Enough time had passed that Hemlock no longer felt the raw sense of loss of Ran, brief as her time in Hemlock's care had been. It was still a loss and she had suffered only for the grief to sputter into another swing of emotions as her heat hit her. That had ended, finally, thankfully as though she had not been upset at spending her time wound up in Lotte and Arturo's embrace she had felt so consumed by it all she could think of nothing else. The new, real fear was that Sirius had abandoned her in this time because of something - jealousy, perhaps, or maybe just a fear that things were changing and Hemlock did not know how to address it. 

Early in the morning when the word was still trapped in the murky distant light Hemlock had tracked one of @Arturo's trails, hoping to talk to him. She had debated the past few mornings as her stomach had soured from random moments and smells seemed more intense. Did she even want to bring this to him now, when she'd failed three children - Roarke, Ran, and Sirius? Maybe he would regret everything - regret her. A swell of emotion shook her and she let out a pained, gasping sound. Maybe she would circle back, abandon her plan. She didn't want to burden Arturo with this newest fiasco - not when so much more was happening in their Strath. 

 

It is hard to be near him for a moment and Hemlock realizes with a start that she is worried for upsetting him. Surely Arturo has come to the same conclusion that she has, that she has brought some sort of curse down on their home - that she isn't worthy of the gifts given to her in the form of his and Lotte's affections nor their children. Still, he speaks her name and she slips closer, pressing her small frame against his and nuzzling beneath his chin. "Arturo," She does not blurt out her concerns, managing to still her tongue for a moment even if every second seems stolen somehow. 

She wished again for Lotte's way with words, to weave the stories the way she wanted, to offer up the words so smoothly as her darker beloved did. But she could only look up at him, reading his face and those brilliant eyes and wishing she was more - so much more for all of them. "It is too early for this." For the look of him, as if a million things struggle to push forth and take hold of him, for the way she feels and how it swallows her thoughts - two sides to a similar coin, she cannot imagine how he in turn thinks the same thoughts she does right then. "The herds will be moving again soon - starting to bulk up for winter."  With any luck it would be far better than the past winter for all of them, and a scar on her side twitched as if to agree just at the thought. They should be able to store a great deal before winter, even if the children would be born before the temperatures truly dipped. 

Oh - she hadn't meant that and this wasn't how she'd wanted to tell him. The nagging feeling that was growing stronger and stronger promised that yes, she was most likely carrying his young but she had meant the more sour look to his face, the way that they were both looking. Hemlock's ears folded back for a moment in nervousness but she decided to lift herself up, to try and make this a better moment now that the cat was out of the bag. "I have suspicions, yes," She promised, and she knew that once she had more solid confirmations she would come straight to him. "I had actually meant that look on your face." She teased with a small smile. "This will be our first winter here - and I was thinking it is a perfect time to start planning our moves." Not only with his older brood coming into a proper age to join larger hunts but before her own was there, taking up her time and energy and any precious resources they had. If they had planned better or had more control, or if the heavens themselves had moved somehow to make the time different, she and Lotte could have whelped closer together but it was beyond their control. 

The healer allowed him to survey her; wondering if he had done the same with Lotte when her tundarian had boasted her own pregnancy. Who knew better than Arturo, after all, who knew her longest in the lands now? Without Palisander the gangster would be the first to recognize a change in her - though perhaps Lotte's eyes had been more keenly on her. Still, she closes her eyes to his gentle touch, fur prickling a bit over her muscles. It is all her own motion, of course, but still, she can imagine the feeling of kicks soon to follow. Her ears shift towards him as he makes his heartfelt statement; of wanting these children to not be outsiders to his family, to his name, and Hemlock turns to face him with a gentle smile on her face. Despite his harsh exterior Arturo Fearghal is a gentle man under the right circumstances, and when it came to children, he was sweet. "Of course they will know their siblings, we are not -" But any true response is clipped before she can make it by the power of the sentiment in his next words. 

When it had come to her marriage before, she and Palisander had not broached such a serious subject. They had held the title of mates before any other had in the Ravensblood but it had come with a courtship and it's own unique tests. This was unexpected. Surely Arturo had noticed the way that Hemlock felt, not only to Lotte (the world probably could read that, despite Hemlock's best efforts otherwise), but to himself. Her loyalty had always been his but it had become so much more than loyalty after all. "I...are you sure? You and Lotte?" A near stammered response, but the pounding of her heart drowned out all other concepts or emotions - she wanted it, wanted them and the promise of their family, but it was such a powerful concept that she still questioned if she was even worthy of them. 

Hemlock might have reached for him to soothe that slight sting; she had wanted to tell him, after all, but maybe he recognized her even in those early stages. He had many litters, after all, this was not the first time. Hopefully she could provide him more information soon - a flurry of kicks or the sweet swell of her body. Something real and tangible, more than her thoughts. "I do not think it will be long before we know for certain." Hemlock promised, a little smile curling along her face as she looked up to him. 

His teasing smile brings another from her, despite the stammering cadence of her heart. This is what she has yearned for and surely Lotte has been grooming her for - days spent together beneath the sun has only ignited her desires further for the brilliant bard and her gangster husband. "Do you know how long I have wanted this?" She asked as she slowly wound herself into his embrace again, snout pressed against his own and chest to chest so that he might feel the volley and power of her emotions. "You and Lotte, our family,"  She hadn't been so bold with him, but without reason to hide, all she wanted to do was assure him of her feelings and the depth of them. 

 

Part of her worries over not having Lotte present. It seems that their trinity is built strongly not only in each other but in the powerful support that they give one another. She has seen some of the best moments and the worst moments in each of them, and they in turn her, and it is from this powerful respect that love has truly blossomed. Hemlock grew quiet as she basked in Arturo's affections, the way his tongue steals across her fur as he teases along her nape brings a crooning sound from her lips. She teased a lock of his fur from near his ear, giving a little hum as he speaks the words with equal fervor. "Ours - our children, our pack," She was not needing to claim Teaghlaigh, it was something she had built up from the moment she had pledged herself. She could never get the months she'd spent away back, and that hurt her, truthfully. But she could not fix that now, instead, she could only push forward. 

"They will carry both our names proudly," Because she would not reject her own heritage, and surely her children would be raised with the same integrity that both the Fearghal and Kali lines were known for. She teased her way to his skin, tongue dragging slowly as she worked along his snout and down his neck. He had such a unique way to him, and perhaps it was his mixed heritage, perhaps it was just him - but Hemlock couldn't get enough. "You have always meant so much to me, Arturo." Hemlock promised with a soft breath against his skin. She refused to pull away enough to even look him in the eyes to tell him so. Like with Lotte, she was almost bashful in the power of her emotions.