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+--- Thread: Northstar Vale Through the Hurt (/showthread.php?tid=25696)
Through the Hurt - Pema - February 19, 2018
The three of them had been traveling all day. Making their way from Easthollow to Morningside. Shale's sense of urgency made Pema hold back her questions of what had happened for a better time. They were focuses and moving quickly, stopping to ask questions now would only slow them down. Their main focus was simply getting there. She kept a close eye on Dauntless, fearing that what had happened to Burr might happen to him as well. Something she knew was unlikely, but also something she couldn't simply ignore. He had made it clear during this whole fiasco that he was older now and wasn't a pup. But he was so close in age to Burr that it meant little to Pema until he was safe. Maybe that was why she had taken to long to leave Easthollow. He was safe there, with the pack to protect them. But out here, what was to stop what had happened to Burr other then her and Shale.
They had traveled all day, climbing and treversing a majority of the moutain range before night fall hit. They might have kept going, but they were exhausted. Easthollow and Morningside weren't too far from one another, but wolves often didn't make the trip in such a short amount of time. Navegating these mountains would be alot easier during the day when they could see where they were going. They would rest here at Northstar Vale, where a former neighboring pack had made their home, for the night. Then they would arrive at Morningside by the next day for sure.
Pema being the way she was, quickly found an old den of the disbanded pack and set Dauntless up within it. It was very large, enough room for the three of them and more so they weren't all pressed against one another. She layed down between Dauntless and Shale, watching as Dauntless went to sleep, as though by her taking her eyes off of him he might disappear. She couldn't sleep. Not with what had just happened and without knowing what she would be expecting back home. She didn't look over to him, but she took the sound of his steady breathing as a sign that he too was asleep.
She needed some air. This lack of sleep and worry was getting to her. She stood up and quietly exited the den, stepping a few yards away where she sat down by a tree. She took deep breaths of the cooled air, as though the chilling air would be able to freeze all that was going on in her head.
They had traveled all day, climbing and treversing a majority of the moutain range before night fall hit. They might have kept going, but they were exhausted. Easthollow and Morningside weren't too far from one another, but wolves often didn't make the trip in such a short amount of time. Navegating these mountains would be alot easier during the day when they could see where they were going. They would rest here at Northstar Vale, where a former neighboring pack had made their home, for the night. Then they would arrive at Morningside by the next day for sure.
Pema being the way she was, quickly found an old den of the disbanded pack and set Dauntless up within it. It was very large, enough room for the three of them and more so they weren't all pressed against one another. She layed down between Dauntless and Shale, watching as Dauntless went to sleep, as though by her taking her eyes off of him he might disappear. She couldn't sleep. Not with what had just happened and without knowing what she would be expecting back home. She didn't look over to him, but she took the sound of his steady breathing as a sign that he too was asleep.
She needed some air. This lack of sleep and worry was getting to her. She stood up and quietly exited the den, stepping a few yards away where she sat down by a tree. She took deep breaths of the cooled air, as though the chilling air would be able to freeze all that was going on in her head.
RE: Through the Hurt - Shale - February 21, 2018
The trio was obviously very happy to be with each other once more, but the tragedy of Burr's demise cast a pallor over the reunion, and they traveled mostly in silence, more than ready to return home. Like Pema, Shale kept close to Burr, not wanting to let him out of earshot--hell, out of sight--for even a moment.
Children could be snagged away from you in the blink of an eye. Didn't matter whether it was a sickness or a villain--it was a constant, ever-present threat.
Pema's restlessness woke him, and he followed her out into the crisp night, sitting beside her, one ear canted backwards toward the den. The valley was beautiful even in the dead of winter, the conifers tall and proud and the vastness of it all promising great abundance when the snow finally started to melt. He imagined it was quite lovely in the warmer seasons.
"Whoever lived here last was very lucky," he remarked casually, with a small whistle through his lips of appreciation. He looked over at her, smiling. "I'm so happy to see you again." His voice had grown serious, but the warmth had not left his tone. Indeed, he'd been thinking about her for days on end, had dreamt of this moment since she had left. He didn't know why he felt such a pull to the healer, only that he knew he had some sort of crush on her, the depth of which remained to be seen.
For now, it was touch and go. He knew better to put all his eggs into one basket, and she knew better not to go for an old, washed-up widower like himself.
RE: Through the Hurt - Pema - February 21, 2018
When she heard restlessness coming from behind her, she turned her head to see Shale emerge from the den. She took another glance at the entrance to the den where she could see Dauntless resting within, before turning her attention back to Shale. She gave him a smile before looking off in the same direction that he did. She looked off, looking for whatever it was he was seeing, only to learn it was the scenery itself he was eyeing.
"Yeah, Northvale had a pretty good set up." she said, sharing her knowledge of the former pack. "We didn't have the best relationship with them, but it was a shock to learn that they kind of just disappeared from the area one day." They never found out what happened to Northvale, but in the end it didn't really effect them down the line. Other then now. "Whatever the reason I'm happy we can stay here for the night."
His voice turned serious as he commented about seeing her again. She didn't know how to feel about it. She hoped that he was talking about her specifically. That he had missed her presence. But she knew that what he really ment was that he missed her and Dauntless, worryed about why they were talking so long when there was all this trouble at home.
"Me too." she said not wanting to be so farward. She had though about him alot these past few weeks. Thinking about how much easier things would have been if he had come with them, or would have been able to talk to her about it. He still owed her a conversation. "I'm sorry I stayed so long. I... I... I just didn't know what to do. They needed my help and with Burr... it..." She rushed through and stuttered her last sentence, unable to clearly talk able the topics she was thinking of. Before letting out a defeated, glum sigh.
"Yeah, Northvale had a pretty good set up." she said, sharing her knowledge of the former pack. "We didn't have the best relationship with them, but it was a shock to learn that they kind of just disappeared from the area one day." They never found out what happened to Northvale, but in the end it didn't really effect them down the line. Other then now. "Whatever the reason I'm happy we can stay here for the night."
His voice turned serious as he commented about seeing her again. She didn't know how to feel about it. She hoped that he was talking about her specifically. That he had missed her presence. But she knew that what he really ment was that he missed her and Dauntless, worryed about why they were talking so long when there was all this trouble at home.
"Me too." she said not wanting to be so farward. She had though about him alot these past few weeks. Thinking about how much easier things would have been if he had come with them, or would have been able to talk to her about it. He still owed her a conversation. "I'm sorry I stayed so long. I... I... I just didn't know what to do. They needed my help and with Burr... it..." She rushed through and stuttered her last sentence, unable to clearly talk able the topics she was thinking of. Before letting out a defeated, glum sigh.
RE: Through the Hurt - Shale - February 22, 2018
A very pleased smile oozed onto his muzzle as she responded, and Shale blinked softly at the woman, shaking his head as she went on to apologize. "Pema, it's okay," he assured her in a low, gentle voice, touching the the tip of his nose to her shoulder. "Really--you did what you had to do in some unfortunate circumstances. We all would have done the same."
A pang ran through his stomach at the thought of the boy, so vibrant the last time Shale had seen him, and now gone. He had tried very hard not to link Burr's face with the blood and remains he'd found by the lake. . .but had failed, and now the images haunted his nightmares. To think such foul wolves roamed the earth. . .
"But it's good you're coming home now," Shale went on, looking toward the southwest. "We're going to leave the plateau, soon. We've had intruders--multiple wolves and a lynx--sickness, that war down south. . .it's time to find better ground." There was a lot for him to catch her up on. He would wait until she asked specific questions before going into further detail.
RE: Through the Hurt - Pema - February 23, 2018
Shale let her know that she didn't need to apologize and that others would have done that same. But she wasn't really sure how much she believed that. It had been voiced by others that she could have went off and looked for him right away, and not went to Easthollow for help. One of them being Dauntless, who she had been trying to protect. But no matter what she did after she lost track of Burr wouldn't have really mattered, by then the deed had been done. The only thing that would have changed anything would be if she hadn't let him go off, but at the time that would have been rediculous.
Whatever the case it was still comforting to know that Shale didn't put any blame on her. He didn't know the whole story, but he had seen the dead body and that was the major problem. He touched her shoulder and she gave him a faint smile. The simple touch took her out of her head and into the real world. One where she wasn't blaming herself for something mostly out of her control.
He gave her a quick over view of what had happened while she had been gone. The move was something she had heard before, but the to hear the intruder issue was getting worse and that there was a sickness spreading she wondered what she would be coming back to. "What!? A sickness. Is everyone alright? Did any of the intruders cause trouble, or that lynx?"
Whatever the case it was still comforting to know that Shale didn't put any blame on her. He didn't know the whole story, but he had seen the dead body and that was the major problem. He touched her shoulder and she gave him a faint smile. The simple touch took her out of her head and into the real world. One where she wasn't blaming herself for something mostly out of her control.
He gave her a quick over view of what had happened while she had been gone. The move was something she had heard before, but the to hear the intruder issue was getting worse and that there was a sickness spreading she wondered what she would be coming back to. "What!? A sickness. Is everyone alright? Did any of the intruders cause trouble, or that lynx?"
RE: Through the Hurt - Shale - February 26, 2018
She threw a lot of questions at him, and rightfully so--she had missed a lot in her absence. Luckily, he had no terrible news to impart. "Only some superficial wounds," Shale assured her. "Cuts and bruises. As for the sickness, Sunny and Aditya--oh, Sorrel, too--got really bad, but they've recovered, now. Everyone else was more or less okay."
He was thankful it hadn't been worse. It could have been worse. And while Raid was an accomplished healer, she was scarcely to be seen in the territory, and Forrest was a midwife--she was capable, but sickness wasn't her area of expertise, he surmised. Had it gotten worse, they would have been sorely in need of Pema--and she would have been many miles away.
Not that Shale blamed her for her absence. It couldn't have been helped. But he was relieved that things had fallen into place the way they had--well, except for Burr's untimely death.
"It's going to be all right," Shale said, as much to himself as to her. "We're strong, and we have the numbers. We'll move to a different place; we'll survive."
RE: Through the Hurt - Pema - February 27, 2018
"That's good." She had a chance to take a deep breath when he went on to explain that everyone was more or less ok. The bulk of it was over and had been taken care of in her absence. She wasn't sure how well, or if her presence would have made the blow a bit lesser. But she didn't need to worry about that now. Now all she had to worry about was getting home.
She looked over to Shale and gave him a smile. She wasn't sure why, but hearing him say that everything was alright calmed her usually paniced and worried mind. "Thank you..." she said simply, unable to express it in other words.
"I appriciate you coming all the way to get us. Dawn must have been busy hu." she said thanking him and assuming he had been asked to come rather then chosen. Dawn was the main scout in the pack and the ambassador, so if anyone was going to come and get them she thought it would be her. Shale must have been a second option when she was unable to. "Did she get sick or something?" she asked more out of curiosity no them worry.
She looked over to Shale and gave him a smile. She wasn't sure why, but hearing him say that everything was alright calmed her usually paniced and worried mind. "Thank you..." she said simply, unable to express it in other words.
"I appriciate you coming all the way to get us. Dawn must have been busy hu." she said thanking him and assuming he had been asked to come rather then chosen. Dawn was the main scout in the pack and the ambassador, so if anyone was going to come and get them she thought it would be her. Shale must have been a second option when she was unable to. "Did she get sick or something?" she asked more out of curiosity no them worry.
RE: Through the Hurt - Shale - March 01, 2018
He looked at her in amused puzzlement, shaking his head. "No, Pema," he answered, his tone serene--but with an edge of some steel he himself couldn't name or place. "Dawn's fine. I volunteered to come get you. I didn't even ask. . .just told my brother, and left."
The journey had been quick and not arduous in the least; Shale felt heartier than ever. But it wasn't something he would have undertaken had he not been asked if it hadn't been Pema he was seeking out. He was shook to discover he would leap mountains for her--had done so, in a figurative sense.
"I care about you, and I wanted you home," Shale said firmly, giving her a soft smile. "That's why it's me here, and not Dawn." Not to say Dawn didn't care about Pema--the young woman surely cared about all her packmates, as a leader should--but to pretend the girl had the same depth of feeling for the healer as he did would be asinine.
RE: Through the Hurt - Pema - March 03, 2018
But Pema's assumptions were wrong. Dawn hadn't been injured or unavailable to come and get them, Shale had simply come of his own volition. He didn't even volunteer himself really he just decided to come get them, without being asked by Day. But why she asked herself. It was clear that the pack needed them back, but if it was really getting that bad wouldn't have Day sent someone himself.
He then went on to explain that he had done this because he cared about her and that made Pema feel something. Something in her heart that she couldn't really put to words. She liked Shale as a friend, but lately it was more then that. Through this tough time he was the only one she could think of that might give her comfort. Someone she wanted to comfort and hold her.
But to care about someone could be interpreted in a variety of ways. And she wasn't fully confident that he felt the same as she did. After all she was so young compared to him had experienced so little. She wasn't sure what to say, and so without words she stepped forward to give him a long hug. "I care about you too Shale." she said softly into his ear before turing her head slightly and giving him a kiss on the cheek. It may have seemed small to someone else, but for Pema this was big. It was rather daring for her usually timid self and she was putting alot of herself out there.
He then went on to explain that he had done this because he cared about her and that made Pema feel something. Something in her heart that she couldn't really put to words. She liked Shale as a friend, but lately it was more then that. Through this tough time he was the only one she could think of that might give her comfort. Someone she wanted to comfort and hold her.
But to care about someone could be interpreted in a variety of ways. And she wasn't fully confident that he felt the same as she did. After all she was so young compared to him had experienced so little. She wasn't sure what to say, and so without words she stepped forward to give him a long hug. "I care about you too Shale." she said softly into his ear before turing her head slightly and giving him a kiss on the cheek. It may have seemed small to someone else, but for Pema this was big. It was rather daring for her usually timid self and she was putting alot of herself out there.
RE: Through the Hurt - Shale - March 05, 2018
Her muzzle met his cheek, and he stiffened, alarm ringing in every nerve of his body. His eyes flashing with wariness, he took a small step back, giving Pema a long look. For a moment, he was speechless, without the words he so desperately needed to give her. Words that kept getting caught in his throat, even as he opened his mouth.
"Pema," he said, voice low and rough. With emotion. . .and desire. Not a little fear, either. "Pema, I-- I like you. A lot. But you. . .you don't want me. I mean, you shouldn't want me." The statement hung bluntly in the air between them, an ugly chasm between her innocence and his tainted heart.
"You are too good for this world, and I. . .I've done terrible things. Seen terrible things." He shook his head, looking down. "I am not good. And you deserve better. You will find better."
His eyes lingered on her face, hoping and praying he didn't see her expression shatter. He couldn't think of anything he wanted less than to hurt her, and yet. . .perhaps that was what it would take. Perhaps breaking her heart was the only way he'd get her to see the light. That he wasn't a good man, that he was irreversibly broken. That no kind woman would ever be able to fix what was wrong with him.
RE: Through the Hurt - Pema - March 05, 2018
She felt her heart begin to sink as he took a step back and looked at her. She shouldn't have been so daring, he didn't feel the same way and now she had made a fool or herself and made him feel uncomfortable. It was so silly to think that he might feel the same way about her with her being so young and inexperienced. He would want someone more his age, someone more mature and...
But that wasn't the case. It was almost as if her heart stopped when he said that he felt the same. Such a shock to her that she simply stared at him as he went on to speak. She heard what he said but it was as if they were falling on deft ears. She wanted to tell him But I do want you. and that those things don't matter. As he spoke all she could think about was ways he was wrong, and right for her. It wasn't that he didn't want her, it's that he thought he didn't deserve her, and she thought that was complete rubish.
"But I found you." she said speaking slowly as she stepped towards him closing the gap that he had created. "You are the one that I want. And if you want me too... then nothing else matters." she said simply looking to him with hope and longing in her eyes.
But that wasn't the case. It was almost as if her heart stopped when he said that he felt the same. Such a shock to her that she simply stared at him as he went on to speak. She heard what he said but it was as if they were falling on deft ears. She wanted to tell him But I do want you. and that those things don't matter. As he spoke all she could think about was ways he was wrong, and right for her. It wasn't that he didn't want her, it's that he thought he didn't deserve her, and she thought that was complete rubish.
"But I found you." she said speaking slowly as she stepped towards him closing the gap that he had created. "You are the one that I want. And if you want me too... then nothing else matters." she said simply looking to him with hope and longing in her eyes.
RE: Through the Hurt - Shale - March 05, 2018
God, she was so full of joy, and hope for the future. How he wished he could fall right in step with her outlook, turn his face to the sunshine of a new day and away from the shadows of the past. But those shadows still cast a terrible pall over his every waking moment, and until they receded, he couldn't see how he could stomach dragging the girl inside them, anchored by his side.
"You think you want me now," Shale responded, mouth dry. He blinked sadly at her. "You've not known me for very long at all. You know the face I wear. . .but not what's underneath. No one here knows that, not even Day."
He leaned to press a gentle kiss on her forehead, lips lingering for a bit before he pulled away again. "Think about it," Shale murmured. "We can discuss it further when we return to the plateau. Right now, let's just focus on getting home."
Thus, he kept Pema at bay, his fragile, shattered heart continuing to build the fortress so damaged by the deaths of his family. Perhaps once it was built, he could welcome her in, love her with everything he had.
But Lucy and the babes still lived in that broken place, and it wasn't fair for Pema to have to share.
RE: Through the Hurt - Pema - March 09, 2018
She had hoped her words would have been enough to convince him that whatever happened in his past wouldn't effect them. But he continued to speak of her not knowing him for that long and that there was more to him then what she knew. He had known about his past wife and children, and could understand that it might still be hurting him. But never having had it happen to her she couldn't fully understand when that would effect them now.
He spoke as though he were a different person then the one she had known. Like he had secrets that he hadn't revealed to anyone, not even his family. But in her mind, though it might not have been true, she believed that nothing he had done in his past would change how she felt about him. "Shale, whatever it is you can talk to me about it. It's not going to change the way I feel about you."
But he went on to say they would talk about this later and that returning home should be their main priority. He wanted her to think about it, but there was nothing to think about for Pema. Mearly wait for him to tell her his secret so he could move past it and realize that the two could be happy with one another.
Reluctantly she agreed. "Okay... I'll think about it. But you have to too." she declared. "The things that happened in your past might deture you from the future, but... but... just think about it." she pleaded.
He spoke as though he were a different person then the one she had known. Like he had secrets that he hadn't revealed to anyone, not even his family. But in her mind, though it might not have been true, she believed that nothing he had done in his past would change how she felt about him. "Shale, whatever it is you can talk to me about it. It's not going to change the way I feel about you."
But he went on to say they would talk about this later and that returning home should be their main priority. He wanted her to think about it, but there was nothing to think about for Pema. Mearly wait for him to tell her his secret so he could move past it and realize that the two could be happy with one another.
Reluctantly she agreed. "Okay... I'll think about it. But you have to too." she declared. "The things that happened in your past might deture you from the future, but... but... just think about it." she pleaded.
RE: Through the Hurt - Shale - March 09, 2018
He shook his head, stepping back further. She didn't get it. He didn't expect her to, and yet. . .he did. Shouldn't she, if she cared for him so much? "It's nothing I've done," Shale explained further, amber eyes burning into hers. "It's who I am. It's how life has shaped me." He shrugged, casting his gaze downward. "You'd have to see that side to know that side, and Pema. . .I don't want you to. I don't want anyone to."
Shale nodded at her instruction to think on it, a small smile coming to his face. "Of course," he assured her. "Of course, Pema. Just--just give me some time, okay?" He looked at her earnestly for a long moment, before stifling a yawn. The night was growing darker, pulling him, exhausted, into the void.
"Let's get some rest," he suggested, nodding toward the den. "We'll feel better in the morning if we at least try to sleep." With a final, gentle nudge of his muzzle to her shoulder, he turned and padded back to the den, curling up next to his nephew with a resigned sigh. But his eyes stayed open, resting on her still form outside, beautifully silhouetted against the black of night.
RE: Through the Hurt - Pema - March 13, 2018
She didn't understand what he was saying, and she wasn't sure she would, even if she took the time to think about it. After all, how was she supposed to understand when he didn't speak about it. And it didn't sound like he was going to tell her or anyone for that matter. He claimed that he needed more time, and she tried to understand, but from now on it would simply be a waiting game for Pema. Waiting to see what he would say, and waiting to see if he would change his mind.
She nodded along with what he was saying but said nothing as he moved to the make shift den for the night. She was hesitant to entering the den, at least at first. She wasn't sure if she was ready for bed, and stayed outside the den for a short time. Looking around and listening to her surroundings before going into and resting the den for the night.
She nodded along with what he was saying but said nothing as he moved to the make shift den for the night. She was hesitant to entering the den, at least at first. She wasn't sure if she was ready for bed, and stayed outside the den for a short time. Looking around and listening to her surroundings before going into and resting the den for the night.