her forelimb broke through the ice, but the chill of the river did not register. the numb had faded, something she would have resented with a passion, had she the capacity to do so. terror had her stagger north, along with some stabbing pain the numb no longer obscured. distantly, she heard a scream that she realized only after a moment had emitted from her own maw. strangled gasp had her lurch forward again, back into a trot as if by moving quickly enough she could leave it all behind. 

light was just beginning to smear across the horizon when exhaustion hit, and the woman curled tightly at the base of a fir, empty gaze settling on the ground before her. she had so feared weakness, and here she lay, utterly empty and uncaring. dirt and brambles caught in her fur, ice and snow caught in her limbs. 

she did not know how to fix this. she thought of her father; of khoe and amber and adeline and wondered if she even could. whimper escaped her then, and it was burning shame that she remembered just exactly what she'd done. she curled further in on herself, and yet found rapidly that she could not shut out the shame, the disgust. 

somehow, she soon relaxed, the tight tension leaching from her as sleep took hold, a fitful, unsettling thing.