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+--- Thread: Moonspear tremble (/showthread.php?tid=30817)
tremble - Charon - November 15, 2018
border thread with a ppc'd Revui.
one of my babies would b great!! @Arcturus @Yama but anyone else is welcome too! :D
one of my babies would b great!! @Arcturus @Yama but anyone else is welcome too! :D
It was the first time that he visited the borders since the fight. His gait was still a little stiff and his wounds were ugly and scabbed over, but he knew that they would be alright in time. He'd brought @Revui to the borders because he knew the boy enjoyed spending time there to hone his skills as guardian and warrior. Charon was proud that the little (though not quite so very little anymore now) Levi-lookalike stepped into both parents' footsteps so easily.
Revui needed no introduction to the ways of the borders and Charon felt reassured to have him there in case anyone sassy showed up; with his gait still limpy and his wounds looking horrendous, Charon felt more at ease knowing how to handle a situation arise than if he were alone. Dusk fell across the lands and Charon looked out from within the forest at Moonspear's slopes towards the plains that surrounded the mountain, before he continued his slow trek around the spear's borders.
RE: tremble - Arcturus - November 15, 2018
a dark mood had swept over arcturus, with the same unerring finality of the dusk that settled around moonspear. he was troubled still by yami’ disappearance, and his father’s grievous injuries. why was there someone out there that wanted to hurt his family?
he was his usual quiet self as he trailed after his father and brother. their destination seemed to be the borders, but arcturus would have followed them anywhere. while revui inspected an old scent of fox arcturus stepped silently next to his father, his troubled eyes examining the still present cuts alongside charon’s features.
RE: tremble - Charon - November 20, 2018
Revui made sure that borders were marked so that Charon could focus on keeping an eye on the outside world, the plains beyond the forests at Moonspear's bottom. Arcturus was like a dark shadow to follow him, as silently as Revui often did. Charon at times missed Galaxy's talkactiveness, but it did not surprise him that most of their children were curt and to the point. It was one of the qualities that he had sought in his mate, after all; to know what another meant wordlessly.
It would've perhaps been easier not to know what his son meant in that very moment as he watched the wounds that still etched his face. Then again, perhaps it was best that Arcturus learn the world was a dark and cruel place at this age rather than find it out the way Galaxy did. "The world's a tough place," Charon said as he looked at his son, "So we must be tough as well, and always ready for a fight should it find us."
RE: tremble - Arcturus - November 24, 2018
afternoons such as these, spent quietly working alongside his father, were fondly and eagerly treasured by the boy. as revui honed down a scent and made off like a sinister phantom into the murk, arcturus watched his form recede and then turned his solemn gaze to his father. he had not been looking long before charon, in that knowing way fathers often possessed, remarked after the boy's concerned look.
he felt a bit ashamed to be read so easily -- but then again, arcturus knew his father to be sharp and intelligent -- and like as not, the boy was no expert when it came to disguising his emotions. they typically simmered just below the surface of his dark pelt, readily visible in the turbulent state of his eyes. he looked down, deferring quietly to the wisdom in his father's words.
he had yet to learn how cruel the world could be -- but thinking upon yami, whom he missed dearly, arcturus had a good idea of the insensate and often inexplicable callousness in which the world governed itself. he didn't hide the small frown that worried his features. while he wanted to reply to charon's worldly statement, instead arcturus found himself vulnerably blurting: "i miss yami." his voice was small, and soft -- and his ears fell as he realized how easily his emotions had overcome him.
RE: tremble - Charon - November 27, 2018
It was painful to hear Arcturus' heart felt comment about his sister. Charon had learned from young age that the world sucked, and so he didn't think it necessarily bad that Arcturus learned of this now. It was his own protection; protection of his body, so that he should always look over his shoulder and prepare his teeth should it be necessary, and protection of his soul and mind, so that he would not get too attached to others. Charon had lost many over the years, and even those that had from time to time been his rock and anchor -- such as Levi and Flóki, each in their own time -- had left eventually. It felt like a rare treat to have Ame and so many of his brood still by his side here upon the mountain today.
Charon did not show any sympathy towards the boy's pained emotions, because he thought the world was easier to handle when you grew thick skin. There was no use in crying. "I know, I miss her too," said Charon. "And we can hope that she'll find her way back to Moonspear some day, but we should never assume it or wish too hard, because often enough, wolves just disappear..." It had happened to him. "We've looked everywhere, but she can't be found, so now all we can do is accept it. It's a part of life... Loss." Charon then looked out across the plains beyond the borders, which looked quiet, for now, while he thought of the wolves he had lost in his life. Arcturus was very fortunate to grow up with so many of his family nearby.
RE: tremble - Arcturus - November 27, 2018
arcturus didn't understand how charon remained so well composed; was he not affected at all by the loss of his daughter? the boy was too young to understand the virtues of developing tough armor; in time, he might be indoctrinated to such qualities, but for now arcturus was simply flabberghasted (and frankly, a bit upset) by his father's nonchalance.
did that mean he didn't care yami had gone at all? arcturus was besides himself, and all his father was, was slightly indifferent? and then a thought pressed into him, hysterical and uncomfortable: if he disappeared, would charon even care at all?
his throat worked hoarsely, the lump that bobbed up and down sharp with each movement. his father's words were not encouraging -- if anything, they had the opposite effect. they elicited a feeling of noncompliance from the boy, who surlily looked after his father with the abstract cunning of a child: "so just give up then?" he blurted, already hot with horror that he had dared defied his father like that. but it was too late to turn back, and if he quailed or lost conviction now, somehow it seemed worse than talking back to your idol. "you didn't even try!" all too quickly the boy's words escalated, and he found himself teetering on some wild balance he had no control over. "would you give up if i just disappeared, too?"
RE: tremble - Charon - November 28, 2018
The moment that the objections came from the boy's throat, a growl rumbled in Charon's throat to warn the boy. He was about to tell Arcturus that of course you don't just give up, but do what is in your power and then return home to what you do have left. If the words about giving up had been unacceptable the next words stung more than Charon dared admit. Why could his son not see how hard he was trying? How hard he had searched? But eventually all scent leads had gone to a dead end and he rather focus on what he had left here, because he knew that it likely meant the death of his child.
"Don't ever speak to me that way again," he warned coldly. "If you think that we gave up and didn't try, then you are both blind and ungrateful. We have all chipped in to search, but we all came up empty-handed at the end of the day." Charon's eyes narrowed coldly, causing the scabs around his wounded eye to tear a little as he stared at Arcturus. "Some moreso than others." There was something cold and distant to his voice and his demeanour, to the look in his eye. Charon would never admit how much it hurt him that his own son would think so lowly of him, but he responded in the only way he knew how to. "At some point, you have to give up and prepare for winter so that the rest of the family doesn't die." He glanced pointedly at Arcturus at this — it was as much his fault as anyone's that Yami hadn't been found. If they didn't have other pups to keep alive throughout winter it would've been easier. But they were a pack, and so they would share their burdens as one.
RE: tremble - Arcturus - December 05, 2018
he was too young to have developed the linear, clean thought process behind logic; logic was methodical, exacting — puppies were not. he couldn’t understand the hard truth behind charon’s words — but he felt the cold blast of them.
wounded just as much by the cutting way his father looked at him, arcturus was stunned into hurt silence. his muzzle worked, the thin column of his throat moved — but nothing came of it.
instead he just looked to the ground, cowed by the force of his father’s words and the clinical harshness of his gaze.
arcturus would never speak to his father that way again — but in that same vein, an idol had been toppled that day; one that would never rise to its former height again.
RE: tremble - Charon - December 06, 2018
Arcturus didn't respond, not to indicate that he understood though neither in further defiance. Charon wasn't really sure what to do with that, because it made him feel impatient and irritated but he knew his son didn't deserve any further scolding. It seemed the message had gotten through. Charon didn't enjoy having to tell off his children, but he knew that he must at times -- children didn't see the big picture of things and all he could do was try and teach them, or at least make their decisions for them.
Collecting all of his patience, Charon put a thin smile on his face and said to his son, following a somewhat disappointed sigh: "Look, I'd do anything to protect you and your siblings. You're the world to me." He reached down to nose Arcturus on the cheek in a 'cheer up' gesture, a little roughly so. "You'll get it some day. Come on, let's continue the patrol." Charon looked at Revui, who'd gone ahead and had missed the discussion. He gestured for Arcturus to follow and then went on his way, assuming the boy'd follow -- and hopefully, the subject could turn a more positive one.
RE: tremble - Arcturus - December 06, 2018
it would not be the first time in arcturus' life that he disappointed his father, though the boy felt crushed to hear such a testy exhale exit his father's scarred muzzle. arcturus lacked the perspective to know this was simply a small pitfall, a bump in the road -- his face crumpled to hear the tail end of charon's breath march disdainfully away into the winter air.
he didn't stir as his father's shadow pressed over him, though some of his defeat seemed to evaporate as his father nudged him. he missed that the gesture was none too soft - maybe because he was too busy wallowing in his own self pity.
for a few seconds he remained unmoved, guiltily following his father's gaze, tracking revui's presence.. but then after consideration, arcturus followed dutifully behind moonspear's wizened baron, shame following hot on his heels.
RE: tremble - Charon - December 11, 2018
Arcturus was just a kid, but some day he would understand it. Perhaps one day he would have children of his own and he would have a similar situation where he could not explain to his child that he had done all in his power, and would do all in his power, but sometimes, you just didn't have any power left. Charon did not like losing his children -- in fact, Galaxy's death had weighed heavily upon him and though there was no proof Yami was dead he feared every day to find her dead in a gap somewhere or in the claws of a bear, just like Galaxy -- but it was also a part of life, a threat that could come true. He had found that out last year and had since built a cement wall around his heart so that no one could see the vulnerability in the form of his children.
Thankfully there were no more words against him from Arcturus, and Charon's mind was easily cleared of the issue as they moved on along the borders. "Have you been thinking of what trades you'd like to pursue? What role do you want in the pack?" Charon asked, easily steering the topic to a more casual subject.
RE: tremble - Arcturus - December 19, 2018
arcturus was still simmering as charon guided them over moonspear's splintered realm. his tongue was well reined in, and his shame heavily weighing around his neck -- but his mind had never stopped its own revolution.
thankfully his father was the diplomat arcturus would never be -- it was easy for him to navigate to a new subject, drawing a reluctant arcturus along for the switch in conversation by baiting him with the one thing that fascinated children the most: talking about themselves.
he hadn't given his purpose - his own personal legacy - much consideration. arcturus in truth did not find he had much of an identity: he was simply the shadow that hounded his brother's heels, the protector of his sister (and failed one, for yami), and the servant to do hydra's bidding. perhaps in essence all he was was a glorified yes-man, though that term had yet to be taught to him.
"'unno." arcturus mumbled, still set off by what had happened moments prior. and now he was required to be introspective, to measure himself up in the immeasurable eyes of his father - what child wouldn't fail that test?
"i like fighting." he admitted, but his tone was unhappy. "maybe i could be a protector."
but he hadn't protected yami, had he?
RE: tremble - Charon - December 20, 2018
It seemed at first Arcturus remained in his bubble of grumbliness, but luckily Charon didn't have to call him out on it. The father allowed his son a moment to figure out an answer, to which came a not-that-unexpected answer -- fighting. Charon was a warrior and guardian and Amekaze was a fighter too, so it wasn't surprising that their children would be the same. The cerberus had shown the potential of their bloodline very clearly and Arcturus, it seemed, was a lot like Revui in that sense, except more emotionally unstable.
"I think you'd be good at protecting," said Charon. "Your mother and I are both warriors, too." In the light of the recent subject of Yami, it might be good for lesson number one when it comes to protection, thought Charon. "Lesson number one: You can never protect everyone." A harsh lesson, perhaps, in the light of Yami's disappearance, even if a necessary one in Charon's eyes; but then again, Charon had never been much of a sugar-coating diplomat.
RE: tremble - Arcturus - December 20, 2018
i think you'd be good at protecting. arcturus' chest (not so little anymore, mind you) seemed to inflate in response, but any goading he had was short-lived. charon's words, wise as they were, cut him down soon as he had found his own four legs to stand on. feeling mulish, he did not answer right away.
arcturus would have to come back to this nugget of wisdom later, and inspect it from all sides. he had not protected yami - his father had failed in that too. this advice seemed a bit contrary, and he wrestled with how to accept that perhaps being protective was as useless as grass growing in the snow.
unsatisfied with this lesson, arcturus grumbled aloud: "but if i can't protect anyone, how can i help them?"
RE: tremble - Charon - December 21, 2018
Arcturus seemed happy at first and then deflated again at the unpopular lesson. Charon liked this phase because children were malleable yet already grown and useful for the pack, but he hated it because they tended to get moody quicker and were often arrogant (he didn't really realise that this latter thing may just be a side-effect of his superb parenting skills). Arcturus was suffering from much the same, thinking he should -- and naïvely thinking he could -- protect everyone all the time.
Well, it was never too early to learn that life wasn't fair like that. "I didn't say you can't protect anyone -- just not everyone all at once. You can't be everywhere at once, can you? So you can't be there to make sure nobody you love gets hurt, ever, because you can't be with all of them, all the time." Charon looked at Arcturus, hoping the words would hit home at least a little bit.
RE: tremble - Arcturus - December 28, 2018
truth be told, arcturus wasn't exactly fond of this cold logic. he accepted charons' tutelage begrudgingly, knowing better than to question his father again. the blaze of resentment from mere minutes prior was receding -- but he still kept his inner rebel harshly reined.
he sighed; a contentious noise most often heard from the insufferable lips of a teenager.. but his father was right - arcturus couldn't imagine how he could be everywhere at once (but maybe he could herd everyone into the same room, twenty-four seven, so they were always with him? that was feasible, right?). hanging his head low, he conceded with a quiet nod, though he remained silent in case his father had more wisdom to spare.
RE: tremble - Charon - January 08, 2019
Arcturus seemed to resign and didn't give any more 'buts'. Charon found it hard to tell whether he was still listening and if so, if he was really listening or just hearing the words. It didn't really matter, he supposed. Sooner or later Arcturus would realise the truth to these words.
In silence Charon continued their patrol, unless Arcturus had any more questions to ask.
do you want to fade this, and have a new one where they search for Revui together? :)
RE: tremble - Arcturus - January 12, 2019
the boy did not have the gumption for further questions, though underneath his dark scowl a thousand of them pressed to his tongue. he kept silent, patrolling alongside his father. someday, he would see the virtue to charon's words -- they were lessons hard won, but lessons only those that had gone under the crucible of life would ever understand.
too young to grasp such worldly concepts, arcturus rolled on -- someday, he would get it.
but not now.