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+--- Thread: Heron Lake Plateau I don't love you; but I always will. (/showthread.php?tid=33844)
I don't love you; but I always will. - Spooky Camilla - April 10, 2019
Set for April 16th; kids are just old enough to start eating regurgitated meat.
The woman had been relocated with some prompting, now living in the den she shared with @Phox and rarely, if ever, leaving it. Her weight had begun to dip because of a lack of interest in food and water, which meant her milk production had become a little more hit-or-miss; both @Fennec and @Fig were going to suffer if it went on for much longer, but Camilla was in no state of mind to care. She felt empty. A meal ticket for the strange aliens that had been housed inside of her — nothing more than the delivery system for these weak and mewling babes who constantly begged for more, more, more. She heard them, felt them, but couldn't drum up the connection required of a mother.
Some connection had formed, however thin that line of fate might be. Her boy was larger and stronger by default and it was his crowing that roused her from a half-sleep, but it was the tiny golden child that she watched with her sad, tired eyes. Wishing for more of herself. Knowing that deep down she should've been trying harder to help them, to nurture them, but... They weren't real, not to Camilla. The boy was merely a shadow — an aptly named figment — and the girl? A bundle of gold spun from straw; a tiny life that should've been buried with her dead siblings. Whatever enlivened the tiny fox was something sinister, of this Camilla was certain. Her womb could bear nothing but death and darkness — —
Or so she believed.
Feeling a twinge in her gut - like she needed to pee - Camilla ignored the sensation until it felt too sharp and dire, and roused herself. She pushed aside the babes at her breast and staggered from the den, leaving the babes to the residual warmth left by her body, truthfully oblivious to how much they needed her. She managed a few steps before the sharp feeling came back. A hot and throbbing pain spasmed inside of her, and she gasped — awakened by this strange pain, so very much like a contraction, Camilla was briefly brought back to herself. To the terrible moment in her memory of the scattered babes around her in the grass. She looks around in a panic as if she is back there and seeing the carnage wrought by her own body, and felt he knees buckle.
With a mewling gasp — so very child-like in that instant — she hit the dirt, gritting her teeth in a grimace as the pain overwhelmed her from the inside. The spasm ended moments later, leaving the woman's body to cool in the thin fog while frog-song chorused throughout the plateau.
RE: I don't love you; but I always will. - Fennec - April 10, 2019
Her eyes wouldn't open for another day, but when the warmth disappeared, Fennec woke up. It wasn't unusual for that to happen... what was unusual was that it stayed gone.
She let out a small, plaintive whine when she searched a bit and found nothing, a whine that escalated into a few anxious yips as time went on. She couldn't find it, that constant comfort.
Slowly she plowed a path off in a direction, wrong from the one that Camilla has lurched off in, towards the back of the den. Here she scrabbled at the wall for a moment before settling down with her side pressed to the stone. It wasn't right but it was something.
RE: I don't love you; but I always will. - Towhee - April 11, 2019
Her heat had driven her afield from Phox and Camilla, though it ended just as abruptly as it had begun and she'd made her way back toward the new family with the intent to stay with them 'round the clock. For the past several days, she hadn't left them save to grab some fresh meat on occasion. She patrolled the area restlessly, not only trying to keep the newborns safe but also keep her mind off the possible consequences of her instinct-driven decisions lately. Could she even call them that, when it had seemed like she'd had no rational control over herself?
She was still pondering that when she noticed Camilla exit the den. Towhee didn't make a move toward her from where she stood about a hundred feet away, doing a routine sweep of the "borders" around the whelping den. Only when her sister-in-law staggered and fell did the Beta suddenly dart in her direction. Midway there, she sent a shout of @Raven's name to the skies.
The new mother was unresponsive by the time Towhee reached her. "Phox!" she called, sure he must be nearby, if out of sight. Was he inside the den? Feeling helpless to render aid to Camilla, the Beta loped to peek inside. She didn't see her brother, though she saw the pups squirming around in the dim. Fennec had crawled away from Fig. Impulsively, Towhee stepped inside, scruffed the littler whelp and nudged her back beside her brother, then scooped both toward her chest to keep them warm.
RE: I don't love you; but I always will. - Phox - April 12, 2019
He hadn't told anybody about the encounter with Poe and Tegan, and he never intended to. Whether or not somebody else had spilled the beans would be revealed in time, he supposed. Besides, Poe wasn't supposed to be sticking around for long, was she? Had she changed her mind now that she was shacking up with Tegan? There were a whole lot of questions Phox wasn't sure had answers. He was thinking through all this while hunting a couple of fat squirrels to bring back to Camilla and the pups.
He hadn't been gone long. An hour or two at most, and he was nearing the den when he heard the unmistakable shout from Towhee. That had been preceded by a call to Raven, which was worrisome in itself. Phox quickened his gait, arriving just as Towhee disappeared into the den, presumably to make sure the kids were alright. When he got to Camilla, he skipped right past the denial phase and went immediately to anger. Not toward anybody else but himself.
Why couldn't he have done better? How could he not have seen the signs? Why hadn't he asked Raven to stay with them until Camilla was more alert? She had always been distant, but since the pups had been born—oh gods, he had murdered her.
RE: I don't love you; but I always will. - Towhee - April 12, 2019
Once the pups were more or less situated, Towhee glanced out of the den's entrance. Her heart skipped a beat, then dropped, when she saw Phox standing over Camilla's corpse. Because she was dead, wasn't she? Towhee had known it the instant she'd come to stand over the she-wolf, though it was only now really processing in her mind.
She felt horrible for her brother's loss, though all Towhee could think was: what about the pups? She had seen the parents feeding them bits of regurgitated meat, had even provided some herself, but were they ready to be weaned? They were still so tiny. Even if they could be transitioned now, would they get sick from being cut off from the nutrients in mother's milk too early?
Towhee gently hugged little Fig and Fen closer, feeling fiercely protective over their little lives. She knew Phox would do anything he could to keep them alive and Towhee would help him in that endeavor. She couldn't possibly replace the pups' mother, though she quietly swore that they would never be wanting for a loving family so long as she was alive.
"Phox?" she called gently after giving him a few moments of silence with his dead wife.
RE: I don't love you; but I always will. - Figment - April 20, 2019
Fig didn't know when his mother died. Truth be told, the young Redhawk barely understood that he even had a mother in the traditional sense. Camilla had never been this loving entity that kept him warm and happy and protected. She had been a wall full of milk, more like a feed trough than a parent. The wall gave him no comfort. It never made him feel loved. It was just a thing that was there until it wasn't. The only thing about it was its consistency in always coming back.
Only this time, it wouldn't come back. Fig would notice eventually, but for now, this wasn't concerning to him. What concerned him was when his sister crawled away, leaving him behind. With an affronted squeak, the boy blindly attempted to follow. When he couldn't find her, panic began to rise, and only then did he begin to wail in fear and frustration. Losing his mother was inconsequential. Losing Fenn? He couldn't bear it.
Fortunately, the Redhawk's devastation did not last overly long. His aunt was there, and soon Fenn was back. His wails ceased as he feverishly snuggled against them both, crawling up his sister so that his head and forepaws were planted firmly atop her back as though to keep her pinned in place at his side, right where she belonged.
RE: I don't love you; but I always will. - Fennec - April 23, 2019
Her plan worked, because after only a while of lonely fear, something picked her up and set the world to rights. The presence (well, some presence) was back, and she was plopped down next to Fig, who immediately settled on her like a weighted blanket.
Well, this was fine. Oblivious to the painful, tense situation her father and aunt were dealing with, she too snuggled into Towhee and promptly fell asleep, safely nestled under her own brother's head.
RE: I don't love you; but I always will. - Phox - May 01, 2019
Last post here for me! Feel free to archive whenever. Just need to start with a clean slate. :)
It would take time to grieve her properly, and his thoughts did sway to the children as well, but he couldn't possibly blame them for her death. In time, he would come to terms with the fact that it wasn't his fault, either. In the interim, he would put all of his energy into caring for what she had given him: two beautiful children. Okay, one of them had oddly large ears which he found kind of odd looking, but maybe he'd learn to love her anyway.
With Towhee to help him, they would be able to get through this. It wouldn't be ideal—far from it—but they would make it work.