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+--- Thread: Broken Boulder i believe in symmetry (/showthread.php?tid=29990)
i believe in symmetry - Olive - October 03, 2018
The sylph appreciated her new role with her lover and her babies, she really did! There was nothing more to life than to spend endless moments with the ones she loved, in an area of relatively sanctity, now that the wretched disease had petered out of existence — but @Seabreeze was learning hard into her new responsibilities as a member of the senate, and though Olive found it easy to watch the woman at work and think silently 'yeah, that’s my baby' there was an underlying element to it. What was it?
Sure tasted a lot like envy.
Yeah, that was it.
Jealousy.
But of course, a win for Seabreeze meant a win for their entire family, which meant a win for Bracken Sanctuary and was a win for the entire world as a whole. Olive even got to take the helm of the family’s personal affairs, and she took the education of @Eleuthera, @Séamuss, @Ibis and @Okeanos very seriously. She did her best to give them the freedom to explore their passions that they desires, along with a healthy guidance towards the stars and other naturalist pursuits, but no matter how doting a mother she was, the kids always wanted to play alone more and more and more and, as a result, Olive found herself with a plentitude of free time and nothing to do with it.
So, the slyph did what she did best: she circled ‘round the territory one, twice, then thrice — and carefully indexed whatever plant life she found in a certain corner of her memory that she wasn’t sure would ever be revisited.
Sure tasted a lot like envy.
Yeah, that was it.
Jealousy.
But of course, a win for Seabreeze meant a win for their entire family, which meant a win for Bracken Sanctuary and was a win for the entire world as a whole. Olive even got to take the helm of the family’s personal affairs, and she took the education of @Eleuthera, @Séamuss, @Ibis and @Okeanos very seriously. She did her best to give them the freedom to explore their passions that they desires, along with a healthy guidance towards the stars and other naturalist pursuits, but no matter how doting a mother she was, the kids always wanted to play alone more and more and more and, as a result, Olive found herself with a plentitude of free time and nothing to do with it.
So, the slyph did what she did best: she circled ‘round the territory one, twice, then thrice — and carefully indexed whatever plant life she found in a certain corner of her memory that she wasn’t sure would ever be revisited.
RE: i believe in symmetry - Ariel - October 06, 2018
thought these two should have a thread proper ❤
health slowly rewrites his fevered limbs. time still goes by strangely, too fast and too slow for him to get a grasp on it -- frustrating for the historian, who endlessly rearticulates himself through narrative histories. death's presence no longer lingers, though, so he will take what he can get.
still peaky, but sturdy in step, delight wanders across the territory. he finds himself disposing of the handful of remaining cat carcasses, leaving shallow graves throughout the sanctuary like a dirt-made timeline. his daughters are gone.
his daughters! it has been enough days for him to realise. though whether they have fled to be with their mother or something else -- or something worse -- he should look for them, he should. but he has not. perhaps he is truly, uniquely, terribly suited to fatherhood.
(but then again, he never wanted to be a father, now did he)
delight's path is interrupted by olive ahead of him, forcing him out of his thoughts. he watches her through a haze, dimly registering her behavior -- he's seen enough plant-types in his time to understand, now, the strange cataloging of flora.
"olive," the chancellor calls softly, suddenly seized on by the desire for companionship -- not from alarian or seabreeze and their well-meaning worries. he's not yet had the chance to spend any time with seabreeze's -- partner? -- he can focus on that, and put everything else out of mind, for now. for now.
RE: i believe in symmetry - Olive - October 09, 2018
Most definitely!
The shrouded sylph was almost too thankful when the universe offered her an out — a distraction from her stressors, few as they were — in the form of the chocolate and cream chancellor, whom she had not yet the chance to know yet. Olive had admittedly been busy with her family; almost too busy, and Olive continually surprised herself with how highly she placed her children and her kin at a higher priority than almost anything else in her life. The woman loosed an endearing and sententious smile, striding forth to meet him in his purposeful advance.
As she got closer, the midwife took a quick glance over her leader’s form. She knew him to be one of those who fell ill, and though Olive felt bad about not coming to visit or pay her respects, Olive was not quick to apologize for it. She was motivated to keep her babies, all four of them, hale and healthy — an effort in which she succeeded fully. It was Seabreeze’s duty to tend to the sick, anways; that had been their arrangement, and it had worked well to hold their small family together in spite of the calamity around them. There had been a time where Olive considered her entire pack her family, where any woes that befell the pack might as well as befallen her own children — namely with Teaghlaigh and Sunspire — but those times were no more. She no more trusted her children with her pack members than she did with mere strangers. This was harsh, yes, but when those not born of her loin, or wedded to herm controlled their futures, they almost always seemed to act against her own best interest. Let the pack have their plans, but now Olive was always trying to think a step ahead. Surely this was the reason the gods had bestowed her with the sight, was it not?
Delight, she was certain, was a fine man. He just wasn’t family, not yet, but he couldn’t really be faulted for that. Her desire for company was always present, but her trust was not so free-flowing and ever-bubbling. Olive concluded that he looked well enough, and she inquired “How do you fare?” and then thoughtfully added “and how fares your children?”
RE: i believe in symmetry - Ariel - October 16, 2018
he tenses at her question, but tries to obscure it -- failing, of course, given his tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve, but nonetheless. olive surely does not know because if she did, seabreeze would know, and alarian would know, and everyone would know and it would be a trial and indictment and (he cannot imagine it would be a show of support for him, after all, the world's worst father-figure).
delight is not ready to talk about it. so he lies: "i am doing better," and "they're okay." sure he can't control the way his face twists slightly over the word okay, but he is clever enough to obfuscate. "my -- their mother, ah, recently came back out of the blue," delight murmurs, hoping this will suffice as an explanation for his expression (after all, it is not a lie that queenie's arrival has disrupted him, either). "she abandoned them some months ago, and i didn't think i'd see her again, so it was unsettling to say the least."
ugh. he doesn't want to talk about that. "but, um, how are you and yours? i'm sorry for the chaos of the past month," he adds, sheepish. a hell of a sanctuary, rotted cat flesh and the stink of urine and half of leadership nearly dying in his own bile. he is surprised and grateful seabreeze and olive remained at all.
RE: i believe in symmetry - Olive - October 23, 2018
Olive’s inquiry had been referring to the disease that had claimed the boulder’s newest [and now, recent past] residents, and she had not been aware of the chord it struck within the other. There was a momentary discomfort that registered upon Delight’s visage — one that which, at any other time in her life, the empath might had noticed — but with so much happening, this particular one went undetected. Instead, Olive focused on the topic that resonated ever-so strongly within her psyche: deadbeat co-parents.
The woman unleashed a knowing huff, seemingly of disapproval. "I once had a husband who would do that,” she commented. “He would always bring chaos with him.” For a moment, the thought flashed across her mind that Dakarai was long overdue for a visit, and wondered how he would accidentally stumble across them this time, after she and her kin had continually wandered so far from Sunspire — but then the memory struck her that these occurrences would be no more. The dark night was dead, and her family’s life was better for it. The woman delicately bit her lip and the memory which had since buried itself.
She drew in a deep breath, and spoke her honest truth. “After they leave the first time, the kindest thing that they can do is stay gone.” Olive would always miss the man for who he was, and not what he became. Dakarai’s love had felt so sweet, but not for what it cost her. Seabreeze’s love felt just as sweet, and did not come with so many strings. Instead of breaking her down, Seabreeze built her up and made her new. Perhaps that’s what had happened with Delight and his family and Alarian. Poor Delight. His poor children. Their poor mother, who would miss out on the lives of those she bore.
Her jade gaze dropped to the earth beneath her feet at the mention of the past month’s events. It had been a strange thing, but Olive had become used to know ever knowing that she could never predict what the universe might throw at her next. “We cannot control the things that happen — we can only navigate the circumstances and ask for the gods’ grace. All things considered, we are doing well… ” the woman said sincerely. Fuck, was that insensitive? “but we must mourn those we have lost.” Then she lifted her gaze, almost pleadingly, as if to say these are your people… You knew them better than I ever could. How can we best honor them?
The woman unleashed a knowing huff, seemingly of disapproval. "I once had a husband who would do that,” she commented. “He would always bring chaos with him.” For a moment, the thought flashed across her mind that Dakarai was long overdue for a visit, and wondered how he would accidentally stumble across them this time, after she and her kin had continually wandered so far from Sunspire — but then the memory struck her that these occurrences would be no more. The dark night was dead, and her family’s life was better for it. The woman delicately bit her lip and the memory which had since buried itself.
She drew in a deep breath, and spoke her honest truth. “After they leave the first time, the kindest thing that they can do is stay gone.” Olive would always miss the man for who he was, and not what he became. Dakarai’s love had felt so sweet, but not for what it cost her. Seabreeze’s love felt just as sweet, and did not come with so many strings. Instead of breaking her down, Seabreeze built her up and made her new. Perhaps that’s what had happened with Delight and his family and Alarian. Poor Delight. His poor children. Their poor mother, who would miss out on the lives of those she bore.
Her jade gaze dropped to the earth beneath her feet at the mention of the past month’s events. It had been a strange thing, but Olive had become used to know ever knowing that she could never predict what the universe might throw at her next. “We cannot control the things that happen — we can only navigate the circumstances and ask for the gods’ grace. All things considered, we are doing well… ” the woman said sincerely. Fuck, was that insensitive? “but we must mourn those we have lost.” Then she lifted her gaze, almost pleadingly, as if to say these are your people… You knew them better than I ever could. How can we best honor them?
RE: i believe in symmetry - Ariel - November 02, 2018
he does not expect his story to resonate -- though in hindsight, he supposes it is bigheaded of him to assume he is the only one with relationship woes, if you can call what he and queenie have that. her words spark a curiosity in him that he has almost forgotten about, that needy, incessant desire to chronologicize the world around him, to pull narratives from his fellow wolves. and he does not know much of olive, which only increases his desire to ask more.
instead, for now, he bites his tongue, nodding at her sage words. "she -- we were not a romantic union," delight explains, "i still feel.. as if it is my fault she left in the first place. even if she had been cruel to them." it's a messy situation and maybe olive doesn't care. but saying even these small details aloud makes him feel more grounded in the situation.
delight cannot help the slight snort that escapes him at her thoughts -- but no, she is right, and he nods. nihilism comes more easily to him than hope these days. "eris was special here," he says softly, but shrugs, unable to help her anymore than he can help himself. "i am -- i am maybe more used to loss than most," the androgyne admits, "i don't know how much mourning i have left to give."
RE: i believe in symmetry - Olive - November 03, 2018
The shrouded sylph strode a step closer to Delight, then another, for she could feel the rich sadness that emanated from him and wished to soothe it somehow — but she was not the tried and true counselor that Seabreeze was, nor the intrepid problem-solver that Lily was. She was simply Olive, and had very few things to offer, but what she did have to share were hers alone. There was a sense of responsibility attached to it too, that it was the purpose of her life to share these ideas and proselytize for peace and balance.
The slight, fair woman reached out and touched Delight’s check with her nose — they were pack members now, which Olive assumed afforded her the luxury of touch — and let her soft gaze fall upon his own silvered pools. “Mourning does not need to be a sad occasion,” she advised. The things that happened to them were facts, unmoving and unchanging and standing staunch. It was their reactions to these things that could be controlled, and should be controlled, lest it control them. “They are all with the gods now,” the shakti woman consoled — and cajoled. “They do not know pain or sadness or avarice. No longer are they victims of this existence’s…. greed.”
Since she had Delight’s willing ear, she continued. “We all have this heaven awaiting us. You and me and all wolves alive, good souls as well as bad. We all will find elysium.”
Elysium.
Olive’s heart fluttered with vibrations of her own meaning. That’s what she told herself late at night, when the souls of Sirius and Seelie and Dakarai and Oaxaca and all of Teaghlaigh weighed heavily upon her consciousness. She would surely see them again one day, when her own time upon the earth had come to a close. “Do you pray?” she questioned, still quite eerily close in proximity to Delight. “I find that…” she inhaled lightly. “…I find that it helps; with everything.”
The slight, fair woman reached out and touched Delight’s check with her nose — they were pack members now, which Olive assumed afforded her the luxury of touch — and let her soft gaze fall upon his own silvered pools. “Mourning does not need to be a sad occasion,” she advised. The things that happened to them were facts, unmoving and unchanging and standing staunch. It was their reactions to these things that could be controlled, and should be controlled, lest it control them. “They are all with the gods now,” the shakti woman consoled — and cajoled. “They do not know pain or sadness or avarice. No longer are they victims of this existence’s…. greed.”
Since she had Delight’s willing ear, she continued. “We all have this heaven awaiting us. You and me and all wolves alive, good souls as well as bad. We all will find elysium.”
Elysium.
Olive’s heart fluttered with vibrations of her own meaning. That’s what she told herself late at night, when the souls of Sirius and Seelie and Dakarai and Oaxaca and all of Teaghlaigh weighed heavily upon her consciousness. She would surely see them again one day, when her own time upon the earth had come to a close. “Do you pray?” she questioned, still quite eerily close in proximity to Delight. “I find that…” she inhaled lightly. “…I find that it helps; with everything.”
RE: i believe in symmetry - Ariel - November 05, 2018
often delight has reflected (sometimes admiringly, often amusedly) on olive's similarities to mato. not to obscure the ways the sylph is her own person, for she has that dear sweet quality mato so severely lacked, pure empathy, yet he cannot help but find her presence naturally soothing. yeah, he gets it, he gets why seabreeze chose her. or was drawn to her, maybe, but chose her, coming here with her instead of staying with her children's father. it's exactly what he would have done with mato.
all that to say, she's doing more than she realises for him in this moment, gratefully accepting the soft press of her nose. the androgyne listens to her words with the gravity they deserve, something small lighting in his eyes at the word elysium. it's not a word he's heard before, but it immediately reminds him of mato's druid-language, though he is sure it is not the same.
"i don't," he admits easily to her question, unbothered by her proximity. something about her aura is healing. "i don't pray, and i don't know -- i've never really thought about, you know, having a soul." can he believe in olive's elysium, her souls? what does that mean for him, for his family, for mato and alarian and his children and the dead? the king elk had been something soul-like, or had it, perhaps. it is not that delight does not believe in the afterlife, it is that he has spent so much time running from the affects of death he has not paused to consider what might happen. now, though, he murmurs, "maybe you're right," though the idea of actively praying makes him feel... silly, somehow. curiously he shifts his gaze to her face. "though then i wonder, maybe, if my soul isn't bad." if anyone is fit to pass judgement he imagines it is olive and her aura, though he isn't seeking her judgement here, for she does not know the scope of his failures or his innermost wants, hidden under layers of repression. but the thought escapes him anyway, stolen from his mouth in the easy way he never can exactly hide what he's thinking.
RE: i believe in symmetry - Olive - November 13, 2018
Olive liked to think that, if she had met Mato, she would have liked him. Olive had only heard about Mato in passing from Seabreeze but did not know much about him; knew he was the leader of their old pack, but did not know the significant profile he had in everyone’s memories — and she certainly did not know their striking similarities, or the fact that Olive might have even loved the man too. There was a lot that Olive did not know, and perhaps it was a shame that she didn’t.
The sylph was pleased when Delight didn’t pull away, as she had always a thing about closeness and physical touch and a strong belief that it was very healing. She loved to cuddle — her cubs, Seabreeze… and, well, that was about it — and though she wasn’t about to necessarily cuddle Delight [unless he wanted to. consent is important!] it was nice to know that he found a similar comfort in their nearness to one another. While Olive did nurture a certain appreciation for almost every wolf who crossed her path, at the moment being, Delight held quite a high regard in her eyes. He had been a, dare I say, delightful facet of Seabreeze’s connection to the sanctuary.
Olive allowed her voice to rise, to give his concession [of worrying about his soul’s bad-ness] the context of a light matter, which it really was. “Of course your soul isn’t bad,”she tittered. “Nobody is inherently bad.” The woman tilted her head towards him, as if to say you’re so silly! but it really wasn’t silly. Olive encountered far too many wolves in these lands who believed too strongly in their own badness, or embraced their shadow selves as a crutch. It was all illusion, of course, but it had very real impact on the wolves who felt it. “Oh, I don’t know much, but that I know for certain.”
She backpedaled a pace or two, allowing herself to lift her gaze and look Delight in the eye, now that the serious part, about the nature of wolves, was over. “Prayer isn’t for everyone. Anything that sets your soul on fire is just as good.” Her lips twisted into a smile. “What do you enjoy?” It could be another being, a feeling a place, an activity — others’ response to this vague question always amused her. The sylph loved to see where they would take it.
The sylph was pleased when Delight didn’t pull away, as she had always a thing about closeness and physical touch and a strong belief that it was very healing. She loved to cuddle — her cubs, Seabreeze… and, well, that was about it — and though she wasn’t about to necessarily cuddle Delight [unless he wanted to. consent is important!] it was nice to know that he found a similar comfort in their nearness to one another. While Olive did nurture a certain appreciation for almost every wolf who crossed her path, at the moment being, Delight held quite a high regard in her eyes. He had been a, dare I say, delightful facet of Seabreeze’s connection to the sanctuary.
Olive allowed her voice to rise, to give his concession [of worrying about his soul’s bad-ness] the context of a light matter, which it really was. “Of course your soul isn’t bad,”she tittered. “Nobody is inherently bad.” The woman tilted her head towards him, as if to say you’re so silly! but it really wasn’t silly. Olive encountered far too many wolves in these lands who believed too strongly in their own badness, or embraced their shadow selves as a crutch. It was all illusion, of course, but it had very real impact on the wolves who felt it. “Oh, I don’t know much, but that I know for certain.”
She backpedaled a pace or two, allowing herself to lift her gaze and look Delight in the eye, now that the serious part, about the nature of wolves, was over. “Prayer isn’t for everyone. Anything that sets your soul on fire is just as good.” Her lips twisted into a smile. “What do you enjoy?” It could be another being, a feeling a place, an activity — others’ response to this vague question always amused her. The sylph loved to see where they would take it.
RE: i believe in symmetry - Ariel - December 13, 2018
her reaction to him is not exactly what the androgyne anticipates, feeling a somewhat surly defensiveness rise in him that he quickly banishes. he's not a teenager anymore, and she's reasons for feeling how she does, even if she doesn't know the depths of his ... him-ness. "i suppose," he murmurs, not wishing to argue the point with her -- delight really does want olive to like him, if only for seabreeze's sake. he likes olive well enough too, would like to be closer with her, but seabreeze is the priority, he suspects, for both of them.
what do you enjoy is more loaded than it should be. it's been so long since he's done anything he enjoys! well, no, that's unfair -- he enjoys the company of his children immensely, it's just all the guilt he carries around that makes it hard. "um," delight begins, feeling a blush start under his dark fur, "well, i -- i always fancied being a historian of sorts. i used to keep track of the pack's history in tindómë, but i fell out of the habit after... everything that happened." as he says it, he realises how much he did enjoy it, and how much he misses it, now. "it was -- i liked hearing everyone else's stories, and knowing that they were being preserved, somehow," he adds shyly, hoping she won't think it silly.
RE: i believe in symmetry - Olive - December 23, 2018
just going to tack on an ending and close up :)
Delight is a complex fellow, Olive surmised from his short retort. It was often the quiet ones that had the most going on in their heads, and it was his quiet remarks at his ordinary-ness that led Olive to believe that the stars and the gods would have much to offer him. In good time, she reassured herself. They were only breaking ground with this conversation.
There was a noticeable lift in his voice when he spoke about his passions as a historian — a sound, a vibration that Olive loved and wished to hear once more. “Oh, you must tell me a story then!” the sylph almost begged, hoping she wasn’t being too pushy with the man who was only just beginning to open up to her — but perhaps a nice story was what they both needed, at that moment. Olive moved in close.
“I would so love to hear one, if you have the time.”