blixen thought she was past this - this weird, uneasy thing with furi. the first time they'd met she made such a mess of it and then again, but they'd bonded so well recently... after their trip to the south of drageda together the gona thought they were getting pretty close, even. so why did she have to go and muck it all up again?

well - no, it's not all her fault. there are probably more graceful ways to handle what happened, she'll concede. but furi brought a stranger to their borders without any consideration for the rest of the pack - without thinking about the fact that nomi isn't here - and not only that, the stranger she brought is a girl who looks like her and that probably shouldn't bother her as much as it does, but here we are. they don't share a den that night. fine. blixen barely sleeps anyway, frustrated as she is. the ginger's up before the sun, patroling furiously until she has to go get something to eat. at the cache she realises she hasn't seen furi at all, which is even worse than her not being in the den. at least there's bobby and artaax around so she isn't totally alone in the den, but patrolling is their thing. 

how mad at her is furi? blixen isn't.. angry, herself, more uneasy, more upset. rose had been accepted, so that is that, despite her misgivings. she's a good gona and she respects dio's decision, ultimately. she's not too keen to be besties with the other ginger girl but there's no need to rock the boat, and her frustration is more with furi anyway, with their constant miscommunications. 

blix is not as great at tracking as her brother, but she can pick out furi's scent easily at this point and sets about to trailing down her friend. she picks it up in the southern part of the territory, her pace quickening until she's nearly running - she skids to a stop when she sees furi, stumbling over her paws a bit. "h-hei!" the gona calls out, not noticing what furi's up to until she's nearly upon her. "oh!" she says, jumping back slightly to avoid being pecked, her amber eyes wide, but doesn't wait a beat before continuing to talk: "i've been looking for you." her voice feels too loud in her ears though she's talking at a normal volume, strained under her frustration even as she's trying to sound light-hearted. believe it or not, blix doesn't want a fight (but she's gonna get one, probably).

she winces as furi reacts in surprise, sitting down. not a great start, blixen. furi doesn't say anything for a long moment and her stomach clenches anxiously - feelings, talking about feelings, all of that, it's not like, easy for her, and every other time they've fought she's been able to just sort of apologise and move on. but this time it isn't going to be so easy.

"oh," she says, frowning. summoning all of the patience and maturity she can muster, blixen very carefully says, "i think... it would be good if we... talked about what happened." she pauses. "yesterday, i mean. obviously." the ginger adds, awkwardly, and sucks in a deep breath to hold while she waits for furi to answer her.

unfortunately, all of blixen's patience and maturity is now out the window. even knowing how mad furi must be she's still taken aback by the girl's snapping, the naked hurt in her face. guilt washes over her but she doesn't understand why her friend is so upset. "i'm sorry i doubted your new friend," she says testily, her ears flicking back, "but you should've at least asked first." if not her, then eske or something.

shifting her weight awkwardly from paw to paw, she adds, "do you want me to apologise to her too? i can do that." her tone, though, is unenthused. she feels a little bad for being so put off towards rose when it's not really her fault, but she also didn't really do anything to her. so she was a little suspicious - so what, that's her literal job. it's not her fault furi tried to de facto accept her without any vetting!

it's the first time, she thinks, furi's spoken to her with this much intensity. she wishes the circumstances were different.

"i know you're a gona," she snaps back, "which is why i don't expect you to come waltzing in with a bunch of strangers!" a beat later, what furi says actually processes: i met her outside the pack. the same bitter-rotten feeling from before swells up inside her, and with a start, she realises it's jealousy, but it's too late to keep from acting on it. "is that why you're always going outside the borders? to go hang out with her?" her voice is clipped, catching on the word 'her' in a way that she hates because it shouldn't really matter if she has friends outside of drageda except it matters more than anything in the world right now. how long have they known each other? days? months? no - furi hasn't been here long enough for that, but - whatever it is, it's too long.

(honestly, would she have been better about the whole thing if it had been arrille? she'd still have been frustrated with furi handing out invitations like that, but what is it about this girl specifically that's thrown her off so much? of course none of this is occuring to her in the moment, but it's the sort of thing she'll ask herself later, licking her wounds.)

"'cause you're always out," she mutters, more petulantly that she'd like to be. okay, it's not strictly true, and it never bothered her until... rose. but furi says they've only just met, which, strangely, makes her feel a little better. she hunches, the tip of her tail curling around her toes. "fine, but, still," blix says in a huff, "i just think - it wasn't good," and she's trying to string her words together more pleasantly, but she's not got grasp of what she's saying, "and, and she looks just like me, that's weird!" 

immediately her jaw snaps shut, teeth clanking audibly, eyes gone wide in embarrassment. that wasn't what she meant to say. she meant to say you should have asked before bringing her here. that's a reasonable complaint to have. that's the complaint she does have. but it's too late to backpeddle so she scowls at her feet defensively instead, ears flat against her skull.

she doesn't respond to furi's shout -- mostly because she knows furi's right, and moreover it doesn't matter. but also because she's still shocked at herself, her heart thudding rapidly in her chest as she tries to gain back control of her runaway emotions. and it's clear she's made things somehow even worse because now, on top of furi and her both being pissed there's an extra fun layer of awkward.

"because, i - it's," blix says ungracefully, loudly, "it - it just is!" it is! even if she doesn't know - why exactly. or why it bothers her so much that furi might have a new friend who is a girl who looks a lot like her, but is probably better at things like feelings, and probably doesn't put  her foot in her mouth once a damn week. struggling to divert from the dangerous direction this conversation is heading, blixen hastily backtracks. "and -- and i don't understand why you're so mad at me anyway! you know i'm just - i'm trying to keep drageda safe!" it sounds hollow even to her, even if it's what she truly believes - oh blix, you really lost the thread on this one.

blixen bristles, shocked furi would even ask, given the series of unfortunate events that have befallen drageda in the past few months. from outsiders, furi asks, and blix starts, "yes -" only to hear like me. like her? "wait, no -" the ginger says, confused and annoyed, "obviously not like you because you're not - furi, wait, where are you -- " 

if her friend thinks she's just gonna let her walk away with the last word, she really doesn't know blixen at all. the gona darts after her, circling around her to block her path bodily, intent to follow her wherever she tries to go. "you're not an outsider --" she insists, "i don't think that, hell, furi, is that why you're mad?" it doesn't make a lick of sense to her because she's sort of an idiot. yeah, maybe she'd sort of said something along those lines when they'd first met, but that was before furi became a gona with her and before mother was found. obviously it's different now!

she won't let furi leave until she understands, but when furi finally says something, blix freezes. "i do trust you," she says, and she means it, but she says it weakly. she does trust furi - she does - but... if she's being completely honest, isn't there always a little lingering part of her that wonders if furi's going to move on and leave them? not even wonder - wait for it. 

she hates it.

"i do trust you," she repeats, forcing herself to sound firm. "i..." how does she explain? it's not furi. it's her own abandonment complex, sharpened by the events with her mother and her deeply ingrained fear of tragedy befalling them yet again. but she doesn't - can't say that. "it's just - i don't trust her," she settles on lamely, knowing it's a shitty cover, but it's the best she can muster right now.

blixen's anger deserts her, leaving her feeling raw and hollowed-out. it seems nothing she says makes the situation better, only worse, and she doesn't know how to salvage it or make furi understand her perspective. the ginger sucks in a deep, shaking breath, and looks at her feet. "fine," she says slowly, then falls silent. she doesn't actually care all that much about rose right now, she finds, and she can't muster the energy to keep up arguing about her. instead she looks at furi again and says, "you're still mad at me, aren't you."

she doesn't know what to do with furi's answer - what to do with furi, honestly. the other girl has never really offered to share how she feels with blix (though even if she had, blixen probably would have steamrolled over it, unaware) and now "i don't know" feels like a cop out.

"it's not fine," she insists, "i don't want you to be mad at me." she still doesn't think she deserves furi's fury (ha) for being suspicious of rose in the first place and she doesn't know how to make furi understand she doesn't think of her as an outsider without alienating her further, without having to acknowledge that furi is still learning drageda's customs. a stricken thought occurs to her and she blurts before she can help it: "is that why you brought her here? so you could have a friend that's... more like you?" she does not let herself say 'outsider' even if she means it like: like when you first came to drageda. she does not think furi's answer will make her feel better either way but she has to know why.

blixen's mouth twists into a frown. she doesn't believe furi - if she wasn't mad they wouldn't have been having this fight in the first place. she wants to believe her, wants to do the thing where she says sorry and furi says alright and then they just move forward, just like she does with artaax, but somehow she doesn't think that's gonna cut it here.

the gona can't help but scoff a little at her answer, but she doesn't push it, especially not when furi follows up with a request for a cease fire. "i guess if you're not gonna tell me anything, fine." she's sniping, unnecessarily she knows, but her patience is shot and she has a stomachache again and nomi isn't even home to give her advice. "are you still going to come on patrol?" their morning patrols are a routine but she can't make furi come with her, can't stop furi from changing her schedule if she wants to. maybe it'd be for the best if all they're gonna do is go in circles forever.