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+--- Thread: Redhawk Caldera I'm sick of the past I can't erase (/showthread.php?tid=22050)
I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - May 31, 2017
@Burke ♥
Even though their kids had grown and went, Malice felt as if her legacy had not yet been completed. After all they had gone through, all the hardships and the pain, was it to end within the Caldera? A wolf of the Lanius family were to never give up... but she was part of something bigger now, wasn't she? Still, she was conflicted beyond words. She could not leave Burke, not with these moments perhaps being some of his last. She would not allow him to get hurt again; especially not by something she'd do. After his passing, perhaps, she'd leave also this life behind her to find something that suited her more. It brought a whimper to her throat, knowing that every life had to end - even if one kept on living. First it had been a warm, dark world for her, yet then came the light and the flowing grass in the wind that had brought Burke to her. She had grown as not only a wolf, but as a future star up there.
She rested under the moonlight, scarred eyes staring at nothing in particular and dusty chocolate pelt clean of the smell of the Fen. How she had gotten here? A journey across life itself.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - June 11, 2017
Burke hadn't talked much to Malice lately. He had been sick and she had been around, he believed. But he wasn't sure if she had been around. It was mostly a blur to him. Ever since leaving their former pack Arthendal she seemed more absent in his life. Perhaps, she didn't want to be with him anymore? He felt old and not as young when they got together. Maybe it was because they lost sight of their kids.
Burke decided to look for her, as they needed a good talk. He was not much of a talker but if she didn't want to stay with him then he wouldn't keep her from going. He was a bit surprised he even survived that poisoning. It had been quite close, and now he felt weaker and older, than before. He let out a howl for the female to pinpoint her location. His nose wasn't the greatest lately.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - June 12, 2017
She giggled at the possibility she might be cursed - at how she missed her best friends like never before. So many good souls lost to time, and she knew she could well be the next one. But, before any of that happened, she at least wanted to see her children again; wherever they might be. She trusted that the two brothers had found each other, yet could not confirm. Her chocolate ears swivelled atop her large head, seeking the weakened, old voice of her mate - her broken, yet one and only. She smiled a grieving smile as she got up and turned, leaving the moonlight to seek the shade of the caldera and, within it, Burke.
When she spotted his fading coat yet still striking features, she put on her gentle face of goodness willingly. If he were to allow it, she'd brush up against his creaking bones much like a cat would, placing a small yet meaningful kiss upon his cheek.
What's wrong, love?She asked then in her roughened voice.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - June 13, 2017
Burke didn't have to wait long before they were reunited once again. He sat down and allowed her to brush against him. Her touches were still affectionate but he still couldn't help but wonder. The older male cleared his throat. "I have the feeling I am becoming too old for you," he stated when looking straight ahead.
"If you do not want to stay by my side I won't blame you," he stated. It wasn't something Burke would stay to anyone. But with Malice he had a tendency to show a more sensitive part of himself. One that he did not often share. Only his mate, only maybe she didn't want to be his mate anymore. "Are you happy?"
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - June 13, 2017
Her head jerked back and her ears perked up in shock. Too old for her? She was a step grammie, and HE was too old for her?!
Nonsense.She said, dismissing the topic, not knowing it would continue. With a flick of her tail did she try and wave away these ridiculous thoughts of her mate, placing her younger body affectionately against him as she sat down. An unfortunate pair they were, but never with one another.
As happy as when our children were born - as happy as when I met you.She answered wisely - as if she was giving him a talking-to.
And that feeling will remain as long as you do.She continued, saddened by the thought if his death that was creeping closer and closer upon him. What was she going to tell Vassago and Pyro? They knew no better than that they had a father, and they probably wouldn't even realise his passing from wherever they were.
You are the only soul I want to be with within this Caldera - within this wilderness.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - June 18, 2017
Burke unintentionally closed his eyes when Malice snuggled her body against him. He was still a big sucker for her affection. Who knew, that even the grumpiest grandpa could appreciate some love. As Malice continued to speak how happy she was, Burke wanted to believe it. Ever since the sickness that he caught in Broken Antler, he had slowed down badly. He wondered if Malice would get irritated by it. Burke was not used to such unconditional love from one wolf.
"Who knew you would grow so soft,"he teased her then. They clashed badly in the beginning but now they had grown fond of each other. He placed a lick over her cheek, a rare thing to do for grandpa bunnybutt in public. "I never expected to end up here. When I was at Black Feather, I wasn't the greatest neighbor to them. Now they nursed me to health."
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - June 20, 2017
Though she did not show it often, Malice was a fairly loyal creature; enough to stay with Burke until his demise, whenever that may be. This caldera held nothing without him; not her children, not her friends - the only reason she could see for sticking around is to comfort Sebastian, his mate and young after it all. But, even then, she probably wouldn't stay forever; while Burke's prime was over, she had been flung right into it and would remain in for at least another year or so. Or would he even perish after her? He had outlived many, she assumed.
She let out a soft snort and rolled her eyes, but a giggle soon followed. His kiss, one of many (not that she had been counting) still brought a blush to her cheeks under her deep chocolate pelt.
It seems wolves really do change with time - if given the chance.She wondered aloud.
Perhaps the caldera wolves saw that you had as well. Soon enough they'll be calling you "Bunnybutt" as you all feast upon some summer berries, sharing stories of the past.It was a joke, a long one, but one she found fit the situation. A long, unending joke - but fun nevertheless.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - June 23, 2017
Burke snorted at her giggle. Normally he would find it stupid sound but now he caused it. He would never admit he liked the sound coming from Malice. "I hope not. I will fight them,"he stated, not that he was that good at it anymore. He hadn't fought in a long time. He would probably be too old to keep the fight going for long.
He let out a soft grunt. "Is there something you still want?," he then asked. He hoped she didn't want another litter. He couldn't give that to her. But if she wanted anything else perhaps he could arrange it for her.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - July 01, 2017
It was great to have the grumpy Bunnybutt back, if only for just a minute. At least he did not take her joke the heart.
Oh yes, my strong warrior!She commented cheerfully, noting that with his creaking bones and stiff movements he would not do well in combat anymore. She did not doubt his abilities to fight others when he was younger, but now? The question that came after was kind of a shock. What did she still want? Honestly, living peacefully with their family (even though Pyro and Vassago were not present) was as good as it could get, right? Then what made her doubt it?
I'd like to see Avalon again.She then answered, surprised at her own words. Had she ever spoken about him to Burke? Her ears lowered, noticing that this adventure had not felt complete without her bestest companion, even though she pretended he had been replaced. Within her heart, he could not be replaced. While Burke completed her, Avalon held a piece of her history - of herself.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - July 02, 2017
Burke loved the praise and puffed out his chest, full of gray hairs. The male deflated when Malice gave her answer. He slowly turned his gaze to her and frowned. Avalon? Who was this? He wasn't sure if that was a female or male. Perhaps a male. Should he be jealous? The male's confusion was clear on his face.
"I don't know who that is," he then admittedly. What he didn't know is something he couldn't give to her. The male let out a long sigh. He wished he could give it to her. Perhaps, this Avalon would be better than being with him?
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - July 09, 2017
She loved Avalon as a brother - a companion through thick and thin. And, while perhaps Avalon had felt different about her, it would never flower into something more. How could she love him the way she did Burke with him not even knowing how much the Teekon had changed her? She was different now.
You couldn't.She answered.
Avalon is my adopted brother - my best friend. Or... at least he was before, you know...She explained, knowing Burke probably remembered of how she had murdered her mother.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - July 18, 2017
Burke was surprised to hear about this male now. He was not sure if he liked it. It was something he could not bring her. "It is strange that I did not know about him before. Why didn't you tell me?," he asked. He was not worried. His tone had been even.
He had to think for a moment. Before what? But then he remembered that Malice had killed her mother. It still seemed to affect her. "Well maybe your paths will cross one day? I mean the past has a weird way of catching up with you sometimes."
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - July 24, 2017
Honestly, she didn't remember why she had not told of Avalon. Perhaps she had still been mad at him for not coming to her aid as she was banished, or perhaps she had assumed he had been killed at her father's peak anyway.
He was unnecessary to our cause - I think my mind had thrown him out of my train of thought after all the previous... hardships.She tried to explain, not wanting "I don't know" to be the definitive answer.
But what if he carries the news of my father's passing? What if he has claimed the Peak and wants me back into his ranks? I am a traitor to my home... but not to him.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - July 25, 2017
Burke slowly nodded. If he looked back at what they endured then it wasn't really a topic that had come up. Their main thing was survival, especially with two little pups. Burke's thoughts darkened, ungrateful little shits. They raised them and provided them with a good home and now he didn't know where both of them were. Oh well, it didn't bother him. Burke was more worried how much it would bother Malice. She had a tendency to look back in his opinion.
The older male cleared his throat. "Then you have to accept your father passed away," he spoke simply. "Traitor is just a label. It is what you think you are. Do you think you are a traitor?," he asked the female. Perhaps, he was trying to be a bit of a therapist for his wife. "I am a traitor too in Black Feather terms but I don't see myself as one. In my eyes, I did nothing wrong. If you want to go back and join under his rule then you shouldn't let anyone stop you," he spoke.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - July 25, 2017
She did not find her children to be ungrateful. They had her spirit and Burke's brains which resulted in some wanderlust. She did not doubt they had landed somewhere where they were happy and would sooner or later come to seek them again. At least, Pyro would. Of Vassago she wasn't sure. He had never liked sitting quietly and doing nothing like a caged bird. And neither did she... She shook it out of her system and returned to the topic at hand.
No... I was the rightful queen and was a better fit for the role than my mother. Though, killing her was probably not the best way to go about it...She admitted with a sad sigh. Her eyes grew wide at his following words. Not let anyone stop her to leave Teekon.
What about you? I should let you stop me. The peak is no place for me - the drought, the heat, the death - that's not me anymore.She rattled quickly, not wanting Burke to give up on her.
My place is with you - with the Teekon.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - July 25, 2017
Burke had to chuckle. However, his chuckle always sounded more like a grunt. He was certain Malice could distinguish his sounds. Even though, most of them were guttural sounds. He was reminded of when they met. Somehow in his opinion Malice had not been that tactical, perhaps there had been a few accounts. "Sometimes we don't know what our actions can cause. Maybe it was not tactical, but it could also have worked in your favor. Be the ultimate queen," he painted a picture. It was the same that his relationship with Malice would cost his loyal leadership at Black Feather.
Burke slowly grinned. "Oh yeah? You want this delicious grandpa to fight for you?," he grinned. His docked tail wiggled a bit. One could say that he was wagging his tail. "And after my death? Will you stay in Teekon?" He was mainly curious. Burke was certain she was going to outlive him due to her younger age.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - July 26, 2017
A year or so ago, she had been more of a feeler than a thinker. It was this very trait that had gotten her with Burke in the first place, but since then much had changed. She didn't jump into danger anymore, did not challenge others and kept clear from ranging too far. She had become a real softy, and though she did not mention it, she was sure Burke felt like one too.
My obsession with power probably came from my father. You could say it's in my genes.She chuckled with him. He was right; everything had worked out well after it, which made her feel even more guilty. She did not deserve Burke nor her friends.
Oh please no - watch your back!She giggled jokingly. If anyone should do their fighting it was her now. She frowned then, ears lowering, She didn't like the topic, so much was obvious, but she sighed softly.
I know of a pack in the mountains not far from here. I met both their alphas already and I think they kind of like me... So, if your passing was to come, I'd hopefully find a place there...
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - July 30, 2017
Burke went to lie down and let out a soft grunt of approval. "Ah so that was why you liked me. Your obsession with power," he teased her with his deep voice still rumbling happily. He had been a powerful wolf once though these days he didn't feel so powerful. The male was starting to feel really old. In this pack, he felt a lack of purpose perhaps because nothing was expected from him.
"I can still fight!," he puffed but didn't make too much of a verbal fight about it. He realized himself that he wasn't in the best shape. "That is good. I like that you have an idea at least. I don't want you to pine over me. You should continue living," he spoke with a firm nod.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - July 30, 2017
And because you were the only one concerned about me - cared for me.She added seriously, even though she knew it was a joke. Yes, she had liked his power and his dominance, but he had been there for her. He had let her into his home, which had ultimately resulted in them being banished and their children to be almost taken away. Staying loyal to him had always been easy; he was to her, and together they could overcome anything... Anything but time, it seemed.
She watched his form on the ground, his graying muzzle, and gave a quick kiss to his forehead to settle him.
Of course - I just want you to be careful.She smiled.
I won't - I promise...She replied rather softly, settling herself next to him. She had one burning question she wanted to ask though.
Do... Do you want to be buried anywhere special? I'll do whatever it takes to...to please you. but that was silly - if he was dead, he wouldn't notice. He wouldn't notice if his body was to rot away, left to the crows. At least, that's what everyone thought. Malice knew for certain Burke would become a bright star, just next to her mom's.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - August 01, 2017
Burke raised his muzzle proudly when she spoke. It might have been a bit of a joke but he had taken care of her. He had softened when loving Meldresi. He had learned that love could make you want to protect and care for a certain someone. He had shown that when he was with Malice. He had taken great care of the female. More than he had done for any other female.
He hummed at the soft kiss. Her replies were soft, after all, it was a sensitive topic. The male quirked up his lips. It was good if she didn't pine over him. He leaned against her as she settled next to him. "Anywhere in the ground would be good of my current home. I would like it to be a pack territory though." He glanced at her. "Don't be sad. It will happen one day. You should tell me what I need to do if something would happen to you." Maybe he would out live her, though he highly doubted it.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - August 06, 2017
Anywhere in the ground... What a weird way of phrasing it, though Malice knew Burke was no romantic guy that had a whole list of ceremonies planned for his own death. He was a rather simple man in that way. She liked that, though wished she could do more than just put him in the ground whenever the time came. Of course she could pick some flowers to decorate his resting place, even plant them around it if others found it alright. And pack territory? So that was either here or at the blackfeather woods... Who was she kidding? Nemesis would never allow a traitor to be buried in their grounds.
Somewhere with a nice view of the sky...She answered softly, doubting that she would be the first of them to pass. But, who knew? She wasn't the most careful of creatures.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Burke - August 10, 2017
Burke nodded at Malice her words. "I will carry your body to the best peak in the land so you can see the sky up close," he smiled and then quirked up his lips into his form of a smile. The male then placed his head on his paws and closed his eyes. He let out a happy hum. He was pleased that this was all talked about. The male just hoped that Malice wouldn't worry too much. He snuggled more against her. The old man was tired now.
RE: I'm sick of the past I can't erase - Malice - August 10, 2017
She smiled, founding it a romantic thing of him to say. She liked being up high, that much was certain. Perhaps it was this that sparked her interest in Moonspear. She actually almost couldn't wait to visit them again. Should she tell Burke? Surely he wouldn't think there was something between her and one of them. She'd wait to tell him, she decided, for she wasn't really sure about it yet.
She was taken out of her train of thought as she felt Burke come closer and she looked at him fondly. She wasn't tired, but she'd never pass up the chance of a good nap with her mate. She snuggled against him as he had done before and rested her head on her chocolate paws.
Sleep well...She cooed softly.