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+--- Thread: Heron Lake Plateau j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan (/showthread.php?tid=33850)
j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan - Phoebe - April 10, 2019
Spring was coming—or so she had been told. The signs of it were everywhere, from the hardy sprigs of green that dared to spring, to the slow melt of snow and the rise of the lake to its former banks. It was the lake where she found herself today, skirting the muddy shore and through the damp reeds with no particular focus to guide her. It simply felt good to go for a light stroll, especially when the winter had kept her close to warmth and safety.
There'd been enough turmoil to last a lifetime as far as she was concerned. While the nuances of such things were not entirely lost on her, she couldn't figure out why things were ever in a state of constant change. She couldn't quite figure out just why anyone would have wanted to leave the plateau—least of all, Eljay for instance. Even if he had come back to visit and wasn't all that far away in reality, the sting still burned even now.
She thought about those things less and less, but they had come up to the forefront of her mind as she narrowly missed going in the lake herself. Some of the dips and dives along the muddy, reeded terrain were not the same as they one had been and in spite for all the growing and learning she had, there were some things still in progress. Phoebe had come there originally to see if she could find anything she could have brought back for @Raven, but now after that close call... well, she had paused and cast her gaze over the choppy waters.
open for anyone, sorry you get to deal with me trying to work through things with phoebe haha
RE: j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan - Raven - April 21, 2019
Time passed so quickly when one dared to glance away for a second. In just the mere blink of an eye, winter transitioned to spring and charged recklessly into summer, faces both strange and familiar came and went from the fold of her pack, and children grew up. Oh, but that was the greatest crime of all: to blink while one’s children were small! Look away but a second — just a second! — and they were suddenly grown up and didn’t need their parents anymore.
No theft would ever sting more than that committed on her by the passage of time where her little ones were concerned. Long would she regret the days she had wished they’d hurry and grow up already, for now she looked back on those days with wishful fondness and found she missed them terribly. She loved motherhood and every time she looked at her children, nearly yearlings now, she felt it slip a little further away.
She felt that familiar pang as she looked at her daughter now, beautiful and lean and sleek as liquid shadow. She grinned at Phoebe as she approached, tail waving and love written in every line of her face. ”Hey, baby girl,” she greeted warmly, very much aware that her baby wasn’t actually a baby anymore — but not caring. In her heart, they’d always be her babies.
RE: j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan - Phoebe - April 24, 2019
Slowly, her attention detracted from the watery landscape and to her own being. In a matter of minutes she had muddied herself, the shock of white along her underside speckled and streaked with signs of sticky mud. Even now, her feet were planted firmly in that soft loam, and she pulled at them tentatively to free herself and deliberate moving along. Again the thought crossed her mind—why would anyone ever want to leave here? They had everything they needed, could perhaps have everything they ever wanted. Even history was not lost on her however, and she knew that they had not always been here. Maybe her, but the others, no.
Speaking of which, her mother was one of those beings; the lilt of her voice pulled Phoebe out of her thoughts and her features into a smile as she turned. ”Hi Mama,” she said softly, ”are you finding any plants out today?” Maybe it was still too early, still too cold at night and the sun not quite on display enough to encourage growth; maybe she simply wasn't looking in the right places just yet either. Still, she'd most certainly try and succeed where she could, and the wave of her damp tail seemed to carry that energy.
RE: j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan - Raven - May 04, 2019
Post #600 for you!
She grinned at her daughter's response, tail waving as she approached closer. The bank of the lake was all but a bog after the spring's rains, and Raven felt the almost-satisfying-but-mostly-just-kinda-gross squelch of sticky mud between her toes as she leaned in to nose Phoebe's cheek. Each of her children was so different; Vasa was her little warrior, Kite the curious and questioning one, Owen the troublemaker, and Phoebe the inquisitive drifter with interests that almost fell into Raven's areas of expertise. She wondered if the girl might grow up to be a healer herself one day. If nothing else, she'd have a wealth of knowledge about useful plants and herbs to carry with her. So many seemed to place value on physical strength, but in Raven's opinion, knowledge was the most powerful weapon of all. And as the child of a certified nerd like Raven, Phoebe would be a formidable opponent in a battle of wits...or at least a battle of flowers, anyway.
"A few," she replied with a sigh, looking around at the greenery that surrounded them. "It's still a little early in the season yet. We've had a lot of rain though so we should be up to our elbows in good stuff soon." She took a step and the silence following her words was punctuated sharply by a thick sucking noise and then a gross squelch, resulting in her sinking up to her ankle in the muck. She couldn't help but laugh, tail waving again as she looked at her youngest with amusement. "Good grief, child. What are you doing in this mess?"
RE: j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan - Phoebe - May 06, 2019
Oh, so it was a little early in the season. That would have explained why all she saw were nothing more than tender shoots poking through leaf litter and other detritus. Though the leaves were beginning to unfurl and grow and the flowers slowly rising to bloom, not every herb or healing agent she was aware of came into existence. Chances were that they had gone over this, but she was ever keen to make her parents proud and stuck to her guns nevertheless. Better to find their locations now than later, or before someone else came along to steal her glory.
These were things that she thought about without realizing it, ever in contention with her siblings and the multitude of skills they possessed. She had those traits too, somewhere deep down within. But the drive to do as they did was not entirely there, even if she enjoyed a good tumble or a bout of trouble to participate in. A giggle escaped her as Raven tried to fully join her along the muddied water edge—it was rarely not funny when the mud trapped someone else. Less so, if it had been her.
"I was thinking," she stated simply. "Eljay used to bring us here once in a while to watch the herons." It was then that her expression faltered a bit and she was far too young to mask the trouble that came in its wake, back to her original thought.
"Mama," she carried on, "why did Eljay have to go with the others? I thought he liked it here. He says he does, he comes to visit us, but," and her voice trailed off, not at all comprehending the why someone moved on, the thought of dispersing as she or her siblings may someday consider or do. He wasn't the only one who had gone either, she remembered, for Niamh had as well. Key components of their foundation, of family, and she remembered that the list went on.
RE: j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan - Raven - May 22, 2019
Phoebe's question lingered in Raven's mind and set to vibrating little chords that had always troubled her: while explanations had been given, she still didn't quite understand why Eljay had left, or really even why the Firebirds had split off to begin with. The self-doubting part of her wondered if it had something to do with her and Qui's leadership. Were they not strong enough? Did their packmates have so little confidence in them as alphas? Or had the rifts that had been formed in the various relationships in their pack truly been so deep that they could not have been overcome?
Raven had long ago learned to find some degree of acceptance in people's decisions to leave a pack. For a very long time, she'd viewed those choices as the next best thing to unforgivable mistakes. Betrayals. Insults. A turning of the back on family. Perhaps it went all the way back to her childhood, when traumatic losses had robbed her of people she'd loved in the most tender months of her growth. Whatever the cause, she'd felt bitterness and loathing toward those who claimed to love a pack and called it home, only to leave for one reason or another later on. But age and circumstances had tempered her views somewhat and she'd found more tolerance for such things. It was still never easy, though, especially when dealing with people who'd been born and raised a Redhawk. Like Eljay.
"I don't know, baby," she replied after a brief pause, her thoughtfulness evident on her face. "It isn't right to leave a pack you're loyal to, but everyone has their own reasons for the things they do. Eljay is happy where he's at now, though, and I think that's what's most important in the end." She frowned on the Blackthorn's desertion -- for that's what it still felt like to Raven, for all who had left their pack -- but she didn't want to poison Phoebe's perspective with her own bitterness so she kept her voice light and avoided getting into her own feelings about it.
RE: j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan - Phoebe - May 28, 2019
Her mother was silent for what felt like an eternity, and Phoebe almost regret asking the question that had been burning away at her. When she did finally supply an answer, the little bird listened and processed, frittering away the logic and then stowing her own emotion towards it. She found the dichotomy confusing. It wasn't right but yet the most important thing was that they were all happy.
It wasn't the explanation that she had been hoping to hear, though she couldn't have claimed to know what she had wanted to hear either. Her gaze fell to the watery reeds, and she studied them without taking them in, suddenly unable to avoid the momentary checking out that followed her mentally. Why? She wanted to ask yet again, yet the words did not yet come. If Eljay had the reasons to, then he surely had answers, and she wondered when he could come again so that she could gain his perspective as well.
"At least he's close by," she decided to say, as though it would bolster their feelings in some distant solidarity. Her gaze came back to her mother then and she closed the case on the matter. "I hope they all visit a lot now that it isn't as cold out." She pulled a smile to her face, embracing that naivety that was not yet stripped from her adolescence. All those that left would simply have to keep visiting over and over again, and perhaps they would go visit them too someday.
RE: j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan - Raven - June 14, 2019
Raven nodded in acknowledgement and agreement with Phoebe's comments, adding, "I hope so too. But you can always go visit them if you want to. They're not far from here." She knew that Phoebe was very much a homebody, much like she herself had always been, so she wasn't sure the girl would take her up on that prospect anytime soon. Still, though, Raven wanted her to know that it was okay to go visit. The Firebirds were a sister pack to the Redhawks -- literally, since her sister was running it -- and would always welcome any child of Raven with open arms.
"Want to help me look for some new spring shoots?" she asked a moment later, figuring they could continue their conversation while doing something to busy their hands, so to speak. "The horsemint should be coming up right about now and it's easier to chew into poultices when it's young."
RE: j'ai toujours vécu ici pourtan - Phoebe - June 14, 2019
She could go visit them, now that was a novel concept. Though somewhat appealing, Phoebe wouldn't mention that she didn't really feel like going all that way. Certainly not alone at any rate, though it was probable her siblings could have wrangled her easily into going. All the same, it was good to know that she could if she wanted to, and her smile bolstered a bit at the notion.
What she wouldn't pass up on though was learning more of the herbs from her mother, and the shift to something more eager was naturally swift. ”Sure,” she said with a wave of her tail. ”I think I know where I saw some, actually,” she went on, spurring to the lead and out of the reeds to head back towards where she had seen them last. From there on out, the day may as well have gone from the gloomy thoughts to that of education, a far better topic for the Redhawk brood to dwell upon.