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+--- Thread: Morningside Cuesta isn't hope an animal? (/showthread.php?tid=21177)
isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 25, 2017
He was coping. Between Adeline's gravity-like pull and the animal that pushed him toward Akuti, Grayday felt as though he was teetering on the edge of a cliff, pinned by a hungry tiger on one side and an endless void on the other. On some days he felt sick with something between anxiety and anticipation - and no small amount of sexual frustration. He was sure, by now, it was a tangible scent upon his fur, but his children were probably too young to recognize such a scent, and he hoped that the others would simply ignore it, understanding that the life of a single father could be a lonely one.
Presently, Grayday was at one of the smal streams that fed into the river, wallowing in the gritty sand and doing his best to clean the thick, cloying scent from his pelt. He had plans for a hunt later in the night, and he didn't want anything distracting him - or alerting prey to their presence. Besides, he didn't know how well any of his new companions could hunt, and he wanted to be at the top of his game in case he had to make up for it.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 25, 2017
She’s been quiet since the day they left Easthollow. It doesn’t feel right today any more than it did then. Crossing the borders with Grayday and his two children had been surreal and she often can’t recall the actual memory. It’s just out of reach, as if she is watching herself through someone else’s eyes. She’s able to tuck the anxiety away on most days but when she finds herself alone, as she has lately, she hasn’t known what to do with it.
Easthollow isn’t too far from where they’d settled lately and since they’ve collected a handful of wolves along the way—some scouting mission—she feels even further out of place. She could go home, and she thinks about it often, but her legs never carry her too far away from the cuesta.
The scent of Grayday has her attention, following it until it leaders her to the water. His form is wet and covered in mud and she slows to a stop several yards away. Finding his trail hadn’t been a surprise but she hadn’t expected to follow it all the way and with no one else around. She’d expected to spend more time with him since they’d left but one thing after another stopped her from seeking it out. Adeline doesn’t make a sound, watching him bathe in the small stream, as she battles approaching her friend.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 25, 2017
An ungraceful snort escaped him as he got water up his nose, but Grayday simply sneezed and went on rolling around on his back, his legs wheeling awkwardly in the air. Eventually, he rolled back onto his belly and ducked his head under the water, allowing the current to rush over his back and clear the grit away from his fur.
The creek was cold - shockingly so - but he'd grown used to it at that point. It was no longer uncomfortable to fully submerge himself, and he stayed underwater as long as he dared. Long enough that his lungs burned from want for air, and his limbs grew shaky with something like fear. I can go longer, he thought, knowing that if he simply held on, he could transcend the need to breathe, the ache that was seeping into his bones. But a moment later, he knew that he was wrong, and the silver male reared back with a giddy shout, his chest rattling with the force of that first breath.
He stood there for a moment, unable to do anything but pull in gasping breaths. His thoughts whirred uneasily while he regained equilibrium, but as soon as fresh blood had reached all his limbs and left them buzzing with returned oxygen, the feeling faded away. A moment later, he'd returned to his bath, though he now kept his chin above water.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 25, 2017
He does not notice her and she can’t make her legs move any closer. His bath continues in the stream, splashing back and forth and disappearing beneath the water (except for the top of his back and top of his tail) for longer than she feels is safe. Her breath catches in her throat in worry and all her legs jerk, throwing her forward a step or two, but she freezes when he throws his head back from the water. From where she stands, she can see his chest heave as he catches his breath and she doesn’t take any steps closer.
It will be easy to turn tail and leave, returning the way she’d come, but she followed it all the way here for a reason. Or that is what she tells herself, at least. She realizes after a moment she doesn’t know why she’d followed it or what she’d say to him if he were to notice her and so, with the blank slate still in her mind, she backs up and decides to retreat and face him another time.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 28, 2017
He remained a minute or two longer, but soon enough, he found himself shivering uncontrollably. Though he didn't yet feel clean, the male pulled himself from the creek and shook grit and water from his pelt as he stumbled onto the shore. His legs felt numb and cumbersome, though whether it was from his stupid stunt or the cold was anyone's guess. Grayday himself did not dwell on this, but lumbered to the tall grasses and plopped himself down among the flowers to roll around a bit more. When the sun and his movements had warmed him enough, he stood once more and "looked" around, though he sensed more through his nose than his eyes.
With a dissatisfied snort, he turned in the direction that Adeline had come from and retreated toward, wondering what she was up to. He hadn't seen as much of her as he would have liked, though it was more his own fault than anyone else's. He'd been avoiding her, lately. It was too difficult to face her when he knew she'd never wanted to come in the first place. But they were frozen here, on these peaceful hills, and Grayday knew that he could not avoid the girl forever. It would be - perhaps - even more cruel than dragging her along in the first place.
Quietly, the silvered male padded after her, making more of an effort to move stealthily than to catch up. Thus, it was several long minutes before he finally caught sight of her after cresting one of the territory's treacherous hills. Grayday stopped and stared at her dull form, allowing himself (for the first time since the beginning of this damnable journey) to see the sorrow and listlessness that now hung about his girl.
"I've done you wrong," he sighed, voice too soft and too far for anyone but himself to hear. Though he'd meant to seek her out and speak to her, the male laid down on his belly and continued to watch.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 28, 2017
The further she gets away, she doesn’t hear anymore splashing or the sound of wet paws on the ground and she can only assume she’s gone far enough. She’d slipped out of view before he’d taken note and she can go off on her own again, as she had for the last little while. Most days she thinks of Easthollow and what she left behind and did they even miss her? She’s left twice now and while her intention is to return, she can’t help but feel completely separated from them about as much as she feels separated from Grayday.
Adeline feels the burn in her legs from climbing the hill, something she’s taken to getting used to. Her younger life has been spent on a mountain but she didn’t explore it enough before they moved somewhere flat and she’d lost the strength in them. When she pauses near the top, she stares up at the sky. The day is mostly clear and bright and everything her mind is not, keeping her from moving forward. She slowly closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, turning her head over her shoulder to renew her vision a beat later.
Grayday isn’t where she’d left him in the water and it takes a second to locate him a little closer, laying down and pointed in her direction. He’s seen her. Her jaw tightens and she remains in place, picking one paw up and slowly backpedaling and pivoting until she’s turned the opposite way. She does not hear the words from across the way, nor does she realize he’s said anything at all, but she can’t make her legs move forward to close the distance between them again. Instead, she offers a brief wag of her tail and the drop of her head, waiting, but for what she is not sure.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 28, 2017
He ducked his head when she turned toward him, his ears flying back against his head. The gesture was instinctive, submissive - meant to fly a white flag rather than conceal him further into the grasses. A moment passed, during which he contemplated the probable implcations of such a gesture coming so naturally in this situation. He would always fear her, he supposed. Not for her strength, but for his own weaknesses.
As long as she would have him, this would be his life: Push and pull. Joy and sadness. Fast and slow.
Fear.
Grayday belly-crawled a few steps before he found the strength to stand, and even then, he moved forward with a slowness that was almost painful to his aching limbs. The urge to rush toward her was equal with the urge to run away, and the male could do little but take on step at a time and keep his eyes on her familiar form, something between a plead and a command written all over his face.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 28, 2017
The reaction catches her off guard at first but she doesn’t budge from her spot. It’s a long moment before he moves again and she considers turning and leaving if he weren’t going to budge but her legs remain in place. Leaving Easthollow hadn’t been an easy decision to make when he stood with her in the circle and isolating herself from him since their departure hadn’t been what she thought was in store. Adeline can’t exactly pinpoint the reason without a little deeper digging but he is just as much to blame as she is.
It takes a long time but, finally, Grayday closes the distance. Perhaps he thought she was going to walk away from him (god, she wanted to) but her limbs never uprooted her and sent her on her way. No matter how much she yelled at them, they won’t move, and soon her breath is lodged permanently in her throat. Her jaws part as if she wants to say something but nothing comes out but a mangled whine and, eventually, her legs give in and finally move. Instead of turning and running, as she expects them to, she rushes into Grayday’s chest and buries her face in the nook of his neck.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 28, 2017
She felt against him like a bucket of cold water, shocking him to his core with the intensity of his surprise. He wheeled back an inch or two, half-expecting her to turn teeth against him, but her body was tender against his, lacking any sign of aggression. All at once, he knew it. This is a shadow of the little girl I knew. And he mourned for that girl even as he rejoiced in her embrace, and Grayday was all at once disappointed and in love with the creature laid against his side.
He didn't deserve this, he knew. He didn't deserve to be the one to comfort her when he was the one who'd broken her down, brought her all this pain. He didn't deserve this, but he revelled in it, and had the gall to feel gratitude toward whatever forced had decided to make him her only safehold in this mess. (Later on, he would see that he was that force, and he would wonder at all the terrible things he'd done in the name of love.)
For a moment he simply stood there, allowing Adeline to shelter against him, but soon enough, words he should have spoken long ago bubbled up from his throat.
"I'm so sorry, greeneyes," he sighed, resting his chin against the back of her neck.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 28, 2017
She doesn’t know when he pulls away, for she leans into him hard to keep the distance short. The sound of his heart in his chest soothes her and she hums to the tune, feeling it race on her cheek. She’s able to calm her breathing, finding something regular and realizing how much she has missed this. She forgets the time at the circle, forgets the I love you, and focuses on the comfort he’s always been able to give her no matter what.
After he speaks, Adeline doesn’t do anything. She never knows what to do right away, especially in his presence, and she has to search for a reason he’s sorry. Her jaw tightens and she shakes her head, feeling his chin upon her neck. He’d once told her he was never going anywhere and she let the doubt grow, seeding and rooting into her chest.
“Don’t be sorry,” she tells him, muffled into his fur. She pulls back just enough so she does not taste the cold and wet he’s giving off. “Just… promise you won’t leave me? I can't do this without you.” She wants to pull away from him and search his face but she stiffens and waits instead, unable to see the look that he forms. She can hide away here in his chest, away from the rest of the world; away from the loneliness she’s so tired of feeling. She doesn’t have to be alone here.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 28, 2017
He wondered - why are all these women so set on gettin' promises off of me? - but this was Adeline, and his first answer would always be yes, anything. And even when he'd swallowed that back and taken a moment to think, Grayday found himself able to carry on. "I promise."
There were a million things that could follow that up. Even if it's better for you? he wanted to ask, but he feared the answer, and more than that, he knew it would only bring more uncertainty into her heart. She seemed so fragile, right then. Like he could breathe wrong and break her - and Grayday couldn't bring himself to say anything that might hurt her more than he already had. He didn't know how they'd gotten to this point, where anger faded to this desperate plea she now asked of him. He wondered if they would ever get back to the time when they embraced in affection and nothing else.
"I'm done askin' things of you, Adeline," he murmured. "From now on - I'm never gonna make you do a thing, alright? We're gonna go by your schedule. Your rules. I can't keep doing this to you. So if you wanna go home, that's what we'll do. If you wanna go to Slivertip, we'll do that. I'll follow you."
Sunny and Dawn were hovering somewhere in the back of his mind, but he was past that. This love he had for her was so warped, so principal that it overruled every other responsibility he had. He loved his children, but he loved Adeline more. He was his girl. His best, his favorite.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 28, 2017
I promise.
Adeline heaves a breath and holds it, repeating the words over and over in her mind.
I promise. I promise. I promise.
She releases the breath we great relief and, slowly, pulls away from him when he speaks. She blinks a few times as she tries to sort it. He’s never asked anything of her, never forced her to do anything she didn’t want to do. She doesn’t even blame him for taking her away from her family and, yet, he’s laying the world at her feet for forgiveness that she doesn’t have to give. Her tongue crosses her muzzle, feeling the dryness in her throat that makes it difficult to continue with the lump lodged in the back.
“I want—” What?
She tries again: “I want to stay with you.”
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 28, 2017
The words first echoed around in his mind and then, once understood, seemed to fill him up and break him open. It wasn't I love you, but he felt like ten men in that moment, looking down at Adeline's face like she was a woman speaking a woman's words, and not his frightened niece speaking the words of a child. He couldn't stop the tidal waves of euphoria that continued to wash over him, and through him, after a time.
The tide urged him closer to Adeline. Didn't it always?
"I always want to be with you," he told her, as he'd told her time and again. His legs carried him toward her, but he slipped by at the last moment, bounding a few paces away to rid his legs of the charged, restless energy that'd taken hold of him. There, he reared back and wheel around toward her, dropping into a playful bow when he was facing her again.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 28, 2017
She knows those words. She’s heard them before, she’s felt this before but the intensity does not match. Even though she has heard those words before, she takes them and stores them away where they fester and she doubts them, forcing herself to ask again and again for him never to leave.
Something else fishes around in her mind that she can’t grasp long enough to understand. She thinks of Steady and how long it has been since she has seen him. His unspoken promise never to leave her has always remained but the differences between him and this man become more and more pronounced the longer they are together.
She swallows the lump in her throat but she freezes as he begins to approach but slip by her just as quickly. Her head spins to watch as he bounds away and her mouth opens to say something, to call him back, but his intentions become clear. Her legs do not want to move her any more than they did several minutes ago and she shakes her tail a few times, trying to rid herself of the feelings long enough to delve into the playful invitation of her best friend. Adeline dances forward a few steps but her nose wrinkles in second thought and she freezes, shaking out the damp feeling from her fur.
“You’ll have to catch me,” she tells him, forcing a smile to her features that becomes natural after a moment, then turns away to sprint across the open field.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 28, 2017
He didn't see the hesitance - couldn't see it, anymore. Perhaps if he'd paid more attention, he would have noticed the rigidness of her stance, but the relief of being forgiven, accepted, wanted made him too giddy to focus on such simple things. She ran, and Grayday was a step behind her, bumping his shoulder against her hip, nipping at the shallow dip of her side, panting as her tail whipped against his face when she surged ahead of him.
She was lighter and quicker than he was, but he doubted she wanted to run as much as he wanted to catch her. It burned like a physical need in his chest, real as hunger or the necessity to breathe that he had so recently re-discovered. He wanted to catch her and - and
A short, abrasive growl escaped the male - easily written off as playful, but in reality, meant to supress the thoughts that threatened to come to mind, to return him to the creek where he'd been seeking asylum. He wanted to catch her, and the rest could be sorted out later.
Grayday surged forward with renewed vigor and attempted to nudge the smaller wolf off her balance. Without waiting to see if he'd succeeded, he fell back and then leapt into her, intent on stopping her progress completely.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 28, 2017
Her words are caught in her mind as he stays near her and she feels every electric touch he gives her and for a moment, she doesn’t think the game will last very long. However, she gets ahead with a burst of energy that makes her feel like she’s flying. The weight of the world sheds from her shoulder; like Atlas shrugging the heavens from his grasp, and the freedom is something she cannot remember feeling.
She forgets, in that moment, that she’d ever felt lonely at all.
Before she knows it, however, she feels her legs give out beneath her and she hits the ground with force. Her chin hits the ground hard and her teeth clattered on impact, her legs roughing up as the scrap against the dirt and grass. She doesn’t have the time to catch her breath as the majority of his weight is upon her, keeping from her picking herself back up and running off again. A heartfelt laugh bellows out of her as she struggles to catch her breath, wiggling from beneath the heavy brute.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 28, 2017
He worried, briefly, for her rough fall and his even rougher landing. He'd heard the click of her teeth and had winced, but she was laughing and wriggling, and soon enough, all other thoughts had fled. Grayday growled again - this time truly playful - to warn her against further attempts at escape. He had her, now, and his thoughts whirred in a dual effort to both come up with the next step in this game and, conversely, to thoroughly conceal it from himself.
He growl faded to an assertive grumble as he continued to hold himself over her, unwilling to let up his newly-caught prey. His own ears were deaf to the sound - the only thing he could hear was the loud, galloping tattoo of his heartbeat. She could feel it, doubtlessly, and at last, something like embarrassment forced Grayday to let up and relent, pulling back enough that she could escape, if she wanted to.
"Pinned ya," he panted, unable to catch his breath.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 31, 2017
There’s a few seconds of half-hearted squirming beneath the larger wolf that doesn’t really get her anywhere. The rumble from his chest vibrates where he touches her and her laugher slows, turning her green eyes in his direction as he refuses to let her up. She feels the beat of his heart through her own skin and she turns her head so that she can nip and lick at whatever she can: his muzzle, the top of his nose, his ear.
It all fades after a moment, before she’s even given a chance to question and feel differently about it. She does not even move when there’s a little laxity between the two of them and his struggling words, pinned ya cause a playful smile upon her face.
When she finally realizes there’s enough wiggle room to scoot from beneath him, she rolls over onto her belly and stands, her back connecting with the curve f her chest that prevents her from her full height. Awkwardly, she bends and shuffles forward out of his grasp and halfway turns around. “It was just luck,” she snorts, tail wagging to combat the tone of her words as she dances off several feet ahead.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 31, 2017
Short phone post, forgive me
Adeline turned on him with teeth and tongue. His ears flapped erratically when caught between her jaws, but instead of drawing away, the male pressed closer. While he still held her captive, he returned her attentions with kisses of his own, liberally coating the younger wolf's cheeks with his slobber. Soon enough, though, she'd gotten away and stood before him, teasing him like she used to. Maybe not so broken after all, he thought, buoyed by her good humor. It'd been so long since they'd had fun together.Day growled to refute her words, afraid that, if he spoke, something equal parts stupid and damning would come pouring out of his mouth. Instead, he merely stared at her, tail lashing and eyes glinting in silent challenge. Oh yeah?
Even when she danced away, he stayed close to the ground, ready to spring up and chase after her if she ran, but hoping that she could be fooled into coming closer to him by his lowered position and the dare writ across his face.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 31, 2017
Each move it leads her to constantly look back for him and after several yards, she realizes he isn’t following after her. Her gait slows and her face droops a little, but she playfully slaps her front feet on the ground. She gives him a low boof before bounding forward. If she can’t get him to follow, she’ll just have to pester him into it.
Adeline’s dancing returns as she bounces back in his direction. With a little extra speed, she makes a wide circle around his lazy form and barks a few more times, a little louder. When she’s around the front again, she slaps the ground again a little closer before she turns to dart off again.
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 31, 2017
He'd meant to lure her, but Adeline had always been the better prize. She pranced in front of him, all gloating and beauty, free and unattainable across from his long and lumbering body. Day watched her, whining softly to himself. Part of him knew what she was doing, but the rest simply didn't care.
Grayday sprang up and rocketed toward the red girl, pulling back at the last second so that they met in a muted thump rather than a heavy thwack. A moment later, he was panting hot breaths of rotting-meat scent into her face.
"Pinned ya again."
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Addie - March 31, 2017
She doesn't get far when she bounds away a second time. Before she's gotten any traction, she's in the ground again and it takes a second to realize it. The fall isn't as harsh but she still squirms and tries to get away. After squirming a bit, she manages to be on her back again with his breath in her face. Her nose wrinkles and she tries to wiggle away. "Fine, fine," she says through new laughter, her squirming settling as her tail thumps against the ground, occasionally hitting the backs of his legs. "You win."
RE: isn't hope an animal? - Grayday Sr. - March 31, 2017
Grayday stood, letting up his newly-caught prey, and preened for a moment. It was good to win, of course, but he didn't feel ready to let the game end just yet. The male turned toward the East, tilting his head to the side as if he'd just seen something strange.
"That's an odd place to put a piano," he commented, and then as soon as he thought Adeline was sufficiently distracted, he turned and ran in the opposite direction, tongue lolling happily out of his mouth.