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you better just lock me up - RIP Blodreina - March 15, 2017
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She searches for @Kendra after she assures herself that Portia is alright taking care of Heda given her condition and the Commander’s broken ribs. Eske certainly hadn’t helped Heda’s recovery along and in the wake she does feel bad about it but the Drakru tells herself that Thuringwethil is Heda and she will heal. It does not cloud her excitement at making Cheka for long. Without restraint it bubbles back within her and she feels buoyant and giddy which a strange sort of lightness than her typical aggression. Eske believes she has cause to celebrate though. Her hard work, her determination have paid off and though it is not Wanlida it is honorable and she will serve as Cheka to the very best of her abilities while she trains herself for Wanlida. Eske’s steps falter for a moment as she wishes, with a sudden fierceness, that Gyda and Gabriel were still here …so she could share the news of her promotion with them. Eske does not miss them often, too focused on everything else but when it hits her: it is hard, as it is now.
She does not wallow in that long pushing past it as she continues on her path, the thought of seeing Kendra heightening her excitement. She is a little sore from her spar with Thuringwethil and Eske knows that she will be for a few days but it is a good sore. It is a rewarding sore. “Kendra!” She calls to the older girl as she finds her, moving to diminish the distance between them. “Ai laik Cheka!” In Eske’s excitement she slips into Trigedasleng — her native tongue — as she stops short of colliding with the older girl (though she would not have minded getting tangled up with Kendra). She forgets that Kendra does not speak much Trigedasleng, if any. “I am Cheka.” She repeats, grinning from ear to ear, her tail wagging furiously behind her in her unconfined excitement. As Kendra had shared her promotion with her it only feels natural Eske to share her own promotion with Kendra.
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She does not wallow in that long pushing past it as she continues on her path, the thought of seeing Kendra heightening her excitement. She is a little sore from her spar with Thuringwethil and Eske knows that she will be for a few days but it is a good sore. It is a rewarding sore. “Kendra!” She calls to the older girl as she finds her, moving to diminish the distance between them. “Ai laik Cheka!” In Eske’s excitement she slips into Trigedasleng — her native tongue — as she stops short of colliding with the older girl (though she would not have minded getting tangled up with Kendra). She forgets that Kendra does not speak much Trigedasleng, if any. “I am Cheka.” She repeats, grinning from ear to ear, her tail wagging furiously behind her in her unconfined excitement. As Kendra had shared her promotion with her it only feels natural Eske to share her own promotion with Kendra.
RE: you better just lock me up - Kendra - March 16, 2017
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Now the snows were coming to a melting point Kendra was quite happy to explore the new territory with plants coming from the soil. She needed this to focus on her trade. She was already a botanist, perhaps not a master at it yet but first she wanted to know more about poisons. Plus there was the whole thing she promised to make dye for Eske. She needed to find the right plants that would give off the right color. She was not sure what Eske would like as a color. Perhaps red.
The girl was curiously exploring with Eske on her mind when the female in question called out for her. Kendra snapped her head up at the sound and instantly wagged her tail. She turned to greet the female with licks of excitement. She still felt lower in rank than the female, even though they should be having the same rights. Alas, perhaps that was going to change now. Eske was so excited. Kendra instantly realized that this was what she liked about Eske. Even though she was a niece warrior she could still be excited and have fun. Everyone was moody at Blackfeather, or every other assassin she knew. Hence why Kendra liked Eske's enthusiasm so much.
The female spoke about that she was a Cheka. Kendra was not sure what that was. She tipped her head even though Eske's excitement meant that it was something good. "Yay!," she instantly went in celebration mode. "What does it mean? A new Rank?," she figured it was something like that what would excite the female.
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RE: you better just lock me up - RIP Blodreina - March 16, 2017
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Eske feels her cheeks flush with a warm heat as Kendra licks her. She trembles only sightly, wanting to touch her muzzle to the older girl’s, to let it linger but she holds back …for now. Kendra’s enthusiasm at her announcement caused a laugh — warm and genuine — to spill unbidden and raw from Eske’s lips. Though Kendra’s question does not surprise Eske, the Drakru offers a softer chuckle. She takes a moment to study Kendra with a softness in her gaze, admiring the fact that while she is not clear what a Cheka is that Kendra shows enthusiasm nevertheless. Eske realizes with a sudden tightness in her throat and a increase of her heart rate that she adores Kendra. She is not sure what to do it or how to communicate it, nor when it had necessarily happened. Eske supposes she doesn’t need an answer. She only needs to know that it is there and she doubts that her attraction and adoration for Kendra are going anywhere.
Eske tucks that away for a moment, however, focusing back upon Kendra’s question — albeit with some effort. “Cheka translates to sentry,” Eske explains starting with the word before she continues on with her new duties. “I am Heda’s personal guard now. I am never to be too far from her and when she ventures outside of Drageda I am to accompany her.” She explains, feeling pride swell in her chest. She is not a creature of vanity but she knows that she has earned it and intends to be proud of herself for it.
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Eske tucks that away for a moment, however, focusing back upon Kendra’s question — albeit with some effort. “Cheka translates to sentry,” Eske explains starting with the word before she continues on with her new duties. “I am Heda’s personal guard now. I am never to be too far from her and when she ventures outside of Drageda I am to accompany her.” She explains, feeling pride swell in her chest. She is not a creature of vanity but she knows that she has earned it and intends to be proud of herself for it.
RE: you better just lock me up - Kendra - March 21, 2017
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Kendra once again had no clue about the the effect she had on Eske. The dark colored girl was excited for her, especially after she explained that she was now a sentry. She knew that had something to do with being a guard. It sounded really impressive what the younger girl was allowed to do with her new rank. Kendra tail wagged excitedly. 'I'm happy for you!," she spoke to the female.
However Kendra did start thinking and wondered how much time that would consume. Would that mean Eske would be too busy to be her friend? Kendra disliked the thought of Eske doing more with someone else and less with her. Kendra sat down and then realized she didn't have a meal for the other like they had last time. "Oh. I don't have a meal," she spoke to the other female. She didn't think it would be a problem but she kind of wanted to give Eske something. Maybe she could do something else, like give her the warrior paint?
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RE: you better just lock me up - RIP Blodreina - March 21, 2017
no need to match the length - eske got away from me, aha.
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Being Cheka would consume a lot of Eske’s time but so would have leadership if she would have been promoted. Somehow Heda, Wildfire and Dio all found time to be with their spouses, to spend time with others and Eske figured she could work it too. It was all about finding the balance in battle: she had to find that balance here. “I’ve been thinking that Heda’s not going to want me up her butt twenty four seven,” Eske speaks because she has thought about that, too. She does not want to spend less time with Kendra, unaware that the other girl has been thinking of it too. “So I’ll still have time to spar and patrol and spend time with you. And if you want to go outside of Drageda for some dyes for your paint Heda might be willing to let me escort you as long as I give her plenty of notice and she doesn’t particularly need me for anything that day.” Problem solving, Eske style. Eske thinks that Heda is reasonable and will understand …after all she had Wildfire, doesn’t she? Of course …no one besides Eske knew that she had feelings for Kendra (at least Eske thinks she has hid it well). “Since I did promise and I don’t back out on promises.”
Eske is a woman of her word and when she says something she means it, she will do it. In that regard, she is much like her grandfather, Ragnar (there is a lot of Ragnar in her, tbh). “It’s ok!” Eske is quick to assure Kendra as she watches the older girl settle on her haunches. She leans forward with the intent of bumping her muzzle against Kendra’s, offering the older girl a pretty smile. “I only wanted to share the news with you. Your presence is more than enough.” Eske admits with a flush of heat to her cheeks. She is grateful that she has fur to hide it but she cannot quite conceal the glint in her eye, the coy tilt of her muzzle. She deliberates as she reclines back on her haunches, at war with herself. She wants Kendra to know what she feels, where she stands, what she wants but she is …afraid. This is an unfamiliar battlefield that Eske feels she is woefully unprepared for …and it is not as if she can just ask her mother for advice. She supposes she could ask Wildfire but she is busy getting ready to pop out her babies, and Eske considers that she could ask Heda but talking about her feelings with her Commander is a strange prospect to the warrior princess.
“Kendra, I…there’s something you should know,” Eske begins softly, giving a soft clear of her throat as she settles back upon her own haunches. She takes a deep breath, suddenly all nerves. “I don’t like secrets so I want to be honest and forward with you and I understand if — if this changes everything in a bad way,” but by the Dragon Eske hopes not. For a second she fears that it might destroy their friendship and the thought almost suffocates her. But she has already begun and could not stop now. She owes it to Kendra to be honest about how she is feeling. She is a Warrior Princess. She can do this. “Kendra, you are beautiful, and kind” Eske salmon pink tongue runs across her jowls as she takes a deep breath. “and I absolutely love the way your eye light up when you talk about your passions even if I don’t understand,” Eske says with a soft, almost shy laugh. “You’ve become my own personal sunshine,” was that cheesy? That sounded cheesy. But it was true. “You inspire me to be a better wolf,” Or at least, try to curb her natural aggression. It doesn’t always work, and Eske will always be aggressive — that is who she is. She is a warrior through and through and that will never change. In fact, fighting was ten times less scary than this. Eske realizes she probably looks like a fumbling school girl with wide doe eyes at her high school crush. She tries to emulate her mother but she does not think she will ever capture the queen’s grace or elegance. “and I think,” She takes an uneven breath as she words stick in her throat. “— I think I might be falling in love with you.” She all but whispers fighting her inner recluse that wants her to recoil back into her shell and abort the mission. She balances, precariously, on flight or fight instincts. Eske does not flee …not from battle, not from a challenge but this…she has exposed herself, she has revealed her heart. What was it her mother used to say?: a viking never shows her heart until the axe reveals it. But Eske is not viking and her mother’s cryptic words of advice so little to comfort her as she waits Kendra’s reaction.
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Eske is a woman of her word and when she says something she means it, she will do it. In that regard, she is much like her grandfather, Ragnar (there is a lot of Ragnar in her, tbh). “It’s ok!” Eske is quick to assure Kendra as she watches the older girl settle on her haunches. She leans forward with the intent of bumping her muzzle against Kendra’s, offering the older girl a pretty smile. “I only wanted to share the news with you. Your presence is more than enough.” Eske admits with a flush of heat to her cheeks. She is grateful that she has fur to hide it but she cannot quite conceal the glint in her eye, the coy tilt of her muzzle. She deliberates as she reclines back on her haunches, at war with herself. She wants Kendra to know what she feels, where she stands, what she wants but she is …afraid. This is an unfamiliar battlefield that Eske feels she is woefully unprepared for …and it is not as if she can just ask her mother for advice. She supposes she could ask Wildfire but she is busy getting ready to pop out her babies, and Eske considers that she could ask Heda but talking about her feelings with her Commander is a strange prospect to the warrior princess.
“Kendra, I…there’s something you should know,” Eske begins softly, giving a soft clear of her throat as she settles back upon her own haunches. She takes a deep breath, suddenly all nerves. “I don’t like secrets so I want to be honest and forward with you and I understand if — if this changes everything in a bad way,” but by the Dragon Eske hopes not. For a second she fears that it might destroy their friendship and the thought almost suffocates her. But she has already begun and could not stop now. She owes it to Kendra to be honest about how she is feeling. She is a Warrior Princess. She can do this. “Kendra, you are beautiful, and kind” Eske salmon pink tongue runs across her jowls as she takes a deep breath. “and I absolutely love the way your eye light up when you talk about your passions even if I don’t understand,” Eske says with a soft, almost shy laugh. “You’ve become my own personal sunshine,” was that cheesy? That sounded cheesy. But it was true. “You inspire me to be a better wolf,” Or at least, try to curb her natural aggression. It doesn’t always work, and Eske will always be aggressive — that is who she is. She is a warrior through and through and that will never change. In fact, fighting was ten times less scary than this. Eske realizes she probably looks like a fumbling school girl with wide doe eyes at her high school crush. She tries to emulate her mother but she does not think she will ever capture the queen’s grace or elegance. “and I think,” She takes an uneven breath as she words stick in her throat. “— I think I might be falling in love with you.” She all but whispers fighting her inner recluse that wants her to recoil back into her shell and abort the mission. She balances, precariously, on flight or fight instincts. Eske does not flee …not from battle, not from a challenge but this…she has exposed herself, she has revealed her heart. What was it her mother used to say?: a viking never shows her heart until the axe reveals it. But Eske is not viking and her mother’s cryptic words of advice so little to comfort her as she waits Kendra’s reaction.
RE: you better just lock me up - Kendra - March 24, 2017
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Kendra looked at Eske as she started to explain about the time it might take for her to protect the Heda. She wondered if the girl had seen her expression and that is why she felt the need to explain to her. Kendra at least hoped it was the truth she didn't want to feel lonely and miss her good friend. The dark colored girl got the message. No spontaneous dye gathering with Eske. She would need to plan it so Heda could know. Kendra was a bit saddened about that, but she tried to think of the fact that Eske still could go with her outside of the territory. Kendra smiled at her last words. She liked that Eske kept her promises.
To her luck Eske didn't mind not having a meal from her. Kendra was glad and the female nuzzled closer to her. The dark female felt heat rising to her cheeks. It never happened before so she was not sure what spurred that reaction. Her tail wagged though. The younger girl sat before her. Kendra watched her for a moment before Eske started to tell her something. Her tail stopped wagging and she started to become more serious, thinking that Eske wanted to tell her something serious. She wasn't sure what the female was going to tell her. Something about secrets. She grew a bit nervous. Was this about her and her past? Kendra's dark past?
Eske started to explain, slowly Kendra realized that it wasn't about her. The other girl was confessing something. Kendra slowly blinked as more information revealed. Her mouth slowly opened in surprise. Then those final words came, after such sweet words. She was reminded of Xan. He had confessed to her too. He had also been her friend. Then she realized the dislike between one another. How could she have been so stupid!! She should have known there was more than dat at play. Kendra was a bit baffled by the warriors confession. She hadn't even properly thought about Xan's confession. Then she remembered that Xan was going to fight for her, do everything he could to convince her.
Kendra looked troubled. She pushed herself to her feet and shuffled back a bit. Not an ideal reaction. Kendra wasn't in love. She didn't know what love was. She never had a crush, not really. She tried to reason that she really liked being around Eske but if she wanted to be her partner? Everyone left her so what would that mean for Eske herself. Would she leave? Often Kendra was convinced there was a curse on her. All her loved ones died or left her. What should she say? Her pale eyes roamed over the girl. She just wanted to yell 'You also!?!' but that wouldn't be a very good reaction. "Please don't," she spoke softly, the only reply to her last words. Kendra wasn't sure she wanted Eske to be in love with her.
She looked so guilty, like it was het fault. Kendra heard stories about her mother and how amazingly charming she was. Maybe she had the same effect as her mother on people. Kendra was just coming to terms of having friends after years of darkness and now there were two wolves confessing their love for her? It was quite confusing for the little witch. "I'm not ready to love," she then added. It didn't help that she was so reluctant to talk about her own feelings.
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RE: you better just lock me up - RIP Blodreina - March 26, 2017
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Please don’t, Kendra pleas of her and Eske’s ears smooth down against her skull. Her breath catches in her throat, as if it is strangling her, and her heart sinks heavy like a stone in water. Though the urge for the Cheka to avert her eyes is startling strong, to scoff and scowl into the distance like a petulant child is overbearing she swallows it all and fixes her face into a concealed mask. Her eyes close for a long moment though and she takes a deep breath. It does little to settle the upheaved emotions that swim in her mind, each more insistent than the last. It didn’t quite sound like a rejection but it definitely wasn’t acceptance, either. She tries to take the brunt of Kendra’s plea with grace, tries to take it as she thinks Gyda would have …but has her mother ever been rejected? Eske doubts it. Gyda is the epitome of beauty. She is fierce and ethereal and Eske does not believe that rejection is something the shield-maiden and queen has ever had to face.
She cannot help but think that she has made a mistake. It certainly, feels like a mistake as she nurses a new kind of wound. A wound of the heart. If a viking’s heart isn’t revealed until the axe reveals it than Kendra is certainly her own personal axe. “Okay.” Eske eventually manages, albeit thickly when Kendra admits that she isn’t ready to love. For a moment, the Drakru considers apologizing but refrains. She is not sorry for her love and she would never apologize for it. She thinks that, if Kendra ever decides she is ready, then she has choices. “We won’t speak of it anymore.” Eske says with a soft smile. She will not push and pull at Kendra. She’d much rather the girl come to her on her own terms than feel forced into it. Eske is known for being demanding but she does not deign to take away someone’s free will.
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She cannot help but think that she has made a mistake. It certainly, feels like a mistake as she nurses a new kind of wound. A wound of the heart. If a viking’s heart isn’t revealed until the axe reveals it than Kendra is certainly her own personal axe. “Okay.” Eske eventually manages, albeit thickly when Kendra admits that she isn’t ready to love. For a moment, the Drakru considers apologizing but refrains. She is not sorry for her love and she would never apologize for it. She thinks that, if Kendra ever decides she is ready, then she has choices. “We won’t speak of it anymore.” Eske says with a soft smile. She will not push and pull at Kendra. She’d much rather the girl come to her on her own terms than feel forced into it. Eske is known for being demanding but she does not deign to take away someone’s free will.
RE: you better just lock me up - Kendra - March 26, 2017
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Kendra glanced at the other when she spoke. She didn't want the other to stop talking about it. Perhaps she should be more clear, also open up to Eske. It wasn't like with Xan. He knew what she had been though. He knew her when she went through her dark periods. She didn't need to explain to him, but Eske. Poor and sweet Eske didn't know about about her or her past. Maybe Eske was falling in love with the wrong person.
Kendra cleared her throat. "Perhaps we should talk about it," she offered to Eske. "I... I am perhaps not who you think I am. I just. You are my first friend. One that I didn't grew up with like I did with Xan. I didn't know how to make friends when I came here and you made that so easy," she started. She wanted Eske to know more about her. It felt right to open up more to her. "But, everyone I grow close to dies or abandon me. And if they don't, like Xan, I abandon them. I am not a good wolf. I try... but I don't want to disappoint you. You have been so nice to me. I want you to like me. But I am not sure if I can offer what you want. Not yet. I need some more time."
She considered adding some more information about her dark side, about Xan's love for her he confessed. Kendra found it tough to choose between the two. Xan who she had known all her life, who has known her story. To him she didn't need to talk because he often could tell how he felt. Yet, she never saw him as a partner, or in a romantic lighting. Then there was Eske. She was interested in Eske. She wanted the female to like her, to spend time with her. But the female didn't know about her past, or didn't know much about her at all. Two opposites. Quite literally. She battered her pale eyes at Eske. "I don't want to hurt your feelings."
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RE: you better just lock me up - RIP Blodreina - April 01, 2017
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Kendra clears her throat and suggests that perhaps they should talk about it. Eske is quiet as she processes the older girl’s words, her ears smooth back to rest at half mast atop her skull. Eske does not want Kendra to feel as if she owes her any explanation because Kendra doesn’t owe it to her and Eske will respect her, her reasons and her wishes. They may smart when they are, admittedly, not what Eske hopes to hear but she only wants Kendra to be happy. It is a selfless way of thinking that the Drakru isn’t very used to, admittedly, but she is trying for what it is worth. “I rather think it was you that makes being friends easy,” Eske interjects lightly when there is a pause in Kendra’s words, not wanting to interrupt. Regardless, Eske does not think she has to explain to Kendra why she is no good at making friends. Eske is the epitome of aggression, she is ruled by it and she is unwelcoming of outsiders. All Kendra needed to do was see how she interacted with Xan — though admittedly there is forced politeness from the Drakru she would not otherwise give him for Kendra’s sake — to know how Eske deals with other wolves and how she comes off.
Eske falls silent once more, her attention rapt and wholly Kendra’s when the older girl begins to speak once more. Eske’s face is expressive as Kendra admits that every wolf that has gotten close to her has died or abandoned her and if they don’t then she abandons them. Eske’s breath catches in her throat as Kendra admits that she does not want to disappoint her. “Well I can promise you that I’m not going to die any time soon and I’m not going to leave you.” Eske’s not the wandering type anyway. It is evidenced in the way she stays close to Drageda. She has no will to wander and she will only travel from Drageda when Heda calls upon her for it. Like Gyda before her, Eske is a homebody but she supposes that is what makes her a damn good Gona. What use was a guardian if they didn’t well…guard? “I do like you, and you won’t disappoint me, alright?” Eske attempts to reassure her. “I just want you to be happy Kendra. I’ll respect your decisions.” Eske promises her.
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Eske falls silent once more, her attention rapt and wholly Kendra’s when the older girl begins to speak once more. Eske’s face is expressive as Kendra admits that every wolf that has gotten close to her has died or abandoned her and if they don’t then she abandons them. Eske’s breath catches in her throat as Kendra admits that she does not want to disappoint her. “Well I can promise you that I’m not going to die any time soon and I’m not going to leave you.” Eske’s not the wandering type anyway. It is evidenced in the way she stays close to Drageda. She has no will to wander and she will only travel from Drageda when Heda calls upon her for it. Like Gyda before her, Eske is a homebody but she supposes that is what makes her a damn good Gona. What use was a guardian if they didn’t well…guard? “I do like you, and you won’t disappoint me, alright?” Eske attempts to reassure her. “I just want you to be happy Kendra. I’ll respect your decisions.” Eske promises her.
RE: you better just lock me up - Kendra - April 01, 2017
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It seemed that Eske was far less pushy as Xan was about this matter. He was going to prove to her that he would be a good mate. Yet, Eske, in all her calmness just told Kendra that she wouldn't leave. Somehow it came over as less pushy and Kendra... liked that. She tentatively smiled at the female. The assurance that she hadn't disappointed the female helped her greatly. Kendra stepped forward, closer to the female and then gathered some courage. The dark colored female gave her a lick over her cheek. "Thank you for being patient with me," she spoke softly. Hopefully that would soothe some of the 'rejection'.
She wanted Eske to be happy too. She was going to make sure to get another smile onto the female. Perhaps that was what love was, trying to make the other smile and wanting them to be happy. Kendra felt a bit more confident at that thought. And perhaps they should get to know each other better too. "Will you still teach me how to hunt?," she asked curiously. After all she wasn't much better as before and Kendra wanted to help this pack. Not only with her knowledge of plants and toxins. Perhaps the topic of hunting would also do well now, so they could focus on the things that made them both happy. Which was for Kendra being around the female.
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RE: you better just lock me up - RIP Blodreina - April 20, 2017
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Patience is not a virtue Eske is overly familiar with but it only makes sense to not push Kendra. Eske rationalizes that she would not want to be pushed into something she is not ready for and therefore does not wish to extend that onto the older girl. After all, Kendra’s answer wasn’t an outright no. There was some room for hope — for whatever hoping was worth. Eske was a more practical woman. She did not just sit pretty and wait for amazing things to happen to her — she struck out to ensure they happened to her. She expected to get knocked down and bruised but life, she was coming to learn, was like a never ending spar. You were going to get beaten and sometimes you were going to get beaten bad but you get up, dust yourself off and keep trying. Heat burned Eske’s cheeks when Kendra licked her cheek and the Cheka struggles for breath for a split second as Kendra has stolen it away. “Of course I will.” Eske answers when Kendra poses the question. Eske couldn’t imagine why she wouldn’t still teach Kendra to hunt. Regardless of what does or does not happen in the future Eske thinks that they are still friends and the Drakru’s loyalties have always and will always run deep.
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RE: you better just lock me up - Kendra - April 21, 2017
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Kendra was glad that Eske was still willing to teach her how to hunt. The female wanted to work on herself and still have a good friendship. If she had to choose between both she might pick the friendship just because she didn't have an affinity with hunting anyhow. The dark female wagged her tail kindly. "Alright then I will see you for my next lesson, right?," she asked to be sure.
Kendra felt like she did need some space at the moment to think about her confession. It wasn't the only confession, after all, it was the second confession she had. She had not thought about love before those confessions. She was not good at loving things, if she did, they died. It was a curse and she had no clue how to get rid of that dark curse.
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