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+--- Thread: Phoenix Maplewood every tree a memory (/showthread.php?tid=33317)
every tree a memory - Aditya - March 17, 2019
dated for the 9th of March — @Sunny
he really ought not to have come here, but he couldn't resist. the borders were stale, the forest quiet. there were no sentries to greet him. no children playing near the old muddy pond. the snow was near-melted, the trees readying themselves for new life in spring. but as far as lupine life here, there was none. the maplewood might as well have been empty.
aditya strolled down paths more familiar to him than those within his soul. he took in sights he had expected never to see again. when he came across the border with the barren plains, he looked away, for all he saw there was the awful brightness of a young blaze. smelled the smoke again.
how long would it be, really, until he stumbled upon a ghost?
or, worse, a living, breathing figure from the past?
the moon was beginning to rise above the trees and the clouds; anything, it seemed, could be possible.
RE: every tree a memory - Sunny - March 18, 2019
It was official, Aliac was pregnant and new memories were being made. His life was starting anew in the shape of unborn pups, his kids, he would be a dad. It was this reason that he made his way to the Maplewood that day, to see if Desdemona still remained and if so to tell her the news. He also wanted to say goodbye to the memories that still weighed on his heart, he needed one last trip into the sadness to be able to let go.
He could tell Desdemona was no longer around because the borders were no longer there at all, he could catch such a tiny whiff of scent that he could have been imagining it. So he walked where they would have been and then delved further inside, walking through the old home and remembering every sad moment that had transpired. He was quite coincidentally remembering his promise to help Aditiya in Dawn's absence when he glanced around and spotted the male. It took him a moment to confirm that this wasnt a trick of his mind and that the man was really there.
He stayed silent. At first he felt nothing, he just stared and waited to be noticed. Then there was so much emotion, so much confusion and anger and hurt and relief. He held his tongue, he sucked in deep breaths and released them slowly. Then he spoke, his voice eerily quiet "Everyone left long ago. I tried to keep us together but it seemed everyone knew before I did that Morningside was over" he wasn't sure why he was saying this when he should have been yelling. He should have been yelling right? For so long he had wanted nothing but to yell and blame Aditya for causing the downfall of Morningside but he remembered what Dawn said, how it had been failing for so long and felt no more anger toward the man. He simply wished it had happened differently.
RE: every tree a memory - Aditya - March 19, 2019
so caught up in the memories, he didn't notice the wolf standing nearby until the first word reached his ears. aditya jumped nearly out of his skin, wheeling around with hackles rising, only to find the startled cry and snarl die in his throat as he faced his former brother-in-law—sunny.
sunny was one of the last wolves he ever wanted to see again; the guilt he felt in leaving the weight of a grieving pack on the boy's shoulders would never leave him. that, and he knew grayday's son was fond of coelacanth. they were family, in a way, through catori. and if dawn knew about his wickedness, certainly so too did sunny. he considered walking away, letting the words hit him like hailstones. . .but instead found himself rooted in place.
i didn't intend to leave forever,aditya said quietly, not as apology but. . .explanation, he supposed? there was nothing that could absolve his sins now.
things took a turn, i lost myself, and i could not return. and i am sorry for that, sunny.
RE: every tree a memory - Sunny - March 19, 2019
He took in Aditya's explanation, really let it sink in before he began to think it over. It was only slightly comforting to know that the male hadn't meant to abandon them but there was a lot of things Sunny hadn't meant to do that he had been made to take responsibility for. His gaze roamed over his friend's -his brother's- face and he sighed softly. He was sure Adi had suffered enough living daily with the knowledge of what he did, he wouldn't make it any worse and besides...He had come here to let go not cause more angst. "Me too Adi. Maybe if I hadn't vanished and slacked off after promising my help things would have been better. I didn't hold anything against Dawn and I won't hold anything against you. The past is just that, the past. I came here to let go." as the words left his mouth he feit the truth in them and with it he felt the weight of regret begin to lift from his shoulders. "I'm glad you're okay" His gaze softened and he took a few steps forward wanting to embrace the man before he paused and silently regarded him, asking if he could step forward .
RE: every tree a memory - Aditya - March 22, 2019
the words didn't bring any sort of relief, only more confusion. first dawn, and now sunny. they had both offered no anger, only thoughtful acceptance. after what he had done?! they were either ignorant of details of what had transpired at undersea, or—perhaps worse—they were bigger, better souls than he was, willing to forgive and let go. that was both demoralizing and disturbing, to him.
sunny stepped forward with a question in his eyes, and aditya stepped back, jaw firming.
aren't you angry with me?he asked, a little bit of heat in his voice.
you know, right? what i did. who i hurt. i know you, sunny; i simply can't believe that this is how i'm received by wolves i've abandoned, wolves i've hurt.
he wasn't looking for a fight, though it would have felt better than this. . .pity. that was it, he felt a lot of pity in the situation, and aditya much preferred being loathed to being pitied.
RE: every tree a memory - Sunny - March 24, 2019
Aditya stepped back and asked him a question, a hint of snappiness in his voice. Confused, Sunny sat down hoping it would show he didn't want any trouble as he listened to Aditya's confused questions. "I know you Sunny" those were the words that hit him like a physical attack. Was that what everyone expected of him? Explosions and rages and taking revenge? Hurt flashed across his gaze and he stared at Aditya with obvious anger " Correction, You knew me. Who I was before I had to step in and try and fix everyone else's mistakes. Who I was before I lost every single family member. Who I was before your actions made me grow up" he said his normally warm tone now filled with ice, a rare sound as even those he disliked normally got a heated tone. "Yes I'm angry. I'm hurt. I wanted to confront you for so long and make you understand the hurt your actions caused" he sighed and looked right into Aditya's eyes "Thats the thing though. I know you too Adi. What you did wasn't you and i am sure you are putting yourself through more than enough pain without me adding to it. I'm grown now, I have children on the way, I don't have the time or energy to waste holding on to these things anymore"
After he had finished he let the words hang in the air his eyes softening again. Of all the things he used to imagine happening if he ever saw Adi again,this wasnt it. He did feel bad for his brother, it seemed almost like he wanted someone to be mad at him, to hurt him for what he had done. "I still consider you my brother Adi. Everyone else has learned to move past it, I'm here saying goodbye to memories to finally do so. Why do you sound like you wanted us to take revenge on you?" he almost suggested that Aditya either learn to live with the guilt or he find a way to get over it completely but held his tongue, it wasn't his place to hand out advice especially because he still harbored guilt over many things.
RE: every tree a memory - Aditya - March 29, 2019
i'm glad i was able to help you grow up,adi shot back. about time, his mind echoed, but he left it unsaid, watching sunny as the young man went through a myriad of emotions. but he began to shake his head after a time, like an automaton, slowly but vehemently disagreeing with everything the morningsider was saying.
silence fell between them, naught but the chirping of birds and wind through the trees to accompany it, and then aditya opened his mouth to speak again.
you don't know me,he said, almost too quietly to hear.
you don't know who i am. you don't know what i've done. and you certainly don't want to call me 'brother,' anymore.
he shrugged.
who wants revenge, sunny?adi asked.
i only mentioned it because it is the only thing that makes sense. this. . .this forgiveness. . .he clenched his teeth, hard.
i am unredeemable. unforgiveable. but i commend you for trying, at least.
the agouti man dipped his head in a jerky nod, stepping back.
namaskar. i'll be going, now.and without another word, he moved past sunny, headed toward the edge of the trees, the emergency exit from a life forever lost.
RE: every tree a memory - Sunny - March 30, 2019
He flinched back at Aditya's words, they struck him hard and he swallowed back his hurt before it could turn into something else. He stared at the man as he continued to tell him things that Sunny did not agree with at all. Before when the pain was fresh and his anger boiled hot revenge made sense but not now, not when so much time has passed. Revenge would be useless and it would only make him feel worse. Sunny's gaze hardened a bit as Aditya brushed past him and he turned but said nothing, a somber but firm look on his face. If it was hatred and anger and revenge that Aditya sought out he wouldn't find it from Sunny, the young man had already let go of Aditya's wrongdoings and for his own sake had forgiven the man for his madness. After he was alone he swept his gaze around the woods once more and then with a sigh he turned and went back home.