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+--- Thread: Dragoncrest Cliffs you taught me the courage of stars (/showthread.php?tid=22835)
you taught me the courage of stars - RIP Blodreina - August 10, 2017
Fleimkepa. Keeper of the flame. The breath that draws in betwixt Eske’s lips is ragged and she nearly chokes upon it as her throat swells with emotions; and not a single one of them good. The occasion in which she has become Fleimkepa is far from joyous, after all. Though she does not wish to part from her Commander’s side she is trusted to take care of the things that Heda is too indisposed to do. She agreed because she does not want to fail Thuringwethil but the truth is that Eske is perplexed as to why it is her. Why would Dio, who is already a leader, not be chosen to act in Heda’s place instead? And then there was the illness itself; how bad it must truly be! Especially for Heda to promote a keeper of the flame to act in her stead until she recovers. And what kind of illness plagues her? Eske does not think it is contagious because she is almost a constant in Heda’s presence and she is fine. Worried, of course, but otherwise completely healthy. Neither are any of her and Wildfire’s children ill; but Eske does not try to understand the illness or it’s cause if only because it is not anything she truly understands. She is no medicine woman, not like Portia.
Her patrol is agonizing because she wants to be by her Commander’s side — despite that the illness is not something Eske can protect her from — thinking that as her Cheka that’s where she needs to be. Yet, she made a promise when she agreed to temporarily step up and she will fulfill Heda’s duties with nothing short of a hundred and ten percent. If the occasion were less bleak and worrisome Eske might’ve laughed at the irony: that she now bears the title that her sister had coveted; that Freyja had been groomed for. Thoughts of Freyja, however, were unwelcome and she turned Eske tucked them aside, steeling her shoulders as she continued along the borders.
Her patrol is agonizing because she wants to be by her Commander’s side — despite that the illness is not something Eske can protect her from — thinking that as her Cheka that’s where she needs to be. Yet, she made a promise when she agreed to temporarily step up and she will fulfill Heda’s duties with nothing short of a hundred and ten percent. If the occasion were less bleak and worrisome Eske might’ve laughed at the irony: that she now bears the title that her sister had coveted; that Freyja had been groomed for. Thoughts of Freyja, however, were unwelcome and she turned Eske tucked them aside, steeling her shoulders as she continued along the borders.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - Shalon - August 10, 2017
thought id reintroduce myself to Eske hehe!
Shalon was still wary of the place she would now call home. It was an odd conundrum, it had been long time since she had felt safe anywhere enough to call home. Yet the fae had no real sense of security save for the word of Heda, she had trusted leaders before and they had abandoned her, left her with responsibilities she had not been ready for. She walked along the borders, learning the territory as though she had always known it. At least that was the idea she had laid out in her mind as she drifted from the interior of the territory. In reality Shalon wasn't sure how to feel of who to trust. She figured the rest of the pack felt the same of her. Shalon wasn't sure how to integrate herself, having never been introduced to an established pack.
Shalon knew little of the people she now wished to a part of, it seemed she needed to find someone who could teach her their way. Correction, her, ways. Sighing she, she took a deep breath before settling her mind and returning to the task at paw. Learning the lay of the land. As she looked about her silver gaze found that of the woman Eske. Shalon smiled slightly to herself, glad to see that she had indeed recognized the scent upon the woman as one of Drageda. Shalon approached slowly, once in ear shot the multi-hued woman greeted the other woman more respectfully than their last meeting. "Eske. It is good to see you once more." Shalon smiled, and cleared her throat, "No hard feelings from our previous encounter, I hope." The older woman wouldn't apologize for the offstandish behaviour, and didn't expect and apology in return. She only hoped that her new packmate wouldn't hold it against her.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - RIP Blodreina - August 11, 2017
thank you for joining! ♥
Eske does not think anything about this will be easy, because she was never groomed for this. She wasn’t Freyja. She has no eloquence with words nor a diplomatic disposition … but she assures herself that it’s only temporary. That Heda will recover in time and will resume her mantle once more but in the meantime it falls to Eske to make sure that in the meantime she tries to act as Heda would and keeps the worry from Thuringwethil’s shoulders. She does not need to worry while she is so ill, nor while she recovers. Steps falter for a moment as a figure approaches her, and it is little more than base instinct that causes her hackles to bristle along her spine for a moment before sea blue-green gaze realizes the figure is familiar, as is her scent taken in as Eske sniffs the air. Her hackles smooth back down, as realization truly sinks in. They’d met before, once. After the storm when she and Arlo ventured out to ensure that the Nereides were truly gone as was claimed.
Eske had been standoffish to the woman at the time: a necessary evil, she believes ( but in truth Eske is standoffish to anyone she doesn’t know ) and not one that Eske is willing to apologize for; regardless that is in the past and it appears as if Shalon is now apart of Drageda. It is rare, the Drakru thinks, that two wolves are offered a second chance to start again. Maybe not to erase first impressions — though Shalon had been cooperative and in base truth Eske holds nothing against her — but to be able to look past them and form new opinions. “Shalon,” The Fleimkepa returns in greeting, salmon pink tongue drawing across her jowls. “No,” Eske responds, seeking to assure Shalon that there are no hard feelings on her end. “We were both doing what we needed to do at the time.” And that was that.
“How are you settling into Drageda?” Eske inquires, her curiosity genuine as she invites the older woman to join her on her patrol with a slight inclination of her head in invitation.
Eske had been standoffish to the woman at the time: a necessary evil, she believes ( but in truth Eske is standoffish to anyone she doesn’t know ) and not one that Eske is willing to apologize for; regardless that is in the past and it appears as if Shalon is now apart of Drageda. It is rare, the Drakru thinks, that two wolves are offered a second chance to start again. Maybe not to erase first impressions — though Shalon had been cooperative and in base truth Eske holds nothing against her — but to be able to look past them and form new opinions. “Shalon,” The Fleimkepa returns in greeting, salmon pink tongue drawing across her jowls. “No,” Eske responds, seeking to assure Shalon that there are no hard feelings on her end. “We were both doing what we needed to do at the time.” And that was that.
“How are you settling into Drageda?” Eske inquires, her curiosity genuine as she invites the older woman to join her on her patrol with a slight inclination of her head in invitation.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - Shalon - August 11, 2017
Shalon smiled as the woman returned her own sentiments, glad for the chance to start again. The situations had been different at the time of their first meeting, and so, Shalon supposed they would just have to meet again as it were.
Settling in. Her smile faltered slightly, as she joined Eske on her patrol,"I suppose you could say to going as well as I had expected." Shalon had hoped to speak with Thuringwethil, finding it necessary to learn more of the interesting woman. "I was hoping to speak with Thuringwethil, and yet I have not seen her." The news of her illness was not something that had been divulged to Shalon. She was new, and Shalon was still learning their ways, she was hoping someone could help her understand the ways of this pack. "I'm afraid that I am lost in the culture of this clan. I was hoping someone might enlighten me." This was not her reason to seek out the Heda, but it would suffice as a reasonable reason to seek Thuringwethil's audience.
Shalon is new.... but she is a Counselor tooo.... sounds like Eske might need one lol ?
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - RIP Blodreina - August 11, 2017
Eske takes Shalon’s smile to mean that they are of a similar mind when it comes to their previous encounter with one another and notes, from the corner of her eye when she inquires about how the older woman is settling in and how her smile falters. She replies, honestly, and Eske wonders if what she truly means is: not as well as she could be. Eske doesn’t quite understand the struggle that outsiders face when seeking to incorporate themselves into the culture because she had the advantage of being born to it. She couldn’t fully claim that she knew nothing else because that wasn’t true: Gyda stayed true to who she was, kept her viking culture even when a very different one ended up taking over Sleeping Dragon (now Drageda) in the end; but while this was not the only culture that Eske was exposed to it was the one that integrating herself into was as effortless as breathing. She was born to be Drakru — it’s her lifeblood.
Eske’s lips pull into a terse line and her shoulders stiffen as Shalon mentions Heda and brings to attention the fact that she hadn’t seen The Commander yet. Eske thinks that perhaps Shalon had stepped out of the territory when the howl had went up: that Eske was acting in Heda’s stead. “Heda has fallen very ill,” It hurts her to say it. She does not want to think about it, does not want to think about how she is useless to Thuringwethil. She is her Cheka and yet the illness that plagues her is not anything Eske can fight for her; and it’s a horrible feeling. “I have been temporarily promoted to Fleimkepa to act in her stead until she recovers.” Eske informs Shalon, pleasantly surprised that her voice is steady, calm and even as she speaks the words though the mere thought had choked her up mere minutes ago. They were raw and hurt in her chest to speak them but she has duties to perform and she has to be strong while their Commander needs her.
“I will happily answer any questions you have.” Eske offers. She isn’t even sure where to begin and thus figures that answering Shalon’s questions might be a good place to start.
Eske’s lips pull into a terse line and her shoulders stiffen as Shalon mentions Heda and brings to attention the fact that she hadn’t seen The Commander yet. Eske thinks that perhaps Shalon had stepped out of the territory when the howl had went up: that Eske was acting in Heda’s stead. “Heda has fallen very ill,” It hurts her to say it. She does not want to think about it, does not want to think about how she is useless to Thuringwethil. She is her Cheka and yet the illness that plagues her is not anything Eske can fight for her; and it’s a horrible feeling. “I have been temporarily promoted to Fleimkepa to act in her stead until she recovers.” Eske informs Shalon, pleasantly surprised that her voice is steady, calm and even as she speaks the words though the mere thought had choked her up mere minutes ago. They were raw and hurt in her chest to speak them but she has duties to perform and she has to be strong while their Commander needs her.
“I will happily answer any questions you have.” Eske offers. She isn’t even sure where to begin and thus figures that answering Shalon’s questions might be a good place to start.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - Shalon - August 11, 2017
Shalon blinked once, and then twice, tilting her head to the side. Concern slowly took shape as she thought over the temporary Fleimkepa's words. Ill. Thuringwethil was ill. Shalon didn't know the woman particularily well, however the Comander had always been curteous, and had accepted the nomad into her pack. She was sadened by the news, "Is their any news on when she might recover?" When Shalon stressed, not if. She would recover, Shalon didn't believe that a strong leader such as Heda would give into an illness, no matter how severe. "I am sure that Heda is thankful to have such a devoted follower, who can be trusted to take care of the pack in her adsence, and put aside her own emotions to get the job done." Shalon assumed that Fleimkepa was a higher rank than Eske had had before, considering she had mentioned the temporary situation. She was also sure that Eske must be close with Thuringwethil in order for her to relinquish her control of the pack, which also must mean that Eske would be worried about the Comander. Shalon could pick up the similarities with herself and Aspen, or atleast what her relationship had once been. "I will make note to ask the stars for Thuringwethil's good health." Her own personal beliefs showing through in her statement, her trust in the wisdom of the stars an always present part of Shalon's personality.
Shalon was glad that the woman was also willing to aide her with understanding the ways of the pack. "To be honest with you Eske, if I may call you that? Let's start at the beginning I suppose. What is a Fleimkepa? I know that Heda is translated into Comander, and the Comander has supreme authority. This I have gathered through observation. However I am throughly lost with the rest of the hierarchy in your family." Shalon smiled sheepishly, it had been a long time since she had needed lessons in anything. Although she was always glad to learn more, always the inquisitive type.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - RIP Blodreina - August 12, 2017
Shalon gives a nice speech and Eske wonders if that was why Heda had risen her temporarily to Fleimkepa: because she is loyal but more importantly because she is trusted and it only causes a second swell of emotion to lodge itself in Eske’s throat. She wants to be honest: that she is no leader, that she was not groomed for it. She is born and groomed for war, not diplomacy; but to speak this out loud — to even think it — feels like blasphemy. Eske could handle it. It’s only temporary, after all, because Thur would recover…because she had to. Eske had always thought of Heda as someone that was beyond death: a solid and immovable presence not only in Drageda but in the vast geda’s spread throughout the world beyond the Teekons. Of course, Eske knows that not even the Commanders are above death but in a way they are immortal in their own way. “She’ll pull through,” Eske murmurs, giving a soft nod of appreciation for Shalon’s words of asking the stars for Heda’s recovery ( though Eske wonders what the stars are meant to do but out of respect does not bring it to question ).
Eske offers Shalon a firm nod to affirm that Shalon can call her ‘Eske’ seconds before she pauses to refresh the border where it has staled in a spot before she catches up with the older woman and they continue to patrol. “Fleimkepa translates to flame keeper in the common tongue. It’s another word for attendant.” Eske explains giving a slight pause. “under normal circumstances it is a leader position that can only be held by someone who holds the counselor trade and advisor specialty or chronicler and historian specialty.” Her salmon pink tongue draws across her lips. “Outside of this temporary rank I am Cheka, Heda’s bodyguard.” A warrior, not a leader. She thinks about adding more but pauses because she does not wish to get too off track with what Shalon was seeking to understand. “beneath Heda and Fleimkepa is Wocha: the leader rank of a mercenary and it’s specialties. It is currently held by Dio; and beneath them is Bandrona the leader rank of a scout with the ambassador specialty.” Of course, Heda chose those who led alongside her but those were the bases of considerations for the leadership tier.
It is here Eske pauses, allowing Shalon time to process that information dump and ask any questions she may have had from what information Eske provided her.
Eske offers Shalon a firm nod to affirm that Shalon can call her ‘Eske’ seconds before she pauses to refresh the border where it has staled in a spot before she catches up with the older woman and they continue to patrol. “Fleimkepa translates to flame keeper in the common tongue. It’s another word for attendant.” Eske explains giving a slight pause. “under normal circumstances it is a leader position that can only be held by someone who holds the counselor trade and advisor specialty or chronicler and historian specialty.” Her salmon pink tongue draws across her lips. “Outside of this temporary rank I am Cheka, Heda’s bodyguard.” A warrior, not a leader. She thinks about adding more but pauses because she does not wish to get too off track with what Shalon was seeking to understand. “beneath Heda and Fleimkepa is Wocha: the leader rank of a mercenary and it’s specialties. It is currently held by Dio; and beneath them is Bandrona the leader rank of a scout with the ambassador specialty.” Of course, Heda chose those who led alongside her but those were the bases of considerations for the leadership tier.
It is here Eske pauses, allowing Shalon time to process that information dump and ask any questions she may have had from what information Eske provided her.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - Shalon - August 12, 2017
She couldn't see the dilemma that waged within the younger woman. The conflict between the desire to be a good leader, and true to ones self. For all Shalon could tell, Eske was being an admirable leader, who had been thrown into an unforseen circumstance. She nodded as Eske confirmed that Thuringwethil would pull through, agreeing with the statement and taking it as fact.
Shalon listened closely as the woman spoke of the ranking system in place. Interested in the intracacies, and detail in the hiearchy. Nodding along and absorbing everything into memory. Although an interesting question arose as the woman spoke of her permanent rank, that of the Cheka. Which Shalon was slowly understanding that Eske might be more destraught over Heda's illness then she was letting one. However the question that arose was not about Eske's relation to Thuringwethil, but rather it was about the Wocha Dio. "So you were temporarily promoted to Fleimkepa over the Wocha? Why would Heda not intrust the pack to the Wocha?" Shalon asked innocently, not meaning to question the way in which things had turned out, "Not to question your abilities Eske, for I am starting to see that you will make a fine leader, but I would have thought the former would have been the easiest course of action. I merely wish to understand."
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - RIP Blodreina - August 14, 2017
i figure might as well make this a counselor thread for you. (also, eske has a lot of suppressed issues LMAO) ;P
It is all so new to her and she tells herself it is natural for her to be worried about if she can do a good job; for it is not quite insecurity ( for Eske has always been confident ) so much as it is that she was never meant to be a leader, regardless of how temporary it was. She was not trained for it, not groomed. She was a born valkyrja — as her mother before her. Shalon’s question has Eske’s lips pulling terse as she contemplates it. “I don’t know,” Eske admits, inhaling deeply and letting it out. She can see how it doesn’t exactly make sense. “It didn’t seem like an important thing to ask her.” By all account Dio acting in Thuringwethil’s stead would have made more sense …from what Eske could see. Regardless, she did not question the Commander’s decision. There was a reason for it, whatever that reason may be. “That is a question for when she is better.” The ice cold knot of fear for her Commander in Eske’s stomach only tightens but she tells herself that it is just an illness and that the Commander is strong. She will win her fight. She has to.
There is a soft chuckle from the warrior’s lips of incredulity when Shalon compliments her leading ability. Definitely not words that Eske ever thought she would hear, if only because leading had been Freyja’s thing; the golden child. Eske was just the feral child with aggression issues; and in many ways, Eske had hated Freyja for that. For being perfect. Now Eske hated her for many different reasons but she knew that without that drive, without that resentment and the rivalry that Eske would not have came as far as she had. She was the youngest to have earned the rank of Cheka that she was aware of, and before Heda fell ill she was close to Wanlida. “Those are words I never thought I’d hear,” The Drakru admits wryly. “I had a sister once, Freyja; when we were growing up she’d been groomed for Fleimkepa… but she threw everything away for an outsider boy. Turned her back on us and betrayed us.” Whether the betrayal part was strictly true or not Eske wasn’t sure but it was how she took Freyja’s leaving: as betrayal and it was not anything Eske could never forget or forgive. “It’s a bit ironic for me to hold the rank she coveted, regardless of how temporary.” Eske admits with a bitter laugh.
She isn’t sure why she is confiding this in Shalon — a woman she barely knows. There is just …something she feels is trustworthy about her despite that they barely know one another ( a far cry from the hostility Eske showed during their first meeting ).
There is a soft chuckle from the warrior’s lips of incredulity when Shalon compliments her leading ability. Definitely not words that Eske ever thought she would hear, if only because leading had been Freyja’s thing; the golden child. Eske was just the feral child with aggression issues; and in many ways, Eske had hated Freyja for that. For being perfect. Now Eske hated her for many different reasons but she knew that without that drive, without that resentment and the rivalry that Eske would not have came as far as she had. She was the youngest to have earned the rank of Cheka that she was aware of, and before Heda fell ill she was close to Wanlida. “Those are words I never thought I’d hear,” The Drakru admits wryly. “I had a sister once, Freyja; when we were growing up she’d been groomed for Fleimkepa… but she threw everything away for an outsider boy. Turned her back on us and betrayed us.” Whether the betrayal part was strictly true or not Eske wasn’t sure but it was how she took Freyja’s leaving: as betrayal and it was not anything Eske could never forget or forgive. “It’s a bit ironic for me to hold the rank she coveted, regardless of how temporary.” Eske admits with a bitter laugh.
She isn’t sure why she is confiding this in Shalon — a woman she barely knows. There is just …something she feels is trustworthy about her despite that they barely know one another ( a far cry from the hostility Eske showed during their first meeting ).
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - Shalon - August 14, 2017
lol! welllllll throw them at me whenever you want! I have specialties to complete!! hehe
Shalon nodded, understanding, you don't question the decisions of your leaders unless the ruling is completely unfounded. She understood that, and yes a better question for the end of the situation. What followed was a complete surprise to the new woman. Eske divulging her past, and confiding in Shalon, was something unexpected. However, she didn't let her surprise show, for surely if the woman was opening up to Shalon it must mean she had few people left to turn to. She listened silently, and let the words sink in. After Eske finished her statement Shalon remained silent for that much longer, taking her time to understand.
"Does her past scare you?" Shalon asked softly, "You believe that you are not a fit leader, perhaps you are afraid of history repeating itself. The fact that she left, means that she was groomed for a position she could never be ready for. Her betrayl was pehaps her last act of rebellion." Shalon sighed, "By not having the pressure of expectation you have grown into a woman, I imagine you sister could never be." Shalon looked over her shoulder at Eske, "You might feel unprepared for such jump, yet I believe that the Commander picked the right person for the job. I would assume that you being her bodyguard mean she knows you better than most. Perhaps if you try to believe in yourself the way Thuringwethil believes in you?" She asked with a small smile on her lips, "I can see a strength in you, a strength of leadership, wether you like it or not you are Fleimkepa and I think you should trust your instincts. You don't need to be school in languages and diplomacy to make a good leader, you have people to do that for you," She laughed slightly, "a good leader is one that people will follow and trust to do what is right by them. And believe it or not, I trust you to do that." Shalon mentally shrugged, unsure if that was what the woman needed as a pick me up. She could see the festering issue of her sister, and yet Shalon believes that Eske's less stessful upbringing has pushed her to be the perfect leader. The constant competition to be better than her sister, has made her better than her sister could ever be. At least that what Shalon could see.
She watched the woman as her words hung in the air.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - RIP Blodreina - August 14, 2017
sorry for the novel i wrote you, lmao.
“No. I am not Freyja. I am nothing like her. Her choices were her own and as much as I hate her I hope that it…that he was worth it. Worth betraying those who taught her, worth losing Drageda, worth losing me.” Freyja’s choices hurt Eske …because they had just started to get along. To let their rivalry draw them closer instead of pushing them away until Seff lured her away from her family. Eske’s brow furrows and her salmon pink tongue drawing across her lips. “I will never leave Heda or Drageda. I know where my loyalties lie.” It had meant she’d had to stay goodbye to her parents and live with the knowledge that it was likely she would never see them again. She is the only child of Gyda and Gavriel that stayed. Though Shalon had gotten the first half of her assessment wrong Eske nevertheless gives the older woman her rapt attention when she speaks wondering if her words are true. Does she know Heda better than most? Eske doubts it. “Not really. I think that my mother, perhaps, knew her best or Heda’s own mate Wildfire, even.” As far as Eske could remember, they hardly ever spoke of anything personal. Thuringwethil has been a constant presence in her life: someone that Eske admires but the truth is that when it comes down to it Eske thinks that she barely knows her Commander at all.
“It’s not that I doubt myself it’s just I …—” Eske pauses as she struggles to look for a word to explain what she feels. If she thought she couldn’t do it she wouldn’t have agreed. “I guess I feel out of my element, is all. I know how to fight. I know how to kill and I’m good at it. I guess …it never occurred to me that I could be good at anything else.” It doesn’t exactly do it justice but it’s the best Eske can phrase her conflict; but also wondering if a good portion of her internal hurricane comes from the helplessness she feels in regards to Heda coupled with her unbridled worry for the Commander. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter much because this is all temporary.” Meaning: she cannot begin to explain what she feels if it is not hostility or aggression and is growing frustrated at not being able to explain herself properly. “Thank you.” Eske says when Shalon admits to putting trust in her abilities to lead and brings to the Drakru’s attention that it might have nothing to do with being groomed to lead but that it comes naturally to her. Something she would have never considered on her own.
While Eske feels important being trusted by her Commander and in all actuality, doesn’t mind being a leader ( Eske’s never been one to hide from responsibility and likes to stay busy …and being a leader certainly keeps her on the move ) she also couldn’t wait until Heda recovered and she went back to being Cheka ( or Wanlida even if she could prove she was skilled enough to hold the title ). “I think,” Eske begins, suddenly, dredging the topic back up as they walk, her frown increasing as she mulls it over, ears lowering against her skull. “I feel like I don’t deserve it. It’s not my accomplishment. It only happened because the Commander is severely ill and I don’t have the correct trades or specialties for it. Beyond that it’s as you pointed out: it doesn’t make sense. By default the right to act in Heda’s stead should have fallen to Dio. So …why me?” It is a rhetorical question because Eske is aware that only the Commander herself can answer that and that to think about it, to try to puzzle it out would only make her crazy.
“I trust Heda unwaveringly. I trust her with my life and I don’t want to question her choice because I know there was a good reason for it.” The dilemma was: Eske wanted to know what that reason was and how to ask it without sounding ungrateful — because this was a chance she will never get again and she is grateful for it. Perhaps by the time Thuringwethil was well enough to hold that conversation with her, the question would no longer be important to Eske and she would, at that time, simply accept it for what it is regardless of reason or no reason.
“It’s not that I doubt myself it’s just I …—” Eske pauses as she struggles to look for a word to explain what she feels. If she thought she couldn’t do it she wouldn’t have agreed. “I guess I feel out of my element, is all. I know how to fight. I know how to kill and I’m good at it. I guess …it never occurred to me that I could be good at anything else.” It doesn’t exactly do it justice but it’s the best Eske can phrase her conflict; but also wondering if a good portion of her internal hurricane comes from the helplessness she feels in regards to Heda coupled with her unbridled worry for the Commander. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter much because this is all temporary.” Meaning: she cannot begin to explain what she feels if it is not hostility or aggression and is growing frustrated at not being able to explain herself properly. “Thank you.” Eske says when Shalon admits to putting trust in her abilities to lead and brings to the Drakru’s attention that it might have nothing to do with being groomed to lead but that it comes naturally to her. Something she would have never considered on her own.
While Eske feels important being trusted by her Commander and in all actuality, doesn’t mind being a leader ( Eske’s never been one to hide from responsibility and likes to stay busy …and being a leader certainly keeps her on the move ) she also couldn’t wait until Heda recovered and she went back to being Cheka ( or Wanlida even if she could prove she was skilled enough to hold the title ). “I think,” Eske begins, suddenly, dredging the topic back up as they walk, her frown increasing as she mulls it over, ears lowering against her skull. “I feel like I don’t deserve it. It’s not my accomplishment. It only happened because the Commander is severely ill and I don’t have the correct trades or specialties for it. Beyond that it’s as you pointed out: it doesn’t make sense. By default the right to act in Heda’s stead should have fallen to Dio. So …why me?” It is a rhetorical question because Eske is aware that only the Commander herself can answer that and that to think about it, to try to puzzle it out would only make her crazy.
“I trust Heda unwaveringly. I trust her with my life and I don’t want to question her choice because I know there was a good reason for it.” The dilemma was: Eske wanted to know what that reason was and how to ask it without sounding ungrateful — because this was a chance she will never get again and she is grateful for it. Perhaps by the time Thuringwethil was well enough to hold that conversation with her, the question would no longer be important to Eske and she would, at that time, simply accept it for what it is regardless of reason or no reason.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - Shalon - August 14, 2017
no worries I love Eske! I could read your writing all day! :) Shalon's failing here!!! she clearly needs to work on her trade hehe
And so there the root of the problem stood. Having exhausted all the possible options Shalon and Eske were left with the reason the Fleimkepa was hesitant. She understood now, Shalon nodded her head gravely thinking over the best course of action. "Perhaps the situation was not to your choosing." She began, "The timing, not what you had expected." She paused, her mouth agape, thinking of the right words to follow. "Perhaps that is why you deserve it all the more." She shrugged, thinking more to herself than to Eske. "The best leaders are often the most unwilling ones." Shalon spoke, refocusing her attention on the Fleimkepa. "I cannot presume to speak for the Commander, and so you will have to ask her once she is recovered. But perhaps this is a test so to speak. It is only temporary, and so wouldn't that make it the best trial. To see if you are indeed ready for more responsibility, testing your leadership abilities."
Shalon looked over at Eske, "Once again, I cannot speak for Heda. Perhaps it was just a delirious fluk." She laughed boldly, before composing herself. "However, I don't know why you focus on it. As you say...." Shalon dipped her head closer to the younge woman, "It is only temporary." Shalon smiled kindly, with a nod in affirmation.
"The only thing I can tell you, if you don't believe what I say, is that you will simply have to as Thuringwethil when she returns to her post. Perhaps the answer will surprise you. However, as for the current moment, I would forget about it and focus on the task of leading." Shalon felt as though she had fallen short, it wasn't her best session. In fact it was probably her worst, but she could only hope that she had helped at least a little bit.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - RIP Blodreina - August 17, 2017
thank you!! c: i wouldn't say she's failing: she helped eske uncover the real reason behind her hesitance. :P You can archive this as is, if you wanted, or if you want to post once more before archiving that's fine too. I'd love another Eske x Shalon thread in the future! ♥
Eske isn’t sure what is worse: the fact that she was given something only temporarily or that it was done under a delirious command: therefore not meant to happen at all. Right. As Shalon reiterated and Eske has been telling herself: it’s only temporary. Not worth her energy to try to deduce the reason why when it will cease to matter the moment Heda is well enough to join the world outside of her den once more; but the advice is sound despite that somewhere inside her Eske has already known it. It’s a trivial thing to ponder when that energy could be spent leading. Her time as a leader was numbered so she might as well enjoy it and make the best out of it while she could ( even if the circumstances in which she rose were unfavorable ). She offers a quiet, sage nod as they continue on the patrol having nothing more to add other than “Thanks Shalon.” and a soft smile, thinking that this second first meeting went a lot smoother and a lot better than their first.
Business was business and Eske ( something she believes she owes to Kendra’s impact on her life ) tried to be nice to new(er) members of Drageda.
Business was business and Eske ( something she believes she owes to Kendra’s impact on her life ) tried to be nice to new(er) members of Drageda.
RE: you taught me the courage of stars - Shalon - August 17, 2017
"I suppose I didn't do much." Shalon smiled, looking at Eske with her silver orbs. "I'm always happy to help, you know where to find me." Again she gave the Fleimkepa a grin. She looked up at the sky, and decided that perhaps she should introduce herself to the others in Drageda.
She came to a stop, and bid Eske fairwell, "I'll leave you to your duties Fleimkepa, good afternoon, I am glad for our reintroduction. I hope to see you once more." With this said she turned away, heading back into the heart of Drageda's territory.