she'd found the grove to be good hunting grounds since her hunt with the mongol, and had returned yet again to rummage through the foliage in search of a quick catch. she had little knowledge of pregnancy besides Cat's, but knew that both Pema and Aviana seemed near to their time, and the hunters of the pack would be reduced to five, at most. Valette's offer lingered in the forefront of her mind, but she would hold out until her pride wavered in the face of her pack's starvation. 

her breath shifted the arching fronds of a fern, and again she cursed the heat. humid and oppressive, it bore down on her thick pelt, and she hadn't stopped panting since that morning. the prey had the intelligence to vanish in the face of the early afternoon's burning heat, but Dawn persisted, finding comfort in the shade of the canopy and the odd, faltering river she came across.

her hunting (or rather, tramping around the grove) was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a man painted in umber and charcoal, gaze a duller version of her own. she paused, wishing suddenly she would rip away her fur which trapped every ounce of heat tightly against her skin, and turned to meet his gaze with her own, offering her own "hello." 

she lapsed into silence then, wondering if he would have something for interesting to offer besides hey - but his appearance was certainly more interesting than her futile hunt.

he grinned quickly, easily, as she might have in the days preceding her father's death. while the weight of grief had slipped from her shoulders, some of it lingered still, made it hard to grin with the same wildness that she'd harboured. 

"they're smarter than us, surely." her empty jaws and clean muzzle spoke loads for just how well her hunt had gone, and her voice was wry. "I'm Dawn. Where're you from?"  she'd much prefer a conversation to some more hot wandering, and the question came only a brief pause after her introduction. there was guilt at abandoning her search, but surely it was only temporary.

she managed a grimace at talk of a place hotter than this, already hating the heat and knowing that they were hardly in the heart of summer yet. she agreed quickly to his offer, falling into step beside him as they made their way to, supposedly, a place shadier than this. 

with a stiff shake of her pelt as if that might dispell some of the heat lingering in her fur, she offered her reply.  "from morningside, to the north of here. thankfully, it's cooler there." ears flicked as she glanced at the sun as it burned heavy in the sky, then back to Fen.

she offered a thanks as she pushed through the thicker ferns, taking the cool patch of ground he offered quickly, sighing at the relative coolness of the dirt and the shade. "it is. we've claimed the maplewood and its neighbouring plains; it's a good territory." she liked the man at once, pausing her panting as the coolness gradually seeped through her fur, ears flickering a moment in thought. 

"to hunt, mostly. we've got three whelping mothers, but the pack is - not at it's best." it was a lot to disclose, she felt, but the sterling envoy felt that she could easily trust the man beside her. besides, "not at it's best" was a nice way to describe what exactly was happening within their ranks.

the corners of her muzzle flitted up in a half-smile, something lifting off her chest. "you should." she echoed his actions, stretching out her forelimbs and rolling her shoulders in their sockets. she could not determine, exactly, if he were a pack wolf or not, and held back on immediately offering him a place based on that fact. 

her gaze wandered, and settled on, a solitary canine poking through his lip, until he spoke and her gaze returned to his.  "it is - but truthfully, I'm looking for someone, too."  she hadn't admitted it to herself, exactly, but after the anger had faded, and logic had her remember just who and how Sunny behaved, she ought to have expected his reaction. 

her brow quirked a moment, and she quieted. "you would?" she paused, knowing she ought not to accept, but her pride quieted and faltered.  "thank you." 

sunlight burned through the foliage, chasing them even here, and her gaze traced the beams a moment as they shifted in the slightest of breezes. "my brother. he's always been hotheaded, but he did something stupid, and I had him leave. I'm worried for him, in his state." she worried he'd do something else he'd regret; or perhaps he'd be just fine, learn his lesson, and return perfectly matured. the latter seemed entirely unlikely. 

"we could wait until evening? it might bring out the prey."  gaze blinked, regained it's hawkishness as she scanned the shaded area around them. the sun was midway through its descent; she could only hope the temperatures would drop.

something settled in her at his words, his calm and confident reassurance. she blinked her gaze shut, once, until the worry and fear hit the bottom of her mind like a stone, and faded. she settled half on her side, stretching out on the dirt completely. 

when he mentioned bison, her lips twitched again, pulling into a full smile that lasted a few seconds before fading. "I've never hunted bison - but even a calf would need more hunters. perhaps we could find deer in the shadier areas." 

some trickled along her spine, some warning, perhaps, or something else. she did not dwell on it as her gaze traced him just as he'd traced her. "nor will I" she echoed, peering at him. the sterling huntress blinked, gaze falling from him as she settled her head upon her forelimbs. 

"know any ways to pass the time?"  she didn't feel much like moving, not when the heat burned a path down her spine still, but having a nap wasn't appealing in the slightest.

she was no idiot.
the needle on her moral compass veered dangerously towards south, and the prickle along her spine intensified. for a moment, she hesitated. a brief, guilt ladden moment lingered, and broke. she was tired of being guilty, tired of grieving and worrying. 

and so she echoed him, raising her head and stretching her muzzle towards him, drawing in his scent. at his words she offered a mere, contemplative, "really?" 

and she allowed him. tense muscles eased, slowly, not quite able to let go of the guilt as quickly as she would have liked. she didn't quite touch not, not yet, but then she remembered the sharp burrs at her heart when Aditya had said Pema and I've been talking, all that Sunny had done and how she worried for him still. 

her head swung around, carefully, breath moving the fur by Fen's chest yet not quite touching, not yet, not now. 

she hadn't initiated this sort of thing with Aditya; not since that first time that had left her shamed and guilt-ridden and tainted the act for a good while longer. not since her father's death hung over the pack like a funeral shroud. but this; this was different.

gradually, she let go her reservations, stretching forward to catch hold of the base of his ear and preen it absentmindedly, curiously testing. something slid from her chest like a purr, a sound she had no immediate name for, but had her find her feet gracefully as she stood, ear forgotten as she peered back around toward the male. 

where his eyes were heavy, hers danced, as if challenging him, egging him on. the sound slid up her throat again, a rumble of sound, and she waited with gradually plummeting levels of patience.

---

their union was quick and clean, for the most part, and some part of her was glad to have it over with, experienced. they parted when they could, and it was her that would eventually initiate the promised hunt, and when their paths parted it would be with blood-stained muzzles.

some people thought of life as happy accidents, others as a meticulously planned out event--though by who, opinions differed. aditya fell somewhere in-between the two, or perhaps beyond. . .choices were what were most important. the choices you made determined your existence, for better or for worse. choose differently at any occasion and your life could be dramatically altered.

he didn't much think about it, except when he thought of coelacanth. he had began to make peace with that situation, though: there was no use in fretting over it any longer, not in the wake of grayday's death. there were more important things to ponder.

so, that day, aditya chose to do some hunting; the caches were low, and pema and aviana both heavily pregnant. they couldn't afford to be without food in this trying time. he chose to leave the familiar shade of the maplewood for the more unfamiliar grove, just to the southeast. he chose to follow the scent of a rabbit, bounding through the ferns.

but his eyes did not choose to see what he came to eventually see.

he'd taken note of dawn's scent, but he'd chalked it up to a coincidence--she was a hunter, she traveled around a lot in search of game. and he'd noticed that the smell grew stronger as he continued on, and his heart grew light at the thought of chasing deer with her. but this. . .this took him aback.

i love you, coelacanth. and this was his karmic punishment, for saying those four words. he squeezed his eyes shut, but he was unable to erase the image, burned forever in his mind. bile rose in his throat; icy chills rippled down his spine. they seemed to take no notice of him, even when he staggered back and wheeled around, crashing through the ferns.

i love you, coelacanth. it was not to the coast he ran, but north, further and further until his legs finally gave out, sobbing for breath. completely disbelieving everything he had not chosen to see.