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You - Wraen - May 24, 2018 @Terance Wraen's relationship with Terance had not improved one bit. They were co-existing in a state of a cold-war, where they tolareted each other as long as they did not have to exchange more than greetings or news important to the pack. And neither of them had really tried to do something about it, because each of them stood by their truths and refused to understand the other's point of view. It was weird and awkward for Wraen, but she did not have the will-power to set things right. To be brave and apologize for harsh words she had told him. And - in a way - it was easier to leave it that way. She had proven over and over again that she could not be that non-judgemental person, who Terance could trust and confide in. Have him someone else as his friend. But to say that this was not hurting Wraen at all, would be lying. When she was not scouting and hunting, she often thought about, how things from being beautiful had got so twisted and wrong. How two siblings - once friends, had become worse than strangers. All this returned to her, when she was on her own - like on this evening, when she was returning from a hunt down at the plains and bringing back remnants of a mountain goat back to the cache that was instilled for the use of Olive and Seabreeze. She had not killed the animal herself, but there had been enough scraps to feed herself and leave a lot to others as well. On the borders she had met some other late hunters and instructed them to go and get the rest of it. She had heard that Seabreeze was unwell after childbirth and that the two surviving puppies were being nursed by Olive, but - since there were other people to take care of them - she did not bother them herself. Preferring to help in the best way she could. Wraen put the remnants down and began to dig at the hallow cache, to make more room for the meat. RE: You - Terance - June 16, 2018 terance had done nothing wrong, at least not in his own eyes. he knew that he'd made a mistake, slipped up in a moment of weakness and caved to lust and greed. but that was merely a mortal flaw that all wolves had-- to say that he was alone in his battle with sin would be a lie, and to single him out was simply wrong. and though every day his now strained relationship with wraen caused him to be anxious and just plain sad, terance stood by this belief. he had worked hard to keep everything in order, stay positive and keep all well, and so far everything was fine.
except for seabreeze's health, of course-- go figure. but olive was nursing okeanos and ibis now, and slowly his lover's health was on the incline. but terance worried still, as worry seemed to be a constant in terance's life now. though terance and wraen exchanged very rare conversation now, especially after the accusations he made at her after the charon/hydra incident. terance still firmly believed in his own argument, stubborn as ever, but wraen's harsh words against hydra did not help herself. and though if wraen would've come by to visit ibis and okeanos terance would've likely met her with uncertainty and concern, he still appreciated her doing her job and restocking the cache nearby the two nursing mothers. but it did little to heal the gash in their wounded relationship. terance made his way to the nearby cache, going to pick up a meal for seabreeze and olive, when he spotted wraen at the edge. he was not quite excited to see her, but he wasn't so stubborn that he would turn around at the sight of her. so he continued forward, regarding her with a curt nod before moving to dig up anything left. RE: You - Wraen - June 16, 2018 Meeting Terance near the matron dens was a high possibility in the evening and usually Wraen visited the place either early in the mornings or in the afternoons. So that she did not have to have the awkward, stiff and formal exchanges with him. It was very painful for her and tended to spoil her mood for the rest of the day. But - perhaps - the fact that she was here at the time, when he would also be here and a meeting would be inevitable was a subconscious decision that something had to be done about the status quo they were in. Therefore rather than disappearing right after giving an acknowledging look of his presence, she stayed, stepped back from the cache, watched him work in silence for a while and to break the ice, said: "You can take these - they are better," she beckoned to the goat remnants that she had not yet stashed. "How is Seabreeze doing?" RE: You - Terance - June 16, 2018 as he began to dig, there was an unpleasant silence. he could sense that wraen wasn't leaving, like she was waiting for something, and it was making terance incredibly uncomfortable. he was almost glad that she broke the silence, though he almost wished she would've just went on her way.
he stopped, looking up at his sister with a cautious green gaze. he eyed her and then the goat scraps at her feet, his nose twitching and his ears pricking. "that'd be nice," he said, straightening himself back up. and then she asked about seabreeze, leaving terance to stiffen again-- shrugging slowly. "she's better now that olive is nursing our pups," he said, and then slowly added, "thanks for asking." RE: You - Wraen - June 16, 2018 Seabreeze was doing better - that was good news, though Wraen had no idea, what was wrong with her and the gravity of the situation she was in. And the children were well too - she made a mental note to come and visit Olive in person at some point. "And what about you - how are you holding up?" she asked, knowing that unlike her, Terance tended to keep emotions to himself and build them up. It was not exactly a funny thought, but it occurred to her that it would be helpful for him to explode like she did at times. RE: You - Terance - June 16, 2018 "i'm fine," terance replied simply, because he had no desire to tell wraen exactly how he was feeling. terance was known to bottle up emotions until he physically couldn't hold them in anymore, but unlike wraen who tended to explode, he typically fell apart instead. instead of built up anger and anxiety, he typically just broke down. if he was to have any angry outbursts, they were surface level and happened in the moment, he typically didn't sit on things.
save for one or few exceptions, when soft spots were hit. "we took care of dakarai on the borders, everything's been quiet since then," he added, just to add it. of course, seabreeze's health was terrifying and he worried every day for the safety of his pups but... he stuck to his duties as beta, which had been fine lately. RE: You - Wraen - June 16, 2018 Wraen had not expected Terance to open up to her and cry on her shoulder now, especially after she had had shown little sympathy and had been more judgemental about his troubles. Reproached him, where she should have stayed silent and listened. Because people rarely sought others out to have them hear their opinion on their troubles. No - they just wanted someone, who heard them out. And after thinking a lot about previous spats between her and Terance, she had realized that she was not that kind of person, who could offer unconditional support. Yet she was not entirely satisfied with his curt answer, because there had to be going on a lot more than he was letting on. She was not going to pry for more, but, where Terance had reservations with her, he had none with Rannoch. And that their mutual friend would keep him on the line, if things went downhill too quickly. "I heard about that," she replied, "and yet I would have never thought that such a pacifist as Olive would go ahead and kill someone. Anyone for that matter." RE: You - Terance - June 16, 2018 terance shrugged. wraen made a good point, but he trusted olive and therefore had never questioned it. besides, as a new father, terance had a new understanding of children. "cassiopeia was on the line, she just wanted to protect her daughter," he replied, genuinely believing that. of course, terance was far more 'aggressive' than olive was, meaning he'd handle things with violence as soon as he needed to, he had no problems with doing so. so maybe it was easier for him to believe someone would kill someone in such a split second decision.
but he understood wrean's-- was it disbelief? he couldn't tell. ah... well now he had to ask. "do you not think it's true?" he asked, not in an accusatory way, merely curious. RE: You - Wraen - June 16, 2018 "I am not too concerned, whether it is true or not - the guy is dead and, whoever killed him... well that won't make any difference," Wraen really did not care, because she had not known the wolf personally, and she knew that she would not be above killing people, if any of her loved ones were in danger. "It's just - a person was killed, another sentient being," she tried to find the best words for her concern. "How does one live with that? With killing another person - they say, they never truly leave you after that," so the real fear was not behind the fact of killing, but rather of the ghosts that would haunt you afterwards. RE: You - Terance - June 16, 2018 terance was silent for a moment, trying to find something not offensive to say. maybe it was just this in theory thing that he was so okay with-- if he ever actually had to kill another wolf, surely he would be faced with this same moral dilemma that wraen was concerned about now. it was easy to say you felt a certain way about something that you'd never truly experienced.
he shrugged, still quiet, before responding with something he felt was appropriate. "you're right," he replied, ears flicking, "i guess i've just never had to really think about it before." wraen hadn't either, surely, but while terance was more opinionated when it came to wolves, wraen seemed to put more thought and opinions towards things-- actions, scenarios, morals, things of the sort. RE: You - Wraen - June 16, 2018 "I hope that we never have to find out," Wraen finished the topic, sensing that Terance saw the matter from another point of view and that in their own way they were both right. "Terance, I am sorry that things between us are the way they are. And I am to blame for it, but I wish you stopped seeing me as an enemy," she said after a moment of silence. "I don't expect you to forgive me - nor can I change our differences of mind in several matters - they will always be there. But I want you to know that despite me being harsh on you, I don't hate you, and I don't think any less of you as a leader." RE: You - Terance - June 16, 2018 as wraen suddenly shifted gears, terance's ears cupped forward, a bit of surprise unable to hide itself from his features. an apology? of course, she was too stubborn to say she was entirely wrong (something terance firmly believed was true), but she apologized for being so harsh, and terance genuinely appreciated that.
and she didn't hate him, apparently, something that shocked terance a lot more. "i don't see you as an enemy," terance said, which was the truth. he was quiet for a minute, collecting his thoughts and trying to only say things that he thought out fully. "i just hope you know it's been hard to have you around after all of this," he told her, teeth gritting for a second as he braced himself, "i've already put myself in the corner for this, all i wanted from you was some sort of support, and to get nothing but discrimination and disapproval really hurt, wraen." "and i didn't expect you to think the world of me, i know i messed up, but i didn't think that you, of all wolves, would speak down on me like that." he shrugged, sighing softly, and added "maybe that was naive of me, i don't know, but it's what i thought." RE: You - Wraen - June 16, 2018 "I am sorry, Terance, for putting you through this," Wraen repeated her apology - yes, she was wrong to say all those things, but she stood by her earlier opinion. She did not approve. And maybe - it occurred to her - the problem was not because they viewed things differently, but the way she had delivered her statement on the subject. That - perhaps - Terance essentially knew that he had done wrong and had she treated the news of his mischief as facts and with a mindset of, what could be done about it, they would not have come to, where they were now. "I can't promise that I will ever be that friend you need for support or that even deserves you," she began, "but I promise that in the future I will try very hard not to make my opinion known in a form of personal insults and emotional outbursts. That helps no one and does not solve anything." There was a silence then and suddenly a thought came to her mind that made her smile: "Maybe... we are not so different after all. With us seeing different aspects of the same argument - perhaps, we can make good things come out of it." RE: You - Terance - June 16, 2018 terance was many things, but he was not a doormat. and so while some wolves may have accepted thee apology quickly with a bright and sunny 'omg! it's so okay! i love you!', he did not jump to such an answer. because it was not okay. the incident had broken a majority of his and wraen's built up trust and good-companionship. and while blame wasn't entirely one-sided, to imply that this was 'okay' was a lie and invited the problem again another day. so, after a few moments, terance answered with a calm and collected, "thank you for apologizing, wraen, it means a lot." it did, even though he felt he deserved an apology, to hear it from her meant a lot.
"that's all i ask," he said, a small smile making it's way onto his muzzle, his tail waving rather slowly(but still waving!) at his hocks. terance added rather softly with a gentle dip of his head, "i do love seabreeze." he wanted her to know that. this wasn't circumstantial, he loved her. "it's not traditional, but i can't think of anyone else i want to raise a family with, and i love her and our children with my whole entire being, wraen." though his expression was a bit uneasy, his smile broadened. be civil, make amends, extend an olive branch. "our girl is named ibis, after you and mom and march owl," he told her-- he wondered if it would mean anything to her, "you should come visit them sometime." RE: You - Wraen - June 16, 2018 Wraen responded to his smile - things were not entirely okay, but they had stepped over some barrier. Broken the ice, taken the next step - call, what you want it, but the stagnant pool that had been their argument, had begun to clear. Slowly, but even little steps in the right direction mattered. "I understand, that we will never be able to go back to, where we were before - I have changed and you have too - but with a better knowledge of our weaknesses and faults... and past mistakes, maybe we can create something new," she finished. The way his face glowed, when he spoke about his mate and children, was endearing to Wraen. It was oddly satisfying to see other people's happiness - if you compared it to a little sun - she was basking in it's light and warmth. "So you kept the family tradition - one is named after a bird and the other after a god?" she asked, thinking about, how happy mom and dad would be to see those two and then realizing that neither Terance, nor Sarah (full-name Sagittaria) were bound to any legend. But then again - who said that you could not create a new tradition with every new generation. "When they are older," Wraen nodded - now, with all the trouble with their mother and them being so small and vulnerable, she did not think that bothering them would be a good idea. "And you come and join hunting with us sometimes. Maia has proven to be an excellent snake-relinquisher," she still shuddered at the thought of the legless reptile. "And I - well - I do a bit of everything." Though short - I think that this is a good place to fade out? And we can have a hunting-oriented/storytelling-oriented thread, when you have time for such again?
RE: You - Terance - June 17, 2018 terance dipped his head. "i hope so," he offered gently, and that was all he said. it was all that needed to be said, he thought.
"god of the sea," he replied with a nod, there we're many sea-gods, but seabreeze had come up with okeanos' name, and therefore it was the best god he could think of. wrean mostly accepted his invitation. though the children were extremely healthy and almost a month old, he supposed that yes, when they were a bit older. his head dipped. "maybe i will," he said, unable to hide the shock that maia was good at snake-relinquishing? it was just a random skill, but terance was thankful for it, at least. "jack of all trades," he replied with an encouraging smile. but, as he took a moment to look behind him, terance was reminded that he needed to head back to seabreeze, and so he looked back to wraen and voiced this concern. "i should bring olive and seabreeze some food, check up on them," he said, and with a slight dip of his head, added, "i'm glad we talked, wraen, thank you for the goat." he offered his sister a kinda awkward nudge to the shoulder as he made to take the scraps from her, and then with a dip of his head, parted and returned to the whelping den with the food, where he told @Seabreeze of this milestone as she ate in hopes of distracting her from her pain, before allowing her the rest she desperately needed. would love that! last from me. feel free to post again or go ahead and archive it
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