nomi has been gone for a while, now -- blixen doesn't know when to expect her return, but she hopes, secretly, that it is soon. she has been in control long enough for her to feel more comfortable with it -- or, well, about as comfortable as one can get in just a few short months -- and so it is not necessarily a desire to be 'rid' of her leadership. she just misses her nomi.

today is one of those rare times blix lets herself slip from drageda territory, walking with @Helix toward the sound. in a way, helix's company is soothing when she most misses nomi -- they are similar in many ways, even if she does not yet have the same relationship with the older woman. plus she's trying not to be too forward with mallaidh right now, lest they fall back into the same suffocating pattern that hurt them both before. the trip to the sound itself was, surprisingly, the commander's idea, to see if that wretched bear that scarred her is still lurking in the caverns. between bat's disappearance, kiwi and silkie's panic-inducing forays, and in general, the ease with which the younger generation takes to leaving whenever they feel like it (something that startles homebody blixen) she thinks it probably makes sense to try and scope it out. 

(and if secretly she kind of hopes its still there, lowkey eager for a round two to prove herself -- well, there's a reason she's not alone.)

outloud she addresses none of these thoughts, instead letting her gaze flicker back to her companion as she asks, "how long do you think nomi will be gone for?"

helix's answer is honest but not exactly reassuring. the commander makes a unsure gesture, the wolfish equivalent to blowing her bangs out of her eyes (imagine at your leisure), and says, "a few months at least." the actual battles had been briefer, but she counts the time spent at the caldera -- maybe even the time spent looking for mother, at the expense of her childhood.

hopefully the war nomi wages won't be so much longer. she pressed forward cautiously, ears pulling forward as they near the spot the bear had struck. there's stale scents, wolf and ursine, but nothing recent as far as she can tell. still, her muscles tense, hackles raising slightly. to helix she says "there was a bear in the sound -- we fought it. it's how i got these," she adds, wiggling a little to demonstrate her chest scars. "there was a pack here -- i think the bear must have driven them out. but i wanted to see if the bear was still here." she leaves the implied "and try to take it on again" omitted (she knows helix would immediately put the kabosh on that anyway.)

ah, there is helix's stalwart, stabilizing presence to nip blixen's impetuousness in the bud. she nods, hiding a tiny frown. "we'll be careful," she agrees, which really means, fine, i'll be careful, but she's grateful underneath it all for helix's ambigous role as mentor-cheka. on the few occasions she's let herself imagine what it'd be like to stay commander (never heda, of course, just commander) she wonders if helix would formally agree to be her cheka. sometimes, very very briefly, she allows herself to imagine that mallaidh would be her cheka -- though in those fantasies the roles usually end up reversed, with blix desiring to serve as her friend's faithful guardian. 

despite her assurance to be careful, she presses on, creeping slowly further inland. she's never been this deep in the sound -- there's something she likes about it. the scent of her foe remains stale and intermingled. "i don't think it's here anymore," she comments, her gaze drawn toward the caverns where, presumably, it made its home (not that she knows much about how bears live). glancing back toward helix, she makes a gesture toward the caverns, an eyebrow raised in question.

their exploration after that is silent, a careful trip through the grotto. there's no life here, only scents that tell stories blix doesn't give thought to; eventually the pair emerges and makes back toward drageda, her itch to investigate thoroughly satisfied. once safely returned within drageda's borders she parts from her guardian for the night to rest.