beneath a cloudy, overcast sky. amongst a shoreline with the ocean slicing through the sand & gravel, little streams running themselves into smaller holes where the water had pooled up-- a high tide would surely trap some small creatures in these pools, unable to escape until the gentle push of the moon called the waves closer to the shore. amatsu carelessly heaved her body over sharp, pointed rocks-- giving herself some minor wounds in the process, but she was blissfully unaware of the worse injuries she could attain. she she-wolf pounced over to the makeshift tidepools as quickly as she could, peering into them individually; only long enough to see if there were any mysteries stuck inside. lolling her tongue out of her mouth and panting, the scrawny wolf weaved around the area in a figure-eight pattern, her tail trailing behind her & her fur lightly bristling in the wind.
home.
this had to be it. this had to be the place, this had to be the waters that were calling out to her. the cloudy sky, the deep, green-tinted ocean, whose depths descended into an inky blackness as the entities deeper and deeper down become more alien & unknown to the modern world... but not to her. she knew what was down there. she had conversed with th creatures in the trenches to the creatures so high in the sky they swore thye'd never come down to the mortal realm. amatsu, dear amatsu, she knows them all.
perhaps the lectures she was given at the pinnacle were true.
flopping onto her belly, she rolled around in the sand. her silvery pelt becoming stricken with sand that glistened underneath the very limited light of the sun, who was hiding behind a cloudy sky. rolling back into an upright position, she stretched her front paws out in front of her and leaned onto her side, her tail curled onto the ground, slowly beating up and down.
the sky. the sea. the clouds & the weather itself. it was all calling her. it had to be.
yes. this was home.

staring out into the ocean-- feeling the breeze on her face as she closed her eyes and perked her ears to attention-- she let out a long, harrowing sigh. being a goddess was lonely company. unable to talk to the creatures that adored her so, unable to communiate with the weather of which she was sure she commanded, not a single crack of lightning to reignite a spark within her. her nihilism, her sickness, it bubbles up inside her stomach and takes form in a sudden burst of self-depreciation. leaning her head down onto the sand near her paws, her senses come to a tinge. she could feel someone else's presence, although they seemed to be a rather's distance away. a chuff, a distance noise, is what she hears another female utter in her direction.
amatsu doesn't have anything to say to this, she eyes the wolfess and gives her a quiet greeting bark.
her eyes direct themselves back towards the open sea, watching as birds glide gracefully through the sky, tearing through the clouds with such elegance. she wondered when she'd be able to do so as well.
another wolf pads up to her slowly, this one much larger and closer, looking down at her and letting out a chuff,
''it's a lovely day, no?''
amatsu's attention is directed upwards, to which her eyes meet with a wolf who's golden gaze fills her with caution. a towering mountain, to her, spoke with a sense of caution in his tone. she could understand; meeting others wasn't always her favorite thing ever. 
,,it's fairly nice here, yes,'' her voice shakes a little, ,,it feels familiar.'' she's aware her words probably make no sense.

,,ahh... i suppose, i must just feel at home in any bay.''  she responds, and out of the corner of her vision she can see the other female turn away and break into a sprint. that was odd, she didn't even really say hello-- but at least she had gotten a bark back. of course, this didn't stop the lady from wondering whether she other wolf was okay or not; she seemed to be in a rush. the man sat next to her, oberseving the waves. ,,it is very pretty. the way it sparkles... the sand, i can do without, but-- the water, the clouds, having them both together... ignites something in me.'' thoughts flowed through her head, not unlike the way the ocean does. the clouds... the water... she was one with them, or so she was very positive she was.
''do you live around here?'' the question rang in her head, she rattled her brain for an answer that doesn't over-share and shock. it seems around the water was the only way she could keep a cool head, apparently. ,,no, i don't live around here,'' she started to speak, her voice flat and slighty monotone. she wondered if, one day, she could go back. she probably wouldn't want to. ,,i was born very, very far from here. a lot happened, and in half a year i've ended up here... somehow.'' she tilted her head and looked up at the sand-swept male next to her. he was very pretty, to her. she'd not seen wolves of many other colors before. ,,what about you?'' she inquired to him.

she closed her eyes and lay her head down on her paws, perking her ears up as she listened to the traveller's story. a gentle breeze brushing her fur with the scent of the ocean all around them. the cloud cover had been ever so present, she wondered if anything would come from it eventually. rain would be nice. she'd never seen snow before, only hearing the word itself few times. she was always curious about it, snow. she couldn't help but wonder if it was something she'd enjoy experiencing.
he explained that he had lived close by now, gesturing with his muzzle gently down the beach. ,,it must be nice to have a place to call home,'' she started responding, ,,i haven't had that since i was ex-- since i left.'' catching herself before she finished her thought, it's probably better she had corrected herself. there's no telling how anyone would react to her banishment, she wasn't sure yet, if any of her distant relatives were here. ,,the scenery is gorgeous. i think this whole place, really, is.'' she was enjoying his company, however. ,,so... what are you called around here?'' although slightly wary of sharing her own name, it was only polite of her.

his expression was calm and relaxed; his composure content, he was gentle yet she had the feeling in the back of her throat that he had a harder side to him-- but doesn't everyone? shifting her position a bit to get a little closer to him, the stranger gave her his name. ''govinda,'' the name slid off of the tongue very nicely. a smooth name, akin to the waves, she thought it suited him fairly well.
,,amatsumagatsuchi,'' she spat out her full name at him quickly, realizing that it was probably a little too quick-- ,,but, uh, amatsu for short.'' she looked up into his eyes and flashed him a gentle smile. the remark he made, about still settling in, she could relate. it seemed 'settling in' was something she was constantly doing, honestly. home was something special, something intimate.

as the man had greeted her and dipped his head, her tail started wagging lightly across the sand. she was trying not to get it all over the place-- she was a little dreamily zoned out & wasn't completely aware of her surroundings. half of her was somewhere else, in a distant land... she hadn't talked to someone as calm as him since... a time she couldnt recall, actually. it was refreshing to have a conversation without her being an anxious disaster for once in her life.
as she was drifting, she could vaguely make out sounds and smells; but his question brought her back to reality immediately. ''are you looking for a home?'' a light wave of anxiety ran over her as it was asked, she was looking for somewhere she could fit in-- but in her mind, it was very much easier said than done. amatsu was a delusional, anxious wolf & her communication isn't the best. the waves gently rolled over the water, she tried to time her breathing with them-- to lower her heart rate, to calm herself down. with a dry gulp, she answered the question. ,,i am looking for a home, but... i don't think anyone would want me around, if they got to... know me, i guess,'' her speech was dry and shaky, it was odd to her. there must have been something she was missing, her form and appearance... it was anything but canine, or so she thought it was. her entire life, she had never been allowed to see her own self. she knows what she looks like from what her old pack had described to her-- she had lived such a sheltered, clutic life. ,,i think it would be hard for me to find somewhere to fit in, as much as i want it.'' she turned her gaze up towards him and tilted her head a little bit to the right.

she noticed the wolf's brow raise after her initial statement, which didn't necessarily surprise her. she was used to odd looks by now. after she had finished her short monologue, the man waited a second or so before responding; she was slightly nervous, though. she was always nervous.
his words gave her comfort, a spark of reassurance that maybe she wasn't a complete monster. ,,it's not that i'm a bad person-- i don't think i am, anyway,'' taking a breath, she waited a second to arrange what she wanted to convey in her head. ,,i, uh, grew up very sheltered-- i didn't know there was a world, even, outside of my home. i was blessed, in my birth pack. they told me my egg was struck by a bolt of lightning, that it was a heavenly sign.'' she wasn't quite sure if she sounded sane or not. ,,they told me i was a goddess, that the clouds, the sky, the storms, the combination of these natural phenomenons were what gave birth to me. they always described me as different from them; instead of fur i have scales, my ears are small and the horns erupting from my skull were made of gold. my ribs, my heart, they pulse with the head of the sun. one day, i started doubting what they said. that was when they kicked me out. they told me i need to act like the heavenly horror i am.'' her voice starts getting lower as it breaks. ,,i... don't really know who i am. my identity is a goddess, the living embodiment of storms, but sometimes i struggle to believe it's true.'' and just like that, she monologued her entire life as she knew it to someone. she had finally talked to someone about the delusion she lives in.

a farmiliar feeling started to brew in her chest. a feeling she knew all too well, a feeling she wish didn't plague her constantly. no matter how hard she tried to push it down, it never worked. it bubbled. more, and more. it kept bubbling. it never stopped. she could feel the crumbling, she tension in her ribcage as one of the hardest realities she would ever had to accept would need to be swallowed-- but, as always, she refused. fighting her sickness, she wanted to lay herself down to rest.
i wish i wasn't like this.
stretching her paws in front of her, she dipped her head towards the ground; resting it on her legs with her muzzle slightly pointed downwards. she listened carefully as the man talked about his tongue, his culture. indra. she thought it was a gorgeous name; simple, elegant. one that doesn't have a ridiculous amount of syllables; one not written and spoken in a language so foreign to those who have never been exposed. he spoke about the pressure she had to live up to, the grand fantasies her family had pushed on her since the day she was born.
unfortnately, for her, this was the only life she had ever know. their fantasies were her indentity.
his speech was direct, he hadn't spoken in rhymes or riddles though his tone was passionate. it was caring. his whispers of foreign words whisped through the wind, caressing her ears with their syllables and sounds. she turned her gaze towards him, feeling as if she didn't have the strength to move her entire head from the ground. ,,thank you,'' came her response; short, quick, quiet. she had no idea what else to say-- the chocolate colored wolf had comforted her in such a subtle way, but it was something she wasn't used to.
she wondered if this is what it was like to have someone who genuinely cared about you.