Totoka River just because i'm a straight hottie doesn't mean i can't read philosophy for fun

The three of them sleep a few nights in Ravensbloot Forest—hadn’t a pack been there, once?—when they find it empty. The vague recollection lingers but she does not dwell much on it. Packs come and go. Teaghlaigh eventually came to an end (unaware how young it had been to begin with). She has no home. No place to return to if things didn’t work out. Her parents were gone—

I’m still here, suloinen tyttö.

It’s not the same.

They’ll move on soon but Mallaidh scouts ahead to try and clear her mind. @Saarthal causes her more anxiety than she’d admit and @Max is quiet, sorting through her own drama. With the absence of their other friend, Mallaidh can’t help but feel isolated from all of them despite sleeping on top of one another. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Her jaw tightens as the anxiety settles heavy in her chest. The illusion of the river goes mostly unnoticed—or at least, unimpressed—as she settles on her haunches off somewhere nearby, staring idly at nothing in particular.

leaving the safety of the island is not an idea that thrills her, and yet reed finds herself moving across the land bridge until her feet come to touch inland shore, and moving further still, the faint, faint traces of mou's scent her only focus. his apparent depature has torn her up inside in a way she'd neither anticipated nor is equipped to deal with -- they'd not exactly been friends but he has been a large part of her life for these months, and -- and honestly who does he think he is, up and leaving her like that? her patient! before he's healthy enough, even -- what if something happens and he gets himself hurt again and she isn't there to tend to him?

a frustrated growl errupts from her, seaglass eyes seizing on the figure nearby. a stranger -- no matter -- straightening the svelte fearghal marches up to her, voice commanding as she asks, "have you seen a boy, mostly white, has a large scar across his throat?"

Mallaidh is so far lost in thought she’s oblivious to the approach of another. When she’s right in her vision, she jerks in surprise. Eyes widen, fur bristles, and she searches the stranger’s face in a matter of seconds that isn’t sure what’s being said at first. Her head shakes and she stands, taking a step back to process the situation.

“Um—” she pauses, awkwardly. “No?”

an irritated huff bursts from her tiny red form, as if it is somehow the other girl's fault for failing to assist her in any tangible way. reed takes a step back but pauses, looking over the useless stranger. there is no reason for the sudden feeling of familiarity creeping through her mind -- because while we the audience are privy to the dramatic irony unfolding here, and while reed has been told about her older siblings (those that had been lost, unlike eirlys and ceallach) and vague snippets of arturo and lotte, those memories have blended together, slowly but surely fading away from her turmultous childhood until all that's left is the impression of teeth (an attack that did not occur but her own babyish exaggerations have taken root over truth) and mama's voice swollen with beautiful nostalgia.

annoyed with herself, a displeased hmm escapes her. "well if you see him," the fearghal says, feeling the sudden need to linger, "you can tell him to get his ass back to undersea or reed will have words with him."

Mallaidh leans her head back as if she’s just been swatted at. Ears splay against her head and she isn’t sure how she’s supposed to respond. It’s not her fault she hasn’t seen some stranger. This area isn’t that new to her but her experience isn’t great and she’s only scouting to re-familiarize herself. She hadn’t realized there was another pack here, but—

“Reed?” she blurts before she catches herself. “Uh, I mean...” she pauses, licking her lips. Is this the Reed Eirlys told her about? Her markings remind her of her father and Ceallach, but brighter and red, like Blixen. What had Hemlock looked like, before she disappeared from Teaghlaigh. “Do you know, um... Eirlys and Ceallach?” she tests, first, for if she does not know them then surely it is purely coincidence.

her feelings were not displaced -- at first she does not understand the surprised intonation of the other girl, lips pulling back to quip no, my name's actually droman, yes reed why would i say that otherwise -- but then she names her siblings and, oh. "my brother and sister," she answers, voice skeptical. after all just because she feels a certain way and the girl knows her siblings does not necessarily mean anything. even if her blood is screaming through her. to wit: "how do you know their names?" the fearghal demands, her ears twitching forward as she waits for a satisfactory answer.

“My brother and sister.”

Mallaidh’s heart seems to stop in her chest. She clears her throat. It starts again.

“They’re my brother and sister too,” she informs, adjusting her posture. It’s been so long since she’s seen them that any chance of meeting her unknown family seemed long gone. She’d forgotten where Eirlys said they lived once upon a time and after everything that has happened, her estranged family moved to the back burner. “So, I guess, um…” she adds, a bit of a smile, though she isn’t sure how the other might receive it. Had any of her family spoke to them about her? “I’m Mallaidh.”

theyre my brother and sister too, the girl says, earning a scrutinizing stare from the redhead. mallaidh. she has heard that name before, although she'd all but forgotten, those moments buried underneath her own fabrications.

"i'm reed," she tells her, dropping her critical act though she remains guarded. how else is she supposed to react? mallaidh is a perfect stranger, a myth of a half-sister, and she has complicated feelings about her fearghal blood to begin with. but mama would.. mama would want her to be gracious and happy probably. "i was told a little about you," she offers, trying for -- common ground, maybe. "maybe more than a little, but i don't remember much, sorry. have you seen eirlys and celleach then?"

Reed introduces herself again and the corner of her mouth twitches into a ghost of a smile. Her littermate told her once she’d told their younger siblings about her and Lotte and everything they used to be. When she disappeared, she had forgotten about them (more like tucked it away for another day, when would she ever meet them?) and now she stands face to face with a girl with markings like her father and the fiery colors of Hemlock.

“It’s okay. I’m, um… not surprised. It’s kinda weird,” she tells her but when she mentions their siblings, she shakes her head sadly. “Not for a while. They were always close, Eiri and Ceallach, and I got lost when I was a kid, like Roarke... so I’m sure they’re… out there somewhere. They’re Fearghal, too, they’re strong,” she adds, a smile finally breaking through. Her eyes twinkle with sadness, tears welling in her eyes she does not let spill. Blinking a few times to wash them away, she shifts awkwardly. “Where do you live?”

mallaidh does not look like the witchdoctor -- she looks like, reed assumes, the mythological figure of lotte, her second mother never known.

reed is glad for this.

she also agrees with mallaidh's claim that it is weird -- super weird. her face falls slightly, both at the fact that her siblings are not near and they are strong for being fearghal. she has held onto the name despite her father's absence from her life and she will continue to hold onto it. like lotte, arturo -- pre witchdoctor arturo -- is a figure of childhood lore, admirable; and yet she cannot quite reconcile her memories. "they are strong because they are eirlys and celleach," she decides to say, almost challengingly. lucky mallaidh who knew arturo -- even if she was also separated, she was separated from the man of myth, not the creature from reed's nightmares.

at mallaidh's question the titian fearghal tilts her head toward the shore. "undersea," she answers, "with ma-- with hemlock and my littermate droman." hesitantly she looks back at her... sister, running her tongue across her teeth. eventually she offers, "you are welcome to visit," casting aside her hesitations. "i'm sure mama would like to see you," she adds. if nothing else.

“Yeah,” she says in agreement to the statement. They’ve had a tough go at it. They all have. Slowly, she nods, considering the information but does not add anything else out. None of them have had a mother from a young age and they lost a father not too long after. Perhaps Arturo hurts the most because he’s there. Alive. Somewhere.

Lotte will never come back, except for the haunting voice in the back of her head. A voice she tries her hardest to ignore.

“That’s right,” she murmurs, as the information comes back, and nods again when she mentions Hemlock. The woman had been around when she was young but she hardly remembers any of it at all anymore. “Yeah, I—… um, I’d like to see her too. I don’t know if I’m ready, though… but will you tell her I said…” she pauses, clenching her jaws a bit before shrugging. “Tell her I said hey, I guess… and that I’m okay?”

Mallaidh is more than thankful Reed will pass the message on. She has no way of knowing if @Eirlys or @Ceallach had given word to the woman but this way, she feels a little better. This is Hemlock’s child, and they are both still here. Reed seems a little busy at the moment but she hopes for the best and offers a smile when she confirms she’ll send word to her.

When she thinks it is time to part, that she needs to get back anyway, Reed asks about Arturo. Pain visibly crosses her face like a wave, there one moment and gone. Pinpricks behind her eyes and flattening of her ears give her pause and she shrugs, sort of.

“I knew my papa,” she tells her, thinking of the last time they’d been together. She’d been grown and struggling and Arturo was… whoever he was after Witchdoctor. “I know Arturo is alive but my—our—papa is dead.”

mallaidh confirms the mythological status of arturo. reed wishes desperately she could -- what, know him? no. she doesn't know what she wants from him, only that she was robbed, she feels it in her bones, robbed of a life. but in return she has undersea -- which is better? she loves her island. how does she map out fearghal onto the island?

"he was never my papa," reed says cooly, covering her conflicted feelings. it isn't wrong, anyway -- her father had been witchdoctor as far as she's concerned, and thus, she has no father at all, only the archetype of a father. arturo is snapping teeth and witchdoctor is mysterious colors and smells she can't quite remember anymore, a figure that haunted her baby-dreams.

there isn't time to dwell -- she has to continue her search for mou. "thank you," the fearghal girl says, the sentiment sincere even as she rolls her shoulders, playing it off. "be sure to visit us eventually." and with that, she vanishes down the shore, unable to shake the lingering .. disappointment? resentment? grief? she can't quite name.

Her attempts to relate backfires and her lips purse slightly, jaw tightening. Reed is her sister but she isn’t necessarily family. Maybe, in the future, they can share a bond but right now, after an abrupt meeting, they aren’t any more familiar with one another as she is with Eirlys. And she barely has anything with Eirlys.

“I will,” she says quietly, watching the girl turn and disappear. She’d entirely forgotten Reed had been looking for someone. Mallaidh stays in the same spot until the other disappears before eventually making her way back to Saarthal.