+- Wolf RPG (https://wolf-rpg.com)
+-- Forum: In Character: Roleplaying (https://wolf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: Archives (https://wolf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11)
+--- Thread: Dragoncrest Cliffs do androids dream of electric sheep? (/showthread.php?tid=27068)
do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 05, 2018
Vague. Set 3-4 days after this thread. All welcome.
Her days of seclusion come and go all the same. She wakes up, checks the northern border—mostly so they know she’s still there—and fills her days with sleeping, or wandering, or sitting by the cliffs and listening to the ocean crash against the titan of stone they live on. She doesn’t sleep in the same place two nights in a row, should someone attempt to look for her, and she does her best to avoid everyone at all costs.
The sun is high in the sky late in the morning and she’s found a clearing along a northern cliff. She isn’t entirely asleep, but her mind is somewhere else, listening to the sound of the ocean below. Her fur absorbs the heat, keeping her warm despite the chill the ocean air brings in, ruffling her fur every so often. With her days no longer filled with @Blixen, nor @Rose, she doesn’t know what to do with herself most of the time and her own set of worries, never quite relieved, keeps her from trying to reconcile with either one of them.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 05, 2018
The warmer days brought a smile to the russet girl's face like nothing else good. Spring meant green would once return and with it would come the herbs she sought. Her days would be filled with hours of experimentation and garden tending and she would without a doubt be filled joy. Or at least that's how she'd like her days to go about.
Recent drama had made that smile off hers fall off her face like an anvil. Ever since her conversation with Blixen, Rose's mind had been swarmed with thoughts she didn't want to concern herself with and the ever present question of did she like it here kept playing in the back of her mind like a bad song put on loop. She was tired of worrying herself over the events that had unfolded, but anxiety seemed to have a mind if it's own.
Perhaps she should get away for a bit? Recent free time had given her a chance to think about what she wanted. Maybe she should try to find Hawthorne? Last she'd seen him he'd decided to leave with Kieran. She didn't understand why he'd chosen his friend over her back then. She got it now. Family were the ones you were born to, friends were the ones you chose. Maybe that's why it hurt so much more when they decided to leave you. *cough* I'm looking at you Furi *cough*
Speaking of Furi, Rose was mid-step when she caught onto the Gona's trail and for a moment she hesitated following it. Did she want to see her friend right now? Were they even friends anymore? She paused for a moment at that thought, a little surprised it had even crossed her mind. She sucked in a breath and held it for a while before finally taking a step along the trial. It didn't matter what anyone else wanted in that moment -- she wanted answers and she was determined to get them.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 05, 2018
The wind does not blow in her favor, brushing by her and carrying Rose’s scent further away. Her impending arrival goes unnoticed by the girl, eyes close and breathing slow—she may as well have been sleeping—but she drifts between existence. Anxiety keeps her from ultimately falling asleep but she has no other energy to do anything else and so she lays there, somewhere in limbo, while more emotional danger is on the cusp. One ear twitches at the sound of footfalls but her mind doesn’t latch onto it yet, leaving her oblivious to the fiery girl’s arrival.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 05, 2018
It takes a few minutes before Furi's form comes into view, and when it finally does Rose stops herself from getting any closer. It feels like no matter how this interaction goes, be it good or bad, things will never be the same between them and that was kind of terrifying. She tries to convince herself she's just over thinking this, but Rose has never thought herself to be very persuasive.
"Hey" she calls out sharply, tone lacking the usual tenderness in her voice while she takes a few steps to close the distance between them. Her posture isn't exactly unfriendly, but anyone with eyes could see she hadn't come here to talk about your usual everyday topics. In fact, Rose doesn't even bother trying to break the tension in the air before she hurls her question towards the Gona. "Why have you been avoiding me?"
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 05, 2018
The moment Rose’s voice cuts through the air, Furi’s heart sinks in her chest. Instantly, she bolts upright and shuffles to face her friend. She blinks several times, pulling herself back to reality so she can face the inevitable. It has been a matter of time and eventually, someone would seek her out. The only way to hide forever would be to leave but is that what she wants to know? Needs to do? Something isn’t right here, she knows that, but facing the problem head on isn’t her first choice.
“Because… I’m not—” she pauses, slowly lifting herself to stand. Once upon a time she’d close the rest of the distance and embrace her but the fiery girl has a force-field between them and she stumbles over her thoughts. “I’m sorry,” she tells her, with a frown, head lowering and her gaze droops to the ground. “I’m not avoiding you,” she adds, swimming around somewhere in a half-truth, “I’ve been… hiding, I guess.”
Totally not the same thing.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 05, 2018
Furi's answers confuse the Kru more than they relieve her. "Hiding from what?" she snaps, teeth clacking against each other. "From me?!" she adds on after a moment, tail lashing behind her while she takes a few heated steps towards the Gona. She already knows the answer, or at least thinks she knows the answer, and it was because of that reason alone that she felt so much frustration.
If this sudden vanishing act Furi was pulling was all because of Blixen, Rose wasn't exactly sure what she'd do, she just knew it wouldn't be good. Nothing positive ever came out of the russet girl's emotional outbursts and this one was bound to be no different. Rose only hoped that there was some other factor that had driven the Gona away from Drageda so often these days.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 05, 2018
Her ears fly back against her head when teeth are clacked in her direction. She flinches when her voice rises and she looks away, knowing she won’t have a good enough answer. She doesn’t even have an answer. She’s failed the girl from the beginning, bringing her into a pack (Blixen) that didn’t fully accept her right away and then she goes to war (for Blixen) and doesn’t realize her friend is missing because she’s distracted (because of Blixen. But also Arrille). And now, breaking up with Blixen has negatively effective her and Rose but if she’d gone to Rose after Blixen accused her of it, how does that make her look (to Blixen)? She never considered how it would make Rose feel.
“Because I’m not good enough,” she says quietly, unable to bring her gaze up. The girl’s heated steps are matched with her shrinking back. She runs away from Blixen, hides from Rose. Aviana rejects her and tosses her aside and Artaax, well… she swallows a hard lump. “Something’s wrong with me and I don’t know how to fix it,” she says, wishing she had Ingram by her side to hold her hand through this. He manages to give her comfort, finding it easy to talk to him, but why not with the wolves she is closest to, who she cares about the most?
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 05, 2018
Every bit of anger she felt towards the girl immediately left her the second Furi said there was something wrong. Rose, being a total pessimist, instantly thought of the worst things that could come to mind and felt a cold chill run up her spine. You're supposed to be angry not worried she reminded herself but quickly shooed away the thought.
"I can't try to help you if you hide from me" she let out, trying her hardest not to sound like she was still upset. She wanted to look away, because for some reason that made these types of conversations so much easier, but she didn't. She just stood there watching her friend, torn between staying where she was and approaching.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 05, 2018
Not being able to see her expression leaves a heavy anvil in her chest, weighing her down. Surely she is disappointed, likely hates her for what she’s put her through. Furi has lead her astray from every stop along the way.
I can’t try to help you if you hide from me.
Furi whines and sweeps her tail against her haunches, low enough to touch the ground. It’s enough that maybe she hasn’t ruined everything (yet) and she slowly closes the distance and, if allowed, her nose to angle up against her chin with a few apologetic kisses.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 05, 2018
Thankfully Rose didn't have to make the choice to approach or not because Furi made it for her. Her stare softened at her friend's posture while some guilt began to swirl around in her stomach. She should have handled this better. Shouldn't have been so rude.
"Now..." she starts, taking a step back after her apology had been received. "Tell me what's wrong." She hadn't gotten the answer to her earlier question but that could all be put on hold for now. What mattered most was figuring out what was wrong with her friend, and letting the younger girl know that no matter what, she would be there for her.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 07, 2018
Rose accepts the closeness; the touch, the kisses, the apology. It is short lived and Furi whines a second time when space is put back between them. She expects more from her. Ears flatten back against her head and she looks away, still feeling raw and helpless. She’d been confused before but since breaking it off with Blixen, it has only gotten worse. Her interactions with others tend to make things difficult and she just… needs somewhere to put them.
Ingram tried his best to understand and she takes his advice and support as best he can, but here? Where she’s been dishonest from the beginning? The relationship she has with Rose has always been a weird one, especially discovering Blixen’s jealousy of her and the weird interaction from the other day.
“You can’t tell anyone, okay?” she pleads, slowly lowering to the ground, hoping Rose will follow suit so she can find comfort in her presence, even if they aren’t nose to nose. In a way, they’ve always been the same. Outsiders. Furi may have found her place in Drageda, in a some weird way, but it doesn’t feel right. “I get… really nervous sometimes. I panic and I can’t breathe and everything is dizzy and sometimes it gets worse, if something happens or…” she pauses, feeling her heartrate speed up and beat hard against her ribcage, trying to keep her breathing steady so it doesn’t happen again.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 07, 2018
Her tail, which had remained stiff throughout most of this conversation, finally began to give a slow wag in a silent show of comfort and encouragement to her friend. She understood how difficult it could be to open up to others, almost felt like slinking away to her den just thinking about it, but there was a breaking point for everyone and Rose somehow wished to steer Furi away from that edge if she could.
She gave a single nod in response to the request to remain silent and true to her word, Rose intended to keep whatever was shared between them a secret. She waists no time in mimicking the girl’s posture and when the words finally began to roll off the her friend’s tongue a quite, barely audible sigh of relief slips pass the russet Kru’s lips. She had thought Furi was going to die or something, not share that.
Rose moves without even thinking, leaning over to let her shoulder rest against whatever of Furi’s was sturdiest in that moment. “It happens to me too” came her hushed confession, attention focused on a broken stick that lied maybe five feet away. “When I try to talk about...feelings or open up like right now” she begins, feeling the anxiety levels rise with each word. “It feels like someone is sitting on my chest” was her best way of describing the sudden fear that swept over her.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 07, 2018
The few people she’s told has never had the response Rose has and somehow it’s… okay. Seri and Ingram didn’t exactly understand what she tried to say but if the other girl feels the same way, then maybe they can find a solution?
Furi glances up when Rose moves; she closes her eyes and leans into it. Her head moves around to place a kiss on her cheek. “I’m sorry...” she murmurs.
“After Blixen… I just, I don’t know,” she starts, not realizing it’s probably the last thing the girl wants to talk about, but she needs to get it off her chest before she explodes. Rose has to know where she fits into this, right? “I still like her,” she tells her though keeps the pause short, feeling her heart pound faster in her chest. “And I like you, too. A lot. But it’s not the same and it feels like I can’t have both, like it’s wrong to have both.”
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 07, 2018
There was comfort like nothing else when you find out you aren’t the only one dealing with a flaw in your life. For Rose it meant a great ordeal. There was regret for not being open like this sooner, there was sadness that Furi experienced the same trouble she faced, and then there was relief in finding out she wasn’t the only one who struggled with this anxiety. It was still there and it didn’t feel like it was going away any time soon, but at least she knew she wasn’t alone in this.
A smile finds it’s way to her lips with the apology and kiss but it doesn’t last long before it slithers away as quickly as it came. She didn’t mind talking about Blixen, but her past conversation with the Gona still pops up in her mind and gives her a headache whenever she thinks about it. She doesn’t want to think back to that so she doesn’t, attention shifting from the stick to a fallen log while her ears twitch atop her head as she listens to the words that seem to buzz in the air around her. In the end she’s left confused and not really sure what to say, so she decides to go with the first thing that popped in her mind. “Why would it be wrong?”
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 07, 2018
Of course, Rose’s warmth disappears as she brings up the other girl. Her own pale eyes close, wishing she had an answer for them being at odds. Maybe if they got along, it wouldn’t feel wrong. Maybe they wouldn’t be here at all.
“She thought I was breaking up with her because of you,” she says, though she doesn’t know what to follow it up with. What does it seem wrong? Blixen has skewed some of her views on relationships since she’s arrived, accepting what the fiery girls thinks is normal, but what if it’s not? “Which… I guess…” she pauses, licking her lips and all of a sudden becoming aware of how dry her mouth is. “I mean, I didn’t,” she confirms, more for herself. Sure, her feelings for Rose have always been on the line and in question but if she didn’t face them; they were simply put on hold.
Despite the coldness at bringing up Blixen, and Rose’s question, she wonders—can she have both? Somehow, she doesn’t think either girl will be up for it, but… maybe. “Do you think it’s wrong to want both?”
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 07, 2018
Rose had never thought that she might be the reason that the pair broke up, I mean why would she? She and Furi were friends, why would that ever get in the way of whatever Blixen and Furi had? “Why would she think that?” she questions looking towards the Gona, brow furrowed while she tried to piece the puzzle together. It didn’t make sense. Her confusion only grew when Furi pauses before confirming she hadn’t broken off the relationship because of her.
And suddenly Rose felt very out of place. Had she done something to push the two apart? She doesn’t recall ever doing anything that might have come between them but if she had, if she was the reason why... She stops to stare at the ground, an attempt at trying to settle the somersaults her stomach was currently doing. She continued to try and wrap her head around why Blixen would think such a thing, almost missing the question that had been tossed her way. “I-I don’t know” was the best she could muster with her mind currently be bombarded with worry and anxiousness.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 07, 2018
“Because… we’re friends, I guess… and,” she pauses, turning her gaze to try and find her soft blue eyes, using her nose to bump her chin. She doesn’t like Rose because she looks like Blixen (right?) and she’s already tried telling her, but what does it matter now? “I don’t know,” she adds, frowning. Talking about things doesn’t always get her somewhere but even if she doesn’t have the answers, maybe… it’s okay.
But life isn’t that easy, is it? She feels no better soothed than a moment ago, expect the shared feelings making it a little more bearable to deal with.
“Me either,” she murmurs, lowering her head so that it crosses over Rose’s front paws. “Why don’t you like her?”
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 07, 2018
Rose really wished she was religious right now because she needed a God who would tell her something since neither her nor Furi knew anything apparently. The I don’t know left an unsettled feeling in her stomach but she doesn’t push for any further answers. Would she have to ask Blixen about it then? That didn’t sound like an appealing idea what how else was she supposed get answers then?
“I don’t not like her” she starts, trying to find the words to describe what it was like when it the presence of the other redhead. “It just feels like there’s a wall between us.” Just one five foot wide steel wall that didn’t feel like it was going to start melting away with the power of friendship anytime soon.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 07, 2018
The answer doesn’t really give her any indication about what she doesn’t like Blixen. In fact, it’s not even that they dislike one another. Is it really over her? There’s no indication from her friend that it is the case and maybe that’s all she can ask for. If she’s the reason for turmoil between the two wolves she cares most about, will she even find happiness? If they are at odds with one another, if she can’t sort her own feelings, then where does it leave them all?
Sometimes when she is with Blixen, she does not consider Rose. And when she is Rose, she easily forgets Blixen. And then, suddenly, she thinks of Artaax and what they had done a few days ago. Does that make things even more complicated? There’s no attachment to the brute aside from his friendship, which is… weird to say the least.
Furi sighs heavily, rubbing her nose against Rose’s leg. “Will you stay here tonight?” she asks. It is still a few hours before nightfall but her loneliness has weighed her down too much, leaving her touch-starved and hungry.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Rose - May 07, 2018
No reply comes which is both comforting and unsettling. She’s glad that they are finished talking about Blixen but the questions that had flooded her head during their conversation still continue to peck away at her. Overall it’s safe to say she has some things to sort out but that could all be put on hold for another time.
“Of course” she responds without a thought, making it sound like that had been the easiest questions asked of her all evening. “I didn’t spend all that time searching for you just to leave you” she says while looking down to stare at the top of Furi’s head. The anger hadn’t been forgotten only pushed to the side, but after their conversation Rose doesn’t feel like bringing up her initial question again and so she settles for the silence instead.
RE: do androids dream of electric sheep? - Mallaidh - May 07, 2018
Of course. I didn’t spend all that time searching for you just to leave you.
Furi releases a breath she doesn’t realize she’s been holding, but relief comes out with it. She relaxes, shifting her weight so she’s a little more comfortable. If she could go back and change things, she would, but she doesn’t know where to make those decisions, only wanting to fix whatever strain is between her two friends (if Blixen is still her friend, of course), but there’s nothing she can do in that moment. Instead, she simply enjoys that one of her relationships isn’t in shards, strewn about carelessly. It’s not the end of the world after all.