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Sunbeam Lair i am cold in your heart and you're branded into mine - Printable Version

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i am cold in your heart and you're branded into mine - Ukko - December 07, 2016

Still, Ukko finds himself unhappy. His duties have shifted, to a degree, and his time with Asterr is limited and often involves the girls in some way. And they are growing so fast, just before his eyes, and he worries they are doing wrong by them. He knows he can’t force his time with Asterr after everything but, in time, thinks might smooth out and they can at least be friendly toward one another. Instead, they feel like strangers. And they aren’t connected on a level enough to run the pack as a single unit when they can barely spend a few minutes together without it being awkward.
 
The girls didn’t need a strict watch at all times now as they had the protection of them and the pack, secured within the cavern, but he often felt the need to be around them. Seeming them grow up before his very eyes hasn’t been the experience he expected, finding some kind of disconnect, as if he is watching from a television screen, but he can’t seem to find the source enough to tackle. The male from the day of their birth has lodged himself too far into his brain to ever believe that the children he loves with everything aren’t even his.
 
He finds something from a cache and shakes it lose, picking at it until the bones are nearly clean, and eventually settles near the water to try and clear his mind.


RE: i am cold in your heart and you're branded into mine - Asterr - December 14, 2016

Whilst things with Ukko had ended just as suddenly as they had begun, she’d yet to find it within herself to feel anything negative towards him. Their interactions were few in number and usually short, completed with an awkward air about them, but she couldn't believe that avoiding him might be a reasonable solution. When they crossed paths, she’d nod and, if busy, continue on her way. When he wanted time with the children, she’d busy herself elsewhere, as was the cycle she’d found herself dragged into. There was still a great deal of confusion to be felt on her end, but, as the days slipped passed her, she found herself being able to understand more. About what her past actions had resulted in, as well as how her way of handling the situation had been, well… terrible, to say the least. Her growing comprehension of the situation, however, had not changed anything between them—not that she’d expected it to.

No longer had it been rare for such thoughts to be far from her mind, especially since she’d started teaching the hatchlings. Her attention had often been on them, as well as the tribe as a whole. Her acquired role as a mother left her distracted, which she’d started to remedy by developing a new routine. It included patrolling, which she’d stopped doing for a long while after having fallen pregnant, and then even after the girls had been born. She’d kept away from the entrance, usually, except for when she’d chosen to venture through it. Another task was collecting whichever herbs she could still find, which was what she’d been working on when Ukko had been spotted. With bark and roots clasped between her jaws, she’d adjusted her path in order to be guided towards him.

Once close enough, she’d placed her findings upon the ground and greeted him with a soft, “Ukko.” Thereafter she’d chosen to fall silent, leaving him to be the one that decided whether or not they’d converse.



RE: i am cold in your heart and you're branded into mine - Ukko - December 21, 2016

There is little left to the kill by the time Asterr approaches. A heap of broken and frayed bones rest at his feet when he picks up his head upon hearing his name. Ukko stares at the woman for a long moment before he realizes she isn't going to say anything. She'd approached him for attention and gives him nothing to work with. The purpose for her coming to him without the children around isn't apparent but he looks to the bundle she'd been carrying prior to setting them down. They don't give him any clues, either, and he finds no words building in his throat to give her.

Mostly, they are civil. Or Ukko likes to think so. They speak little to one another and they've avoided the elephant in the room ever since but none of that makes it any easier. It likely explains the disconnect from duty he feels to the woman and her children but his promise to them still holds strong and prevents him from walking away like most things he's managed to accomplish.

"What?" he finally decides to ask. He slowly picks himself up despite the bite in his joints from the cold weather. While not terribly old, the changes in seasons have caused a slowness in him he doesn't want to admit.


RE: i am cold in your heart and you're branded into mine - Asterr - January 01, 2017

Whatever force had guided her towards him had vanished. She knew not the reason behind her approach, nor what words she might be able to create for him. Such a vast amount of knowledge had been forced into her mind, yet, as she stood there, she could form no thoughts. A piece of her had hoped that she’d be turned away, that his anger over a situation she thought so little about would force him to ignore her. Hope, however, was a useless thing to have. So rarely was it answered, which she’d been made to realize as he’d chosen to face her. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach, but for why, she could no longer tell. She needed him, but she didn’t—her mind insisted day after day that both statements were correct when, in actuality, they were not. She did not need him, she never had. Even when Jolon had resided within the lair, when she’d felt as if she could not sleep within her own home, she had not needed him. For despite everything, Asterr was still a—the—Dragoness and the dragons would always protect her no matter what. Though they lacked their physical forms, their souls were just as strong, leaving her without a single thing to fear in the world. But, despite how great her desire for change had been, the realization had neither been shared nor acted on.

Slowly, a breath once trapped in her lungs had been released and a shake of her head given. Although every voice within her mind screamed for her to dismiss herself and carry on with her previous task, she’d ignored their shouts in favour of an observation made. How slow his movements had been whilst rising, and how she possessed the means of taking the edge off. Had she allowed for her heart to turn to ice with the turn of the seasons, there was no doubt that she’d have left him there to deal with the issue on his own. But that was not Asterr, and never would it be. So, after glancing over his frame once, she’d said, “Follow me,” and then scooped her concoction of plant pieces back up. She’d not wait prior to continuing forward, correcting her direction of choice so that she’d be heading towards the chamber in which her herbs were stored. Whether or not he’d choose to follow, she’d not stop again.

When at last she had reached her destination of choice, she'd not been surprised to turn around and see that the man had not followed her; there'd been an obvious lack of footfalls at her back during her walk. Heaving a sigh, the vessel shook her head right before entering her medical chambers, where she'd stored away the herbs that had been collected. Thereafter, she'd left the space and headed off in search of her daughters, needing a positive interaction after having failed to build a bridge between herself and Ukko.