he was having the time of his life. Piralux seemed to have a much better grasp on her instinct when it came to sparring-- whereas Kavos favored dominancy-- and she was quick to rebound after being shaken off.
He watched on without another thought as she lunged towards him with open arms. She was successful in her attempts to pounce and her impact caused the pale child to fall backwards. Finally, after her few hits, the gears of his mind started to churn and instinct kicked in. He knew that he needed to get his sister off-- just as he had before-- but a certain playful spark ignited this drive.
Growling, Kavos latched onto her right forelimb and began to gum, hoping that would do the trick.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Prialux - October 12, 2016
It worked! Prialux was equal parts pleased and perplexed about that, although she wasn't old enough to properly realize that it shouldn't have worked. The fact was that it had, and now she had Kavos about the neck. She nipped at the fur on his cheeks, unable to gauge where his actual skin was and missing several times. It was long enough for him to find his motion, and then his head darted down, and Prialux met her match.
As Kavos' jaws closed around her foreleg, she squeaked, first with indignance and then with panic and mirth rolled into one. What he was doing was not only intensely uncomfortable, but also ticklish. She disengaged, or tried to, but even as her one limb slid from his shoulders, the other one was held fast by his jaws, and Prialux began to tug comically on her own leg whilst squawking in her brother's face.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Kavos - October 13, 2016
His own action was met with writhing and squawking. There was something, a feeling that he perhaps would never be able to properly describe, twisted that ignited as he watched on. Instead of letting go, the boy continued to meet her squeals with growls and clamped harder in an attempt to hold on. Time would be the only teller of how successful he’d be in holding on, but he did the best to keep his grip.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Prialux - October 15, 2016
What started as a mere childish desire to be freed grew quickly into actual fear and misunderstanding. Kavos' jaws pressed tighter on her limb, and discomfort morphed into true pain. Prialux cried out and hauled on her limb in a renewed effort to remove it from his grasp, but this time her eyes shone with real fear and not just playfulness. You're hurting me, they seemed to say, and while it was unlikely that fear of Kavos would be long-lasting thanks to her youthful age, in this moment, she was terrified of him.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Kavos - October 17, 2016
There was something different about the shine in his sister’s eyes. He watched on as he held on, finding himself more and more confused as time progressed. Eventually, something snapped into mind within him and a look of regret washed over him. His eyes widened and ears flattened quickly as he let go and backpedaled to give her some room.
He did not check on how she was and instead merely stood there, feeling his first true sense of guilt as he looked to her.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Prialux - October 17, 2016
Something got through to Kavos, and suddenly, Prialux was let go. She snatched her leg back and dropped her front half to the floor, aided partially by Kavos' disengagement. Her forelimb was no worse for the wear, but it was the fear that came with his added roughness that shook Prialux to her core. She immediately arranged herself into a posture of submission with her ears plastered against her head and her eyes to the ground, and took the first opportunity to slink silently away. No doubt she would forget all about it in less than an hour, and Kavos would be forgiven in full, but while it remained fresh in her mind she sought only to get away and avoid further punishment.
RE: What I would do to take away this fear of being loved - Kavos - October 17, 2016
Kavos looked on helplessly as Piralux dropped to the ground and slunk away. Unsure of just what he should do, the Sigma simply looked on until she was out of sight. It was only then the the pup turned himself in the opposite direction and waddled away, attempting to get himself as far away from his injured sibling as possible.