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+--- Thread: Morningside Cuesta and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say (/showthread.php?tid=22535)
and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 11, 2017
Set for the morning after this thread. Anyone is welcome to come by the den and try their luck with Momma Khoe :)
The silence was overwhelming. None of the children stirred; each still happened to be (miraculously) asleep, for which Khoe was beyond grateful. Grayday had slept outside of the den, but whether he was still out there or if he had moved elsewhere was beyond her knowledge. For now, they didn't speak, but she knew that they had three binding contracts between them which said they'd have to make up sooner or later.
And if they didn't, they would at least have to be cordial.
Khoe sighed and gently turned Mirza onto his bath to begin his morning bath. She needed a distraction, but for now, this was all she had.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 12, 2017
He hadn't moved from his spot all night, though he'd adjusted his position a few times, as different parts of his body went stiff or numb. Presently, he was leaned up against the rotting log that guarded the entrance of the den, blinking against the sunlight that was now glaring straight into his eyes.
The whole night had been spent in deep thought, his emotions cycling repeatedly through guilt, anger, desolation, and self-pity. Sometimes he couldn't believe Akuti, and sometimes he couldn't believe himself. Things had seemed so mixed up and rotten - a total one-eighty from the way things had been when they'd gone to bed. Half the time, he couldn't make heads or tails of it no matter how much he ruminated.
When morning came, he'd reached no conclusions. He was still hurt and angry, despite all efforts not to be. Soon enough, he began to hear movements from the den - Khoe, getting the children up and cleaned and fed. He wanted to go and help, but after last night, he felt unwelcome.
He cleared his throat. "Mornin'," he said, forcing his voice to be normal.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 12, 2017
Khoe heard the rustling outside and decided that Grayday putting his pride aside to stay near to his family gave him at least one point. Mornin', he called, and Khoe thought that until then, she hadn't realized how difficult it was to respond to even the most mundane things. Normally, she wouldn't have had to; her response would have been physical with nuzzles and chirps with only the gods knowing where it would have ended. But now that her competitiveness had kicked in and her arrogance was in full swing, she thought that it'd be a sign of weakness to allow him the pleasure. No matter how much she wanted to.
You can come in, she called, half-hoping he would walk away and leave her there so she could add another reason to be angry to her list. Knowing Grayday (especially Daddy Gray), Khoe knew that the chances of that happening were slim to none.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 12, 2017
Though the words did not seem to be meant in contention, the fur along Grayday's spine still stood on-end. I don't need your permission, he wanted to say, but he bit back the words; Maybe he did. Maybe, from now on, he'd have to curry favor with this woman in order to be a father to his children. Maybe he would never see them without her permission. Maybe, she would hold them out of his reach like a carrot on a stick, and he would never live another day of freedom or carelessness.
A spark of hate burned low in his belly, but he quickly stamped it out. It took him a moment to reign in the rest of his emotions, so that when he stood and edged his front half through the entrance, there was only poorly veiled suspicion on his face.
Like the night before, he began to feel caged and agitated. The male took a half-step back the way he'd come, uncertainty replacing suspicion as his dominant emotion.
"Maybe I better wait 'til you need a break," he said softly, though his eyes darted longingly toward the three cubs nestled against their mother.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 12, 2017
I won't beg you.
I could use the help, she sighed. One meant a gift, two meant a blessing, and three meant stress eating. Khoe thought about how she never gave her mother enough credit for the back to back litters she raised. There was never a quiet moment in the whelping dens scattered throughout their corner; compared to the way she and her sisters acted, this felt like a breeze.
She continued licking blindly at Mirza's tiny body, her gaze focused on her son and nothing but.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 12, 2017
It was a good thing Khoe wasn't paying attention to Grayday; he was watching her as if she was something that might turn and eat him at any moment, still wavering between fight and flight. But, eventually, he seemed to grasp the Olive branch she was extending, and settled near enough to reach out and pull both girls against his chest. For a moment, he simply cuddled them, a wide smile breaking the stone mask over his face at the sound of Easy's indignant squawk.
"Okay, my little princesses," he said in a low voice, knowing they couldn't hear him, but that they would certainly feel the rumble in his chest. "You first, huh Shara?" Without waiting for a response, he nudged Easy onto her back and washed her belly first, knowing that would calm her down more quickly. Quietly, he hummed a bit of an old song, hoping the vibrations would help soothe Lavender while she waited.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 12, 2017
Khoe looked on in silence, admiring the patience and diligence he used while completing such a domestic task. Back when she had her first husband, he wouldn't have even entered the den this early, let alone touch the pups within it. But then, she had many sisterwives so she never needed his help much anyway.
Things were different here; Grayday was all the help she had, aside from the occasional sitting from Auntie Spot.
You're better at baths than I am, she said in a last ditch attempt to lighten the mood. Her green eyes flickered up to his as she bit the inside of her cheek.
They always move too much for me.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 12, 2017
Day finished up with Easy and tucked her deep into the fur of his chest. He settled Lavender over a forepaw and began to wash her, shooting Khoe a small, slightly confused smile over the girl's head. What was he supposed to say to that? Were they just... done? Would there be no follow-up, no resolution to their argument? Were they not going to talk about the terrible, hurtful things that'd been said?
"Well, that's 'cause you're tiny," he replied at length, remembering that he'd been spoken to. "I just muscle them into submission with my superior strength."
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 13, 2017
Khoe snorted and smiled, though only for a second. She was still angry. Or maybe not angry, but a little upset. Well, okay, not upset, but hurt? No, that wasn't it...hard-headed. That's what it was.
If she didn't have her wall of an ego posted in between Grayday and herself, she might have apologized by now. She might have told him that she overreacted and that she knew what it felt like to lose someone the way that he'd lost Adeline. She probably would have thought about telling him just how much she appreciated everything that he did for his small, albeit impossible family. But then again, that wouldn't have made for a very good plot, would it?
Once she'd finished the intricate task of wiping Mirza clean and encouraging him to make waste, she moved him back to the teat nearest to her heart and allowed him to feed again.
I, um —, Khoe began to try breaking the silence. When she found herself at a complete loss for words, she stopped and turned her head away to look out at the world around them.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 13, 2017
Clearly, all was not forgotten. Grayday was relieved that she wasn't trying to sweep it all under the rug, though he didn't let that show on his face. He waited a beat after her stunted attempt at words, still wondering himself what needed to be said. Apologies, doubtlessly, but... But did he have anything to apologize for? Hadn't he apologized enough last night? Had he apologized at all?
Grayday thought back, but the whole conversation had gone by in a quick flash-flash-flash of hurt and confusion. He'd raised his voice, he knew. What had he said to her, in his anger?
"I'm sorry I raised my voice," he said after a moment. "It doesn't matter what we're feeling; yelling is never the answer. I shouldn't have done that."
It rankled his pride to admit to this when he still felt her guilt was greater than his own, but he knew that her faults did not cancel out his own. Even if they did, he could humble himself long enough to get this behind them.
"Is there anything else I need to apologize for?" He added, his voice gentle and sincere. He didn't want her to think he was mocking her (as she had done to him) - he just wasn't sure what had escalated their arugment, and wanted to make all amends on his side before allowing her to do the same. He only wanted to have this conversation once.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 13, 2017
Khoe looked up at Grayday with glossy eyes and a lumpy throat. He'd initiated it, which meant that in a way she'd won. But if she'd been the victor, then why did it seem like she was still in last place?
I'm sorry, too, she sighed,
We both said some things we didn't need to say. I was just...I don't know.She looked back to her mate and then away again while she continued to think.
I was hurt. I'm still hurt, but I'm trying to understand, too.
Is there anything else I need to apologize for?
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 13, 2017
Grayday thought for a moment, but eventually, shook his head. He didn't need to hear her tell him she was sorry. What did he stand to gain from that? "You don't need to apologize to me," he told her, finishing Arushi's bath and tucking her next to her sister. Both girls were quiet, for now. Grayday thought carefully over his next words.
"I want us to make each other a promise - that whatever we feel towards each other, we'll always put the kids first. Their needs, their feelings, and their safety - " But that wasn't enough. Last night, Khoe had known their daughter was fine, but had held the information over his head. "And I need you to be able to talk to me about them, no matter what's going on between us. Hell, I hope it never comes to that. I want us to be happy for a long time. But if you're mad at me - if we can't even look at each other without being angry - we still need to be able to sit down and talk about these kids."
He looked down at the girls, and then across at Dauntless before fixing his stare at Khoe's face. "This is our second chance. The chance to do things right. Can we promise each other that they'll always come first?"
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 14, 2017
Khoe took a deep breath and realized that no matter how hard it was to admit it, Grayday was right. They had three little ones to take care of; their relationship meant something a lot more than frisky admiration. They had to work on being a family, or whatever that entailed.
You're right, she sighed,
That was wrong of me.
For a moment, she tried her hardest to avoid Grayday's gaze as a low wave of shame washed over her. Eventually, she was able to peer over at him and whisper a weak,
I promise.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 14, 2017
Grayday let out a soft breath of relief, glad that this had not escalated into another argument. Having procured Khoe's promise to focus on their children, Day made another promise to himself - that would not hold last night's argument against his mate, or bring it up again. "What's done is done," his father would say. Day forgave her.
"I promise, too," said Grayday, trying to catch Khoe's gaze so that she'd see that he was smiling at her. "But it looks like these three are all taken care of, for now. Is there anything I can do that'll make you feel better?"
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 14, 2017
There was nothing she could do to help the cheesy grin spreading wildly across her maw.
Well, she cooed, standing to lift Mirza and move him over to where his sisters lay. She squinted her eyes and puckered her lips in a show of mock seduction, then laughed as she stuck her nuzzle into Grayday's thick scruff.
There is one thing.She laid her tiny body down in front of him and looked back over her shoulder with beaming jades,
Can you back-walk?
It was something that she'd seen her father do for her mother many a times, and sometimes when he felt particularly playful, something he would do for his daughters as well. It was soothing when done correctly and hilarious when done wrong.
Just take your front paws and, you know, back walk.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 16, 2017
Grayday stood when she did, ready to do the woman's bidding. He listened with bright attentiveness until she laid down, and then... he was lost. "Back-walk?" he repeated, thinking rather fleetingly of the time he'd taught Nikai to walk on his hind legs. That didn't seem to be what Khoe wanted.
He took a half-step toward her, not quite sure he understood.
"You want me to... step on you?" he guessed, lifting one paw only to hesitate before he could place it on her back.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 16, 2017
Khoe sighed and lifted herself up onto her forepaws to look back at Grayday.
Well not if you're going to make it sound weird.She rolled her eyes and scoffed before plopping back down and sighing with intense exaggeration. It was something that Khoe was a pro at; using her emotions to get the better of others. What one person might have called manipulation, she called using one's assets.
Puh-lease.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 16, 2017
Grayday sat back, unsure what to do. Her words said one thing, her body another - and he wasn't sure what any of it met. She was like a stranger to him, all of the sudden. A stranger he wasn't sure he wanted his children to be around, nevermind being raised by her. But she was there mother, and Grayday didn't know what there was to be done.
"I've never heard of that before," he said, still not quite sure what she wanted from him. Maybe she just wanted a chance to be angry again. "Did you still want me to try it?"
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 17, 2017
It's easy, Khoe cooed, seeing the slight change in Grayday's expression,
You just step, like this.She stood and turned so that she was facing him, then made her best attempt at reaching to gently step along his spine.
See? Simple.Then again, Khoe was a lot smaller than Grayday, and she had a lot more sensitive parts than he did, provided she was still healing. She looked back at him with pleading eyes, almost begging him to Just do it! so she could avoid anymore irritation between them.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Grayday Sr. - July 17, 2017
Grayday didn't speak any further on the subject, but when Khoe laid down once more, he moved forward and attempted to do as she asked. The male tried to imagine where his own aches and pains were, and pressed as gently as he dared on the thin stretch of her back. His paws seemed to engulf her, pale silver-blue over deep indigo-black. She seemed very small underneath him, though her presence seemed to take up more space than he did, these days.
"This okay?" he asked her, still testing how much pressure she actually wanted.
RE: and maybe i talk too much but there's so much to say - Bhediya - July 17, 2017
Perfect.
It only took a moment for Khoe to slip into a light slumber, snores echoing from her snout with each heavy breath.