Most days Catori didn't know how to handle herself. With the days since the incident, she especially didn't know what to do with Grayday. She tended to his wounds as she'd been shown, but still most of her time was spent fretting after him. She didn't want to be that person and think him incapable but she also wasn't going to just abandon him and his needs. "Come here," It was a simple request breathed out into his cheek before she nodded towards the den, careful to keep herself in his line of sight. 

She took a couple of cautious steps beyond him - and this time she hovered on the side of the missing eye. If he hit something, let it be her softer form than a tree or a rock or something. "You don't have to try and be more handsome to me, Grayday Corten." She joked lamely - but really, it had warmed her down to her core to known the depths of how far he would go for his pack and his family. She was proud of him.  

 

"Always,"  Catori answered honestly, shifting her muzzle a bit to press a few gentle kisses to his snout. "About you? No more than anything else." Catori took her time and settled with his weight against her. It didn't bother her. Not really. She was comfortable with Gray as she'd known him - and that included his murky eyes and the knowledge that eventually he might not see her anymore. Maybe he wouldn't see their children the same way, and this, it had only stolen from him faster than she'd anticipated. 

"Are you?" Catori would understand - if the tables were turned, she'd probably be scared to death honestly. But she wouldn't shy away from this, or their marriage, she wasn't the type to quick when things got hard. 

"Have you seen all you want to?" Catori asked bluntly; that nature of her was to face things head on and not run from them. She wouldn't run from this either. She could ask bluntly and she wouldn't ask and try and hide away from the feelings that came with the answers either. She let out a slow breath when Grayday touched her cheek and she smiled gently, leaning into his all too brief touch as they made their way to the little space that they'd claimed for themselves - eventually she'd take to moving the furs somewhere that frost and snow might not hit them. Eventually they'd line her whelping den, give their children things to play with too. "Once things settle some, we could make a trip of it, perhaps." If there was something he still longed to see she'd make it happen while he still could. 

"I can think of a few things you could still do," She teased warmly, fondness flooding her voice as she leaned over to preen at his neck for a moment. She wouldn't begrudge him the things he still wanted to do and she wouldn't hover and make him uncomfortable with her overbearing nature. She truly hoped that she could keep herself in that sweet spot - she wanted to support but not smother. "And we have many, many years left. You'll have to do better if you're hoping to run me off." She smiled at him, hoping that he might appreciate her stance too. 

 

Once they'd arrived Catori turned in a circle a few times, pulling the bedding up to nearly make a nest of it large enough for the two of them. "Here," She said with a smile as she looked up to him, waiting for him to settle against her. She wanted to be the big spoon despite her usually curling up beside Grayday instead. She took to preening and grooming him, listening to his thoughts as he spoke. "That, my dear, is a long journey." She admitted. "But I think they'd enjoy you. And Chelan would love knowing I've tricked someone stable into my affections." She said with a laugh. She was careful as she cleaned his face, making sure that she didn't hurt him in the process. "How is your pain?" She could go full on nursemaid - scale of one to ten, what face would you pick for how you're feeling? 

"See - don't think I didn't remember when we met. I knew you'd trick me into caring for you more." She said warmly, nuzzling against him again. No, having his vision cut down earlier than she'd ever considered possible wasn't going to make her run off. She still had her good humor and she still would be right next to him regardless of how things went. "You probably have some fantasy of having someone taking care of you." She kissed right on his snout then, still smiling. No - the sun would shine on them just the same as it had a week ago. Even if she was drawing the picture in his head of how the colors looked. 

 

"I know I am," Catori countered with a smirk, nuzzling gently against Grayday. She was happy with him resting against her and his spirits seemed good. She was pleased with that, worrying over how he might far - but he wasn't droopy or mopey. "Hmm. Something like that." She said with a little laugh. "Or I hadn't found anyone I thought could handle me." Grayday so far had proven to be stable enough to handle her whims and he didn't seem afraid of her - which was good for them both. 

"How do you feel this winter will go? There seems to be plenty of prey at least." Catori, trying to plan the world out, was more worried about keeping things in relative check than anything else. "I should check up with Dawn when she gets back about her plans." She wouldn't overstep her boundaries of course but she wanted to help however she could. 

 

Delegating the common tasks between them felt good and Catori couldn't deny that being useful appealed to her. She'd never be the type to just sit and expect the world handed to her - even if Grayday got his way and had her fat and pregnant before spring. Of course the joking about getting her nice and fat had been before their mateship was settled but she'd had that feeling it was where they were headed and babies just came to the natural scheme of things she felt. "Well. It won't be on Dawn only - no matter what the whole pack needs to be involved and aware. It isn't just a task for one wolf no matter what position that wolf holds in things." She explained her thoughts as smoothly as she could. 

"Y'know, it'd probably be good to take the kids along too, they'd probably enjoy having a 'real job' around the packlands." Catori guessed - she knew when she was young she'd wanted something to do like the bigger wolves and just checking cache levels was fairly easy (and safe) enough that even younger wolves could manage it. "The pack is thriving, we've got passionate wolves who actually care - I think this will go well." She admitted. 

 

Catori couldn't pretend that it wasn't terrifying to consider having children. Being a mother in any capacity was something she wasn't entirely familiar with - and navigating her role in the lives of Gray's children meant that she was playing it by ear the entire time. She just didn't know. So far she'd been lucky enough that her interactions with the girls were positive, all things considered, and yet there was still room for so much more. She gave a soft hum, nuzzling beneath Grayday's muzzle but careful not to move his head too much. She didn't want to make him hurt, especially when talking about something so important as the future of their family. 

"It's a little overwhelming." Catori admitted, giving a little sigh. "I just.....I want to make sure I'm a good mother. Not just to our kids, but, to Easy, Dauntless, and Lavender too. They deserve the best I can give them." Did that mean she intended to forgo breeding whenever her heat hit her? No - but, she wanted to make sure that one litter was never pushed aside for the sake of the other. "Probably not the encouraging answer you wanted, hm?" Catori wouldn't shy away from that - he could tell her his concerns just the same as she could voice hers and she felt safe enough to. 

"Did it scare you the first time?" Catori asked, wondering what trepidation he'd felt when facing his first litter's birth.

 

Grayday had misunderstood her - or she hadn't articulated properly her concerns, which was fine. She listened in silence to his words, giving a little hum at the notion that his kids didn't need her in the capacity. Still, she wanted to be as present as she could be in their lives - as stable and solid as they needed her to be however they did end up needing her. "That wasn't a no, honey. I'm just nervous."  Catori said, trying to make sure that she was more clear this go around. 

"I don't think I'm going to fill any voids or take anyone's place with your kids, but, I'm going to be clear mine don't and won't matter more than they do. Even if the older crew won't need us as much as the little ones would, my family was much more... Close than that. Cousins tended each other and we all pitched in. I know that's a lot of what Morningside does too, I just... "  She worried the edge of her lip against her teeth for a moment, wondering what she'd do if she failed him somehow. She wanted to be good enough for all of them - their kids, their pack, still be someone special for him and him alone. 

"I don't want to be horrible at this mother thing and let you down."  

The idea that she was infallible was one Catori could only shake her head at, even giving a little exasperated roll of her eyes. "That knock to your head must have done more damage than we thought," She rumbled affectionately, preening a bit of fur behind the base of one of his ears. "I could disappoint you. Not that I'm planning on it, but, there's always that possibility. Maybe my hormones will change and make me smell bad. Maybe I'll wake up one day and just.....hate the color blue. Be sick of the sky itself. Maybe I get some weird skin infection and all my fur falls out and I look horrible without it." She could go on and on but it was clear she was playing - the message was true enough though. She might fail him in all sorts of ways, but, not the ways he feared. "Their loss. You have amazing children, Gray, and you aren't that bad yourself." She said with a little smile. 

She was still as he adjusted himself and once he was where he wanted to be she settled into his embrace happily. "I just...don't get it. I'm sure you've questioned it yourself but...how in the world do you walk away from your family? Not even yours specifically but...." She trailed off with a sigh, and she expected that it would never be a mystery they solved. "I'm not going anywhere. Even without our babies. I'm happy here. With you - with your kids, with the pack." Since the entire attack at the borders she'd been thinking about things even more. She hadn't really articulated things - caring more about making sure that Grayday was taken care of and that the kids were okay still and keeping their borders secure - it was endless and Catori was grateful for the distractions. 

"I'll never replace their mother and I don't want to - but seeing Lavender hurt....." She let out a shaky breath. "It was such an immediate response in me...I didn't even notice what happened to you at first." She admitted this, cuddled against him, and yet there was no remorse there. 

Catori knew it wasn't a pleasant memory and she had no intentions of dwelling on the subject of his past mates but she still just...she didn't get it. How did someone make that choice? She was still glowing as it was from the feeling that they gave her - that was enough to overcome the fear. She couldn't make it any worse given how he was certain they'd overcome things together and it was enough that she could feel more certain too. "Imagine if we have a girl as stubborn as me and Dawn put together." She said with a breathy laugh. "You don't even know what you've gotten yourself into, hun." Catori smiled at him, touching her nose against his temple gently as she just breathed him in. Hers. 

Catori let her eyes close as he nuzzled into her, almost shivering under his affections. "Oh, Grayday," She murmured as she let her head rest over his. "I've never imagined a life like ours until you. And I want it more than I know how to articulate. Even if it scares the hell out of me." She said candidly. "Imagine I'll still be as nervous even after our second or third litter. But we'll survive. Our whole big imaginary family." Catori couldn't help but smile at that - feeling more reassured by their talk. 

 

Catori could see so many things - stubborn and strong children, boys hiding their sensitive sides until they just couldn't help it anymore, little children that ran about and continued to spread their little homes to the four corners of the earth. "Maybe the boys will bring pretty girls to visit us until we're old and gray," She broke off into a chuckle there, licking his brow. "Well, more gray, and their little ankle biters will tug our tails and ears." 

Catori let out a low breath and relaxed in his embrace. She occasionally leaned up to kiss along his jaw, but overall, everything in the world just felt right. Even being worked up about the thought of maybe bringing their children into the world wasn't enough to shake her right then. Everything just felt like it was supposed to be. "I love you Grayday." 

 

Catori wasn't sure if they would never leave and honestly, she expected that at some point, they might. The pack was getting fuller as was natural with winter; but beyond that - their very nature often meant that at some point they might spread their wings. "If they don't stay with us forever, they'd probably end up close enough." Catori intoned, giving a little shrug. "But I bet they'd bring them by often - and it's not like we can't visit too." Catori reminded him with a little nudge. 

Catori grinned when he tugged at her ear, nipping at a lock of his scruff. "Hmm and just how are you planning on doing that, handsome?" She asked with a lilting tone. She worried of course just what he meant - not wanting him in pain or worn out but certainly not wanting to baby him either. It was a fine line, but Grayday was a big boy, and she felt confident he'd be honest with her if whatever wasn't working for the two of them. 

 

Regardless of trepidation they were both settled comfortably in one another. When Catori ended up worked up Grayday was there to help settle her fears. She gave a little hum and licked her lips, shifting a bit to accommodate him better. "Probably should have waited for this," Catori breathed out as she settled properly. "Now we can't get enough..." She couldn't help the breathy tease or the way that she just let herself go. 

Everything just felt right and she knew regardless of what happened she'd survive it all - as long as they had each other.