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+--- Thread: The Sunspire I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man (/showthread.php?tid=2406)
I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Jace - May 24, 2014
@Ferdie Von Pelt figured we could have a man to man thread since we haven' t really had a chance :)
He walked like a shadow, a wraith in the darkness all that was seen were blue eyes gazing out in the darkness beyond. His fur was blood and matted, though not as bad as it had been and he was feeling better. As he walked through the shadows he thought dark deep bitter thoughts. The young male was becoming jaded and angry. It had not been fair that no words had been spoken or heard by him or for him from fox. She was so quick to condemn and it irked the black pelted boy.
The thing that irked the worse the most worst thing to him, was that his name would not be cleared. He would tell who he could when he could that he had been fighting in defense. But by that time, his name would already be poison dripping off the mouth of Fox and others. He was tired of arguing with himself over all this and he was tired of feeling these twisted dark feelings.
However, he found that it was nye impossible to forget or even forgive. And therein lied the problem. The boy who had once been good and kind and honest was not following down a dark trail of no return and he did not wish to be the perfect soldier anymore. He would not give an inch where another could take a mile and he wondered if he could keep that mind set or if yet again his heart would fail in that.
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Ferdie Von Pelt - May 30, 2014
Ferdie Von Pelt sought out the dark haired male two large fat ducks hanging from his jaw, their eggs in the belly, shell and all, without thought but for hunger he had wiped out an entire duck family. Not that many wolfs thought of this when hunting, but he had seen the eggs now without parents and decided to show them mercy rather then leaving the to freeze to death slowly. Eggs the rare treat that they were, were good for the pelt anyway.
He had taken the time to bathe, clean his wounds and groom his pelt. Though only a week had gone by his weight was returning, he had started to eat again; he had new purpose he couldn't sit by and wait for another wolf to live his life; And certainly least of all not Fox. She had shown him over and over again with her lack of caring and concern that she didn't deserve the title she had taken in swiftcurrent. Many had seen that none dared to oppose her, not even he himself.
Ferdie Von Pelt was done; he didn't feel love nor hate toward the rust haired bitch, He didn't want revenge nor forgiveness he needed nothing from her anymore. What he had needed Jace had given to him, and Ferdie hoped now that the cost of helping him wasn't to great for Jace.
Upon finding Jace he lay the ducks at his feet and sat down, his eyes soft and yet sad still.
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Jace - May 30, 2014
Jace shifted his body weight as he saw the ducks and offered a small smile to the large warrior. Hello Ferdie. Thank you. He pulled a duck toward him and laying down on his belly he took a bite and then looked back up at him.
Where do we go from here? Sky has disappeared where to I do not know, though I wish her well. I find Ferdie that I am very angry. I want to rip into Fox with sharp tongue and words. He sighed heavily he did not like this dark black burden that hung over his head. He did not like it at all. He tilted his head grabbing another bite of duck and chewing.
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Ferdie Von Pelt - May 30, 2014
Ferdie lay down, taking his que from Jace and pulled the drake duck toward him, carefully grooming and plucking the feathers away as Jace spoke, he used the motions to quiet his mind.
In no time the duck was picked clean and the wind was starting to carry away the feathers. Ferdie thoughtfully chewed on the wing before looking up at Jace, his tipped his head to the left and licked his lips thinking, when suddenly his gaze widened then he looked Jace right in the eye and with seriousness he spoke
Don't let her poison you. Like she did me... Though her poison was inadvertent or maybe it wasn't maybe she saw and didn't care.
I don't care anymore I don't have the strength to, I let her poison my heart and you cleansed the poison from me. Don't take it into yourself. Fox is not worth it.
Though we can't go back we can move forward and leave her behind show her and everyone else there is kindness, and justice.
Ferdie tipped his head down and chewed on the duck. he chose not to speak of Sky, there was to much loss for his to deal with that.
I want to go to the mountains, far from here, and begin anew. I want to found a pack where acceptance comes first and questions after. I want a pack where drama does not lead to death but to at least a civil conversation. Where when wolves come calling like they did with Bones, we could have the numbers to hold them and talk rather then kill. I'm tired of fighting... Though he didn't say the words aloud the sigh that escaped him said I want Bones back...
Ferdie spoke with more words then absolutely necessary, Fox had beaten that out of him, making him learn to keep it short and sweet if he wanted her to even hear a word, he hadn't realized how much he had changed for that poisonous asp of a wolf
forgot bold tags
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Jace - May 30, 2014
Jace chuckled darkly She didn't poison me Ferdie what she did was ruin me. I fought hard for my position in that pack. I gained both the trades of warden and gamekeeper and she still treated me as if I wasn't worth the shit on her paws. Excuse my language friend. I would not have minded any of this, the thing that I mind was that I deserved her to at least listen. Instead she ignored both of us and looked down on us like she is so much better than us, and yes she was the alpha, but she does not have to treat her subordinates like nothing but dirt. I am the same age as her Ferdie and she has nothing on you. She does not deserve to be in the position she is in. She is a blight, and I for one do not know if I can be civil to her in the future. He was breathing heavily after that long winded speech and he was ashamed of his feelings. HE did not like to feel so ill towards someone he once at least counted a pack mate, but he couldn't help it.
Honestly Ferdie even if she would have just listened and then chased us out I would handle it better than this. I agree with this Ferdie and I will gladly follow you. Jace then bit into his duck again taking a large chunk out of its side.
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Ferdie Von Pelt - May 30, 2014
I Hope Bazi doesn't catch wind of this conversation :D
Fox was never one for words, or insubordination, though most days I found it hard to figure out what was insubordination was to her, she was all over the place, just as much as I was. But I was just trying to fit in, I have no excuse for her.. He chuckled softly for a second or two then chewed thoughtfully on the duck, almost finished it he looked up at Jace.
I'm so glad you'd come with me, I don't think I'd feel whole anymore without you by my side.
and just remember you are better then her; To give her civility where she would not in your place, makes you the better wolf. Ferdie grinned wolfishly then and continued And just because you are more civil then her doesn't mean you agree. Just that in every way you are better. After civil words, she deserves the 'What for!' She will not be welcome on the pack lands and those that follow her should not be welcome unless they wish to remove themselves from her tyranny Ferdie licks his lips clearly enjoying the conversation he did not wish harm upon her but she now understood her all to well and that may come in handy in the future. For even a journey up the mountains would not get them far enough away from the alpha of swiftcurrent. The only thing that kept screaming in his mind was, Bazi, bazi bazi!! however Bazi was likely so angry she was lost to him forever, that sweet pup that once sang with him and invited him to share a den when he was without. Bazi.... He never realized how much of his heart she held.
One word left out that totally changed the whole post
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Jace - May 31, 2014
Jace snorted to himself. It was true that the she wolf Fox was not very good at talking to others. She could come off as abrasive and crass. He supposed it was her personality though. Ferdie was right he was a better wolf and he would show that to her. Granted he would not feel very civil for sometime so it was best if he stayed far far away from those and that pack land for a little while. And he would gladly chase others away from their new home. He however was unsure deep in his heart if he would be able to chase away a few of them. To the fore front of his mind came Tuwawi, Bazi and Njal two who held his deepest respect, one who held his friendly heart in a purely platonic way.
However, just as he thought of this he also realized that Bazi was loyal to Fox to a fault. It was actually maddening now that he saw Fox for who and what she really was at least to him anyway. Perhaps she was not as crass or abrasive with others. well you make solid points Ferdie. Thank you for talking me down from that ledge of darkness there.
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Ferdie Von Pelt - May 31, 2014
I speak the truth as I understand it. We can't let another change who we are, least of all her. He tried to keep his tone more relaxed but some bitterness may have slipped in there. Ferdie was hurting too, complete and utter rejection was a hard thing thing to deal with.
Bazi is as loyal to Fox and Ferdie Von Pelt had wanted to be, but Fox would not allow it for reasons unknown to him. For a brief moment he felt something akin to jealously, not for the favor of Fox but for Bazi's unyielding loyalty. Loyalty was what he longed to give to a deserving wolf, that which he thought once might have been Fox, but now he knew better.
One day though we should seek out Bazi, when she is not on Swiftcurrents land, and plead our case to her, I miss her dearly. Ferdie had no idea how that would go and right now he was not ready for more rejection, so this meeting would wait for a while. Ferdie looked up at Jace, Or perhaps that may not be a good idea, over the past month or so she has changed... more time means more change... Ferdie huffed softly into the feathers at his feet sending the rest into the air to fitter in the breeze and land close by most carried on further away
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Jace - June 01, 2014
Jace listened to his comment about change, but he chose not to say anything for or against the philosophy. He was still feeling hurt and yes slightly abandoned so he needed to work through that before he could have a conversation about Fox without getting angry and irritated.
He froze when Bazi's name was brought up. She was his best friend, but he was unsure if now he even counted among any of her friends or if she merely saw him as a monster. Bazi had indeed changed her close mindedness and vindictive nature had started to show through and it had made warning bells clang inside his head. She was also loyal to a fault and he could not see her going against Fox in anyway even just to talk to them on neutral ground. I do not know Ferdie she has changed and she is also very loyal to Fox.
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Ferdie Von Pelt - June 01, 2014
Ferdie frowned, this was a depressing conversation. He noticed Jace's change in demeanor and decided though he didn't want too; to let the conversation about Bazi drop. If it were not for him and what had happened, Jace and Bazi may have come together. A sob almost escaped his throat then but he caught it and coughed a few times to hide it.
Jace, don't let your heart grow dark. Be firm in who you are. Ferdie lay his head on his paws and looked up at the dark male We need food, there are no caches outside the packlands Ferdie frowned again at the thought of no easy food. Perhaps we should head towards The SunSpire and see what awaits us there for hunting?
Ferdie shifted himself into a standing position then and sighed at how stiff he felt. My muscles need to move, I'm so stiff and sore he offered a weak smile then.
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Jace - June 01, 2014
If Jace had known what the older male was thinking he would have told him easily not to fret. He had had no ideas of love or lust for Bazi, she had been merely his friend. The youth actually was still very awkward around the fairer sex and truth be told would prefer it that way for some time, maybe even forever. There were not many that could handle him, both his deep seeded anger and his deep rooted emotional mess.
Jace tilted his ear and then spoke I can go hunting if you need me too Ferdie I don't mind. As soon as they found a place to settle for the time being or forever his first order of business would be to do some hunting and set up some caches .He would let the diplomacy to Ferdie. He was not very good at it anyway.
Jace got to his feet and returned the smile Let's go then old timer. he teased gently. Truthfully his muscles were stiff and sore as well.
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Ferdie Von Pelt - June 02, 2014
I could out hunt you anyday Ferdie teased lightheartedly the mirth in his eyes showed he was clearly joking, he lurched forward less then gracefully and moved with a stiff gate putting more distance between him and Fox, him and the past, there was only time to move forward now. Coming to a pathway Ferdie stretched his muscle and moved with longer strides working his sore muscles
He knew there was an oasis around here somewhere and he intended to hunt more water fowl. Though he needed to actually take Jace up the long ago offered fishing lessons for he really did want to impress nightingale. Nothing like a female to spur Ferdie to action.
and Fade Ferdie
RE: I walk among the shadows a dark and bitter man - Jace - June 02, 2014
Jace chuckled deep into his throat and dipped his muzzle. He stood as Ferdie did and he followed behind him. Also eager to leave much of the past behind. Though he had traveled far to get to his own home and make a new beginning he was not off to a very good start so far.
He kept pace with the older male eager to get to the mountain now and do some hunting.