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+--- Thread: Duskfire Glacier bleak (/showthread.php?tid=20333)
bleak - Hawthorn Charley - January 29, 2017
Maybe @Kieran Adrien - counseling thread?
Though Hawthorn may have regained some form of peace within himself and had felt better for the first time in ages, there were still moments, long and prolonged moments where he was at odds with himself. There were still moments where he contemplated dying and leaving this world for good. They had lessened, but they were still there, and though he hated himself for it, he was still drawn to the edges.
So there Hawthorn stood, at the edge of a particularly steep edge. If he fell now, he would fall to his death and there would be no going back. Ever. He stared downwards, eyes narrowing against the wind as he sought to find the bottom, the place where his body would remain should he fall right now. The Pryor's legs moved forwards until there was barely any distance left, and there he stood, silently contemplating his next move.
Hawthorn wasn't afraid, but he was regretful. His life held so many regrets, and so few snippets of happiness. He just wanted someone to save him, but he had no one left, or so he believed. The shadow child sighed and bowed his head, eyes shutting.
So there Hawthorn stood, at the edge of a particularly steep edge. If he fell now, he would fall to his death and there would be no going back. Ever. He stared downwards, eyes narrowing against the wind as he sought to find the bottom, the place where his body would remain should he fall right now. The Pryor's legs moved forwards until there was barely any distance left, and there he stood, silently contemplating his next move.
Hawthorn wasn't afraid, but he was regretful. His life held so many regrets, and so few snippets of happiness. He just wanted someone to save him, but he had no one left, or so he believed. The shadow child sighed and bowed his head, eyes shutting.
RE: bleak - Kieran Adrien - January 29, 2017
*Launches Kieran over*
So, there had been many dramatic events in the new home so far - Sorrel's return, the new titles, even the arguement with Hawthorn, there had been a lot going on. The prince had barely had time to adjust before things began kicking off. The good thing, however, was that he and Hawthorn had been getting on better than they had before.
And when Kieran saw him, balancing on a steep edge, he remained frozen with shock for a few moments. What is he doing? He can't! "H-Haw! Stop!" Haw was quicker and easier to say than Hawthorn, so Kieran used the nickname without a second thought. "Get away from the edge! W-What are you doing?" The young boy refused to believe that the other might attempt to end his life, and he gave out a low growl. Rushing forward, he had to stand on his tiptoes to reach his scruff, and even then he failed. He just wasn't strong enough. So he pushed Hawthorn's shoulder and put his paw in front. "No," he growled, staring the older boy straight in the eye. He wouldn't let him do this. Though, it was difficult for Kieran to stay where he was, as there was barely any gap for his little paws to go, and it wouldn't be long before he would have to withdraw them.
RE: bleak - Hawthorn Charley - January 29, 2017
A harsh breath slipped from between gritted teeth. Hawthorn screwed his eyes shut, taking yet another small step forward. He could feel himself teetering just over the edge, and instinctively, the blunt claws on his paws dug into the soft snow, trying to find purchase, but achieving nothing. He knew this was selfish; this was probably the most selfish thing any wolf could do, but he had long known that he wasn't a good and moral creature, he knew he was selfish, and he knew this was the only way where the pain would leave forever.
But Hawthorn himself would also leave, and the chances were, he would never be coming back. Deep breaths, he told himself firmly. People say that suicidal people were cowards, but Haw began to appreciate that even suicide took courage. He bit his lip firmly, tasting the metallic copper of blood as he inched forward bit by bit, little by little. And then a familiar voice rang out, and Hawthorn almost slipped. "Shit," he swore, inching back just a little bit, fear gripping his heart. "Go away, Kieran," Hawthorn called, his voice low and bleak. "I don't want you to see this."
But of course, the younger boy didn't listen. He rushed forward, trying to reach for Haw's scruff and when he failed to do so, growling lowly, he pushed Hawthorn and placed his paw forward. Hawthorn met his gaze evenly and let out a soft breath, watching the misty vapour leave his maw. "No what?" he asked softly. "C'mon, you don't even like me. And with me gone, you have less competition," his words were blunt, but true and Haw knew that Kieran knew it too.
Roughly, he tried to shove Kieran back into safety, "Go away. I don't want you to die, I don't want you to get hurt."
But Hawthorn himself would also leave, and the chances were, he would never be coming back. Deep breaths, he told himself firmly. People say that suicidal people were cowards, but Haw began to appreciate that even suicide took courage. He bit his lip firmly, tasting the metallic copper of blood as he inched forward bit by bit, little by little. And then a familiar voice rang out, and Hawthorn almost slipped. "Shit," he swore, inching back just a little bit, fear gripping his heart. "Go away, Kieran," Hawthorn called, his voice low and bleak. "I don't want you to see this."
But of course, the younger boy didn't listen. He rushed forward, trying to reach for Haw's scruff and when he failed to do so, growling lowly, he pushed Hawthorn and placed his paw forward. Hawthorn met his gaze evenly and let out a soft breath, watching the misty vapour leave his maw. "No what?" he asked softly. "C'mon, you don't even like me. And with me gone, you have less competition," his words were blunt, but true and Haw knew that Kieran knew it too.
Roughly, he tried to shove Kieran back into safety, "Go away. I don't want you to die, I don't want you to get hurt."
RE: bleak - Kieran Adrien - January 29, 2017
Kieran ignored him as he urgently attempted to push Hawhthorn back, away from the edge. "Stop - I'm not leaving! Just because we didn't have the best start, doesn't mean I don't like you!" He had to think fast. "Rose," he hissed, "What about Rose? You can't leave her!" It was all he could think of. It was harsh, too. He knew that, but surely it would make the older boy think twice? Despite the two boys not having the greatest start to their introduction, the prince did not want to see Hawthorn... gone...
He shivered, the cold beginning to crawl its way into his fur. The winter - it had been so cold, and yet it was not over. Kieran took a sharp intake of air, feeling it sting the inside of his nose and mouth. "How do you think Rose would feel if you left her? How alone she would be?" He panted again, giving the hardest shove he could, trying to push Hawthorn away from the edge. Hopefully his words would knock some sense into him. "You don't have to do this, Haw,"
RE: bleak - Hawthorn Charley - January 29, 2017
"It doesn't mean you like me, either," Hawthorn pointed out, lifting a shoulder in a shrug, and feeling a biting feeling of guilt when his littermate was mentioned. "Leave her out of this," he hissed back, though his tone no longer held malice, but rather, an overwhelming sense of tiredness that a child of his age should not have. "I know what I'm doing, and what consequences it has, Kier," Hawthorn said, staring into the distance, then he heaved a huge sigh and took several steps back before collapsing on the snow covered floor, chest heaving, breaths short, with his heart hammering madly within his chest. He couldn't do it. In the end, he was just a coward, nothing more.
Hawthorn buried his face in his paws, refusing to meet Kieran's eyes. "Make it go away, Kieran," he hissed. "I don't-I don't want to feel this anymore." He didn't want to feel the pain and the hurt and the betrayal. In the end, it all boiled down to this - he could be happy and cheerful and feel optimistic for a time, but when night came and he was left alone to his thoughts, all that vanished and the cold came back.
"I just want someone to have my back, someone who's going to be there for me no matter what," Hawthorn sighed, lifting his head. "But I guess that's not going to happen, is it? Life's too cruel for that." The boy smiled grimly, then tilted his head back and let out a bitter laugh. "Oh...I'm such a coward, I'm such a coward."
RE: bleak - Kieran Adrien - January 29, 2017
Kieran frowned, but breathed a sigh of relief when Hawthorn stepped back, away from the edge. With a deep breath, Kieran lay beside the older boy. "I know you don't, Haw. And you don't have to." he murmered, paws shuffling in the thick snow. The prince felt a weight on him - he had to cheer Hawthorn up, make him see that he still had things and people to live for. That was part of being a counselor, wasn't it? That's what Kieran had decided he wanted to be. "I'll have your back, okay? I may not be your favourite person in the world, Haw, but I'm here for you. I don't care what objections you may have about it." The pup was determind - he could do this. He would do this. Much as he had previously disliked Hawthorn, he had come to understand why he was bitter, and Kieran felt a pang of sorrow for the older boy. He had already suffered so much, and here Kieran was, living the good life.
He exhaled again and turned his head to look Hawthorn in the eye. "You aren't a coward. You are probably the bravest, strongest person I know." Kieran believed those words to be true, and he refused to think otherwise. "Certainly braver than I am." he added, tilting his head. "You still have a life to live, Haw, even if it doesn't seem great now, it will get better. I know it will." Well, really, he didn't. But, as long as Hawthorn stayed somewhat positive his life could be great again, could it not?
RE: bleak - Hawthorn Charley - January 29, 2017
Distantly, Hawthorn heard Kieran lie down beside him. There was silence for a moment, and then he spoke, saying that he didn't need to have to feel the pain. His brows creased, and he turned to look at the younger boy, one eyebrow raised in disbelief. "I'm never going to be able to stop feeling it," he stated grimly, then he sighed, "only, maybe, with time. I'm too impatient to wait, though." His words didn't appear to make sense right now, but Haw hoped that Kier knew what he meant. He wanted it to go away, but he didn't want to suffer years of pain before it actually left his heart and set him free.
"Will you actually?" a gleam of hope entered Thorn's brilliant blue eyes and he regarded Kieran in a new light. Slowly, a genuine smile spread across his lips and he grinned at the prince. "Thank you. I'll have your back too," then, slowly becoming more and more like his old self, he spoke again, "hey, if you actually do have my back, you'll eventually become my favourite person in the world."
Hawthorn rolled onto his back and yawned widely, staring at the numerous stars dotting the winter sky. He frowned, and turned to look at Kieran. "What did you mean when you said 'i don't care what objections you may have about it'? Why would I have any objections?" He was genuinely curious to see how the younger boy's mind worked, and Haw was also genuinely confused as to why he would have any objections in first place. Yes, they might have gotten off on a bad start, but Hawthorn acted like that to every stranger he met, so it shouldn't be a surprise should it?
"You don't know though, do you?" Hawthorn smiled bittersweetly. "We can only ever hope..I just hope it'll be enough, huh?" he grinned, hoping to lighten the atmosphere. Well, he didn't expect it to have much effect given he had tried to suicide moments ago, but still, they were both just children, and children should have a lot more hope and happiness than adults did.
"Will you actually?" a gleam of hope entered Thorn's brilliant blue eyes and he regarded Kieran in a new light. Slowly, a genuine smile spread across his lips and he grinned at the prince. "Thank you. I'll have your back too," then, slowly becoming more and more like his old self, he spoke again, "hey, if you actually do have my back, you'll eventually become my favourite person in the world."
Hawthorn rolled onto his back and yawned widely, staring at the numerous stars dotting the winter sky. He frowned, and turned to look at Kieran. "What did you mean when you said 'i don't care what objections you may have about it'? Why would I have any objections?" He was genuinely curious to see how the younger boy's mind worked, and Haw was also genuinely confused as to why he would have any objections in first place. Yes, they might have gotten off on a bad start, but Hawthorn acted like that to every stranger he met, so it shouldn't be a surprise should it?
"You don't know though, do you?" Hawthorn smiled bittersweetly. "We can only ever hope..I just hope it'll be enough, huh?" he grinned, hoping to lighten the atmosphere. Well, he didn't expect it to have much effect given he had tried to suicide moments ago, but still, they were both just children, and children should have a lot more hope and happiness than adults did.
RE: bleak - Kieran Adrien - January 29, 2017
Kieran nodded, partly understanding. The things had Hawthorn had had to face - they would take time to heal, and waiting was hard. The prince turned his head with a softened gaze. "Yes, I will. And thanks," he replied, glad that the two seemed to finally be getting along. And, now, they both had one another to watch each others backs. That was always a good thing, and it filled Kieran with joy. He had a friend that wasn't his sister!
"It's just that... some people probably don't want to be helped, I guess." he replied, shrugging his shoulders. It sounded reasonable, and understandable. "Well, I mean, I can't predict the future, but it always turns out alright if you look on the bright side. That's what I was told." A positive view over things always helped. For example, at least Hawthorn didn't have to live with Alder or Aspen anymore, right? They must have been pretty awful parents to abandon Rose and Haw like that.
RE: bleak - Hawthorn Charley - January 30, 2017
Hawthorn mustered up another half smile for the younger boy and let out a soft laugh at his words. "Thanks for what?" he asked, half jokingly. "I haven't done anything yet, that you should be thankful for," and though he appeared to be completely serious, he winked at the heir to show that if anything, he was simply joking around, enjoying the little time he had for relaxation with Kieran, who was currently, other than his sister and family, his favourite person. He was, after all, his only friend that wasn't related to himself.
"Yeah, I understand," Hawthorn nodded thoughtfully. "I don't think I would've let myself be helped either," he started truthfully, "but there's something about you that I like. I'm not sure what it is." The shadow boy didn't like not knowing, it gnawed at him and made him extremely irritated. Nevertheless, he decided that perhaps, just this once, not knowing was a good thing. Eh, whatever, he didn't care much right now. He just wanted to get to know his new friend more.
Hawthorn laughed derisively at Kieran's words. "Oh...I envy your optimism," he drawled lazily, staring up at the numerous stars dotting the inky black night sky. "I wished I had it. Still, as long as my remaining family is still here, and you're here, I guess things can't be that bad. I mean, you have my back, yeah? And I have yours." He smiled to himself, though a bitter thought soon crossed his mind: what if the current leaders decided to kick Rose and himself out because they were competition to the throne? What if he was exiled and could never see his family again?
He shivered involuntarily and bit his lip.
"Yeah, I understand," Hawthorn nodded thoughtfully. "I don't think I would've let myself be helped either," he started truthfully, "but there's something about you that I like. I'm not sure what it is." The shadow boy didn't like not knowing, it gnawed at him and made him extremely irritated. Nevertheless, he decided that perhaps, just this once, not knowing was a good thing. Eh, whatever, he didn't care much right now. He just wanted to get to know his new friend more.
Hawthorn laughed derisively at Kieran's words. "Oh...I envy your optimism," he drawled lazily, staring up at the numerous stars dotting the inky black night sky. "I wished I had it. Still, as long as my remaining family is still here, and you're here, I guess things can't be that bad. I mean, you have my back, yeah? And I have yours." He smiled to himself, though a bitter thought soon crossed his mind: what if the current leaders decided to kick Rose and himself out because they were competition to the throne? What if he was exiled and could never see his family again?
He shivered involuntarily and bit his lip.
RE: bleak - Kieran Adrien - January 30, 2017
"Thanks for... well, saying you'll have my back," he replied, a smile growing on his maw. Kieran glaned up at the sky, watching as tiny little stars glittered. There wasn't many of them visible tonight, it seemed, and even the ones that were were difficult to see, unless you strained your eyes.
The prince nodded, glad that Hawthorn understood what he meant. It was hard to explain things, sometimes, and Kieran often wasn't great at it. Then he shrugged, and gave another glance to the sky, following Haw's gaze. "Yeah, I got your back, Haw." he replied with a calm, peaceful smile. The boy gave a small wag of his little tail but titled his head when he saw the older boy shiver. "Is everything okay?" he asked, his brow furrowing with slight worry. Was it just the cold, or was something bothering him?
RE: bleak - Hawthorn Charley - January 31, 2017
"No need," Hawthorn said with a soft laugh as a small smirk tugged at the edge of his lips. He decided that he quite enjoyed having a friend that wasn't his sister - it made things more interesting, and well, Kieran was a nice boy that he wanted to get to know. The smirk grew wider when Kieran spoke, and for the first time in a few months, the orphaned boy felt at ease. Or as at ease as he could be in these current conditions.
"Yeah...I'm fine, I guess," Hawthorn said, deciding that he didn't want to share his current worries with Kieran just yet. He just felt...a bit unsure about sharing so many of his problems and worries. "Wanna have a snowball fight?" he asked all of a sudden, wanting to change the depressing subject. A smile adorned his boyishly handsome features and he rose suddenly, dropping into a play bow.
"Yeah...I'm fine, I guess," Hawthorn said, deciding that he didn't want to share his current worries with Kieran just yet. He just felt...a bit unsure about sharing so many of his problems and worries. "Wanna have a snowball fight?" he asked all of a sudden, wanting to change the depressing subject. A smile adorned his boyishly handsome features and he rose suddenly, dropping into a play bow.
RE: bleak - Kieran Adrien - February 01, 2017
Kieran said nothing more about the topic, and just gave a smile to the older boy. It was no use bothering him about it, so the young prince didn't pressure him. Hawthorn had had a tough time anyway, he didn't need anything else to trouble him.
"A snowball fight?" He titled his head, then gave a wag of his tail. "Okay!" He barked in reply, then leapt to his paws. The snow crunched beneath him, and he began to push it with his little nose. It gathered into a little ball, and Kieran picked it up in his jaws before attempting to dump it on Hawthorn's head.
RE: bleak - Hawthorn Charley - February 06, 2017
Kieran was quick to agree to his suggestion, and immediately, a smirk adorned his boyish features. He was quick to form a snowball as well but had to give up on his half formed attempt when Kier attempted to dump it on his head. Instead, he dodged it quickly, a gleam of competetiveness entering his brilliant blue gaze. "Oh, it's so on," he called, forming a large snowball and attempting to lob it towards the other boy, before giving up entirely on the snow. Rather, Haw started to chase him, a grin on his lips, a twinkle in his eyes. If he managed to catch him, he would pounce on top of Kieran and pin him on the ground.
Though the Pryor child was exeptionally large for his age, he was also rather agile and quick, and so he hoped to complete his little 'quest'.
Though the Pryor child was exeptionally large for his age, he was also rather agile and quick, and so he hoped to complete his little 'quest'.
RE: bleak - Kieran Adrien - February 07, 2017
Kieran grinned as the snowball fight quickly ended and instead the prince bounded across the snow as Hawthorn chased him. Kieran was a small boy though, smaller than Hawthorn, and when the older boy pounced, the young heir toppled over, a small laugh escaping his jaws.
Hawthorn quite easily pinnned him down, and Kieran knew nothing of fighting, nor really playfighting, but he struck out his little legs in a feeble attempt to push him off. The boy let out a play-growl as he tried to wriggle out from under Haw.
RE: bleak - Hawthorn Charley - February 15, 2017
A proud smirk adorned the former prince's lips as Kieran toppled over, a laugh escaping his lips and Haw pinned him down with ease. Easily avoiding the younger boy's legs, he leaned down until his muzzle was only an inch or a few away from Kier's muzzle. There, his smirk grew wider and his blue eyes gleamed with playful amusement. "How'd you like this?" he asked with a careless wink and a lick of his lip. He remained for a second, before carefully clambering off the smaller boy, a boyish grin still on his countenance.
Kieran bore a strange sort of charm, Hawthorn decided. It wasn't the charm and charisma that he himself had, but it was something just as unique and special, and it was that that drew the page towards the prince.
Kieran bore a strange sort of charm, Hawthorn decided. It wasn't the charm and charisma that he himself had, but it was something just as unique and special, and it was that that drew the page towards the prince.
RE: bleak - Kieran Adrien - February 15, 2017
Kieran couldn't help but laugh at his own helplessness. It was, admittedly, amusing. The boy paused, taking in the moment. The two boys seemed to get on very well, considering their previous scrap. It was behind them already, it appeared.
"Darn, I'm no stronger than a mouse." He rolled his eyes, a grin on his maw. The wink only made him giggle slightly. He liked Hawthorn. Not for the reason you might first think - there was something about him that made Kieran feel like he was needed there. Perhaps it was how well they got along, despite not knowing each other for a particularly long time. The heir felt the need to heal. Not physically, but mentally. Looking at the older boy now, you never would have guessed the hardships he had faced. Besides, the prince knew that it had not been Hawthorn's fault. None of it had. Nor Rose's.
Kieran looked up at Haw, studying him for just an instant. He was definately bigger that the heir, stronger too. But he was interesting. He held many secrets, that much seemed clear.
RE: bleak - Hawthorn Charley - February 15, 2017
thanks for the thread. fade with one more post from you? should we have another soon? :)
Hawthorn smiled in response, a gleam entering his bright blue eyes. "For now, maybe," he said with a soft laugh, "You'll grow stronger, I'm sure. Maybe stronger than me," a curious look flitted over his countenance for the briefest of moments before vanishing into nothingness. "One day, I promise, you'll be the one pinning me down, rather than the other way around," Hawthorn chuckled, blissfully unaware of the other meaning that his words might've conveyed, if the two of them were older and more mature.
For now, however, it was time for them to enjoy the remains of their childhood, because little did both of them know that this sliver of peace was about to vanish once more, leaving the two of them stranded once more.
Hawthorn smirked. "Race you back to the cavern!" he called, then without waiting for the smaller boy, he began running, a grin on his face and lights in his eyes.
For now, however, it was time for them to enjoy the remains of their childhood, because little did both of them know that this sliver of peace was about to vanish once more, leaving the two of them stranded once more.
Hawthorn smirked. "Race you back to the cavern!" he called, then without waiting for the smaller boy, he began running, a grin on his face and lights in his eyes.
RE: bleak - Kieran Adrien - March 24, 2017
Okieee, and yes we need moar threads like this x3
Kieran grinned again, thumping his tail on the ground. "Naw, you'll always be the stronger one." He meant it in more ways than one. Of all the things a single wolf could face - a pup - Hawthorn's past had been tormenting. And Kieran envied his courage to continue, to live on, despite everything that had happened to him. He didn't know if he would be able to do that if it had happened to him.
At his friends' call, Kieran began to race after him, laughing as he went.