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+--- Thread: Sun Mote Copse my heart is open (/showthread.php?tid=32444)
my heart is open - Eljay - January 24, 2019
Eljay had made a habit out of sleeping by @Wildfire's side. He wasn't really sure how she felt towards him at all, and he was too pussy to take much initiative in the ways of telling her how he felt, so for now he just made sure to monitor whether her stomach was getting bigger or if there were any kicks yet (.. obviously, the answer was no to all.. and as midwife he knew this, but still he couldn't help but make sure Wildfire was healthy and good and check, you know, just in case). And of course he made sure that Wiffle herself was healthy, too. Eljay felt anxious and excited at the same time for the possibility of having pups. He was nervous about everything it might change, even if it was basically his dream forever to be a father. But he wanted what his parents had. He didn't want Wiffle to do it for him, he wanted her to do it because she loved him, too, which made him wonder if he'd given in too early and should have told her they could wait. Either way, Eljay slept by Wiffle and brought her food occasionally, but other than that spent most of his waking hours doing other things. Such as hunting, filling caches, looking for herbs or patrolling.
He was over the moon that mommy and daddy had come to join them here at the Firebirds pack, too. It would've been weird living in this pack with Wiffle without them there. Honestly, Eljay felt oddly relieved that everyone wasn't signing rather than speaking here all the time; he was notoriously bad at ptero. This made him feel a little guilty, but he tried to push it aside and not think too much of it. This was, so far, just the pack for him; with the sweet Wildfire at the head, and some really nice wolves like Wraen and mommy and daddy there too. It was going to be a good year, he thought.
There was a hill at the side of the rendezvous site with snow on it where there weren't as many trees leading up to the hill. Eljay wondered idly if he'd be standing here this time next year and would roll or slide down the snow with his pups. If they were born in spring, then they'd be almost adults by this time... Wait, no -- they would be adults, officially. Eljay glanced down the hill and then, figuring he should make sure the hill was baby proof or maybe just in a cheery mood, he decided to give it a whirl and started sliding down the hill face-first through the snow.
RE: my heart is open - Wildfire - January 24, 2019
They had fallen into a routine since coupling during her heat, which Wildfire was loath to break now that it was over. Why should she? She enjoyed Eljay's company and the feeling seemed to be mutual. Plus, they were going to be parents together: a team. Their future offspring would link them for the rest of their lives, come what may.
She did wonder about those words he'd shouted in his sleep though. Did he really love her in a romantic way? And how did she feel about him? She knew she couldn't force what simply wasn't there. But she could be a slow burn. Since leaving Drageda, she'd thought this particular chapter of her life was closed and she'd come to terms with it. But here was her chance to find love again as well as expand her family. There was a lot to contemplate, for sure.
When she went looking for him after a ruminative patrol, Wildfire found Eljay at the rendezvous site. The word that came to mind when she saw what he was doing was "capering." Her tail waved as she silently watched a moment, then woofed to announce her presence. Whatever the nature of her relationship with him, she was certainly fond of him. And she knew Eljay would never, ever leave her side. That thought alone made her heart squeeze with a rush of fondness.
Once she was certain she had his attention, Wildfire said, "Hey, I wanted to ask you something." She'd been thinking about ranks a lot lately (it kind of came with the territory of being a leader). She could picture him balking at the idea of leadership. She wondered about it, though that's not what she had in mind right now. She did have something else in mind, though, and she hoped he would embrace it.
RE: my heart is open - Eljay - January 25, 2019
Although he was going a little faster than he had anticipated, this was pretty fun in general. Eljay decided that he should do this with his children some time. Well, if there were any children, of course, and only when they were a little older and if there would be snow, of course.
As he landed at the bottom of the hill, leaving a trail of messed up snow behind him, Eljay heard a chuff he instantly recognised as Wiffle's. He quickly jumped to his feet, feeling a little silly for enjoying snow-gliding like that when he should probably be doing important things.
I uh - I was pup-proofing the hill,he said apologetically, clearly not having hoped on getting 'caught' like this. He didn't want Wiffle to think that all he did was immature, silly things. He could totally do good serious things, too!
But Wiffle didn't seem too bothered and she cut right to the chase, saying that she wanted to ask something of him.
Oh?Eljay queried and he waited for the question to come forth.
RE: my heart is open - Wildfire - January 26, 2019
It didn't bother her that he reacted as if he should be ashamed of himself, though Wildfire wondered if that behavior would eventually stop as they grew closer together and he became more comfortable around her, aware that he could be himself without judgment. She wanted to tell him this but she knew that simply demonstrating and letting time do its thing was the only possibility of success.
"I wish I'd been smart enough to think of pup-proofing," the Sovereign mused truthfully. She paused a moment, thinking about the fates of Phoenix and Bat, but knew no amount of prevention could've saved them. Sometimes, the world was simply cruel and freak accidents happened. "This looks like it'll make for a fun playground. Even when the snow melts, it'll probably get muddy, especially in the spring, and it could be a sort of slip-and-slide..."
But she was getting sidetracked. Chuckling at herself, Wildfire returned to her original query. "I was hoping you'd accept a spot on my Council, as an Honoree. It's not a leadership position but it's a respected one. You're essentially the queen's consort," she quipped with a twinkle in her chestnut eyes, "and, regardless, I think you deserve the recognition. You'll be in good company too. But," she finished, "you should only accept if it's something you want for yourself. You'll be a perfectly wonderful asset to this pack as a Tradesman too."
RE: my heart is open - Eljay - January 27, 2019
The oddest thing happened then. Instead of laughing at him, or being amused, or a little weirded out, Wiffle seemed to instead think that his idea was smart..? Eljay felt a little guilty because it hadn't even really been a real idea; it was just something he came up with to not look like a silly fool who liked to slide down hills even though he was almost four years old. As Wiffle mentioned the hill might be a nice playground when muddy, Eljay glanced back at the track he'd left behind and says,
Yeah.It'd be fun to slide down the hill with the pups, for sure. It warmed Eljay's heart a little to think of it, even though he also felt anxious not knowing what the future would bring them.
Speaking of the future... Wiffle suddenly mentioned that she hoped he'd?? What?? Become part of her council?? Eljay blinked, having never been offered any special position. The'queen's consort' thing had Eljay feel a little twinge in his stomach because he sorta wanted that, he supposed, but it also made him worry what the others in the pack might think. What if they thought he was using Wiffle to get a higher position..?
Eljay looked a little bewildered at first and blurted out a
Huh? Why?before he could stop himself. Oops. Collecting himself a little, Eljay said,
I uhm.. what sort of things would that add to my responsibilities? Except, uh, being the uh, consort. Are you serious? I, wow, sorry, I don't really know how to respond, um, I mean, I'm very honoured, and -- but I just want to make sure it's a job I can do. Also, uh... Aren't you afraid that... What if others think that I was using you to get a higher position..? I mean, that's not what I -- I would never do such a thing -- I just...What if others did think that..? Obviously his question said more about him than about actually wanting to know what Wiffle thought on it; it was his own worry. One Wiffle clearly didn't share, or she wouldn't have offered. Eljay waited what the added responsibilities would be before saying yes or no; he didn't want to take on any jobs that he wouldn't be able to fulfill, of course.
RE: my heart is open - Wildfire - January 27, 2019
She quirked a brow at his point blank, "Why?" There was a patient, good-natured look on her face as she opened her mouth to explain, only for Eljay to completely bombard her. The Sovereign's mouth clapped shut as he hashed through the offer aloud, an expression of gentle bemusement settling on her face as she waited for him to finish. Even when he lapsed into silence, she waited a bit longer, just to make sure he was really done.
"Just keep doing what you're doing, Eljay, and don't over-think it," Wildfire said, trying to keep it simple, though she did decide to double back and elaborate, "Keep working your trades—you'll have plenty of opportunities for that—and that's really all that matters. And no," she tacked on there, "I'm not afraid about what others might think, though I really doubt they'll think that, for the record."
She paused there, tail swaying, and repeated her earlier words. "There's no pressure to accept. I wanted to offer it to you because I think you're worthy of it. But like I said, if you'd rather stay a Tradesman, that's perfectly fine too."
RE: my heart is open - Eljay - January 28, 2019
Wiffle openly saying she doubted anyone would think anything silly made Eljay feel like his thoughts on it were weird. But Wiffle was probably right, and in the very least he trusted her judgement a whole lot more than his own, so he nodded a somewhat embarrassed nod as he looked away bashfully. Wiffle went on to say that he shouldn't feel pressured to accept. It wasn't necessarily that Eljay didn't want to, but he was just afraid he might disappoint... Even though Wiffle had said that he only need to keep doing what he was already doing.
It surprised Eljay -- though it shouldn't have -- when Wiffle said she thought he deserved it. He wondered if she thought highly of him, I mean, she must if she thought him worthy of such an honour, but... Eljay looked thoughtful for a moment before he said, hesitantly:
Okay. I... Yes, I'd be honoured to, if you think...He hadn't really meant to add the latter bit and clapped his teeth shut to stop himself from rambling on. Eljay ended up just smiling a little oddly instead, but at least he hadn't repeated half of his previous words.
RE: my heart is open - Wildfire - January 28, 2019
At length, Eljay agreed and Wildfire smiled. It was small but there. "Good," she said, "great." And that was all there was to it. She didn't want to make a big deal out of it, lest he become overwhelmed, so she decided to leave it there.
"So," she began, clearly preparing to shift gears, "this isn't my first rodeo. But I can't quite remember when I should expect to see the first signs." And she'd thought she'd lost the pregnancy the last time, so her frame of reference was rather skewed. "And what they are. Any tips, daddy-to-be?"
RE: my heart is open - Eljay - January 28, 2019
Thanks,he murmured after accepting, a thing he'd forgotten to mention. Eljay didn't really think anyone would ever put that much trust in him that they'd want him in any sort of position. He contemplated adding that he'd love to be the queen's consort but it seemed inappropriate and suggestive (even though she'd just made the same joke), so he decided to just leave it.
Wiffle quite suddenly went on to the subject of the pups. Eljay glanced at Wiffle's belly, as if expecting to see any changes even though it was clear that it wasn't that far yet. She asked for his advice and Eljay wondered if she had really forgotten or if she was asking so he could feel useful. Either way, Eljay said:
Oh, uh -- It's different between persons, well, when you start to show things on the outside. But uh, have you been getting nauseous in previous pregnancies..? That's often an early sign, feeling sick or just different, like something's going on with your body.It was too early to tell really from the outside and in anything other than a hunch from Wiffle's side, although the way Eljay seemed to stare at Wiffle's stomach pretty much every day for a good time seemed to suggest otherwise.
RE: my heart is open - Wildfire - January 29, 2019
As the words "daddy-to-be" left her lips, Wildfire felt a warmth lodge up somewhere in the vicinity of her heart. None of her children had had a daddy before. They'd had donors, of course, and they'd had nomi and herself. This would be Wildfire's first classically conceived and reared litter. Naturally, one method wasn't any better than the other, though there was a certain fondness in her gaze as she looked to Eljay for his answer.
He asked if she'd experienced nausea and Wildfire's nose scrunched as she tried to remember. "Honestly... I don't remember. I don't think so. But I could be wrong." She shrugged her slim red shoulders. "I vaguely remember having to pee a lot... and having lots of feelings in general."
Noticing the way he gazed at her midsection, Wildfire glanced at it herself—no signs of any residents therein just yet—and then back at him. "Whenever I first feel them kick, you'll be the first to know. I want you to be able to feel them too. It's the neatest thing."
RE: my heart is open - Eljay - January 29, 2019
If Wiffle had had a lot of trouble with being nauseous in previous pregnancies than Eljay was pretty sure she would've remembered that. It didn't seem like the kind of thing one would forget. He didn't mention it though, just nodded along as Wiffle contemplated it. Having to pee a lot was also a sign that could help assess whether she was pregnant, though in the end, they were down for the waiting game a bit longer at least. Eljay also had never seen Wiffle pregnant, so he wasn't really sure what sort of things she'd show, specifically.
As Wiffle said that she would let him know right away when she felt them kick, Eljay beamed a smile. He couldn't wait to go through the whole process of the pups growing and everything.
I can't wait,he said with a fond smile, and he had to call himself back a little with the disclaimer that they didn't actually know for sure if they were pregnant (yes, Eljay was definitely one of those obnoxious men who would say "we are pregnant").
But I guess we'll have to be patient for now. Is there anything that we need to do, like... I guess that the den's already there. Does it need more... Stuff? Like fur or plants or soft stuff or toys like sticks and such?He supposed then that his last statement was a little silly. If it was too early to get too excited, then it certainly was too early to get toys for the non-existent pups. Yep, Eljay's world would pretty much be crushed if this one shot he got turned out to be nothing.
RE: my heart is open - Wildfire - January 29, 2019
"Me neither," she said with a quiet smile. It was always fun, looking forward to a new litter, although she was particularly excited for Eljay to experience fatherhood for the first time. She had loved the commander fiercely and didn't regret their time together and certainly not the family they'd built (even if that feeling wasn't mutual). But she imagined Eljay would be a little more her speed as a co-parent.
He asked if there was anything they should do to prepare. When he mentioned the den, the Sovereign pursed her lips. "You know," she began thoughtfully, "I picked that place for myself. It'd work fine but I think you and I should find a new place, one we both choose. It'll be where we raise our family, so I want it to be something we pick out together. Does that make sense?"
RE: my heart is open - Eljay - January 30, 2019
Eljay hadn't really meant to unchain a questioning of the suitability of the den. He thought it looked very picturesque and honestly he was not so sure that he could do much better. It made him a little anxious when Wiffle said that she thought they should pick a den that they had both picked.
Oh, uhm... Maybe. I mean, the den is pretty good. Are you sure..?He supposed though that they could always look around and if they didn't find anything better they could just head back to the old den.
But it doesn't hurt to look. Do you want to look now..?Eljay glanced around almost as if expecting the perfect den to lay somewhere closeby, which is obviously did not.
RE: my heart is open - Wildfire - January 30, 2019
"Yes," she replied to the first question. "I'd like to look with you. I feel like you'll have a knack for it. And if we decide to use this one after all, well, that's fine too." Her black tail waved slowly to and fro as he mentioned searching now. "Sure, yeah, I'd like that. Maybe we could sort of split the copse into quarters: north, south, east and west. Then we could go, say, north today, then check out the other locations another day. Does that sound like a good plan?"
RE: my heart is open - Eljay - January 31, 2019
Eljay wasn't sure how to go about finding the perfect den. He just knew it should not be too close to the borders, and it should be a good place that was, well, pup-proof. Eljay nodded as Wiffle mentioned looking for a new place now. He wasn't too sure he deserved the high commendation on his den searching skills, so he hoped he could live up to those expectations.
Alright, sounds good,said Eljay with a smile.
Do you know the territory well already..? Any places that caught your eye?Okay, so they were supposed to find the den together this time, but it didn't hurt to ask. Eljay hadn't seen any specific places himself, yet. He started heading north while keeping his eyes open for the perfect puppy place.
RE: my heart is open - Wildfire - January 31, 2019
Mind if we fade? We should have another soon. :)
"I know my way around pretty well," Wildfire replied, "though I honestly wasn't planning any of this, so I never kept an eye out for good whelping dens." Her lips twitched into a smile as she admitted this, offering Eljay a preemptive nudge of reassurance. No, she hadn't planned this but, yes, she was still very much looking forward to it.
As the pair began heading north together, the Sovereign said, "The trees are a little thinner near the northern corner, plus it starts turning a little swampy. But it's worth a look." Wildfire lapsed into a companionable silence then, wondering what they'd find.
RE: my heart is open - Eljay - February 01, 2019
No prob, feel free to add another reply or just archive it as is :)
Eljay bobbed his head when Wiffle said that she hadn't planned any of it. He wanted to ask what had made her do it if she wasn't planning it, but he was a little afraid of the answer, so he ended up keeping his mouth shut. What if it was just hormones, or if she did it entirely for his sake? He would feel pretty guilty about that and Eljay didn't want to consider the possibilities of that for all too long. Or what if she wanted pups, and she trusted him because she was so very platonic about their relations together that she was sure he wouldn't make things awkward or fall in love. Anyway, there were a lot of potential replies he didn't like all too much, so Eljay decided to simply let the subject rest for now. Everything was confusing enough as it were.
Yeah, we can always have a look, even if there's probably nothing good there,Eljay agreed as they started to head north. It was best to check out probably-crappy locations better, he thought, so they could rule those out right away in the rest of the search. So they headed on north to do some den-scouting, which in the end proved to be a lot along the expected as far as Eljay was concerned; too swampy, really, from the areas they had checked out, and the good areas were too close to the swampy areas so that they weren't safe enough all round.