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+--- Thread: Blackbeak Bluff Devoted to neurosis now (/showthread.php?tid=32336)
Devoted to neurosis now - Midar - January 19, 2019
A harsh, frigid wind beat against the cliffs, lifting the Melonii's raven coat with each icy gust. He paid little attention to the biting cold; his thoughts were too occupied with what he had discovered while out looking for new members to strengthen his clan so that they might finally claim a territory of their own. His most recent trip near their forest was interrupted by an unexpected meeting with his family. Their numbers had grown recently, and Damien and Nyx felt they were ready to take what they so clearly deserved. He only had one thing to do now: tell @Alarian that they would need to leave the sound soon and join his family in the weald.
Careful, efficient steps brought him closer to Rusalka's claim, and once inside the borders, he would seek out his lover and tell him of his plan. He was unsure how the other man would take the news. It was clear to Midar that the scarred male enjoyed being on the beach, and as much as the beast hated taking away anything that made Alarian happy, there just was not really another option. His family was waiting for his return, and he would be doing so with his lover in tow.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Alarian - February 06, 2019
ew i suck sorry this took forever
Alarian is actually looking for Midar himself today; he'd noticed his lover's absence, of course — and had promptly panicked. It'd been far too easy to feel abandoned, even so soon after their mutual confession, and he'd realized he just can't handle losing anyone else, even if they want to leave. Especially not Midar. So he's here, sort of; he might not be here much longer, though. Little and frail as he is, each carelessly harsh gust of wind threatens to throw him off balance, inching him closer toward where the cliffs break off into the ocean with each passing second. He's too busy shivering and fighting the wind to really notice, though he notices immediately when his lover's dark figure appears in the distance. He releases a breath of relief and his pace quickens slightly, focus centering on his ink-furred lover as he moves toward him and safely away from the edge of the cliffs. Pretty much what I'm getting at here is Alarian is definitely the type of dipshit to fall off a cliff if you leave him alone for too long, so you might want to keep a better eye on him.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Midar - February 06, 2019
Fear made him move faster when he saw Alarian sitting so close to the edge of the cliff. He still didn't quite trust that nothing would happen to his lover, and seeing him in such a precarious position made his heart race a little. Relief soon replaced the fear when the other man thankfully turned from the rocky ledge to move towards the beast. Midar had missed his lover, but he didn't realize quite how much until he laid eyes on him, and when they reached each other, he pressed face into the fur on Alarian's neck and inhaled his scent. He was quiet for a minute, taking some time to revel in his favorite scent.
I'm sorry I had to leave,he said as he pulled back a little to look at his lover's scarred, handsome face.
I had to check in with my family.His face hardened a little as he spoke his next words.
I actually need to talk to you about something.Midar wasn't sure how he would take it, but he hoped it wouldn't be too much of an issue to uproot them and move to where his family had all gathered.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Alarian - February 06, 2019
His breath catches slightly as Midar draws nearer, and he opens his mouth to speak half a beat before his lover embraces him. Heat rushes to his face as he registers the feeling and he whines softly, leaning into the touch and forgetting whatever he'd been about to say entirely. He buries his own face in Midar's blue-black fur, closing his eyes as he soaks in the affection. The moment seems far too fleeting, and he can't quite help the second whine that slips past his lips as disappointment washes over him. He shakes his head slightly at his lover's apology, easily forgetting his anxiety over his absence, and presses back against him as he speaks. A sigh escapes him with Midar's next words, and he can't help but protest.
Can't we talk later?He murmurs, mouth finding the other's jawline with reverent kisses.
I missed you.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Midar - February 06, 2019
The needy whines tore at his self-control enough already even when followed by a dismissal of his request. Even as his lover pressed into him, he began to insist but paused as he felt Alarian's kisses on his jaw. He drew in harsh breath through his nose, closing his eyes and letting himself get lost in the feeling for a few seconds. Normally, he wouldn't even hesitate to give his lover what he clearly wanted, but Midar really did need to talk to him, and the sooner, the better. Although, part of him wondered if their talk might go more smoothly if Alarian was sated first.
I missed you, too,he managed to get out as he swallowed.
And as much as I would enjoy showing you just how much I missed you, I have something I need to talk to you about first,the beast said, his words still a little breathy as he fought the urge to just say fuck it and give in to his need.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Alarian - February 14, 2019
His ears fall against his crown as it becomes clear that his lover is intent on whatever talk they need to have, and he pulls away slightly, stomach tightening with irrational anxiety. It should be obvious that nothing is wrong, given the way Midar had greeted him, but... he can't help but wonder.
Alright,He says softly, swallowing.
What is it?He studies his lover's features for a moment, gaze dropping when the sight inspires another bolt of anxiety. Every time he looks at him, he sees the glaring differences between them, and he's certain that one day Midar will really look too, and he'll realize that he can do much, much better; even knowing that today is likely not that day, it is a fear that cuts him with each breath.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Midar - February 14, 2019
He took a few seconds to collect himself before answering. Part of him still urged the beast to give into his impulses, but it was quickly outweighed by his need to know how Alarian would feel about leaving here and following him back to where his family now resided.
My family has claimed a forest not too far from here,he started, getting right to the point.
I want us to go live there with them.They hadn't been here long, so he didn't think the other man was too attached to being here, but still he wondered how he would feel about living with Midar's family. They were...not like most families, but it's not like they were any different than the beast, so Alarian hopefully wouldn't be in for any surprises. He watched his lover expectantly as he waited for his reaction, a little unsure how he would feel about all of this, even with his attempts to rationalize everything to himself.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Alarian - February 14, 2019
His ears perk slightly with intrigue as Midar begins, slowly inching back to lay flat again as he continues. Cold dread blooms in the center of his chest even before he fully registers his lover's request, and he takes a step back, unable to hide the frown tugging at his features.
What? But — we've just settled with Rusalka,Some part of him struggles to grasp the concept of family in the way Midar perceives it; he recalls no family of his own, no inherent bonds, no expected loyalty. If he'd ever known any of those things, they are lost to him now — and why should he upturn his own life again for such values?
I don't want to leave.He adds after a moment, swallowing. There is no doubt in his mind that his refusal will upset Midar — but clearly Midar hadn't considered that his request might upset him.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Midar - February 14, 2019
He sighed heavily as Alarian made his displeasure clear. Midar wasn't exactly surprised, but it still irritated the beast that he would just turn his down his request without even a second of consideration. Still, he tried to control his anger a little in the event that maybe his lover just didn't quite understand the gravity of the situation.
I know we haven't been here very long, but my plan was never to leave my family permanently,Midar explained, hoping the other man would try to see it from his perspective.
This was just temporary until they were more settled,he stated further.
I can't just desert them; I have to go live with them, and I'm not leaving without you.His anger slipped some from his control and leaked into his last words. He couldn't help it; the thought of leaving his lover here by himself absolutely infuriated him. It would not happen. Who knows what kind of trouble he would get into, not to mention the distance would just be too much for the beast. He needed Alarian to be wherever he was; why couldn't he see that?
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Alarian - February 14, 2019
Midar's explanation calms him slightly at first, and he starts to warm to the idea — until he registers the last few words. Irritation flashes through him and he sighs through his nose, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.
You don't own me, Midar,He says, gladly taking the opportunity to find something else to be upset about — some other reason he can say no to this whole thing.
You can't just drag me off to go live with your family — I don't know anything about them. You've barely told me anything about yourself.And I like the beach, he adds silently to himself, though he doesn't dare give voice to the trivial thought.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Midar - February 14, 2019
His lover was right; he hadn't really told him much about himself, but that was because he didn't really know shit about himself. He couldn't remember anything about his life before his head injury, and plus, it wasn't like he had ever really asked. He shelved that for now, though, because Alarian's first comment--his statement that the beast didn't own him--had stolen his complete attention. Midar raised a challenging eyebrow. He wouldn't put it quite like that, but the scarred male was his, and he was fairly certain he had made that known already. He'd gladly reiterate it, though.
You are mine,he said with quiet anger, his possessiveness causing his jaw to clench as he said the last word. He drew in a few heavy breaths, staring at his lover, daring him to dispute his claim.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Alarian - February 14, 2019
Truth be told, he isn't as concerned with the principle of it as he is with the current situation; perhaps it's foolish of him, but he really wouldn't mind Midar's possessive streak if it didn't currently conflict with his own desires. Still, something about the statement inflames him further, even as his chest tightens with a familiar fear at his lover's anger. He wants to deny it, tell Midar that he belongs to no one and that he isn't going anywhere — but the words won't come.
You can't make me do anything,He says quietly instead, swallowing hard and trying to stifle the dread settling deep in his gut. He pauses a beat, then turns, intending to go back to Rusalka; he might never admit it, but part of him is afraid to draw this out.
RE: Devoted to neurosis now - Midar - February 15, 2019
No one made him angrier than Alarian--he seemed to possess a special gift for saying and doing just the right things to incite the beast's temper. But, he hadn't denied Midar's claim, which calmed him some even as his lover turned to walk away from him. The beast sprang forward, passing Alarian and turning to face him once more and hoping he would stop walking long enough for Midar to try and reason with him again.
I don't want to make you do anything,he said first.
But do you really want to live here while I live somewhere else?he asked.
Would you not be just as miserable as I would be?Midar just didn't think he could function like that, and he didn't think his lover would be any better off.