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+--- Thread: Redhawk Caldera something always brings me back to you. (/showthread.php?tid=21517)
something always brings me back to you. - Finley - April 19, 2017
Tagging just for reference :)
The sun that tapped on Finley's eyelids that morning was bright and relentless. Reluctantly, she blinked at the world around her to find it pink and glowing in the early dawn. She stretched and look about her to see @Elwood beside her with @Lagan and @Eljay lying not too far. With another turn of her head, she saw Raven laying nearby with each little firebird nestled against her - @Phox and Towhee lying atop each other as usual, @Orca and @Titmouse snuggled neatly around them. Even @Birk and @Sassafras were not too far, both stretched across the grass, sleeping peacefully in the hazy light.
As painfully aware of who was missing amongst them as she was, Finley was surprised to feel oddly... okay. She couldn't call it contentment. Hell, even considering it okay felt like it didn't quite fit right. And she supposed it wasn't that she actually okay so much as... in that moment, surrounded by her family in the early hours of the morning with the sun warming her back, it sort of felt as though there might actually be a day out there somewhere in the future where she could actually be okay.
The ghost of a smile pulled at her lips, but Fin was unable to give it quarter. She turned to look at Elwood sleeping beside her and leaned over to place a tender kiss upon her muzzle - gently so as not to wake him - and then she stood to creep quietly away. The alpha aimed her paws towards the lake at the center of the Caldera, but without even realizing it, she had turned. It wasn't too long before she found herself standing at the graves of Peregrine and Fox, gazing down at them with an unreadable expression on her face. She didn't know why she was there or what it was she wanted. Still, Finley sat heavily before them, wishing so desperately that they could be there with her when she so very needed them.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Elwood - April 19, 2017
*pounces* Making some assumptions as I go about Elwood's reaction to Liffey's departure!
When Finley had first told Elwood what had happened with Liffey, he hadn't wanted to believe her. Why would Liffey leave Redhawk Caldera -- and without saying goodbye to her father or the rest of her family? But Finley had been distraught, and Elwood's heart sank with each passing minute. He knew that her relationship with their daughter had grown volatile as of late, but he just couldn't understand how it had erupted like that.
And now, his baby girl -- although really, she was anything but -- was who knows where, with a boy that Elwood hadn't even met. In classic Elwood fashion, he had comforted his wife and masked his own feelings; but the first night without Liffey had been hard, and he had slipped away from the rendezvous site to deal with his frustration and sadness alone.
However, time marched on like it always did, and the Blackthorn family was slowly on the mend. He woke that morning to a gentle touch to his muzzle, and his eyelids fluttered open in time to see Finley's form retreating through the tall grass. He stood and stretched, then followed her, but only after making sure that the firebirds were accounted for and would be in the presence of at least one adult when they stirred. He smiled at the sight of the four of them pressed to Raven's flanks, then meandered after Finley.
He found her seated near the graves of Peregrine and Fox and, without a word, he sat down next to her.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Finley - April 20, 2017
*glee!*
Finley knew someone was approaching, and without his voice or his scent to tell her, she knew that it was Elwood. Of course it was him. It was always him, keeping her on her feet, picking her up the many, many times she fell. She felt him sit down beside her and wordlessly leaned into him, selfishly taking the comfort he provided with his mere presence. Always solid, sturdy, never faltering. Her Twig.
She let the silence linger between them for a few minutes before finally, she broke it. "Remember when Peregrine yelled at us until we admitted we loved each other?" Fin said, a melancholy smile stretching across her muzzle, "Or.. when he yelled at me, at least. I imagine the two of you had a very calm, practical conversation about it over a cup of tea." Elwood didn't need to be shouted at to accept or understand something. He didn't even need to be asked most of the time; empathy came as naturally to him as impatience and frustration came to Finley.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Elwood - April 21, 2017
Neither wolf spoke for a long moment, but it was Finley who eventually broke the silence. It wasn't what Elwood expected her to say; he was anticipating something about Liffey's abrupt departure, or maybe about the pregnancy that just hadn't happened. He had thought it would be a given, but it seemed that fate had other plans for the Blackthorns. Maybe it was for the best.
Instead, she began reminiscing about the beginning of their relationship. It was appropriate, considering they were sitting at Peregrine's grave. The former Alpha male had played a big role in helping Finley and Elwood realize the nature of their feelings. "Yeah, he didn't have to yell at me," he agreed with a laugh.
He paused, then added, "But he made sure I understood what he was saying. He told me that you were in love with me and that I should give you a chance." He grinned, leaning over to nudge against Finley's shoulder playfully with his own.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Finley - April 23, 2017
Finley smiled faintly as her mate laughed at her comment. She wasn't at all surprised that no yelling had happened between him and Peregrine. She couldn't imagine any yelling had ever happened between Elwood and anyone else. Not that he had never been angry, but she knew that his quiet, calm disappointment was louder and more effective than any yelling she had ever done in her life.
She was immensely grateful none of that was upon him now. She reached to nip lightly at his retreating muzzle after he nudged her, giving him an admiring smile. "How many times have you cursed him for convincing you to do that?" she asked, her voice jesting but her heart aching at the thought. She would never understand how she could possibly deserve this man. Fin had done everything to him from punching him in the face to driving his kids away. It didn't make sense that she could be forgiven, and yet, here he was.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Elwood - April 27, 2017
Elwood leaned back thoughtfully, pretending to seriously consider Finley's question. In reality, there hadn't been a single moment that he had regretted their relationship or how it came about. They had been through their share of ups and downs -- and would surely see more in the future -- but he wouldn't trade their love, family, or pack for anything.
"Oh, just a few times," he teased with a laugh, grinning at Finley. He then turned to look absently at the graves of Peregrine and Fox for a long moment, his smile gradually sliding away. When he had sobered slightly, he cast a sidelong glance at his mate. "You doing okay?" he asked; he didn't mention Liffey by name, but he was trying to refer to their daughter.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Finley - April 28, 2017
Finley could tell her mate was being sarcastic. She bumped her shoulder into his chest playfully, and also as a show of gratitude. She might not deserve it, but hell if she wasn't going to take it no matter how selfish it might be. His question sobered her lightening mood, though. She stilled at his side, refocusing her gaze at the place where her friends were buried side by side.
"Okay," Fin said, lying and knowing he would know it, "I mean, terrible. But okay." She paused, feeling tears suddenly flooding her eyes and needing a moment to reel herself back in. After a few seconds, when she thought it might be safe, she added in a squeak, "I wish I'd known how to make her stay." And then began again the process of reeling herself back in as her gaze darted away from the graves and away from Elwood, at some random spot on the distant horizon.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Elwood - May 02, 2017
He nodded. He felt terrible, too. It was only natural for their children to grow up and move on, but he hated the way it had transpired with Liffey. After a pause, he replied, "It sucks." His comment was frank and truthful, though his phrasing was meant to bring a wry bit of humor to the situation. Even Elwood couldn't manage to smile, though.
He sighed. "I guess it was her time to go," he said. It would have been so easy for him to blame Finley for what had happened, to hold a grudge against her, but he knew that wouldn't be beneficial to anyone. And besides, if he was being perfectly honest, Liffey was a culprit, too. But it was over. "I'm sure she'll be fine, even if we miss her," he said, trying to take his own advice even as the words left his mouth.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Finley - May 03, 2017
Elwood summed up the situation pretty well, in her opinion. This did suck. It sucked something fierce. It would have been one thing for her to leave after speaking with them and telling them where she intended to go. They could have given their blessing and parted on good terms. But no, she had to.. Fin didn't even have the heart to be angry, likely because she too knew now that what had happened was her fault.
Fin looked at her mate as he tried to offer her comfort. There was a lack of conviction in his words that spoke of the heartache he had tried to hide from her. She looked away at the graves of their friends again, swimming in her own unhappy thoughts. "Do you think Lagan will want to leave someday? Or the firebirds?" she asked. She had been thinking about it a lot lately when she never had before. Fin had been stupid to think none of her kids would ever want to leave - she was their mother, after all. She had left her natal pack the moment she'd been able.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Elwood - May 04, 2017
Finley's question gave him pause. He pursed his lips thoughtfully, considering the personalities of his remaining children and godchildren. Lagan was becoming more adventurous as he aged, and seemed to enjoy the freedom of exploring outside of Redhawk Caldera. But he also appeared to appreciate having a consistent place to rest his head at night, and he was close with his parents as well as with the firebirds. He couldn't see Lagan deciding to leave them -- unless he did so to be with Liffey. He suspected that would be the only dealbreaker.
And the firebirds were still too young to really tell, in his opinion, except for Towhee. She disliked anyone who was not immediate family or a core member of their pack, so he couldn't imagine her ever departing. And Orca hadn't even gone on any excursions to Bramblepoint with Raven. But Phox and Titmouse -- maybe.
After quietly musing for a few seconds, he shrugged. "I think Lagan will stick around, unless he decides he wants to go with Liffey. But I think the chances of that are slim," he said. He gave a small smile. "And I don't think we have to worry about the firebirds just yet." Of course, shortly after this conversation, Titmouse would disappear -- but sadly, Elwood was unable to predict the future.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Finley - May 08, 2017
Fin's thoughts were on her own children just after asking the question. The firebirds were so young still; she couldn't imagine them leaving being so tiny and dependent on them. One day they'd be old enough to go, but even then it was hard to think on. Her two boys could leave in a second. They were both older and perfectly capable of handling themselves. Well.. sort of. She had a feeling life in a different pack would come as quite a shock to them both. They had been coddled at the Caldera, Liffey included. Maybe that was the problem.
"I hate the thought of any of them leaving..." Fin said sadly, though her brow furrowed thoughtfully a moment later before she continued, "But I think it's been wrong of me to act like they never will. I mean, shit.. Colt and I left my parents the second we could. Of course they might one day want something of their own, and I feel like I've left them completely unprepared for it."
Her ears fell back and she licked her lips anxiously at the idea. What if Lagan aspired to lead his own pack someday? What if Eljay longed to have kids of his own to care for? Were either of them at all prepared to go after those desires? Did they have any idea how to achieve their goals? Or how to cope once they did?
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Elwood - May 08, 2017
Finley's words rang true for Elwood, too. He couldn't deny that he had sheltered his children. He was just as guilty as she was. And while they both knew it was natural for young adult wolves to leave their natal packs and move on, it just didn't seem right; Redhawk Caldera had always been home to their family, and it was hard to imagine it without each and every Blackthorn.
But they had been forced into that reality some time ago, when Lucy disappeared, and now it was happening again. This was different, but it wasn't any less painful. But Finley was right; he, too, had departed from the comfort of his own family -- following at his sister's heels -- without regret. It would seem that they needed to learn to let go, just as their own parents had.
"We may have babied them a little," he agreed sheepishly. "But I don't think they're totally unprepared. Eljay wouldn't like it, but I think he would be able to take care of himself if he were to ever leave the caldera. Lagan, too." He paused, then added with a small smile, "And Liffey just takes after you more than we realized. She's independent."
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Finley - May 08, 2017
In all Finley had said and in all of her concerns for her young charges, she did not blame a single of their shortcomings on Elwood. Her criticism of their upbringing was focussed solely on her to the point where it didn't even occur to her to explain this to her mate. She looked at him as he spoke, considering him thoughtfully. She wasn't quite as confident that Eljay would be okay on his own, nor Lagan. But that was her being a mother, not an actual reflection of their capabilities. She would always worry - a fate that would have made her younger self cringe.
She attempted to smile back when Elwood commented on Liffey, but the words stung a little still. She bit her lip as she pondered how to voice what she'd been thinking as of late, but eventually just gave up and went with speaking over deciding how. "I'm sure they would survive, but I want them to do better than that," Fin said softly, then continued with a little more confidence, "I think I'm going to give up my Scout trade. I need to be able to focus more on the kids and making sure they are prepared for what's expected of them as adults, whether it's here or in any other pack. I've been too distracted and this... this is more important than my gallavanting."
Fin sighed, then paused as her face shifted suddenly to a look of surprise and confusion. "Did I really just say that?" she asked with some incredulity, turning to look at Elwood again with a single brow quirked.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Elwood - May 08, 2017
He listened quietly as Finley spoke, nodding his agreement. He wanted their children to do more than just survive, too. Her next words made him pause, however. His head went still and his eyes widened, brows raising as Finley outlined what seemed to be a well thought out plan. She wanted to give up her scout trade, and Elwood immediately felt conflicted.
He had never liked her traveling -- especially after she was injured during one of her excursions -- but also was loathe to take away her freedom. So he was shocked by her suggestion, although part of him had to agree that it made sense. Not only were there puppies to care for, but Finley already had less time to scout as an Alpha. Her reasoning was extremely selfless, and Elwood's heart warmed as he realized just how much she had grown as a mother.
"Who are you?" he teased gently before sobering. "If that's really what you want -- I'll support you, of course. But I want you to be totally sure about it," he said.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Finley - May 09, 2017
Fin felt as though she were having an out of body experience. Desiring to give up her adventuring was one thing, but to be self-aware enough to realize it was so incredibly unlike her to do so? Unheard of. Her mind ran to Colt, as it often did in these moments where she pulled away from her reckless past. She thought of what he would say to see her now. Those who had been with her at the Caldera the longest could see the change in her clearly enough to recognize it, as Elwood asserted with the way he responded to her declaration, but only Colt really knew her at her wildest and quite possibly her worst.
In any event, Fin nudged her brother from her mind and returned to the present with her mate. "Yeah, I'm sure," she confirmed, "I haven't had time for it in months and let's face it - did it really ever do the pack much good that I know the best route from here to the coast? I can be more useful mentoring the kids, and it will give me more of the time I need to help you lead." It was the right decision, and Finley was truly drawn to it. She had only ever picked up scouting because it fed her need to feel free of any ties that she considered to be holding her down. Plus, it had been a cool title to brag about back in the day. This was better. There was no need to run anymore. Plus, she could still brag about it. Win-win.
"I'm keeping my mercenary job, though," Fin tacked on with a slight smile, "I need to keep my bear-fighting skills sharpened so I can keep you in line." The memory of Elwood sitting up and doing a bear impression for her the day they'd first met was forefront in her mind, brightening her smile as she considered it.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Elwood - May 10, 2017
Elwood couldn't help but smile as Finley explained her conclusion. She was careful to add that she wouldn't be giving up her mercenary trade, which, naturally, he was fine with. He was proud of her, and he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. "Sounds good to me, bear fighter," he agreed, snipping at the soft fur near her jawline as he withdrew.
"You know, I think there's been a dangerous bear hanging around these parts lately. You should probably investigate," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. He took to his feet while he spoke and slunk a short distance away, planting himself behind a collection of scrubby bushes. Once he was out of sight, he gave his best bear impression -- a rumbling growl -- and shook the leaves.
RE: something always brings me back to you. - Finley - May 10, 2017
this felt like a good place to end :)
Finley leaned into her mate's touch, growling softly as he nipped at her. She smiled at the nickname. It had been a long time since she'd fought any bears but could honestly say she didn't miss it. Well, not much anyway. She was still an adrenaline junky at heart and did miss the excitement from time to time. But, she would simply have to continue to learn to find excitement elsewhere instead of from needlessly risking her life.
One of such ways quickly presented itself. Fin furrowed her brows, smirking at Elwood as he informed her of the bear that had apparently been haunting the Caldera. She turned to watch him walk away, wondering what he was up to. When he began to "roar" and rustle around in the bushes, she laughed aloud at his antics. "Well hell, how have we survived this long with such a fiercesome predator about?" Fin quipped as she stood and prowled towards where her mate was hidden with her head slung low.
The Blackthorn paused just a few feet away from where her mate stood poorly hidden in the brush. She crouched low, then sprang forward to pounce on him. There was so much to do for the pack - borders to mark, caches to fill, pups to care for and departed packmates to mourn. But, for a little while, it was nice to forget about all of it and do a little "bear" fighting.