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+--- Thread: Seeds of romance (/showthread.php?tid=3056)
Seeds of romance - Nerian - July 02, 2014
Nerian hid tears of hurt and loneliness, behind her neutral facial expression, they burned only the back of her eyes and did not come forth,
Her body ached everywhere as tendrils of mother natures kiss still clung to her virgin body. Her quest for the blue hued plant was as futile as her love for Ragnar.
Thoughts about him only caused her throat to burn as well she shoved all thoughts aside and tried to meditated as she made the trips from Horizion ridge to the bay, transplanting whole plants careful not to damage roots as she dug up the plants or reburied them.
She made this garden close to a small fresh water lake. Making sure to bring every plant thistle had planted and this time plant them in neat little OCD rows. She planted her own plants along side it and then some poppy seeds.
Nerian dug until her nails bled so intent on the task she didn't feel pain. Though as night fell she collapsed in a heap next to the fresh garden and closed her eyes intending on sleeping away both her physical pain and the other pain that plagued her.
RE: Seeds of romance - Thistle Cloud - July 02, 2014
Hope its ok to join
Thistle padded around after dark. everyone was sleeping except her. she couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard she tried. she happened upon Nerian and froze midstep, she was debating whether or not to leave. she chuffed gently and stood shifting from one foot to the other.
She didn't know what else to do but stand awkwardly. truthfully she couldn't say anything because nerian did not know she knew anything. She looked around at the neat little rows and wondered at it.
RE: Seeds of romance - Nerian - July 02, 2014
Nerian lifted her head and stared toward the subtle noise then frowned and lay her head back down, turning her face from Thistle, this time the tears flowed from her eyes though she didn't make a noise hoping Thistle would just leave, she couldn't keep her emotions in check right now. No matter how hard she tried and they were wild and crazy, leading her to believe she two was going crazy. She wanted more then ever now to find the blue hued plant of her homeland that could interrupt her heat and keep it at bay. It would not do to have a priestess in heat back home.
Here mother nature was allowed to run it's course. Here she was beginning to hate more and more. but 'home' just wasn't an option open to her either, she was locked in this purgatory
RE: Seeds of romance - Thistle Cloud - July 02, 2014
Though Nerian was silent, Thistle could see the subtle cue’s of someone grieving in a sense. The small shake of her shoulders, the quiet sniff, yes she was crying and Thistle had no clue what to do about it. Because she couldn’t really tell the girl she knew why she was upset, that her husband had denied her, at Thistle’s request. Because frankly Thistle refused to share, and it was simply because one she was selfish when it came to Ragnar and two she had been taught; that true loves stayed with one another they didn’t go cavorting with other’s simply because they found them pleasing to the eye or they were in heat, it simply wasn’t done.
She wouldn’t go find a male to make sweet love to her beneath the stars, simply because she found his form pleasing, she wouldn’t do that betrayal to any, granted she probably wouldn’t find any other man pleasing to the eye, but it was the mere idea of it.
Thistle shifted and sat down to her haunches and spoke softly Nerian are you okay? This little garden is beautiful by the way? Did you bring all my plants from the ridge? She studied the straight rows and the pretty way it was formed, and she saw some new plants that she hadn’t used or planted and it made her smile. Perhaps they would be okay yet maybe.
RE: Seeds of romance - Nerian - July 22, 2014
Well there was a reply, I have absolutely no idea what happened to it... why it didn't post forever ago.....
Thistle didn't take her body language into account, and chose instead to harass her. not that a simple question was harassing by any means, but with her emotions out of balance any affront was widely skewed
Yes all of them.... and my own as well Nerian whispered into the ground, then she began licking her tender toes cleaning the blood from her damaged nails. How the gardener wolves did that back home day and and day out was beyond her, but then the ground 'back home' was regularly tended they never had to start from scratch and never alone, there was always some wolf to share the work.
Nerian didn't speak further she didn't want to invite conversation. not right now, her utter rejection still stung her badly. She blamed Ragnar for everything and truthfully most of it was his fault, if he had left her alone she'd have been what.... raped and then scorned by her people still.
At least here she was just scorned by all but still pure... lot of good that was to her. She was still unsure what she wanted or what her place was. Someone needed to give her direction, up to the time she was stolen and then some time afterward her god did but now God sure wasn't being very helpful. Nor was the mixed messages she was getting from Ragnar and definitely not the hate she was feeling from Thistle.
RE: Seeds of romance - Thistle Cloud - July 22, 2014
Thistle took a deep breath and then she jumped off the cliff and spoke softly moving closer a little bit can i help you with your paws Nerian? They look so sore? I have some cobwebs to bind if you don't, it may help.
Thistle studied her and for the first time in a long time she saw Nerian for what she was, a lonely woman on her own who had been torn from her home, and thrust in a vicious culture she knew nothing about, most of her brethren were probably slaughtered and then the only person she regularly had any contact with was Thistle's husband and he may have given her the idea he wanted her before, he probably wanted her now, but that was not her fault, it lied with Ragnar and in his inability to turn his lustful thoughts off. However, he was true to thistle and for that she needed to forgive both of them and she needed to do so now.
Thistle spoke again and said quietly I'm sorry I haven't been the kindest, I'm a jealous woman by nature and i am working on it, but I would like to work on it with you if you'll let me and maybe we can be friends later? There she didn't let Nerian know she knew about the way she had acted playing it off as if she was jealous of a lot and she supposed if she thought about it, she could eek up some jealousy where others were concerned, yea she could. She shuffled her small front paws, Please let me help Nerian I hate to see you here all alone.
RE: Seeds of romance - Nerian - July 23, 2014
Nerian growled, she actually growled. This was her mistress and she growled at her. Nerian stood up shifted her weight to the heels on her front feet ignoring the pain in her toes ignoring the offer for healing, she could do that herself. Her hormones had the best of her in knots the normally stoic femme fell to pieces.
How dare you! you know nothing of being alone. Yet you squander what you have. You have everything Thistle Cloud! Everything one could ask for and yet you are unhappy. You have your gods and your loyal husband and your children, your brethren, your culture your home. And you are unhappy. Stay away from me Thistle Cloud take what you have and go flaunt your unhappiness else where.
I will continue to breathe and tend your garden, for when you have need of it. There is nothing you can do for me. Empty promises of friendship will not help.
Nerian panted exhausted from such a long speech She turned her back on Thistle Cloud and stalked away tenderly and slowly, not much of a storm off. Thistle could grab her and box her ears for being so insubordinate if she felt like it.
Hot tears stung Nerian's eyes as she looked for some reason to be happy in her heart but just couldn't find it.
RE: Seeds of romance - Thistle Cloud - July 23, 2014
No lie I am having too much conflict with my characters it is starting to unbalance and i don't like it that makes me not want to rp very much lol....i have to have balance....if Nerian continues to rage at Thistle I think thistle will just give up and walk away if that is okay with you, because i really don't want her to fight with Ragnar again....that would be too much conflict for me this week...next week maybe this week no....
Thistle heard the growl and for a moment she was struck dumb, she knew that Nerian was feeling pretty poorly, but what right did that give her to treat Thistle so, when she had done nothing. She was merely telling the truth, she was allowed to feel jealous, Ragnar evne felt jealous it was one of the main reasons he had first asked her to be his mate, so how did this other femme have any right at all.
Standing swiftly she ran to the front of Nerian and got right in her face did I say I was unhappy! I am not unhappy, you assume too much Nerian. I am very happy and I am very blessed. I am allowed to have feelings I'm allowed to have a darker side. I don't bottle up my feelings nor do I attempt to yell at someone I know nothing about ! I have every right ot feel the feelings i Do, I am not like you I don't hide them behind a facade that is going to break and end up kicking you in the ass in the end. How dare you sit there and judge me when you are not perfect you are far from it. Get off your high horse Nerian or you will stay unhappy! I was not being mean to you and I really did want to help I still do and my promise of friendship was not empty! l really would like to be your friend but clearly you hate me for somethinh I have never done to you! I have been nothing but nice to you nothing but! even when I had every right to call you out I didn't! yet you sit there and debase me when you are the one who in unhappy and antisocial! I cannot help it that you lost your faith i wish you hadn't and I am sorry that I demand loyalty from my husband, if you had a mate I would hope you would do as much instead of letting him go off and cavort with who he pleases. I am also sorry you are a slave I wanted Ragnar to set you free when you got here! and I told him when he does to do so gently so he doesn't hurt you more! Yet you are angry at yourself for losing your faith and you are angry at ragnar for making you a slave then refusing you and you are angry because you I imagine hate and love him at least i would if i were you, but don't you dare take your anger out on me when I do not deserve it! I cannot make you faith come back and I cannot make your past go away, and i cannot eleviate your slave position. However, I can be your friend, but even you do not want that because you are jealous and afraid and angry, that is not fair Nerian it isn't fair at all! Especially when I have done nothing to you! Granted yes Thistle had been angry with Nerian and she had taken it out on Ragnar, but she had not taken it out on Nerian and that alone made the difference, and truthfully she didn't even really take it out on him not really, she just suffered in silence and he happened to pick up on it. Good gods what was with all these wolves, it was perfectly acceptable to feel jealous and upset, it was especially when the wolf in question was practically begging your husband to fuck her...it just wasn't right that she was now getting treated so badly, when as far as Thistle was concerned Nerian was in the wrong, but she was still the asshat apologizing for it.
Thistle stood barring her way angry, yet sad she had wanted to clear the air she laughed darkly clearly I am a fool for trying to get to know you and make you a friend. I am truly sorry that you feel all these things an being in heat makes them worse but you have no right to treat me so harshly when i was trying to be kind.
RE: Seeds of romance - Nerian - July 23, 2014
Nerian stopped in place when Thistle ran to her path, she tried no further movement. Nerian did turn her head and try to crush out the tears with her eye lids.
Jealousy can only mean you are unhappy. You can not be Happy when you hold jealously. You don't want to be my friend you want me far away from here ... from him... And By the gods, I want to be far away from here, but even if Rangar was to release me... I have no where to go. When she spoke of gods her first thought was of Loki then Odin not of the god she had been raised to love and cherish.
And No Thistle I would be true to my mate but I would allow my mate to practice his faith and if that was to have as many children that he could want, something that if I could not give to him I would be honoured to have another help me to do so. Ever stop to consider his feelings, his religion?
Nerian gasped and she could not accept the truth, I HAVE NOT LOST MY FAITH but the moment that words were belted out of her body she crumbled her legs collapsed under her; her head swam her vision darkened and her ears buzzed the last thing she heard was thistle's laugh not the words right after.
ugh put in the wrong god name. Im so bad at this....
RE: Seeds of romance - Thistle Cloud - July 23, 2014
Thistle stared at Nerian and then she spoke I said I had been jealous not that I was anymore. I have asked for help trying to get over that thank you very much. And No Nerian I don't want you far away from here, I really do want to make you my friend. I am not a mean wolf, I hate conflict and I hate feeling upset... I try very hard not too, but sometimes our feelings get the best of us it cannot be helped.
Thistle glared at her, how dare she try and say that she was not true to her husbands wants and feelings...how dare she when all she wanted was a quick fuck and children, she did not care that it would tear Thistle's world apart, having been raised where you were always true to the one you love and only one it wasn't right, but Thistle tampered down the words tight and bit her tongue until it bled, this was getting them no where.
Thistle gasped when Nerian hit the ground and with a loud cry she circled her nudging her and fighting to get her to wake up, when that didn't work she ran to the nearest water source returning with a shell of water and dumped it on her face. Nerian please come back please I would feel awful if something were to happen to you this whole mess is stupid and foolish and we need to stop. And I have been turning the thought over in my head, though I do not know if I could go through with it.. She half sobbed when she repeated the words that she had been fighting herself against. she did not like it and she would not want him anywhere near her for days after, but she could possible share with one, possibly especially if they were friends, but only if they were friends...and Nerian seemed the most like her, but what if he fell in love wtih Nerian then and she was lost..and she still didn't know if she could share...she may just have to leave...the pain might very well be unbearable and it wasn't fair, when her husband would not share her not that she wanted to be shared, but the simple fact of the matter was it was widely unfair...everyone expected her to give and not take, but it just wasn't right. If he couldn't share? Why should she and again she was back with the fighting of herself on all accounts. And then with a small sob she lay across Nerian to protect her from the elements if they were to come and mostly just because she felt horrible and sad and all sorts of everything.
RE: Seeds of romance - Nerian - July 25, 2014
Nerian moaned softly when the water hit her, was it gods tears? had she fallen so far away from god that god cried for her.... or was it Njörðr god of the sea welcoming her into the embrace of the gods, Nerian whined aloud but did not wake she could not see either face clearly.
Nerian paws twitched below her crumpled body she was running toward the forms of the gods but in reality her body remained crumpled on the ground. One might qualify this as an out of body experience or vision of some sort, What ever it was it felt extremely real to Nerian.
She had no idea where she was yet she did not care how she got there. It was beyond her ability to contrive; all other thoughts were put from her mind as she ran toward the retreating god/s.
Wait for me she cried to both of them in reality yet another wine escaped her not words. The forms receded from her as she moved forward; Soon she stopped running and the god/s stopped receding so she realized running to them was not going to help please she called to them why won't you talk to me.
She heard the same dark laugh that she heard when she went black? What was happening suddenly she began to look around as if brought aware of her location and that is when the gods began to speak drawing her limited attention back to them allowing her confused mind to forget all else yet again.
[size=medium]You have forgotten me[/size] the voice echoed no I have not she cried
[size=medium]You forsake me[/size] the voice echoes again no I do not she responded
[size=medium]You reject me[/size] the voice echoed again no I do not!! Nerian cried out once again
Slowly a wolven form walked toward her and stood there faceless, Nerian squinted, the form was familiar.... Thistle? She whispered.... The wolf's face took shape in the form of Thistle Cloud, The godly form of thistle cloud raised her head and stared down at Nerian expecting something.
Nerian lowered her crossed face to the ground at Thistle's feet and closed her eyes, she murmured a prayer of forgiveness
[size=medium]Humph? So quick to turn away from all that we offered [/size] A deep voice hinted with other voices spoke
Nearin lifted her head and stepped backwards another faceless yet familiar form stood beside 'her thistle god' Nerian stepped backwards again and fell upon her rump. Ragnar? The wolven form stepped forward and grinned taking Ragnar's face behind him were many other familiar faceless 'ragnars'
So many gods.... Nerian eye browns knitted together and nearly whined
[size=medium]Many Gods that serve but one purpose[/size] The Ragnar god chuckled
[size=medium]Thou shalt have no other gods before me.[/size] Thistle god said to Nerian
[size=medium]Who says we are before you in Nerian's heart?[/size] Ragnar God questioned Thistle God taking the words by the very literal meaning. Thistle glared at Ragnar but Ragnar did not falter the two stared at each other.
[size=medium]There is no room in her heart for the both of us. [/size]Said Thistle
[size=medium]I was told you love all, you are selfless [/size] Claimed Ragnar
She is selfless she gives more of herself up then any wolf I know her words fell upon deaf ears as Thistle spoke through Neiran's claim [size=medium]I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.[/size] Thistle stated
[size=medium]And you call this god selfless?[/size] Ragnar god turned the face Nerian and raised one eye brow. Then Ragnar turned his head to Thistle
[size=medium]We gods know we have faults and we accept them. We even walk upon the earth as mortals.[/size]
[size=medium]You play games with the heart of men.[/size] Thistle sneered
[size=medium]Unlike you, We do not pretend that we don't; you say not to worship other gods how about she show us the respect you command that she show all men and woman as well.[/size]
Thistle god stared at Ragnar god.
Nerian and watched the exchange patiently. You love Each other don't you? You told me so.... Both wolves turned to face her as if just realizing that she was still there.
[size=medium]We never said we didn't[/size] they spoke union.
If you love each other why can't I love you both?
[size=medium]We never said you couldn't [/size]they both spoke in union again.
Then why am I here Nerian screeched
[size=medium]Where will you go when you past from this world? [/size] Thistle asked
Nerian lowered her cross born face to be ground and issued prayers to all of the Gods before answering
Would I not go with whom ever deemed me Worthy?
Nerian's head suddenly felt heavy and she could no longer bring herself to lift it from the ground.
A strange voice drown out Thistles voice and Ragnar's voice, though all three voice said the same thing Of course child
Nerian's eyes Sprang open and the last thing she thought she saw through her darkening vision was Loki or was it the devil?
Nerian's body gasped as if she had been holding her breath for a very long time she felt a body wrapped around her own shivering form. She had control of her body again.
Lifting her head she blinked blearily at the wolf wrapped protectively around her. [size=x-small]Freya?[/size] she whispered. That didn't answer any questions freya.... all I want to to be loved and accepted... useful again... Nerian exhaled and tucked her head under Freya's/thistle's arm sobbing softly
RE: Seeds of romance - Thistle Cloud - July 25, 2014
Thistle did not know where Nerian had gone when she had left, but she had felt her limp form and it had scared the life out of her. She could not let this woman die, first and foremost because her husband would possibly hate her and two because she made Thistle see her shortcomings and fight to fix them, as did everyone. For some odd reason even unknown to her, Nerian had a way of making her worry more and she did not know why. Perhaps it was simply she did not wish Nerian to get ahead, or maybe it was a genuine affection she did not know she had, but she did know that this would not do itw ould not do at all.
Nerian began to mutter and shake under her, garbled nonsense most of it, she did make out a few things selfless, and loving both and something about being worthy, but other than that Thistle had no idea. When Nerian woke with a gasp Thistle cried as hard as she could, happy that the woman was okay, but the seed of worry and fear soon turned inward and pushed it's roots into her heart, when Nerian called her Freya. She was not the goddess of beauty, or destiny or love. She did however choose both Frigga and freya for her own following, would Nerian become a viking too and what then, what would be in store for all of them then. Could Thistle continue to be selfish, but what if it was possible to fall in love with a woman herself could she and would she allow it. She shook her head quickly, blaming everything merely on her mind being tired and depressed with the quick turn of events that they had.
Thistle brushed her muzzle soothingly across Nerian's head, No Nerian I am not the goddess as far as I know I am merely Thistle. Please don't cry I am sorry I have upset you, it wasn't very kind of me at all. You are loved and accepted here Nerian you are family.
RE: Seeds of romance - Nerian - July 25, 2014
Nerian lifted her head out from under Thistle and smiled relieved to see Thistle in more ways then one. She rained licks and kisses upon Thistle's face then buried her head in Thistles ruff.
Oh, Thistle I'm so sorry, I've been hurt and confused for a long time, I'll make it up to you I promise.
I should not have said those things I don't want you to hurt too. I've been a fool while I was blinded by my own pain, unable to see.
Nerian lifted her head again and frowned Thistle I brought those plants over to please you; But I tainted my gift with my actions. I'm sorry
RE: Seeds of romance - Thistle Cloud - July 25, 2014
Thistle's eyes went wide for a moment at the exuberance of the others actions, but she smiled softly all the same and returned a few. Wondering briefly if anyone would read into that, eh she shrugged then. Just happy that the ill feelings were out of the air.
It's okay Nerian I could have handled it much better. I don't blame you for being hurt and confused a lot had happened to you in a span of a few months. I would have probably taken it all much worse than you. And add that to your season and by the gods you're lucky you didn't go crazy.
Thistle looked over the garden and shook her head No you didn't you just made it more precious with your apology and thank you for that. I am sorry too very sorry I was a fool and very mean.
RE: Seeds of romance - Nerian - July 25, 2014
Nerian shook her head, trying to make her face frown but the smile was in her eyes and the corner of her lips Don't out apologize me, I know I was in the wrong Nerian grined softly and rested her cheek for a moment on Thistles neck.
Nerian exhaled and relaxed against Thistles warm body I'm exhausted Thistle, mind if we just sleep here tonight? without waiting for her answer Nerian rested her head on Thistle's back and closed her eyes unless Thistle pulled away Nerian would be asleep in but a few minutes her mind and body both exhausted.
Fade Nerian
RE: Seeds of romance - Thistle Cloud - July 25, 2014
Thistle chuckled warmly glad she had made a new friend. She would have much to think about when the morning dawned, and she would have to explain to Ragnar where she was, which she wasn't sure how that would go. But she wasn't about to let Nerian out her in the open all by herself.
After all not only was she in heat, but add that to the chilly nights that were coming upon them she would be a sorry wolf in the morning without her heat added to it. She tilted her head and spoke softly No I don't mind, though I should probably tell Ragnar. She let loose a small howl letting him know, she'd explain more in the morning. But she rested her head too on the back of Nerian and fell fast asleep her breathing even.