the journey was... fine. terance felt tired, as he'd travelled a good distance while hunting only small game occasionally, but overall he'd encountered no true issues. he wasn't positive this was the right place, but based on drakonis' description... well, he could only hope this was the right place. 

standing on the boarders, weary for what was to come, he tilted his head back and called for his ex-beloved, @Seabreeze, as well as @Ibis and @Okeanos, who he prayed would show.

The child had mostly been keeping to herself since the migration to this new place, and hadn't even felt comfortable enough to sing. It had been a while since she'd spoken to anyone besides her brother; even her Mama, who she loved dearly, had been met with the silent treatment. Ibis was sad, and she didn't know why the hooks of ennui were so strong within her. She didn't know why she felt this way or how to stop it, and eventually fell in to a small mental pit. Maybe sad was just how she was going to be from now on — maybe this was the new normal, like how the Sanctuary was the new normal, and all these kids in her space was the new normal. Normal sucked.

But she began to go on small adventures too. When nobody was looking, if Okeanos was busy playing with another child or her mother was distracted, she'd wander off a little bit and commune with the flowers, or as the season progressed, she'd gather the fallen autumn leaves in to a pile and burrow in to them, as if to hide from all her worries. She had made a hefty pile just a few minutes ago, and was ready to pounce — her little butt raised and wiggling — when a familiar voice carried on the wind.

The sound of her daddy tugged at her heart strings — and in moments she'd forgotten all about the pile, and was scampering in pursuit of him. As she came upon the scene she spotted Alarian (who she only vaguely recognized as Mama's Friend), and then beyond him, DADDY! She hollered with her sharp little voice, and ploughed right in to him.

It was her first word in weeks.

the man introduced himself, and terance bowed respectfully to his status. of course, he didn't know it, but terance was an outsider, and so all wolves of the sanctuary were to be met as such. before alarian had even commented on it, terance could smell the illness. of course, he had no idea how bad it was within the boarders of the sanctuary, but as deeply as he cared for seabreeze and his children... he worried a bit. 

"i'm terance, beta of sunspire, it's a pleasure, alarian," he said with another dip of his crown, "there was a shortage of food at our mountain, and seabreeze--" terance might've finished his sentence, had he not spotted ibis. he stayed put, not daring to cross over the borders, but a loud, longing whine escaped his maw as his daughter-- his beautiful daughter-- barreled towards him. 

"little bird!!" he exclaimed in return, accepting her forceful embraced with strong limbs. he fell to his haunches, rump in the air, accepting all the love ibis gave him and smothered her face and cheeks in kisses. "i missed you so much," he murmured, nuzzling her cheeks, "you've grown so big." for a moment, he forgot entirely about alarian.

After the Governor's sister had died, the illness had seemed to lift from the Sanctuary.  Delight and Korei Julia were on the mend, and Seabreeze herself had been back to normal for a while.  Only Alarian's condition seemed to decline, as if when the sickness left Eris it had entered her brother, passed down like some terrible family heirloom.

But with most of her patients on the mend, it meant that Seabreeze had more time for her family.  She'd been leaving the children in the care of @Olive.  She hadn't quite been neglectful but the pressure of not letting anyone (else) die on her watch had been more pressing than trying to usher all of the children to get along, and Olive was always better at that stuff anyway.

She was close behind Ibis when the howl rose.  Sometimes, the little girl was as sneaky as she thought she was... other times, she was not.  Seabreeze had meant to spend some one-on-one time with her little bird, but it seemed as if fate (or the girl's father) had other plans.

Whatever self-realization Terance had been through while they'd been apart, Seabreeze had been no part of.  She still remembered how cold he had been to her when she'd been brave enough to think of their family first.  Her posture was clipped as she arrived with @Okeanos lingering somewhere behind, tail raised in an arbitrary show of dominance.  Whatever he thought of her newfound success, she would make sure he knew that here she had gotten recognition that had been missed at Sunspire.

She moved next to Alarian, sharpened seaglass eyes trained upon her beautiful daughter as she ran straight into the arms of her father.  Ibis hadn't spoken at all since they'd gotten here, and now?  Maybe Seabreeze was as much of a failure as everyone thought.  

Maybe she was just as terrible of a mother as she was a wife.

She basked in his attention and his affections as long as she could, listening to the strength of his voice and finding immense comfort in that; the words themselves registered but Ibis didn't really care what her father was saying, she was just so pleased to see him—he was here with her! It was a good moment.

The moment didn't last, though.

Ibis has burrowed her face in to the plush fur of his chest, the highest point she could reach, and her tail was batting a mile a minute. Her mind was buzzing too, filled with questions gone unspoken. Typical to the little girl, once she'd latched on to an idea she couldn't let it go — and now she was talking again.

I miss you too! I'm big, Okee is big, we can go home now! She drew back from his fluff and his warmth and his musky smell, that smell she had missed and hadn't known she had missed, and Ibis beamed a grin up at her father as if all the troubles of their move were already  behind them. You—You taking us home, right? You here, an' we... We go home? Except, the more she spoke the words and the more she thought about it, that didn't make sense. They'd been here in this Other Place with these Other Children for a while now, by a child's standard.

As Ibis glanced from her father to Alarian, she caught sight of her mother approaching. Seabreeze stopped short and the expression on her face said everything—Ibis knew, then, that she was wrong to hope. Her eyes flit between her two parents over and over, and then a little frown developed on her face. Looking to the ground now, staring at the dirt beneath her feet, she sullenly commented—No. You... You won't bring us home. When she looked up her eyes were brimming with tears and they were leveled at Terance. Where did you go, Daddy?

Poor Ibis didn't realize it wasn't Terance that left, but the other way around.

every word that ibis spoke pierced daggers into terance's heart. deeper and deeper they tore through flesh, until it went clean through him. he embraced her tightly, forelimbs wrapping around as she burried herself into his scarred chest. he wanted to sob-- all terance ever did was cry anyhow-- but at the sight of seabreeze, his expression, pained, sobered up. ibis pulled apart, looking at seabreeze and alarian, then looked back at him. she accused him, finally, of leaving. where did you go, daddy?

perhaps those were the magic words-- terance, for a moment, felt suffocated, like his lungs couldn't bare to take in any more air. when he caught himself, he released a shakey breath. "i never left you, ibis, i would never leave you," he told her softly, peering down at his sweet bird with a sad, forest gaze. it was your mother, who stole you away from me, your mother who tore this family apart for sake of her own well being. but terance did not say this, not in front of her now. "i am here now--" he looked up to seabreeze, trying hard not to accuse her of feeding their children lies. he left them? what had she told them? what did they think of him? "your mother took you here to keep you safe, there was a famine," he told her, but his gaze only flickered to ibis, looking back up to seabreeze again, "she kept you safe, but sunspire is moving, you would be safe in our new home."

he looked back down to his daughter, kissing her forehead. he spoke sweetly, and to his daughter, but he knew seabreeze was listening. she'd have the final say, she always had. she was just as cruel and selfish as the cerberus had been to him. he'd given all his love, all his loyalty, and they'd only stolen from him his sanity and healthy well-being. "you can come with me-- if your mother permits it. you are old enough now to travel with me." he waited for ibis' response, then looked up to his mate. ex, mate. "you all could..." he added, rather suddenly, ears flicking back.

She does not miss the accusatory gleam in Terance's verdant gaze, but she does not meet it with anything but the same stoic stare.  She'd explained to the children what had happened... or she thought she had, anyway.  There had been so many patients for some time that she'd been unable to spend as much time with the children, but she had trusted Olive to keep their father's memory intact.  And maybe she had!  But she'd be sure to ask later, because she had no clue where any of this was coming from.

I do not think it is wise for us all to go back.  I have duties here that I cannot abandon.  Surely, you understand that.  It had been his poor excuse not to come with his family, hadn't it?  I do not think we would all be welcome, anyhow.  She wouldn't, she knew.  She felt like she'd been barely tolerated before this.  And Olive and her children? 

The truth was.. Seabreeze didn't have anything waiting for her back at Sunspire.  She knew that whatever was between herself and Terance now likely couldn't be repaired.  She'd found a support system in Olive, and she'd promised Delight she wouldn't leave him again.  She had been recognized here as useful.  Sunspire and its residents would just resent her.

But if our children want to go with you...  She looked at Ibis tenderly, wishing she'd turn back to her mother and the rest of her family, but she knew she had no such control.  I will not stop them.

Okeanos made no move to leave, thank the heavens.  If it were to be anyone, it would be her little singstar.  Baby girl, you can stay here with mama and Oke and Olive and her babies, or you can go back with Daddy.  Whatever you choose, we both love you so much.  There is no wrong answer.

I never left you, Ibis. Daddy said, but Ibis was still too emotional to understand. He kept talking and talking and she couldn't stop crying, not until Okeanos came up beside her and began to shower her with affection.

The only constant in her whole little life was her brother at this point. That didn't mean she didn't love her mummy, she did, but — the other kids were so mean here. And now, faced with daddy and his lies and mommy and all this pressure that she couldn't understand, everything seemed much too big and ——

I not going!!! I not going an' daddy — Okee — !!! Everything sort of erupted out of her nonsensically, but she was still so young and couldn't fathom much of this meeting let alone how she was feeling or what was an appropriate response. But Okeanos was telling her it was okay, and gradually her nonsense and her crying tempered.

Okeanos said something about daddy staying, and that made her pause but she couldn't even look at him. She couldn't trust that it was the truth. All she knew was that home stopped being home, and now everything was different and everyone was mean. The poor girl had no more words but she was shaking her head and burrowing against her brother, which was answer enough.

"i understand, seabreeze," he said as gently as he could, green gaze finding hers. how dare she use his words against him, like he had ever had a real choice. "you were never unwelcome, seabreeze," he told her. you imagined it, you sensitive, selfish slyph. terance couldn't understand how she never understood that. how could she be so self-absorbed that she think the whole pack hated her? wished her to leave? but terance didn't argue, he merely stated.

he then looked to ibis as seabreeze addressed her, unsure what to expected. "i will always visit the sanctuary-- even if you stay," he told her, gaze softening. 

but then, his son, his golden son, spoke against him. terance and seabreeze hadn't said anything mean, there were no harsh words thrown between the two. the air was uncomfortable, as it should've been between a man and his ex-wife-- who had taken both of their children. terance was hurt, somehow even deeper by this comment. that he should stay. maybe it was only because now ibis had burst into tears, leaving terance to believe that both of the children only thought him a monster. he'd done nothing wrong. terance had only ever tried. he wished he'd tried harder.

ears splayed, voice cracking, terance said, "then stay, little bird, stay with your mother." he stepped carefully towards his children, hoping to embrace them again-- if they would let him. at this point, terance wasn't sure they wanted to be near him-- not if they so fiercely defended their mother. "i love you both, i always will. i will return to see you soon."

You were never unwelcome, Seabreeze.

Then why had nobody come to visit?  Wraen left food for the children and Hyacinth had kept her company after her illness, but as soon as she'd healed up everyone had left.  Nobody talked to her about her pregnancy, nobody recognized the efforts she'd made — fighting and taking scars for Sunspire, setting up pack relations.  Nobody came to give their condolences to sweet Olive and her innocent child after his death — no, Sunspire carried on as if nothing had happened.

If she herself had never been unwelcome, then Olive had.  And she knew that Terance would do the same had roles been reversed and it was Rannoch's brood that had been killed.

Seabreeze love burned bright, but her frost was perhaps even more encompassing.  He should stay.  He should have come with his family.  And if he couldn't see that, he was goddamn fooling himself. 

But oh, Oke was right.  She hadn't thought there were mean words but children were empathetic.  They knew.  You do not have to leave right away, Terance.  You're more than welcome to spend some time here.