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+--- Thread: Redhawk Caldera Family don't end with blood. (/showthread.php?tid=21523)
Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - April 20, 2017
Towhee was busy retelling the story about the coyote take-down for the umpteenth time, ignoring the bored looks on @Orca's and @Titmouse's faces and the fact that @Phox was standing behind her and surely editorializing her tale. Only when @Elwood returned with a spot of lunch did she totally lose her siblings' attention. That was okay, though; she was famished too and rushed to join the gaggle of feeding wolves around the moose's shinbone.
After they were done eating, the Redhawks retreated to various spots around the rendezvous site to sleep off their afternoon meal. Towhee crawled up beside a sleepy Phox, who had parked very close to Aunt @Finley. The Alpha female didn't seem as down in the dumps today but Towhee looked up at her speculatively before pushing herself onto all fours and then flopping unceremoniously between her godmother's outstretched forelegs.
Ignoring the fact that she was quickly growing much too big for the space, she rolled onto her back and batted her aunt's chin before saying, "Aunt Finley? Can you tell me a story?" Even as she asked, she realized she couldn't see Finley's face from this angle (so there was no reading her lips) and that her own body weight was trapping the woman's legs (making signing impossible). With a sheepish laugh, she rolled off and took up a sphinx-like position facing her instead.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Finley - April 20, 2017
As was so often the case these days, Finley's mind was elsewhere. She had told herself to let go of what had happened and to be in the present more, but on lazy afternoons such as these, it was all the more difficult. Try as she might, it was just so hard to not wonder where Liffey was, what she was doing. Had she caught up with that boy of hers? Was that even where she was going? There were so many questions left unanswered, just like the last time. It made her sick thinking about her two daughters and knowing she would never really know what had happened to either of them...
Finley felt a knock on her chin and dragged herself back from her reverie. Towhee flopped around between her forelegs and Fin had to tilt her chin skyward in order to make room. She quirked a brow thoughtfully at the girl, wondering how exactly she expected this to work. It seemed Towhee had the same thought after a few seconds as she moved away to settle before her.
"A story, eh?" Fin repeated thoughtfully, her mind drifting from place to place. She'd never been good at making up stories (see: the Lake Rodney origin story) and really only had the one fictional tale she'd known since she was a kid (see: the story about chasing shooting stars that I've used like four times now). No, she wasn't in the mood for a fable or a fairy tale. She was in the mood for reminiscing, as painful as it happened to be for her lately.
"Has anyone ever told you about how your parents and I came to found this pack?" she asked, equal parts speaking and signing.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - April 21, 2017
Her godmother almost immediately obliged her request, after taking a moment to think. At Finley's question, Towhee paused and shook her head. She knew about her parents, although the entire concept did not mean to her (or her siblings) what it might mean to others. For all intents and purposes, she had three perfectly wonderful parents: Elwood, Finley and Raven. They did wear different titles but Towhee really didn't know the difference, to be perfectly honest, nor would it change anything once she learned about more traditional family roles.
-You guys found it?- she said, reverting to her preferred method of communication. She was glad to have begun mastering speech, yet signing would always be Towhee's true language. -Where did you live before?- The idea that her loved ones hadn't always lived here at the caldera really surprised her and she was eager to learn more.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Finley - April 23, 2017
It would always break Finley's heart that these pups would never know their parents. It was incredibly cruel, and as little as she ever wanted to make her godchildren unhappy, she felt as though she did a disservice to her best friends that their kids didn't know just how cruel that was. They were too young for it to really matter, of course. She, Elwood and Raven had worked too hard for them to ever feel as though they were without. But they were getting old enough now that it was time they knew where they had come from, and the incredible wolves that were part of them.
"We started the pack here," Fin explained, changing her wording since the concept of founding was apparently easily misinterpreted and she wasn't sure how else to explain it, "We originally lived in an area to the North called Blacktail Deer Plateau. First it was just your dad and I, then he and your mom got together and she lived with us there for a while too. We moved here almost three years ago."
She paused, making sure her goddaughter was keeping up and there wasn't anything she needed to explain before moving forward.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - April 24, 2017
Towhee listened (or her version of it, anyhow) very carefully as Finley explained that they had originally come from something called a plateau. Her lips parted to ask about that but they pressed together again when her godmother mentioned that they had come to the caldera three years ago. She paused then, in case Towhee had any questions, which she did.
-How long is three years?- she wondered, oblivious to how idiotic that might sound. -And what's a...- Well, she didn't have a sign for it, so she would have to repeat it back out loud, based on the way Finley's lips had moved. "Plateau?" It sounded a lot more like "play dough" coming from her mouth but she would be none the wiser unless Finley made an effort to correct her.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Finley - April 28, 2017
Towhee was keeping up. Sort of. She apparently was full of questions, though. Finley considered her inquiries, trying not to show her mental struggle on her face. How long is three years? Towhee (aka Kat) was not making this easy for her (aka Stevie). After a few seconds of consideration, she gave it a shot. "Think of how long you have been alive. Three years is like... ten of those," she explained, offering a smile and praying that the answer would suffice. How the crap do you teach kids how to tell time?
"And a plateau," she continued, hoping to push straight past the the whole time thing, "is like a mountain with its head cut off." To illustrate the concept, Fin sliced her paw straight across the air. Again, smiling brightly and hoping she'd taught her goddaughter something valuable. And accurate.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - May 02, 2017
Towhee met both answers with a thoughtful look. She couldn't really grasp the passage of time too well, though the description of a plateau gelled at least. While she sat there processing this information, several more questions cropped up in her mind. She knew Finley was trying to tell a story here—per the child's own request—but Towhee couldn't help herself. She needed so many more details to fill in the blanks in her mental image.
-Why did you move?- was the natural first question. -What did they look like?- she added. Someone had probably told her about Peregrine and Fox before but nothing had really sunk in so far, likely given her age. Now she found she really wanted to dig deeper and get to know her parents in the only way she could: through those that had known them while they were still alive.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Finley - May 03, 2017
Fin was about to continue her story when Towhee interrupted once again with more questions. She gave her goddaughter a patient smile, her heart twinging a bit at the latter inquiry. It was the first time any of them had ever shown any interest in their real parents. Fin was surprised at how conflicted it made her feel. It was mostly wistful sadness, but also a small part jealousy. She hadn't realized how very much she had come to consider the firebirds hers, and it was suddenly surprisingly uncomfortable to be explaining to one otherwise.
Fortunately, Fin was fantastic at compartmentalizing.
"Your dad, Peregrine, was tall with black fur and bluish green eyes," Fin began to explain, signing along with her words to ensure Towhee wouldn't miss anything, "Fox - your mom - was all red with gray eyes, and she was really small. About the same size as me. Your coat actually has made of the same shades of black and red as both your parents."
"To answer your first question," she continued, "Your mom never really felt at home at the Plateau, so she and your dad began looking for a territory of their own. They found the Caldera."
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - May 04, 2017
When Finley mentioned that Towhee shared coat colors with both parents, she glanced down at herself in mild surprise, though she quickly looked up again so she wouldn't miss anything her godmother said. Finley picked up where she had left off, explaining Peregrine's and Fox's departure from the plateau and the reason for it.
-Where does my white come from?- she wondered, still thinking of pelt colors. -From you and Uncle Elwood?- she guessed because Towhee didn't understand the first thing about genetics nor the special circumstances of her parentage. -You knew my dad before my mom did?- she asked before Finley could properly respond to the prior questions. For some reason, that baffled the youngster. How come Finley wasn't her (biological) mother then? Her kid logic wasn't adding up here.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Finley - May 07, 2017
This kid was extremely fully of questions. With a pang, she was reminded of Liffey who was just the same when she was that age. Always wanting to know why and what and where and how... Fin had struggled to give her all the answers she had sought as well. She'd eventually given up and tried to put Liffey off all of her asking... Finley assumed it was another one of the reasons her daughter was gone now, as she tended to believe now of every misstep she had ever taken as a parent, no matter how small.
"Yeah, I knew him when he was alpha of the Plateau. He was the one who acceptedme into that pack. And no, you didn't get anything from Elwood and I," she explained patiently, "It was your mom and dad that made you, so everything you are comes from them. Your dad's fur began to turn white in places when he got older, so that's probably why you have some of that color too."
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - May 08, 2017
Her godmother answered her patiently, explaining her response. When she finished, Towhee simply signed, -Oh.- She wouldn't truly process all of that until later. For now, she blinked and added, -So...- She smiled (a little sheepishly) and gazed avidly at the Redhawk matriarch, awaiting the rest of the story.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Finley - May 08, 2017
Surprisingly, Towhee accepted her latest round of answers without bombarding her with more. She smirked at the pup as she was prodded to continue her story. "Well, when Fox and Peregrine found the Caldera, they didn't exactly decide to stay here on their own," she explained, "They were exploring the higher cliffs and your mom fell and broke her leg. Her injury prevented her from being able to travel for a few weeks, so they claimed this place, your dad came back to the Plateau to announce he was leaving and ask if anyone wanted to follow, and then he and I came back and the pack became official."
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - May 08, 2017
A cold feeling of dread washed through Towhee when she heard about Fox's broken leg. It had all happened so long ago and she'd never met the woman, on account of the fact that she'd died birthing Towhee and her siblings. But it was difficult to imagine, all the same. When it came to loved ones, the Xi couldn't bear seeing them hurt. Hearing (or whatever) about it wasn't much better, even well after the fact.
She thought about these details for a few moments before inquiring, -But mom was okay?- Once assured of that, Towhee grew pensive for another moment or two before adding another question. -Was the...- She paused, then mimicked her godmother's earlier motion, slicing a paw through the air to indicate "plateau." -Were they sad my parents were leaving? They didn't even get to say bye to my mom!-
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Finley - May 09, 2017
Finley was pleased to hear Towhee ask about her mom's health after learning she'd broken her leg. It was a bittersweet joy, but still it touched her to see the little girl who had never known her mother referring to her as mom. It made the stand-in mother feel like she was doing something right, and that Peregrine and Fox would be pleased with her to see the kids they'd never met concerned about them and regarding them in such a way Towhee was then.
Which... lead to Fin considering that she may have been a little too blunt in her story telling. She pursed her lips slightly as she considered how to answer the little wolf. "They were emotional..." she confirmed, delicately avoiding the words pretty fucking pissed off about it, "Your dad and I let Fox know how everyone at the Plateau felt about her when we came back." Which was to say that they were pretty fucking pissed off at her. "Another of our packmates at the Plateau actually came with us. He helped us found the pack and was here at the Caldera for a while before he found a mate and set off to have a family of his own," Fin offered, wanting to convince Towhee that at least someone besides her from the Plateau had come and hadn't been too.. err... emotional.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - May 11, 2017
Finley confirmed her suspicions. Towhee imagined a pack of faceless wolves weeping over the double blow: learning that Fox was injured and, moreover, never coming home. Never mind that the child's mental image wasn't historically accurate in the least. She tucked that chapter into her proverbial back pocket and glanced at her godmother's face as the tale moved forward in time.
She licked her lips as she pondered this next bit of information. Leaving was a thorny issue for the young girl. She wasn't even four months old yet and already she had seen her fair share of wolves come and go. Most she couldn't remember well, if at all, but she was aware of their comings and goings. She considered those that left disloyal, especially since most of them just seemed to vanish overnight. But perhaps Towhee, being deaf and all, simply didn't hear their parting words or howls or whatever...
-Do most wolves do that?- she questioned, signing slowly, a dark look on her face. -Leave?- Many had left the caldera in her short lifetime. Her own parents and godparents (well, godmother) had left their former pack. Maybe it was absolutely normal. But the thought felt like a little punch in the gut to Towhee, who valued family, home and loyalty above all things.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Finley - May 15, 2017
Towhee accepted the information without question, for which Finley was grateful. Maybe someday she would be able to clarify, but with the firebirds so young and still so impressionable, she wanted them to have only good feelings towards their parents and the lives they had lead. A better way would have been to be honest - that even though the majority of the pack had disliked Fox, she had been too self-confident, ambitious and badass to care about their small-minded views of her. It would have been a much better lesson for the pup, but Fin was feeling soft-hearted that day, so Towhee got the Disney version of the tale.
Her goddaughter's question made her pause. She looked at the pup with a feeling of gloom and melancholy stealing into her veins. Her mind went to Liffey and Lucy, then wandered further along to Wildfire and Nightjar and Whip and Ferret and so many others that had left them. "Some do, yes," Finley answered, "It's not always a bad thing, though. Everyone at some point decides what they want to do with their lives and sometimes what they want to do is find a home and a pack of their own. I did when I was young. You might someday too. It's always sad to see the ones you love go, but everyone has to do what makes them happy and when you love someone, you have to be happy for them when they do, even when it's sad to let them go."
It was something she had only just learned for herself in the past few days from Liffey's abrupt departure. Fin knew it was good advice, but it was a terrible struggle for her just then to really practice it for herself. She was afraid of any of her remaining children ever leaving and wanted to do all she could to keep them there, even if it was selfish. She would have to let go and practice what she preached, but that was far easier said than done when her heart ached so much.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - May 15, 2017
Her aunt's explanation lent a little warmth to the chill trickling through her veins. Framing was important and she supposed Finley's words made a lot of sense, even if Towhee literally physically shuddered and began shaking her head when it was implied she might leave one day. -No,- she signed simply, so resistant to the mere suggestion that she felt the need to make it known. -I'll never leave.- Towhee couldn't imagine anything ever compelling her to walk away from the caldera and its inhabitants. Maybe others would do it—and she supposed it was all right, per Finley, even if Towhee still didn't like it—but it wasn't for her. She would be a Redhawk Caldera wolf until the day she died.
The pup lapsed into a pensive silence for a little while following that exchange, though suddenly something sparked in her eyes. It wasn't joy but something like fear. -Phox isn't allowed to leave either,- she said, a sort of petulance to her emphatic signing. Towhee couldn't stomach the idea of any of her closest loved ones leaving (and would try her best not to think of it ever again after this) but least of all her constant companion. -He won't ever want to leave, will he?- she added, the question and its accompanying tremble crumbling her tough façade and betraying a moment of insecurity.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Finley - May 15, 2017
Do we want to wrap up here? :)
Finley couldn't help but smile at Towhee's immediate rejection to ever leaving the Caldera. She hoped her goddaughter would always feel that way. She hoped they all would, but part of her realized how unlikely it was. Her brows furrowed with thought over how to respond to her questions about Phox. She couldn't speak for the boy and hesitated to make any promises that were out of her control to keep, but.. she just looked so panicked.
"I don't think your brother knows how to leave you," she commented honestly, "I think he'll stay wherever you are." She also believed Towhee would probably follow him wherever he went too if one day he decided his future lay elsewhere, but she already knew how the little firebird would respond to that assessment. Instead of explaining that thought, Finley just reached forward to scoop the girl into a wolf-y embrace, nuzzling her cute wittle cheeks. "If I have my way though, I'm keeping every one of you, so don't worry too much," she said with a grin.
RE: Family don't end with blood. - Towhee - May 15, 2017
Towhee was a little mortified to discover she was on the verge of tears, simply thinking about Phox taking off and leaving her and the caldera behind. Finley was quick to reassure her that her brother couldn't possibly do that to her. Eyes wide and shiny, she gazed hopefully into her aunt's face and clung to this conviction. Phox was incapable of leaving Towhee. If she stayed at the caldera, so would he. That was that.
She giggled despite herself, relaxing into Finley's snuggle, though she squirmed a little. She wasn't a little baby anymore. In fact, she was an up and coming mercenary! But truth be told, she would always be a bit of a softy for the few in her inner circle. So Towhee really didn't put up much of a fight at all, allowing herself to be cuddled and even doing a little bit of it herself.
Dat's a wrap! :D