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+--- Thread: Blacktail Deer Plateau Grief plagues us all (/showthread.php?tid=3134)
Grief plagues us all - Blue Willow - July 05, 2014
Blue woke up with gritty eyes and sadness evident in her very countenance, but she decided that this was enough, it was time to go check on @Peregrine and then Atticus she had been avoiding both of them, only because she was so sad. Well now she needed to check on both of them. Tilting her head she looked out the den mouth, and with a sad sniff, she started towards the closest place Perry would be. She looked down watching her feet, she did catch a small morsel for him, but she doubted he would eat.
She approached the site, and chuffed gently to get his attention hoping he was near, before she turned the corner, that way he could situate himself however he liked, if perhaps he didn’t want her to see exactly how full of grief he was. She stepped into view and mentally prepared herself, and besides she wanted to know if he felt the same way she did, that perhaps she had been wrong.
RE: Grief plagues us all - Peregrine Redhawk - July 05, 2014
Osprey's death was horrific enough, yet Peregrine's recent discovery—Pura draped across the grave of his mother and his sister, happily gnawing on their bones—had left the Alpha male absolutely hollow. Dead inside, he thought to himself, I'm dead inside. He just couldn't erase the memory from his mind and it tortured him. The worst part was that he felt so tender toward his remaining children, yet at the same time, he could barely look at Pura right now.
He hadn't told anyone about what had happened and didn't have the least desire to share the gruesome image with anybody else. He was slowly beginning to realize that if he didn't unburden himself of it, though, the image would brand itself on his brain and never go away. It would torment him forever. Peregrine made the grim decision to tell whoever showed up first, unless of course it was Pura himself or his two little girls.
Thinking about them made Peregrine's heart ache. Now was the time to keep the other three as near and dear as possible. Yet Pura had snacked on his loved ones' remains and both Ty and Saēna seemed to be having trouble accepting Osprey Jr.'s absence. The Alpha wondered if they were simply too young to understand the concept of permanence. In any case, he'd asked Dante, the aspiring Counselor, to check in with each of the pups to help them cope, especially because he was useless himself at the moment.
A soft noise distracted Peregrine from his thoughts and he sat up to receive his visitor. It turned out to be Blue Willow and he gave her a sad look. He didn't think he would ever be able to smile again. "Willow," he said, "I'm sorry to do this to you but I have to tell you something disturbing I discovered. I have to tell someone or it's going to destroy me." He sucked in a quiet breath, met her eyes apologetically and said, "Yesterday, I found Pura at the graves. He had dug up both Osprey's and Pied's remains and he was... chewing on them." He shuddered, just as disturbed now as he'd been when he'd first walked in on the macabre scene.
RE: Grief plagues us all - Blue Willow - July 06, 2014
Blue saw sad eyes and countenance turn towards her and her heart clenched tight. She didn’t have time to process that look before he began to speak, and the words that dripped from his maw, made her blood run cold. What else could possibly have happened? Did one of the others kids have an accident? Was there something else going on that she didn’t know about? What?
As he began to speak she began to continue forward only to freeze as he spoke about Pura and the bones. Granted that was deeply disturbing and she felt sick at the thought, however at the same time Pura was young and he didn’t seem to be developing as quickly as the other kids anyway. He was extremely anti social and he couldn’t speak very well, so it maybe just the simple fact that he didn’t understand, but how could she explain that to Peregrine without causing him more worry and heart ache.
She frowned as she contemplated the thoughts and the words she could use, while fighting the bile that rose up in the back of her throat. It was disturbing and it bothered her, but for the time being she refused to worry about it, until he was a little bit older.
Perry, that is very disturbing to say the least, but I don’t think Pura can help it. she stopped for a moment to collect her thoughts a frown in her brows. You know Pura was early and sometimes, not always but sometimes pups who are early show signs of development delays later on in life, and I think Pura has some. He doesn’t speak very well if at all, as you have noticed I’m sure and he tends to not think as deeply about things, he is very simple minded still, and I think perhaps maybe he didn’t understand. I’m not saying to completely forget that terrible ordeal and frankly I would have been furious if I had found him, it’s probably good that you did and I didn’t. Anyway, perhaps we should just wait and see as he gets older if there is any other disturbing things he does, for now though I think he just doesn’t understand. Granted I could be wrong. Did you explain to him why it was wrong? She tilted head and continued forward to sit near him, to share in his grief for a moment.
RE: Grief plagues us all - Peregrine Redhawk - July 16, 2014
Sorry for the wait!
The feeling of repulsion passed in the next moment and he already felt lighter for having unloaded his burden. Peregrine peered at his friend almost guiltily, black ears tilting forward as she shared her thoughts with him. He nodded at her sage words. He knew all of that. It was reassuring to hear Blue Willow say these things.
"I know," he replied. "I don't think this is indication of any bigger issues," he added, the thought never having occurred to him. He knew Pura was developmentally delayed in some ways, yet he'd never considered it particularly troubling. Was it an ominous sign? He didn't think so, despite the previous events. "I just... I was so close to snapping, Willow. What if I had..." He let that thought trail off into the wind and answered her query more directly, "I did my best to explain to him the meaning of the word sacred."
RE: Grief plagues us all - Blue Willow - July 17, 2014
No worries love :D
Blue liked to think that she helped him enough that he was feeling a bit better. He seemed to be a bit lighter even, or she hoped so anyway. She smiled at his nod and she settled down curling her tail around her toes softly.
Blue willow’s ears tilted forward as she listened to him. She didn’t really think that it was an indication of bigger issues either. Granted yes Pura was a little bit slower at speaking than the others, but his other things didn’t seem to be behind, and that was all that mattered in the long run. Look at Crete even though she wouldn’t say his name right now, but he had been mute and was fine. Granted his choices were questionable. Blue smiled sadly and spoke softly the important thing here to remember Perry is that you didn’t, and that is all that really matters. There’s no reason to think of the what if’s, they can cause you so much unrest. You didn’t snap Perry and I imagine it may have crossed your mind, but you were in control enough not to do so. You are a good man Perry and I don’t think that you would have snapped anyway. You shouldn’t worry about what could have been, but rather what had been. And see you turned the whole issue into a learning experience.
RE: Grief plagues us all - Peregrine Redhawk - July 19, 2014
Peregrine already knew of his friend's talent for healing but he hadn't realized that it extended to the mind and spirit as well as the body. As she soothed him, he looked at her appreciatively and simply nodded. She was right. He hadn't done anything regrettable, even if the thought had crossed his mind. And as upset and disturbed as he'd felt upon first discovering Pura, reminding himself that he was a simple boy who'd made an honest mistake would hopefully push the entire thing to the back of Peregrine's mind, where he would leave it buried.
Like Osprey. Like Pied, he found himself thinking. The thought was as crushing as it was sudden. Peregrine's face suddenly crumbled and his head dropped so that his muzzle pointed at the ground. He didn't make any noise, yet his eyes overflowed, creating tracks in his dark fur and causing a small puddle to accumulate between his two front feet.
RE: Grief plagues us all - Blue Willow - July 19, 2014
Blue liked to think that she was well rounded, and she liked to think she could help everyone with all sorts of problems. That is what made her a healer, her ability to heal whether it was for emotionally needs or physical, but she knew she sure tried hard enough. Blue nodded back and smiled gently and softly, albeit sadly.
Blue’s gentle face filled with dismay and her green eyes grew extremely sad as she watched her friends face crumble. She ghosted forward and tucked her head under his in a small gesture of support. Letting him know as best she could that she was there for him and she knew sort of what he was going through. She could never imagine or even touch the welling of grief that he held, but she felt a fraction of it and that was enough to know that he was hurting.
RE: Grief plagues us all - Peregrine Redhawk - July 19, 2014
When Blue Willow swept closer to him, he moved to accommodate her, leaning against her soft, warm embrace. Right now, it felt like everything had gone wrong. Pura wasn't the only concern. What about Ty and Saē? They may not have dug up their sister's bones and gnawed on them, yet surely none of the kids would ever be right again. And he'd lost Hawkeye long ago. He'd known familial bliss not so long ago... now everything had really gone to hell.
Of course, there were good things left in his life. It was just difficult for Peregrine to remember them right now. Willow's friendship is one of them, he reminded himself, drawing in a shaky breath. It was the only positive he could think of at the moment and he forgave himself for that. This was a dark moment. It would surely pass, though the Alpha male had a feeling that his life would be various shades of bleak and gray for a long time to come.
RE: Grief plagues us all - Blue Willow - July 20, 2014
Blue took his weight and lent her strength to him as best she could. The sadness around him was palatable, it hurt to know that he was hurting and not knowing how to fix it. That was what she did she fixed others, and this time, well this time she was at a loss. She could not fix him, no matter how hard she tried. She could make him feel better for a little while, but this ultimately he had to get better with time.
I know that Ican’t make it any better Perry, but for what it’s worth I’m very sorry. She brushed her muzzle across his brow hoping to give him a gentle supportive touch. She wasn’t sure what else to say or do, but she did know that she could sit here all day and let him lean on her if it was what it took.
RE: Grief plagues us all - Peregrine Redhawk - July 20, 2014
This will be my last post, so feel free to post again or ship it straight to the archives. :)
Peregrine couldn't manage any words, yet he drew back slightly and looked into Blue Willow's face, trying to convey to her that he appreciated her presence, even if there was nothing either of them could really do. He then touched the side of her neck with his nose and lingered there for a moment or two before exhaling.
"I'm going to get some rest," he said in a husky voice, dropping to the ground like a sack of potatoes. He felt totally spent. Whether or not he would actually get any shuteye was debatable. But he had no will or energy to do anything but lay here and try not to let his dark thoughts consume him.
RE: Grief plagues us all - Blue Willow - July 21, 2014
Blue gave Perry a small smile when he looked at her, she knew that he appreciated her presence, even if he was quiet. She felt his breath leave him in a whoosh and she wished she could make him feel better, but even this healing was beyond her capabilities. She was good, but she wasn’t that good.
Blue shifted and lay down near him so that she could continue to offer the support he so clearly needed and she sighed and kept watch while he slept. Intent to make sure no more tragedy befell the plateau lands.