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+--- Thread: Swiftcurrent Creek we can fake it for the airwaves (/showthread.php?tid=32681)
we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 05, 2019
@Kavik forward-dated a few days
Outside the den, the wind and snow are relentless, raging against the Earth as if scorned; Alessia, perhaps, understands the feeling. The inky girl is curled miserably in the corner, positioned a little awkwardly to accommodate the slight swell of her belly. It hurts, of all things, and she's not quite certain if it's meant to hurt. Waves of cramps spread through her abdomen every few minutes, leaving a lingering ache in the space between. The pain itself is not intolerable — but combined with the bitter cold, it's almost more than she can stand. It worries her, too; she doesn't know if pain is normal or if it means there is something wrong, with her or with the pups, and there is no one to ask. She shivers a little harder at the thought, somehow feeling colder as the weight of her loneliness strikes her again. All she can do is wait and worry and hope — alone, of course.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 05, 2019
The cold reminded him of his home--something he didn't often think about, but as he made his way back to the den against the frigid wind and snow, he couldn't help but be reminded of the winters back home. He held another hare between his teeth, a little disappointed to be bringing Alessia yet another one of the small beasts. He had tracked a herd of deer for most of the day, hoping to find some kind of opportunity for one large wolf to be successful, but he had no luck and settled for the large rabbit that caught his attention just has he had decided to abandon his deer task.
He entered the den, gaze immediately finding Alessia's shaking form in the corner. Setting the hare down for a moment, he stood in the entrance and shook the snow from his thick coat, careful not to fling any onto his shivering mate. He grasped the creature between his teeth once more and moved towards Alessia and after checking for her nausea tells and not seeing any, he set the meal near her front paws. His eyes lingered on her slightly-rounded abdomen like it had multiple times a day since he had first noticed it. His guilt still remained strong regarding her pregnancy, but he couldn't help the flicker of anticipation at seeing the evidence of their growing children inside her.
You're cold,he stated worriedly, lying down in front of her so that he could block any wind that manged to find it's way into the den.
I can help if you want,he added softly, implying that she could come closer if she wished.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 05, 2019
Just as she resigns herself to her loneliness, Kavik appears, and her ears perk a little as she glances up to watch him. He's brought food for her, as he does often, and she can't help but feel a little guilty that she's in too much pain to have an appetite.
Thank you,She murmurs as he sets the hare in front of her, swallowing as her abdomen clenches painfully again. His lingering gaze goes unnoticed, though his words bring her full attention to him a moment later. She pauses as his meaning registers, recalling the last time she'd allowed him so close and how intensely she'd hated herself for it. She can't decide if it's worth the hurt — but her indecision only lasts a moment anyway. Overwhelmed by the cold, her body decides for her, and a few beats later she moves to burrow into his fur, trying desperately not to think about it.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 05, 2019
She thanked him for the food, and Kavik shook his head a little. It was nice that she was grateful, but it was no trouble; it was the least he could do anyway. He waited quietly for her answer, unsure she would accept his offer but eventually, she moved towards him. He was glad she hadn't refused; it couldn't be good for her to be so cold, and he had plenty of warmth for them both. Once Alessia was settled against him, he noticed the untouched rabbit, and he wondered if she had actually been nauseous and he had just missed it. Concern furrowed his brow.
Are you feeling okay?he asked, voice a little anxious.
I'm sorry if I made your nausea worse,he quickly added, assuming that the ignored meal was due to her stomach hurting like it did most of the time.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 05, 2019
His question surprises her a little, though his addition quickly makes it clear why he'd asked. She shakes her head slightly, guilt intensifying.
No, it's not that — I'm just...She swallows, finding herself reluctant to voice it. If something truly is wrong, she's uncertain either of them can handle it. But she reminds herself that ignoring it would not make it less real, and forces her next words though they burn like fire.
I've been in pain. I... don't know if it's typical with pregnancy, or if something is wrong — it isn't unbearable, but...She trails off, her own voice tinged with anxiety now. She hates to make him worry, too — but he has a right to know.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 05, 2019
His worry deepened with her answer. He had no idea if pain was normal with pregnancy; he had never done this before either. A loud gust of wind howled outside, and he instinctively tightened around her in case any of the icy air found it's way into the den.
I'm sorry you're hurting,he answered gently, his voice still anxious. He didn't even know who he could ask about it now. Ruenna had left, and he didn't really know the healer here, but maybe he should seek her out and have her come talk to Alessia.
There's a medic here,he started.
I could find her and see if she could come see you. Maybe she knows if this is normal or not,Kavik offered. What if something was wrong? He couldn't stop the feeling that he deserved for something bad to happen to the pups. Maybe this was his punishment for all the wrong he had done. It didn't seem fair that innocent children had to pay for his weakness, but all he could do was offer to help and hope that nothing was wrong.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 05, 2019
A soft sigh slips from her at his apology, and she shifts in an attempt to get more comfortable, turning onto her side and exposing her belly. She grits her teeth slightly, hating how bloated and sore she feels as she moves, but the change in position brings some relief.
Thank you,She repeats softly at his offer, leaning back against him and wondering who the healer here is; perhaps the beautiful red woman who'd approached her some time ago? Her gaze drifts idly to her swollen abdomen, and she resists the urge to grimace, noting the way the fur on her belly has started to thin as her teats redden and swell in preparation. From this position, the curve of her belly is more noticeable, too — as is her recent weight loss. She tears her gaze away, closing her eyes as she settles her head on the cold den floor.
My body hates me.She mutters a little miserably, thinking that she hates it right back just now — and the last thing she wants to do is meet yet another beautiful woman while in this state.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 05, 2019
He stilled as she moved, letting her adjust some more and hoping it would help her feel more comfortable.
Of course,he replied as she moved against him. Once she was still again, his eyes too were drawn to the way her position made her roundness stick out more than usual. He wondered, as he often did, how many puppies were growing in there. As excited as he was to meet them, he mostly just felt guilty for how hard of time she seemed to be having. It was easy to see that she had lost weight, and now she just seemed to be miserable. Her next words pulled a low whine from his chest, and he leaned over to soothingly lick her shoulder. He didn't know what else to do or say, he just wished he could make her feel better in some way. Again, it didn't seem fair that she was suffering so much for his weakness.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 05, 2019
Something stirs a little painfully in her chest at Kavik's whine, though the feeling is quickly soothed as he licks her shoulder. Some of the tension slowly leaves her, and she presses a little closer against him, secretly hoping to prompt more affection from him. His presence is the only relief she has from her loneliness, and though it hurts as much as it helps, she can't seem to detach herself. Not least because they'll be parents together — and, though she might not admit it, some part of her is eager for motherhood. It is too soon, perhaps, and happening the wrong way entirely — but it is happening nonetheless, and she can't bring herself to hate it completely.
Though she can't know, her own thoughts drift to a place similar to Kavik's; she can't help but wonder what her children will be like. Strong, she hopes, though part of her fears for the life growing inside her own body, which has proven itself more fragile than she'd like to admit. She tries to swallow the anxiety, though, eyes opening and drifting briefly in Kavik's direction before she speaks again.
I wonder how many we'll have,She says softly, unknowingly mirroring her mate's thoughts. She pauses briefly before she adds:
Should we start thinking about names?
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 06, 2019
He didn't know if his attempt to comfort her had helped, but she didn't push him away, so he thought maybe that was a good sign. She didn't say anything for a few moments, and he continued his hopefully soothing affection. Kavik paused mid-lick at her next words. It seemed she had been thinking something similar to him, and he was a little surprised. They hadn't talked much about the pups themselves yet, too busy being battered by the aftermath of his mistake. He gaze met hers and he smiled a little.
I was wondering the same thing, actually,he replied. He moved his licking down some to the rounded part of her abdomen if allowed, hoping it might ease some of her pain. Alessia mentioned names then, and he paused briefly to speak.
I would like to if...that's something you want to do as well,he offered hesitantly, glancing at her face for a moment before resuming his affections.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 06, 2019
His smile catches her off-guard, and her own lips curve slightly in automatic response. She can't help but feel a little relieved that Kavik is not too consumed by his own misery to find some happiness in their situation. It's surprising to her, too, that they'd been thinking the same thing — but she doesn't linger on it.
Well, they'll need names, won't they?She says teasingly, shifting gently to expose more of her belly as his grooming travels lower. The warmth and soothing repetition seem to calm the ache, and she's grateful for it.
We can't just assign them numbers.After a beat, she adds more softly:
That... helps. Thank you.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 06, 2019
Alessia offered him more of her stomach, and he gladly continued his task, relieved that he could do anything that would make any part of this easier for her. He released a small, deep chuckle at her numbers comment.
No, I don't suppose we can,he replied. It was nice to talk about something lighter after everything they had been though lately. To her soft words of gratitude, he paused his licking again.
You're very welcome. I'll do whatever you need,Kavik replied before resuming his soothing once more, working his way to any neglected part of her slightly swollen belly.
How many should we try to come up with?he asked, pausing only long enough to speak, not wishing to deny her any amount of comfort. He had no idea how this worked, and there was definitely no way to know how many names they would actually need until the pups were born.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 09, 2019
A soft breath slips from her as he continues, and she can't quite control the heated flush building under her skin. The feeling does nothing to soothe the whirlwind of conflicting emotions already within her, but she leans into his touch anyway, desperately ignoring her body's reaction. His response to her gratitude only worsens the situation; immediately guilt shoots through her like lightning, and her eyes fill with tears before she even realizes it's happening. She can't help but wonder what sort of sick monster she must be to have such a reaction, when Kavik's intentions are nothing but pure. Her head dips instinctively as the guilt overwhelms her, legs drawing up to cover her face when the first tears fall. She goes silent, hoping that somehow Kavik won't notice before she has a chance to compose herself. The rest of his words go unnoticed entirely, consumed as she is by her hormonal angst.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 09, 2019
Concentrated on his task, it had taken Kavik a few moments to register that there had been no answer to his question. He paused his licking to look up at Alessia and saw that she was holding her front legs over her face. Concern drew is eyebrows together.
Alessia?he said first, worry in his voice. Lowering his head towards her covered face, he gave a hesitant lick to her forearm.
Are you okay?he asked. He pulled back a little, suddenly afraid that maybe he had pushed too much affection on her. He had only been trying to help, and her pain seemed to be soothed by his licking. Had he missed something? Guilt settled in his chest--a depressingly familiar feeling--and the fleeting contentment from just minutes ago was squashed completely by its heaviness.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 09, 2019
Her own guilt intensifies when Kavik seems to notice her distress, and it takes her a moment to find an answer for him.
I'm sorry,The first words are shaky and quiet as they slip from her, and she continues a little more steadily, uncovering her face.
I don't know, I think it's — I've just been so emotional lately.She shifts to press her nose to his fur tentatively, willing herself to believe the lie she offers next.
Nothing is wrong.Nothing should be wrong, anyway.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 09, 2019
He continued to watch her anxiously as she spoke. When she touched her nose to his fur, he pressed closer, wanting to comfort her. She assured him nothing was wrong, and he supposed she could just be emotional, but he still worried a little.
It's alright. You don't have to apologize,he said gently, unable to push the worry away completely.
What about your pain? Is that better, or do you want me to continue?he asked. He risked a hesitant lick to her cheek, unable to stop himself. He didn't know if it was the puppies or the fact that she was all he really had now, but a small bud of tenderness grew in his stomach--it felt like more than just caring about the mother of his future children, but he was way too riddled with grief and guilt right now to really examine the feeling much. Instead, he just lingered near her cheek, waiting to see if she needed him to return to her stomach.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 14, 2019
She finds herself calming again quickly as Kavik presses closer and reassures her, blinking away her tears and releasing a soft breath at his question.
I feel better now,She murmurs, closing her eyes as he licks her cheek. It's only partially true, but she's not certain she can stand him touching her like that anymore. The thought sends a shiver of revulsion down her spine and she turns her face away slightly, silent for a moment.
What if we both come up with two names? Four should be enough,She suggests, pausing a beat before adding with a slight grimace:
If we have more than four, we'll revisit the numbers idea.Though there is humor to her tone, there is a hint of anxiety, too. She's more afraid of a large litter than she wants to admit, uncertain how her body would handle such a burden. Perhaps she'll find out soon; there is little to do now but wait, and she finds this one of the most agonizing truths to accept.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 14, 2019
She assured him that she felt better, and he nodded, glad to have been of some help. She was quiet for a few moments, and he let the silence settle between them, completely forgetting what they had been discussing earlier. She started speaking again, and he pulled his head back a little to look at her as she proposed that they each suggest two names. He nodded again, immediately searching his mind for any names that had ever caught his attention.
Well, I've always liked the name Zephyr,he suggested first. He wasn't even too sure where he had heard it before, but he thought he vaguely remembered it as the name of a hero in a story his dad used to tell him when he was a pup.
My grandfather's name was Helios, so maybe we could use that name, too,he added after a few seconds. He had respected his grandfather, but he had passed when he was still young--before he had really gotten the chance to know him better. Kavik's dad had always spoken highly of him, so he thought it would be a good name for their son. He looked at her then, quietly waiting for her approval or denial of his names and wondering what she would come up with.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - Alessia - February 15, 2019
She smiles slightly at his suggestions, pleasantly surprised by how much she likes them.
I like those. Especially Helios. I think I've heard that before... a sun god, or something,She pauses a beat, thinking back to the wolves she's met and the stories she's heard.
What about Polaris? The northern star. And... Thea. My pack had a legend about an alphess named Thea — it's very convoluted, but I think it was mostly to keep the children entertained.She offers a grin.
It worked well enough; I liked it.It's perhaps the most she's spoken to him at once since they met, though that doesn't cross her mind now. Instead she's thinking about their children; about the future. For the moment, at least, it doesn't seem quite so hopeless.
RE: we can fake it for the airwaves - RIP Kavik - February 15, 2019
She seemed to like his names, and he realized then how relieved he was by that. She suggested two names of her own and he returned the smile she had given him a few seconds ago.
I like those; they all go well together,he replied. Kavik tried to imagine a puppy for each name in his head, excitement forming in his stomach at the thought. The rabbit he brought caught his eye then, and he looked back to Alessia.
Are you hungry now?he asked.
There's still a rabbit for you if you're interested.He knew she had not been hungry when he first found her, but maybe now that she was feeling better, she might be up for eating something.
She slowly reached for the previously forgotten hare, and Kavik watched while she ate, happy once more that he could help in some way. Their conversation drifted to other things puppy related while she finished her meal, and he could almost forget the awful events surrounding this whole mess and think only about the children he would meet soon.