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+--- Thread: Blacktail Deer Plateau If I die Young (/showthread.php?tid=25366)
If I die Young - Sunny - February 05, 2018
Backdated after Teetering on the edge. January 30th. @Grayday @Shale @Dauntless if he's back from EST. Angsty family thread anyone?Vague details about healing.
He'd been roused from his almost comatose state of stillness and tended to by someone. He honestly wasn't sure whether it was Pema or Forrest, for all he knew in his semi delirious state it was an angel of Mercy trying to relieve his pain. He knew it was bad, he could smell that strange half death scent that came from his fur. Almost all of him yearned to give in. He'd walk off into the snow and lay down somewhere they couldn't get to him in time and fall asleep, freezing to death or dying from illness either way this pain would be over with. Then there was the bright boy he'd always been, the part that still yearned to grow up into a fine protector who'd not only keep Morningside safe but his own family too someday. That part of him is what made him begin to cry. He knew just how sick he was and that even Aditya had almost died. He didn't want to leave dad and Dawn and everyone else just yet.
RE: If I die Young - Grayday Sr. - February 06, 2018
Grayday rarely left his son's side these days. When he did, it was only for an hour or two at a time, and only to stretch his legs and perhaps bring back something for the ailing boy to eat.
He'd been thinking a lot about death, lately. About Sunny. About Sunny dying. About his own mortality. Sometimes, he liked to imagine what Aditya had told him - that they'd all been written into the same stories before, and that their authors would write them into new stories when they died in this one. It would be nice, he thought, to meet his children again. Perhaps Sunny would be his brother in another life. Perhaps Dawn would one day be his mother. He didn't know how these things worked, but he knew that his family's ties were too strong to be done away with by death.
Thy will be done, he prayed. Whatever it is you are doing, whoever you are... just don't let Sunny suffer too much longer. Love my boy the way I have been written to. Idly, he wondered if the same one who wrote his fate also wrote for his sons and daughters. If not, could they communicate? Did the gods speak to each other, or only to their subjects in the dead of the night?
"I'm here, Sunny," said Grayday, as he often did, these days. "Dad's here."
RE: If I die Young - Sunny - February 07, 2018
He'd known that his father wouldn't be far from his side but he had come past the point of caring about being strong and hiding his fear and pain. This had gone on for so long and he wondered how much longer he'd have to continue dealing with it. As his father spoke up he shivered and finally cracked open his eyes, a feverish glazed look in them as he tried to spot his dad. "Dad... Dad I don't want to die yet." He came right out with it. There wasn't any reason not to speak about what was happening here. "But I don't want this anymore. The sickness. It hurts... I'm tired." He swallowed, his dry mouth and throat protesting and causing him to cough and sputter out another globby chunk of mucus. "But I don't want to leave you and Dawn and Adi. I want to see Dawn have babies and I want my own babies. I want to become someone you can be proud of. I want to love a girl and grow old and die happily in our sleep" he croaked it all out still laying limply on the ground, but by then his eyes had focused in on his father with an intensity that showed the boy knew he needed a miracle at this point to live.
RE: If I die Young - Grayday Sr. - February 11, 2018
Grayday could not see his son. He could see little but light and shadow, and the bright halo that was the mouth of the den. But he knew his son, and could imagine the agonizing fear and weariness that must have been writ across his handsome face.
"All creatures must accept their mortality," he said gently. "We are not meant to live forever. If it is your time, there's little to be done, and regretting it will do nothing but make your last moments miserable, and prevent you from healing, if you're meant to continue on."
He moved to lick his son's forhead. "Aditya believes that we will all meet again in another life - the same wolves you love now, you will love again. You have loved before." He did not know what else to say, but hoped that this would comfort his child. "Whatever happens, I will be with you. Unlike wolves, love is endless."
RE: If I die Young - Sunny - February 14, 2018
As his father began to speak again he'd closed his eyes, ears turning to focus intently on his dad's voice. The words were difficult for him to understand emotionally though he knew what they meant. How could he not regret anything? He hadn't done much but it seemed now that what he had done had been not only insignificant but horrible. He'd wasted most of his life arguing with his family and pushing them away, causing them grief. He'd only been back for a short while and hadn't really achieved much. Yet he had made up with Dawn and his father, he'd seen his dad find a woman who really seemed to love him and Sunny even dared to hope that she'd stay. He'd gotten to see Dauntless, Easy, and Lavender become amazing young wolves who showed alot of promise. After musing over this he realized Everything he may have regretted had already been fixed. Perhaps if he was meant to die, this would be a good time to go. As a good, loved member of his family.
An ear flicked and he opened an eye at what Aditya had told his father. He smiled faintly and gave a weak wag of his tail. "I think...I think if we meet again, I'd like another chance as your child. Maybe I could do better. Not cause any pain or waste time arguing. Or maybe as a brother...we could grow up together... he trailed off as he felt his throat squeezing to cough again, fighting against it.
RE: If I die Young - Grayday Sr. - February 18, 2018
Grayday was silent for several long moments, working through the grief that struck him every time Sunny spoke like this. He always felt like such a failure when Sunny talked about doing better, being better, making him proud. The man wished things could have been different for him and his boy, but that didn't change how Grayday saw him.
"I have always been proud to call you my son," he said quietly, remembering the other times he had tried to express this to the boy. "You're every bit as precious to me as Dawn and your younger siblings, Sunny. I'm so thankful I got to be your dad."
RE: If I die Young - Sunny - February 19, 2018
Grayday's response warmed him to the core and he felt himself smiling as he relaxed. It felt like he was a kid again, every part of him touched by his father's praise. His tail beat against the ground enthusiastically, the first energetic display he'd had in a while as he opened his eyes again and smiled up at his father. "Thank you. I always..worried that because I'd picked Easthollow and argued...been so bitter with Dawn that I had something to make up for. I thought the pain I caused would last forever and I'd have to be amazing to make up for it. I'm really happy to hear that I've done good...I needed that." He spoke softly as he began to grow tired again though he still fought to stay awake, afraid that if he fell asleep he'd never wake up again. If these were to be his last moments he wanted his dad to be okay when he was gone.
"You're an amazing dad. You..Through Everything you've done everything you could. I see that. It's why i aim to be like you. You're strong and an amazing leader, everyone loves and respects you. Even though you've made mistakes and lost a lot you keep going. I...I don't think I admire anyone like I do you" he finally fell silent though he kept looking at his dad. Slowly he lifted his head from his paws and scooted closer, pushing his nose into his father's shoulder. He nuzzled him gently before moving back again and laying down, the tip of his tail wagging slowly with contentment.
RE: If I die Young - Grayday Sr. - March 12, 2018
Sorry for the wait on this!
Grayday licked his son's cheek. "There's nothing I wouldn't forgive you for, Sunny," he said ardently, pressing a bit closer. He wished Sunny was yet small, so that he could fold the boy up in his embrace. "You don't need to win my love. And, as far as transgressions have gone, I don't think there's been much to forgive. You've made me very proud, son. And while I wish I'd been around more for you, I'm glad you were able to find your own way."He knew that Sunny was tiring, and although he wanted to continue their heart-to-heart, he knew it was important that Sunny found rest. "You flatter me, my boy," said Grayday with a grin. "The five of your are my pride and joy. If there's anything to admire me for, it's the family that's been given to me."