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+--- Thread: Northstar Vale i lie inside myself for hours (/showthread.php?tid=26303)
i lie inside myself for hours - Euron - March 20, 2018
The boy had continued to sequester himself away from the pack and had done little. He barely ate and rarely left the small depression of a bed he had made for himself beneath an undercut bank. Once more, there were objects arranged in neat piles around him, and protruding roots and twigs had all been clipped off so that they were of even length. The ground had been carefully swept so that he laid on bare earth free of any stone or leaf or debris. There was an unnatural sense of orderliness to his nest, and yet, despite all this strange effort, he was unable to sleep. His face was gaunt with hunger, his eyes sunken and weary.
He got to his paws and started to move. He knew where he was going, but he objected.
"I'm not thirsty."
"Yes, you are."
Euron sulked. He willed himself to twitch his tail or flex his toes but could do neither of those things and could only watch at his paws carried him stiffly toward a nearby stream. This kept happening; he routinely found himself trapped behind his own eyes, confined to his own skull. It was mostly only because of this that he ate or drank or moved at all; as was the case now. He was beginning to recognize a pattern, but struggled to grasp what was happening.
"I don't understand."
"You will."
He was at the stream. His head lowered toward a swath of open water where the ice had been unable to hold, and for the first time he beheld his own reflection. He gasped, but like the words he wanted to say, the sound existed only in his head.
"Who are you? How are you in there?"
The face peered back at him, but in the murk of the water only the brightness of a silver eye was apparent. It blinked once.
"I am you."
"No, you are not."
"Yes, I am."
His tongue lapped at the water, and he could feel the thirst he did not want to admit to be quenched, and a sort of relief fell across him. He drank more and then was sitting down. He shut his eyes, but reopened them as the sound of a twig snapping drew his attention. He turned his head, abruptly jumping back when he realized from the corner of his eye that his reflection moved. That he had moved. Immediately, Euron wiggled his toes and lifted his paw to watch them obey his will.
He narrowed his eyes on his reflection then. Every twitch and movement he made was mimicked in the water by the wolf with the silver eye and he crinkled his nose. "Stop that!" He demanded, and when his mirror image shouted back at him he growled and smacked it with paw. The water was shallow, and his action stirred the sediment and clouded the stream. The other wolf was gone, and he was alone. Tired, mentally and physically, he laid down with a sigh.
Gradually, the stream settled, and he found himself looking on his own face again.
"Which one of us is me?" He asked.
But the wolf did not answer him.
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Ariel - March 21, 2018
although he'd spoken to jomyo of his idea of mostly leaving the kids alone while they mourned, he does wonder if it's time to check in with them. delight, having no practical experience with children and still slightly offput by the circumstances under which they arrived, would rather die, but hey. he's gotta put on his morwinyon hat with them eventually. they aren't going anywhere -- hell, they had plenty of chances during the move and stuck around -- so they're tindome.
resolving that, he keeps an eye out for one or both on his morning walk. the androgyne doesnt need to look hard: a small shouting voice catches his attention and he makes his way to the scene hastily, worried at once something's happening. what he finds is the not-deformed one (thank god), apparently upset by the water -- ? delight makes a small noise to announce his presence, his head tilting. "it's your reflection," he says, maybe an answer to the question euron posed, maybe an awkward attempt at figuring out what's unsettled the boy.
ooc: phone post!! sorry4awkward grammar
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Euron - March 26, 2018
Euron turned his head and drew his ears forward as Delight approached him with an answer. The boy would have been more inclined to ignore the other wolf or make himself scarce were it not for that. He licked his lips and glanced back at the image in the water. "Reflection?" He echoed as he narrowed his eyes in scrutiny. "He thinks he is me." Euron said, making known his disdain for the notion with a half-snort as he turned himself toward Delight.
He offered the male his intrigued attention. "How are you knowing about reflections?" Euron asked as he chewed his cheek. Suspicion glittered in his eyes. "Do you have one?"
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Ariel - March 28, 2018
remaining oblivious to the child's internal struggle, delight tilts his head curiously. "he is you," he says, taking a few small steps forward so that he is by the line of the water too.
"yeah," the morwinyon answers, glancing at the water where his own reflection looks out. "see? it's like.. a shadow, conceptually, i guess." he's not exactly brushed up on the science or magic or whatever makes reflections happen, but certainly there is a poetic value that delight can appreciate. his reflection turns toward the boy as he does, raising an eyebrow as he wonders how he'll process this information.
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Euron - April 08, 2018
"He is you."
Euron narrowed his eyes. He wanted to argue, but he had no argument to make. He did not trust Delight in any significant capacity, but he was still a pup, and some part of him wanted to believe what an older and more experienced wolf told him even if he disliked the notion.
The boy's eyes fell to the water, where another wolf had appeared beside the imposter as Delight stepped up side him. Euron's brows lifted in surprise, and when he turned to look upon Tindome's leader again, there was spark of wonder and a curiosity, and a dozen questions writ upon his face as he searched Delight's expression for answers. The boy sat neatly with his small paws together, and his tail tucked around his haunch.
"Okay," he said. "You are knowing things. I want to know things." Euron had never met anyone that had a "reflection" like him; unfortunately, he would never have the chance to learn just similar to his father he was. "Does your reflection talk to you?"
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Ariel - April 10, 2018
he can't help the flicker of superiority that runs through him, watching the boy's expression change. showing up a kid probably shouldn't make him feel smug -- but he's never claimed to be a proper grown up.
the smugness is fleeting, replaced by the uncanny sensation that he's just passed some sort of test he didn't know he was taking. delight squirms, unable to quite focus on the open expression on euron's face. he looks at the water instead, meeting the eyes of his own reflection until euron speaks. it's not what he expects and he can't help but sneak a sideways glance. delight also wants to be knowing things, as it turns out. he can get behind that.
the question confuses him for a second. without context for euron's thoughts, he says, "i guess," thinking of the reflect's mouth moving in tandem with his speech. more thoughtfully, slightly tangentially, he adds, "i do talk to myself a lot though."
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Euron - April 16, 2018
"Hmm." Euron contemplated Delight's answer with a thoughtful bob of his head, taking another glance at the pair of reflections in the water. "Do you answer yourself?" He raised a brow as he looked back at the pack leader. He was not even sure what he was asking, but he did not leave room for answer anyway before he crinkled his nose and continued. "My reflection does things that I do not want to do," he said. "He is different." Euron directed a derogatory sniff at his mirror image.
"I do not like him."
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Ariel - April 21, 2018
somewhere, somehow, delight's lost the thread, blinking at the strange little creature before him. he still thinks they're just talking about reflections on the water, but clearly euron's on some other level with that "does things i don't want to do" bit. delight's never met psychosis: he doesn't really know what it'd look like.
so he rolls with it. kids, they're weird. "that's.. not good," he says, trying for -- neutral, at least. "what does... your reflection do?" the morwinyon tries, glancing to the water. it feels... important, somehow, to ask, to know, though why, he couldn't say in words.
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Euron - April 27, 2018
"Why not?" He asked instantly. He shared Delight's opinion — he believed his reflection to be a nuisance, and obstacle, and had already openly opined that he did not like it. But as he struggled to understand what he was dealing with, he could not help but grasp for information.
"He brought me here." Euron stated with a small shrug of his slender shoulders. "He said I was thirsty. I did not want to come here. He also—" The young wolf took a step back, narrowing his eyes in momentary suspicion. He was suddenly cognizant of his roots as a spy, the gatherer of information, and had become shy about revealing any more.
"Nevermind," he said, shaking his head.
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Ariel - May 06, 2018
oh jeez. he doesn't want to inadvertently crush the child's creativity or like, scar him for life by saying the wrong thing, but also, isn't it sort of obvious? especially once he keeps talking, addressing the reflection like it has actual physical power over him. slowly delight clues in that they have not been talking about the same things at all.
"well," the morwinyon begins, his voice careful. "maybe you shouldn't let.. him.. control you like that. you're the one in charge of yourself." delight can't quite get his mind around the 'he brought me here' bit, and still doesn't quite know how euron means it. to him it seems like an elaborate and weird way to deflect responsibility for himself. or trauma? maybe trauma. kid's surely got trauma. "it's not good to not, um, be in control of yourself," he adds, watching the boy cautiously.
RE: i lie inside myself for hours - Euron - May 12, 2018
Hmm.
Delight had a point. One that burrowed deep within his mind and brought a thoughtful expression to his face and a slight bob of agreement to his muzzle.
"I am going to go." He said, stretching and curling his toes with a pointed look down at them. Euron gave Delight one last glance before he slipped into the cover and furtively made tracks through the territory in search of his brother.