She felt the shift of the night as it rose around her. The children bedded down, sweet and gentle ad they grew tired. They had not managed to grow so willful as to fight her often, instead, they were happy to snuggle down and Rowan was happy to watch them. Eventually she dozed off but as she often did she woke before her children, leaving them among the furs she'd gathered before their birth to stretch her legs some before she exhausted them again chasing her son and daughter during their play. 

A wind swept around her, her plush coat bristling some as she realized it carried Casmir's scent. She followed the breeze as it lead her to Casmir, the dark males fur a stark contrast to the pale world around him. Quiet, respectful, but so appreciative to him - he had done so much for the little family they were growing into. She didn't speak, didn't really need to, just took a seat near him and rested against his frame. 

Rowan accepted the silence, finding the world still and quiet around them. A soft smile lit her features up as his breath only added the fog around them. Casmir was one of the few she had felt no pressure from, no matter what they were doing he had accepted her. If it was telling the children tales, Cortland nestled with a bone to chew and Mona curled into Casmir's plush coat - it all felt as natural as when they ran down prey or trekked the borders. She didn't feel judged as Constantine had made her feel, and she never stopped to consider motives or to fret over what Casmir's intentions were.

It was why when he sought her flesh she did not turn away, instead, as he began to groom and tend to her she relaxed into his touch with a breathy sigh. She tilted her head a bit to the side to give him more room, body shuffling just a bit closer as she sought the warmth he brought out in her. 

She didn't bother to be jealous, not of the scent of the Creek hopeful Grace as she clung to Casmir's coat. Casmir was not hers, though Rowan found herself filling all the aspects of her life with the male. Possessive while somehow being casual, she dared to turn her head to press a kiss to his temple, hesitating there just for a moment as she let her touch linger on him. 

Biology and kindness had guided her before, her attempts to soothe Lasher and grow closer to him had been sharply shifted by biology and it's mandates. Rowan never stood a chance. Now, she was standing firmly - and she knew it was thanks to Casmir in large part. He had hunted for her, helped to provide her shelter, he had come home and provided her children love as she had hoped they had known. Casmir was never a replacement for his father - and she would never allow him to think that either. As he nipped and teased at her flesh she gave a little smile, silver eyes fluttering for a moment. 

He pressed closer, and Rowan could respect that in that moment he needed the security and he needed the comfort. For Laika to be missing for so long, no doubt ran ragged by her grief, it meant that Casmir was swallowed by his own and Rowan and the children would not replace the family that he had lost but they could make it better. Even in minor ways, they could make it better. She brushed her muzzle against his skull, teeth tugging gently at his fur in some spots. "You should stay with us." She whispered it softly, not wanting to push him or pressure him. 

There was the rational part of her that knew if anyone else found them it would bring more questions, bring more judgement. She found however she didn't truly care - their happiness meant far more to her. 

Rowan didn't stop the slow progress as she touched and nuzzled into him, sweet and gentle as she could be. She wouldn't pressure him - that certainly wasn't her goal. "For now, just for now."  Rowan wouldn't fool herself into believing she was a substitute for Laika in the pack or in Casmir's heart. She could only support him as best as she could, to provide whatever comforts she could manage for the male. "I dislike the thought of you alone in the cold." Rowan offered, as if that would cover up the sharp rise of emotion in her, the thoughts that stewed over Casmir and the state of their family. 

She could ramble and say it was for the children, for his sake alone, for any number of things. She could also admit head on that she wanted to be there for him. "I will not cage you." Rowan promised. Not just to herself and her children, and if Laika came back Rowan could graciously let them be happy. This was never the goal, to stand in the way, instead the Mayfair did what she felt should be done. 

If Rowan wanted to see Laika return no sooner did she need to demand Casmir to her den. It was a common sort of magic, the baiting and temptation of irony, and after losing so much didn't they deserve that bit of happiness? "And if she did come home - you know I would want nothing more than your happiness, right?" Rowan asked, eyes flashing over the dark boys face for a moment. She had to know he knew she wasn't manipulating him. She sought nothing he did not give freely already; his companionship and affections could be just familial and Rowan would be happy just the same. 

"If I could make it easier for you I would." Rowan said softly, snout finding the soft flesh beneath his fur as she kissed over him. "And if I was a better woman perhaps I would be more wary knowing she will always have a part of your heart. Instead I respect that - and I can live with that - knowing we have been happy as we are just the same." Rowan could share him, she believed, if Laika came back to them. The pale woman offered no threat to the former beta, she was not seeking to replace the missing pieces of her family anymore than Casmir was. Factually they worked together. Blended, they became something beautiful. 

"When we are together I am happy, the children adore you as well. I could not ask for more, really, so long as you are happy too."  Rowan watched his face eagerly - hoping that he was as pleased as she was, even if he was more conflicted. 

Rowan sucked in a quick breath, her eyes fluttering as she looked Casmir over. They had both experienced great losses but she wouldn't abandon him. She would never. Rowan pressed herself into his plush coat and shook her head. "I will always be there for you, Casmir. You and the children are my world." Rowan promised. Even if their first month had been spent without him she knew what she wanted. She was willing to compromise to get it, too, no matter the cost to her own heart. 

"We are Mayfairs - we love as stronger as he can, as much as we can, no matter the cost to us. We cannot help it." Rowan could no more just stop than she could will her own heart into stopping, after all. It was impossible. 

Love - that was at the crux of it, this thing Rowan craved and feared all the same. She blinked back her shock, giving a small whine as she nestled into him further. "I love you too," Because she did, though in what sense she could not tell yet. There was no expectation between either of them - she did not expect him to stand in for his father, not with her, not with the children, and she did not think he expected anything in particular from her either. She breathed in his scent and let the world just settle even as her mind wandered and she fretted over things. 

She had grown fond of him months ago - his ease and his demeanor, his sense of humor and honor. The feelings had only deepened as time went on, he had helped to secure her a home and he had opened himself up to her many times. He let her in when others had barricaded themselves. She wanted nothing more than his happiness and success, and wasn't that love? The feeling she got when watching him with the children - that was love, wasn't it? 

It was certainly enough to give her pause, and as the entire world was still around him she found herself feeling more alive than ever. A soft breeze swept up around them, moving the snow lazily, and Rowan drank it in. She needed nothing else.