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+--- Thread: The Bracken Woods 'cause even here we're scared to bruise (/showthread.php?tid=29543)
'cause even here we're scared to bruise - Alarian - September 09, 2018
Mature Content Warning
This thread has been marked as mature. By reading and/or participating in this thread, you acknowledge that you are of age or have permission from your parents to do so.The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: suicidal ideation
When he's certain Delight's son is safely within the borders, he heads for the woods again — he won't go far, he tells himself, but he needs to be alone right now. He can't stand the thought of facing any of his packmates, sick as they all are. His own little crisis can be contained, at least, while there are larger problems to worry about.
It takes him awhile to convince himself he's really alone; is he ever alone enough to have a break down without someone noticing? But the sun starts to set after a time, and as it gets darker the full weight of it hits him. Zamael is gone, and it's my fault.
Maybe he could handle Zamael's absence alone — he'd been ready to, when he'd disappeared. It's different this time. This time, he knows for sure it's his own fault; he can't dismiss it as maybe some people will always leave. He's driven his brother away because he can never handle anything like an adult — and he hadn't necessarily been trying to die when he'd eaten all those poppy seeds, but now he thinks it would have been better if he had. Now he thinks, a little hysterically, there's no Zamael to cry, there's no cat to sit on my head, there's no Delight or Eris or Lily or Korei —
And maybe it would be easier for all of them if he just disappeared. Maybe he's not as needed as he's managed to convince himself — maybe the only thing anyone needs him to do is leave. All he brings is destruction.
It takes him awhile to convince himself he's really alone; is he ever alone enough to have a break down without someone noticing? But the sun starts to set after a time, and as it gets darker the full weight of it hits him. Zamael is gone, and it's my fault.
Maybe he could handle Zamael's absence alone — he'd been ready to, when he'd disappeared. It's different this time. This time, he knows for sure it's his own fault; he can't dismiss it as maybe some people will always leave. He's driven his brother away because he can never handle anything like an adult — and he hadn't necessarily been trying to die when he'd eaten all those poppy seeds, but now he thinks it would have been better if he had. Now he thinks, a little hysterically, there's no Zamael to cry, there's no cat to sit on my head, there's no Delight or Eris or Lily or Korei —
And maybe it would be easier for all of them if he just disappeared. Maybe he's not as needed as he's managed to convince himself — maybe the only thing anyone needs him to do is leave. All he brings is destruction.
RE: 'cause even here we're scared to bruise - Eris - September 09, 2018
She is so sick. When she wakes in the morning she coughs phlegm from deep within her chest, and when she goes to sleep at night she can feel it rattle. Nothing she takes helps her get better. No herbs would help her now, the illness would have to run its course. She rises late, sometime in the afternoon. Morbidly she thinks that if she is to die, she will not do it within the Sanctuary. Hopefully it does not come to that; Eris is a fighter. She's confident she can pull through. It is by chance she runs across Alarian. She blinks and rubs the crust from her eyes to make sure it is truly him (although she believes really, she couldn't mistake him for anyone) and she coughs before she can talk.
Hey, bud.
RE: 'cause even here we're scared to bruise - Alarian - September 12, 2018
And then Eris appears, obviously weak and oozing illness as if to mock him — he shoves the thought away. It's too cruel to entertain the idea that he might lose her now, of all times.
Hey,He manages, blinking away the beginnings of tears and swallowing back his grief. He should tell her — she should know their brother has gone. But he can't. Not while she's so sick.
How are you feeling?He asks instead, gently nudging her shoulder with his nose. His gaze trails instinctively to the foliage around them; he'd be better off going back to his den for supplies, but he can't help surveying the area anyway. The Sanctuary is fairly barren save grass, a few scatterings of trees, and the garden, and the woods are too harsh an environment to offer much — it occurs to him that he may have to search elsewhere for herbs, somewhere more friendly to what he needs.
RE: 'cause even here we're scared to bruise - Eris - September 16, 2018
she doesn't know that alarian is feeling lousy. had she been in better spirits she likely would've caught on. but he's able to pretend, because she's much too sick to know any better.
could be better,she grunts as she follows alarian's gaze. she begins rooting through the foliage with her nose. what was alarian even looking for? what was she doing? had he told her, and she'd just forgotten? hm.
she couldn't remember. that wasn't a good sign. or so she thought. she was too stubborn to ask him what they had been doing out here, but the concerned look on her face was likely enough to give her away.
RE: 'cause even here we're scared to bruise - Alarian - September 16, 2018
He pauses as his sister moves to look through the foliage, frowning in concern. For some reason, he doesn't quite believe her answer.
He doesn't wait for an answer.
Um — Eris,He leans forward to nudge her shoulder lightly with his nose, voice gentle; it's an effort to keep the panic from his tone, but he manages it well. He wouldn't have thought himself capable.
Hey — what are you doing?
He doesn't wait for an answer.
Let's head back to the Sanctuary, alright? I've got some herbs in my den that will help — maybe I'll catch you something fresh to eat.All he wants to do is cry — she looks a walking corpse, almost. His fiery sister, who he'd come to lean on and look up to in many ways, so weakened she's delirious now (at least, that's what he assumes). But he manages a reassuring half-smile, gesturing toward Broken Boulder; she needs him now, and he can't let her down. She deserves better than that.