no promise sweeter than a blood pact, nothing harder to go through with than a vanishing act
no morning colder than the first frost, no friends closer than the one's we've lost

at first, furi's absence had been nothing concerning. she always came and went as she pleased, and although blix never liked it, she trusted the gona to come back to them. but the days slip by and still there is no hint of her ex. her scent fades from the border, old patrol markers gone stale, replaced. 

but she still doesn't quite let herself believe furi is gone for good. maybe it's just ... a longer scouting trip, like that time they went down the coast (only with all the packs on the coast now, that's a little harder to do). or maybe she just hates blixen and her mom so much she can't stand to be around either of them so she's taking a break, but she'll definitely, definitely come back.

she should... she should talk to nomi about it. it's not good even if she's definitely coming back. but telling nomi would be... committing to the idea that furi is gone, and even though she knows she should -- she wants to, even -- she can't bring herself to do it. so instead she doubles back on her patrol, just in case, just in case.

as if nomi can hear her thinking, she appears in front of her, falling into step alongise her. blixen dips her head in greeting but stays quiet for a few minutes, still fighting with herself whether or not to bring it up. a different sort of person would have eased into it, maybe started with a hey nomi, how're you, how're the babies.

blixen says, "furi is gone," and swallows, not looking at nomi's face. instead she looks at the border, as if furi will follow nomi's suit and appear with her thoughts. of course she doesn't, and after a beat, the redhead sighs and concedes defeat. "i think for good."

for some reason she's a little surprised by nomi's reaction -- for sure she'd thought there'd be some sort of anger or disappointment at the gona abandoning them (not even touching abandoning her). she kind of wishes there had been. relabeling furi through conversation as just another deserter would have been easier than trying to talk about her feelings. 

"i snapped at mother," she admits. mother probably already told nomi about it, she knows, but she hasn't been up to apologising or talking about it yet. sometimes it feels a little easier to talk to nomi about things, though -- maybe because blixen feels more like her emotionally, a little stunted. "i don't think she liked furi very much, and furi was like, scared of her or something. i dunno." she huffs a sigh, swiping at her face with a paw. "i didn't think she'd completely leave. but maybe she really wasn't very happy here." like rose, she thinks, a little unfairly. but rose is still here and furi isn't, and she's gotta swallow that.

nomi's unexpected statement earns a huffed laugh. she remembers the way mother had looked at furi -- yeah, she kinda agrees. but still. you dont just dump someone for having a scary mom. or leave. maybe, she thinks (she hopes), furi just doesn't know the implications of leaving. she was -- she's not ... hell, she's an outsider, even if blix always tried to not think of her that way. 

she runs her tongue along her lips, suddenly unsure. "i..haven't smelled her in the territory or by the borders," the shilkru says, frowning. that furi might have been kidnapped like rose hasn't occured to her, and even now she fidgets, not thinking of it. "she likes to.. scout nearby, sometimes, but she's never been gone this long." natrona, she thinks, frowning. an ugly word. an ugly mark to bear. it's almost too finalizing, so she says, "but maybe i should look for her just to be safe. i won't go far," she adds, looking to nomi expectantly for permission. at least that way she can't say she didn't try.

she opens her mouth to protest -- take who with her? -- but decides against it. she doesn't really need someone looking out for her (in her opinion), but she doesn't want to get into it with nomi over something relatively small potatoes. at least she's learning to pick her battles these days. besides, she can probably force artaax to come with her...

"sha," blix says, and adds, "mochof." she knows nomi is doing her a favor, letting her do this, and she bumps nomi with her shoulder gratefully. "got anything else for me?" the shilkru asks with a slightly tense smile, curious if nomi  has any news about their enemies next door for her to be aware of.