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+--- Thread: Herbalists' Cache What a find (/showthread.php?tid=26188)
What a find - Pema - March 12, 2018
@Shale
Pema had investigated every spot she could think of in the new territory. The borders were now firmly marked, ideas of a main site was in the making, and Pema thought to explore the surrounding areas. She hadn't spent much, if any, time in the Snowforest Tiaga. It was significantly colder then the plateau even though it wasn't too far south. It was turning spring, but the ground of the plains were still coated with snow and didn't look to be going away for awhile if at all.
She hoped the whole area wasn't like this. Being a healer Pema relied alot on herbs, and prefered that she have an amble supply near by. She wasn't going to mind many in the plains with its constant snow cover. But just to the south easter border of the territory Pema stumbled upon a more wooded and green area, fulled with foliage. It was a bit hard to see at first with the layer of light snow, but she couldn't miss the red or a poppy flower or the smell of wilting lavender.
Come summer this would be a very valuable resourse for her, and thus for the pack. She let out a sigh of releif and joy now knowing that such a place existed and so close to the territory. It was simple things like this that made her smile now a days. She wanted to be more for the pack now that Day was becoming more dependant on others. But with the move and her past conversation with Shale, she had a lot to shut out before she could smile at the simple things.
Pema had investigated every spot she could think of in the new territory. The borders were now firmly marked, ideas of a main site was in the making, and Pema thought to explore the surrounding areas. She hadn't spent much, if any, time in the Snowforest Tiaga. It was significantly colder then the plateau even though it wasn't too far south. It was turning spring, but the ground of the plains were still coated with snow and didn't look to be going away for awhile if at all.
She hoped the whole area wasn't like this. Being a healer Pema relied alot on herbs, and prefered that she have an amble supply near by. She wasn't going to mind many in the plains with its constant snow cover. But just to the south easter border of the territory Pema stumbled upon a more wooded and green area, fulled with foliage. It was a bit hard to see at first with the layer of light snow, but she couldn't miss the red or a poppy flower or the smell of wilting lavender.
Come summer this would be a very valuable resourse for her, and thus for the pack. She let out a sigh of releif and joy now knowing that such a place existed and so close to the territory. It was simple things like this that made her smile now a days. She wanted to be more for the pack now that Day was becoming more dependant on others. But with the move and her past conversation with Shale, she had a lot to shut out before she could smile at the simple things.
RE: What a find - Shale - March 13, 2018
Shale, too, had been exploring Morningside's new home. Today, he was investigating this peculiar wide ribbon of rocks, that stretched for miles and miles northward, heading into the small mountain range to the north. It separated the plains from the maplewood, a natural border between the two territories. Instead of going north, he opted to go south, and found himself in a verdant paradise, full of greenery and life.
Delighted, the man padded through the forest, enjoying the mingling scents to be found here. His delight grew--but not without trepidation--when one of those scents turned out to be Pema's, and he followed it, pawsteps soft as he looked for the young woman.
He found her with a smile on her face, and couldn't resist a smile in turn. This must be a boon to the healer; he'd seen no less than four or five different herbs hidden in nooks and crannies on the path leading into the woods, thriving even in the last clutches of winter.
"This place is wonderful," Shale remarked, after giving Pema a low, gentle chuff to make her aware of his presence. "Even if it didn't have all the herbs, it's very pretty."
RE: What a find - Pema - March 13, 2018
She was sniffing around when she heard the familiar voice of Shale behind her. She turned her head as he approached and watched him as he came to her side. They hadn't had a proper conversation since before she got back home. They had been to gatherings together, and they were friendly, but nothing more. Which Pema guessed was alright, at least it wasn't awkward between the two now that they both knew they liked one another. But now the two were alone out here and Pema couldn't help but wonder if he had taken the time to think things over like they had talked about.
She had been asked to think things over too, but she wasn't sure what she should be thinking about. Shale spoke of himself as though he had done bad things, or that he was damaged goods. But he wasn't willing to share why he considered himself in such a way, and so there was nothing to convince Pema that he wouldn't be a good match for her. She was younger then him, but that didn't seem to bother either of them.
She didn't mention it right away, thinking it might spoil the scene, even though it was heavily on her mind. "It is..." she said with a smile, "Though I'm not sure there would be much else if you took all the herbs out. They are just all over the place." she said jokingly. "This is going to be a great resource once the remaining snow melts away." she commented.
She had been asked to think things over too, but she wasn't sure what she should be thinking about. Shale spoke of himself as though he had done bad things, or that he was damaged goods. But he wasn't willing to share why he considered himself in such a way, and so there was nothing to convince Pema that he wouldn't be a good match for her. She was younger then him, but that didn't seem to bother either of them.
She didn't mention it right away, thinking it might spoil the scene, even though it was heavily on her mind. "It is..." she said with a smile, "Though I'm not sure there would be much else if you took all the herbs out. They are just all over the place." she said jokingly. "This is going to be a great resource once the remaining snow melts away." she commented.
RE: What a find - Shale - March 15, 2018
They hadn't been around each other much on the trip north, having been occupied with their own things. This was, perhaps, their first moment alone together in a few weeks. He was glad there wasn't much tension in the air, though he did sense some--but it was only natural, given how their last conversation had ended. . .on a question, not an answer.
"Yes, it will be," Shale agreed, eyes darting around before meeting hers again. "Are you planning on leaving the herbs here to grow and to fetch when needed, or bringing them back to a cache on the plains? Or both?" Both seemed the best option; the forest wasn't too far from the rolling prairie, but emergencies did sometimes require resources directly in reach.
He gave her a warm smile that lingered in the corners of his mouth even as he opened it to speak. "How are you, Pema? Getting used to the new place?" His voice was kind, but formal; he felt as if even the tiniest crack in that formality could open the floodgates of a new conversation, one he didn't want to have. About the future. About them.
RE: What a find - Pema - March 21, 2018
It didn't take her long to think of an answer to his question. "Alittle bit of both I suppose. I'd like to let everything grow here, but also have a small stash in the territory for emergency situations." she explained. Getting over here wouldn't take too long, but if something happened where she needed something right away, it would be good to some curtain things at hand.
He then asked how she was doing, which made her think of their situation, but he eleborated and indirectly made it clear that, that wasn't what he was asking about. "Good... Good. I place is alot different from the plateau, but I'm ajusting. I'm hoping to find more special places like this one close to home. The plains are a bit barren..." she said unsure of their new home.
"What about you? Do you like the plains?" she asked, wondering his prospective on the situation.
He then asked how she was doing, which made her think of their situation, but he eleborated and indirectly made it clear that, that wasn't what he was asking about. "Good... Good. I place is alot different from the plateau, but I'm ajusting. I'm hoping to find more special places like this one close to home. The plains are a bit barren..." she said unsure of their new home.
"What about you? Do you like the plains?" she asked, wondering his prospective on the situation.
RE: What a find - Shale - March 27, 2018
sorry for the wait on this, Raven
He wasn't surprised when she picked the best of both worlds; Pema was a smart young woman, after all. He gave her a relaxed smile, nodding. "Yeah, that makes sense," he agreed. "Do you want some help gathering some of it to bring back today?" He figured she'd appreciate his company, and perhaps they could soothe the sore spots from where they'd left off.
"I do," Shale said in answer to her question, lifting his eyes to the canopy. "Though this place isn't so bad, either. But I love the open space--perfect for deer hunting." Or elk, if they happened to roam through here. The spring could bring with it a whole host of new and interesting fauna for them to pursue.
He looked back down at Pema, flicking one ear in concern. "You're not quite sold on it, are you?" he asked gently, not having missed her hesitation. "The plains, I mean." His mouth twitched in a troubled fashion. He knew that Dawn's mate, Aditya, kept to the Maplewood, and others preferred the cover as well. Was Morningside experiencing internal strife because of territory?
He hoped not.
RE: What a find - Pema - March 30, 2018
That's ok. I'm behind too.
She thought it was kind to offer his help, and though she liked his company - very much - she still felt a bit strange after their last conversation. She wasn't sure if he had changed his mind, and if he hadn't what that would mean now. "Oh, Thank you, but I hadn't had a chance to make a cache spot for them yet. I wouldn't want them to go bad or get lost." she said with a faint smile. Though her statement was true, it more then likely wouldn't have stopped her in another situation.
She nodded along to what her was saying, but he could sence her hesitation about the new territory and asked her about it. "Not quite" she said with a hesitant smile, almost embarrased. "I'll get used to it though. I kinda have to. Some things are just out of our control." she said earnestly, but then realized that she may not have been talking about the territory. "But it will be great for Grayday." she said with a sudden spark of energy. "He won't have to bump into so many things. Though I imagine he still will from time to time with the unfamiliar surroundings." she commented.
She thought it was kind to offer his help, and though she liked his company - very much - she still felt a bit strange after their last conversation. She wasn't sure if he had changed his mind, and if he hadn't what that would mean now. "Oh, Thank you, but I hadn't had a chance to make a cache spot for them yet. I wouldn't want them to go bad or get lost." she said with a faint smile. Though her statement was true, it more then likely wouldn't have stopped her in another situation.
She nodded along to what her was saying, but he could sence her hesitation about the new territory and asked her about it. "Not quite" she said with a hesitant smile, almost embarrased. "I'll get used to it though. I kinda have to. Some things are just out of our control." she said earnestly, but then realized that she may not have been talking about the territory. "But it will be great for Grayday." she said with a sudden spark of energy. "He won't have to bump into so many things. Though I imagine he still will from time to time with the unfamiliar surroundings." she commented.
RE: What a find - Shale - April 02, 2018
"True," he agreed politely, dipping his muzzle in deference. Though not completely clueless on the subject of herbs, he had forgotten about the possibility of them spoiling with time, or, in this case, bad keeping. Herb-gathering would have given them something to do, and now he stood here awkwardly, blinking at her.
He laughed gently as she spoke of Grayday, nodding along with her words. "He's not doing too badly, all things considered," Shale chuckled. "Perhaps better than I'd be doing, under the circumstances."
He gave a gentle hum as he moved to sit beside her, amber eyes taking in the scenery as they rested in silence for a little while. A sudden thought came to his mind, maybe thinking of the last conversation he'd had with Grayday regarding Pema, and he looked over at her, a rueful smile coming to his face.
"Planning on visiting Murdock, now that we live closer to Easthollow?" He wondered whether he ought to visit his older brother; it had been a couple moons, and Shale was curious to see how the man had fared this winter.
RE: What a find - Pema - April 07, 2018
He nodded and laughed along with what she said, but she wasn't sure if it was because he thought it was funny or because he was trying to break the silence. In either case she agreed with what he was saying. She had heard about how others had adapted to vision loss, but to see it was another thing. At first it was hard but he had evolved from that point.
His next comment took her off guard for a moment, but it did a good job of distracting her from the questions she was dying to ask. She rolled her eyes of a moment before speaking, "Goodness he has not crossed my mind in a long time. I havn't seen him since you and him came to visit that first time. I didn't even see him when I went to Easthollow last." she avoided bringing up the topic of Burr's return. But it was alot easier to think of it now. "To answer your question though, no. I hadn't planned on it. But I'm sure it will be alot easier for all of you brothers to get together now."
His next comment took her off guard for a moment, but it did a good job of distracting her from the questions she was dying to ask. She rolled her eyes of a moment before speaking, "Goodness he has not crossed my mind in a long time. I havn't seen him since you and him came to visit that first time. I didn't even see him when I went to Easthollow last." she avoided bringing up the topic of Burr's return. But it was alot easier to think of it now. "To answer your question though, no. I hadn't planned on it. But I'm sure it will be alot easier for all of you brothers to get together now."
RE: What a find - Shale - April 08, 2018
Shale laughed at her remark, shaking his head. "Trust me, there's no love lost between Day and Mur," he explained, smirking. "And as much as I'd like to see Murdock, I'm sure he's busy with his own life." He gave her a long look, trying to puzzle out her expression.
So she hadn't specifically sought out Murdock when she'd gone to Easthollow. He knew that there was a lot involved in that trip, what with Burr's untimely demise, but surely, if she was interested at all, she'd have found the time to see him?
It put him slightly at ease. Day clearly was not a fan of their older brother--and maybe knew more than what he had let on--and it made his stomach turn a bit to think of the girl with Murdock. If I won't have her, no one will, chimed a small voice in his head. He frowned, mentally shaking away that sentiment.
"We should talk about what happened in the vale," Shale finally said, coming right out with what was clearly on both of their minds. It was going to come up, anyway.
RE: What a find - Pema - April 10, 2018
She wasn't sure right away, but now she knew that Shale had been joking with her about her pack encounters with Murdock. She didn't think that Murdock was a bad guy, but then again it was hard for Pema to see anyone as a bad person. But she definatly didn't have the best few of him. And it spoke words that not even his own family was eager to see him. Not that they didn't love him, but that he could be hard at times.
She gave him a smile and waited in the silence. The silence that spoke more then words did in that moment. She was thinking of thier time at the Vale and she assumed it was also on him mind. But maybe he had already made his decision and hadn't thought of anything new since thier last conversation. She had been daring that one time and it hadn't gotten her very far, so she was releaved when he was the one to bring it up and not her.
She wasn't sure what to say right off the bat, "Yeah?" she asked in an unsure voice. "I don't suppose you've changed your mind have you?" she asked trying not to get her hoped up, but unable to deny how she so badly wanted him to have changed his mind.
She gave him a smile and waited in the silence. The silence that spoke more then words did in that moment. She was thinking of thier time at the Vale and she assumed it was also on him mind. But maybe he had already made his decision and hadn't thought of anything new since thier last conversation. She had been daring that one time and it hadn't gotten her very far, so she was releaved when he was the one to bring it up and not her.
She wasn't sure what to say right off the bat, "Yeah?" she asked in an unsure voice. "I don't suppose you've changed your mind have you?" she asked trying not to get her hoped up, but unable to deny how she so badly wanted him to have changed his mind.
RE: What a find - Shale - April 10, 2018
He let out a breath, half-sigh, half-chuckle. He shrugged, unwilling to give her an answer one way or the other. This wasn't black and white, this wasn't simple, no matter how badly he wanted it to be. Tell her "yes" or "no"; either way, he'd be lying.
"I don't know, Pema," Shale murmured, eyes fixed on her face. She had a beautiful face, open and kind, with eyes calm as the morning sky, lit by the rising sun. Soothing, a balm to any tortured soul lost in them. And gods knew his soul was tortured. "It's not. . .it's not easy. Love. And I'm scared to jump into it again. Scared to have something to lose, again."
"Maybe you should just, I dunno, forget about me," he said, looking away in shame. "You don't deserve to be strung along."
RE: What a find - Pema - April 14, 2018
She had hoped for another answer, but she suspected that Shale knew that. She looked at him for a few moments not sure what to say or how to respond. He was such a nice man, caring to others, handsome, experienced, and yet he didn't seem to think himself worthy. Pema didn't think herself some special catch, average at best. She just didn't understand it and she wasn't sure if there was anything should could do about it. She could try to convince him otherwise, but that hadn't worked in the past and she sumized that it wouldn't work the second time she tried.
She still didn't agree with him, but it wasn't as though they could be together with only one of their concents. So instead of plea, or try to reason with him, which was a common Pema move she decided that this was a lost cause. After moments of silence she spoke, "I don't know what to say Shale. Nothing I say can seem to convince you otherwise." she said regretfully. "I guess it was silly of me to think that it would. To think that if I just gave you enough time you would be able to..." she sighed. "Well consider your feelings spared. I won't ask about it again." she said, ready to simply leave.
There wasn't any reason for her to stay here. She would need a den before grabbing anything necessary, and she really needed get out of here. Away from him. It was just too much for her.
She still didn't agree with him, but it wasn't as though they could be together with only one of their concents. So instead of plea, or try to reason with him, which was a common Pema move she decided that this was a lost cause. After moments of silence she spoke, "I don't know what to say Shale. Nothing I say can seem to convince you otherwise." she said regretfully. "I guess it was silly of me to think that it would. To think that if I just gave you enough time you would be able to..." she sighed. "Well consider your feelings spared. I won't ask about it again." she said, ready to simply leave.
There wasn't any reason for her to stay here. She would need a den before grabbing anything necessary, and she really needed get out of here. Away from him. It was just too much for her.
RE: What a find - Shale - April 14, 2018
The resignation in her voice wounded him greatly, and he looked at her, mouth half-open as if to offer a rebuttal--but the words wouldn't come. None of this was her fault. Had they met in a different place, at a different time. . .things would be different. And if she were some temptress like Samaantine that he'd be fine with fucking and fleeing. . .things would be different.
But this girl, this beautiful, kind girl--she didn't deserve his ambivalence. Nor the ghosts that danced in his dreams, night after night.
Her parting words, though, sparked a fire in him, and as she turned to leave, he raced toward her, half-blocking her path out of the glade. "My feelings?" Shale asked, voice incredulous. "You think this is about my feelings? Pema, if it were about my feelings, you would be mine, this instant!" A heady mixture of anger and insult swam through his brain, and he blinked, trying to calm his thoughts.
"It's for you that I'm choosing to let you go. It's so I don't hurt you. You think I'm doing this for me?!"
RE: What a find - Pema - April 15, 2018
She was ready to leave, maybe not even go back to the territory, just away from this place. Away from Shale and his uncomprehensible logic. But then shockingly before she could leave Shale stood infront of her and looked at her in a disbelieving mannor. He instisted that her words were inacurrate. That he wasn't doing this for himself but for her. It was both confusing and angering to hear his word. To hear that by doing the opposite of what she wanted that he was doing this for her. That the whole reason he wouldn't allow himself to have her was bacause he was afraid to loose her of hurt her. It didn't all add up in Pema's frame of mind. She felt desired and wanted when he stated that she would be his, but frustrated that he had found another way to make it so that wouldn't happen.
"Dammit Shale then have me! Right now. Declare me yours and I will be it." she said strong willed as she stepped towards him with deep longing in her eyes. "You don't want to let me go. Look at yourself. Standing before me, hindering me from leaving. And I don't want to leave. But your fear of losing someone else is preventing this. Your and my collective desires." she said heatedly speaking so passionately that she might forget to breathe. "You may think that by sheilding your heart you are sparing my feelings, but denying me it already hurts." she said, her insides wanting to scream out.
She didn't know why this hurt to much. Wanting something but being able to have it. Getting to close everytime but it continuiously being out of reach. And the very thing you want being the same thing creating an obsticle.
"Dammit Shale then have me! Right now. Declare me yours and I will be it." she said strong willed as she stepped towards him with deep longing in her eyes. "You don't want to let me go. Look at yourself. Standing before me, hindering me from leaving. And I don't want to leave. But your fear of losing someone else is preventing this. Your and my collective desires." she said heatedly speaking so passionately that she might forget to breathe. "You may think that by sheilding your heart you are sparing my feelings, but denying me it already hurts." she said, her insides wanting to scream out.
She didn't know why this hurt to much. Wanting something but being able to have it. Getting to close everytime but it continuiously being out of reach. And the very thing you want being the same thing creating an obsticle.
RE: What a find - Shale - April 15, 2018
She was fighting back--that was good. In an incredibly warped way, that was good. The longing in her eyes squeezed his heart, and for a brief instant, he considered rushing into her embrace, his body warring with his mind. He kept steady, though, looking at her as she spoke, not daring to cut her off until she'd exhausted her words.
Pema fell silent, and Shale blinked at her, his breath coming hard and fast. "Pema," he said hoarsely, voice dropped an octave lower than usual. It rang of pain, frustration. . .fear. He swallowed, almost panting from the panic that rose suddenly within like a cresting wave. "Pema, you don't understand. I. . ."
"I can't."
The tiny black seed spilled from the corner of her mouth, rolling for a second across the ground before coming to a stop. With a sobbing breath, he clutched it between his teeth again, nosing against her trembling muzzle.
"Please," he pleaded, throat tight with grief. It was the end.
"I. . .can't." She had grown too weak; even the desire to end the pain was gone. Her ribs, starkly visible against the dull brown of her pelt, rose and fell infinitesimally--she barely breathed.
"Don't leave me," Shale begged.
The flashback took him unawares, and his knees buckled; only by sheer force of will did he remain standing. A shudder ran through his body, the taste of poppies heavy on his tongue. He rolled his eyes skyward, and only then did he realize they stood in the shade of an alder tree.
Lucy.
"You would be scared, too," he whispered, his shattered gaze returning to her face.
RE: What a find - Pema - April 15, 2018
She couldn't help but notice the change in his emotion and tone. She couldn't quite describe it. It was less harsh, but still rather energized. He was still very frustrated, more then likely from this continuiously circling coversation, but she didn't see his anger. He seemed scared. And even though Pema wanted to be mad at him for all the pain that this was causing her, she couldn't stop her natural tendency to comfort and help.
She tried to take herself out of the equation for a moment. Thinking that whatever was stopping him from being with her was the same thing that would stop him from being with others. She took a deep breathe to calm herself, so that hopfully she could get him to do that same. "Shale you're right... I don't understand... There is something inside you that you seem to be keep hidden and it is tearing you apart... And I want to help. I want to be able to... to free you from these feeling. And I know I probably can't, but I know that there is no chance if you don't tell me something." she said trying to speak calmly though she wanted to plea for him to speak to her.
She tried to take herself out of the equation for a moment. Thinking that whatever was stopping him from being with her was the same thing that would stop him from being with others. She took a deep breathe to calm herself, so that hopfully she could get him to do that same. "Shale you're right... I don't understand... There is something inside you that you seem to be keep hidden and it is tearing you apart... And I want to help. I want to be able to... to free you from these feeling. And I know I probably can't, but I know that there is no chance if you don't tell me something." she said trying to speak calmly though she wanted to plea for him to speak to her.
RE: What a find - Shale - April 19, 2018
Shock morphed into exasperation, and he gave her a stunned stare, taking in her words. Tell me something. Those words rattled around in his head, incessant. Exasperation gave way to anger, and he took a step back from her, brows drawing down and together as he frowned.
"I have told you something--I told you everything!" Shale snapped, his copper gaze growing darker still. "About how I watched my own children, my own wife, starve--and I was powerless to stop it. I fucking told you! You knew before everyone here. Even Grayday."
He stalked away, taking a few heated steps before turning back, looking at her, his face drawn. "How can you not understand?" he demanded, continuing to pace back and forth before her. "You don't just forget something like that, you don't just move on from seeing something like that. You can't--stop--seeing--it!" His voice, which started out low, rose to a harsh tenor yell with his last utterance, each word vicious and percussive.
Shale let out a breath much like a sob, hanging his head, staring at the ground. Then he looked at her, and said, "And every time I think of you the way I think of her, I see you die, too." He swallowed thickly. "And I'm powerless to stop it."
With one final, angry lash of his tail, he trotted out of the forest, leaving Pema to digest the gravity of both his words and the tone in which he'd delivered them.
RE: What a find - Pema - April 20, 2018
She had tried to be simpathetic towards him but instead she was meet with this sudden surge of aggression. A part of her was angry when he lasted out and cursed at her, but she also felt guilty and sad. She hadn't forgotten what he told her about his wife and children, but it just seemed like there had to be more to it then that. It had been so long ago that even though it was something that would remain on his mind, she didn't think it would continue to effect him in his current life.
She heard what he was saying, but not having experienced it before it was hard for her to comprehend how long it would take to move on from something like that, if it was every possible. But in her pleading mind it had been long enough, but that clearly wasn't her call. She remained quiet as he spoke taking in everything that she said with a shocked look on her face, earns tucked nerviously back.
He thought that what had happened to his wife would happen to her, which made her feel as though he cared for her, but it made no logical sence. But this was a matter of the heart not the mind. She still felt bad for him but his words were harsh and she personalized them. She took them personally and thought him to be mad at her. Had she pushed too hard once again, had she made things even worse? Why had she tried so hard and why hadn't it worked?
Her mind was filled with questions and unfamilir feelings that once Shale left she fell to the ground. Breathing heavy fighting back the urge to cry.
She heard what he was saying, but not having experienced it before it was hard for her to comprehend how long it would take to move on from something like that, if it was every possible. But in her pleading mind it had been long enough, but that clearly wasn't her call. She remained quiet as he spoke taking in everything that she said with a shocked look on her face, earns tucked nerviously back.
He thought that what had happened to his wife would happen to her, which made her feel as though he cared for her, but it made no logical sence. But this was a matter of the heart not the mind. She still felt bad for him but his words were harsh and she personalized them. She took them personally and thought him to be mad at her. Had she pushed too hard once again, had she made things even worse? Why had she tried so hard and why hadn't it worked?
Her mind was filled with questions and unfamilir feelings that once Shale left she fell to the ground. Breathing heavy fighting back the urge to cry.