Bearclaw Valley well shit - Printable Version +- Wolf RPG (https://wolf-rpg.com) +-- Forum: In Character: Roleplaying (https://wolf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=5) +--- Forum: Archives (https://wolf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +--- Thread: Bearclaw Valley well shit (/showthread.php?tid=34047)

well shit - Laurel - April 22, 2019 After her meeting with the horrible man, Laurel had washed herself, composed herself and then returned to @Lucas, @Tadec and @Marten alongside @Indra. She did not seem much different at first, except maybe a little more bitter, and less eager to be touched. She no longer slept in a huddle with her family, preferring to stay off to the side, alone. They'd stayed around the Bearclaw valley for a while, though Laurel was eager to move on. She wanted to collect the others and get back to the ocean to create their pack. That morning was the first that she felt the familiar sting of nausea. Laurel had just hunted a small rabbit and she was making her way back when suddenly she stopped, dropped the rabbit and threw up near the entrance to Bearclaw valley. Shit. RE: well shit - Lucas - April 22, 2019 Laurel's distance wasn't lost on her son, who was himself a very tactile creature and had indeed noticed her aversion to sleeping close to the rest of them. In the wake of Nunataq's utter rejection, it hurt a lot more than he would ever admit; selfishly he hadn't considered that there was a reason for it outside himself. He assumed wrongly that it was because she didn't want to be near him, just like Nunataq, and let those dark thoughts consume him. For as unflappable as he appeared on the outside, Lucas was the grandson of Reek Redtail, a man who was so steeped in self-loathing he leaked it out to everyone around him. Small wonder his legacy had a similar problem, only Lucas battled it by being infectiously happy, and keeping that dark seed smothered deep inside him. So despite the persistent sting of Nunataq's betrayal and Laurel's unexplained distance, Lucas was grinning as he closed in on Laurel's scent. At least, he was until he heard the sound of sick splattering on the ground. Ears pricking, the young piebald hastened to where his mother was and dropped his gaze to the vomit at her feet. Mama? he asked with quiet concern, are you okay? Was she so distant because she was sick? That didn't take the edge off it. Wouldn't she have told them the reason, then? RE: well shit - Laurel - April 24, 2019 Her legs quivered under the weight of the realisation that started to seep deep into her mind. She didn't want it to be true, but her body had never lied to her when everyone around her did. There was too much that reminded her of last year in this; too much that reminded her of... Mama? She turned her head sharply to look at her son who had found her here, at the most unfortunate of times. Laurel wanted to keep up the lies and tell him that everything was fine -- part of these lies were lies to herself where she told herself he had not already noticed her distance, that he thought she was fine all along -- but she knew that she would have to tell them eventually. If these evil seeds had not taken to her body then it would have been fine, it would all have been fine. She could've gotten over this, she would've, and they would've created their pack and all would be fine. But now... If there were pups to come, what would become of them? Should she kill them for the sins of their father or lovingly raise them to prove the world wrong? The first was the only real option, but even tiny as they were Laurel could feel the biological bond between a mother and her children growing stronger with each breath she took now, even after just finding out. For a long time she just stood and stared, then swallowed difficultly, the gross taste of the sick still on her tongue. You're going to be a big brother, she said, her words solemn and filled with dread, for they were without a pack and what sort of world were they being brought into? Laurel looked at Lucas' face, hoping that he would respond with his usual optimism, because much like Indra often needed her to pretend everything was fine, she desperately needed Lucas to right now. RE: well shit - Lucas - April 25, 2019 An uneasy silence stretched between them and Lucas' expression fell by the second. He couldn't help wondering what he'd done wrong for her to receive him so dourly. True, he'd only been reunited with his mother for a short time, but he couldn't remember a time when Laurel was ever displeased to see him. He parted his lips to ask again, but she broke the silence then and he remained slack-jawed and stunned. It was slow to happen, but a beat picked up in his tail and a goofy grin found its home on his raven lips. He didn't stop to think about the logistics of it. He'd never had a father before, so the notion that Laurel was having more cubs without a father didn't faze him. Oh, mom, that's wonderful!! he breathed, and he meant it. When Mona told him about her babies, Lucas was ecstatic, and that was nothing compared to how it felt to know he was going to be, A big brother! But something was wrong, and he was astute enough to pick up on it. He wasn't always the smartest cookie, but Lucas excelled at reading emotions. Laurel hadn't said it with the giddy excitement that Mona had, and she seemed... down? Knitting his brows together, Lucas wondered, aren't you happy about it too? RE: well shit - Laurel - April 28, 2019 Lucas' enthusiasm surprised Laurel, but then again, maybe it shouldn't have. He had always been such a bright and cheerful boy, always ready to share his love with the world and with those around him. Laurel's gaze softened, some of her doubt leaving her. She already felt connected to these pups herself even though she didn't want to -- even though they reminded her of that one horrible night -- but to see Lucas accept them so readily made her feel a little better. You'll be the best big brother, Laurel said, convinced that Lucas would help out greatly and would do so well. She was so glad that he didn't ask about the practicalities of it all -- not realising that he had no father figure to look back on himself -- so that she didn't have to find an excuse to tell him. The question formed a lump in her throat, as Laurel tried to think of what she could answer. She was happy about the pups themselves, but that was exactly what made her feel like such a filthy whore who got what was coming to her. She thought of all the times she had teased men last year and then thought about how she had made this one get her food, because she didn't have enough to feed her family with properly... And now there were pups coming, and it was all her own fault. Looking at Lucas' sweet, gentle face was all that kept Laurel from panicking about all of it. After a short silence she forced a smile to her face and said: Of course I'm happy. I'm just a little worried about finding a home. We were thinking to move back to the coast and find a place to live there for our family, but now I think we'll just have to find a home that will help us raise these babies first. Laurel let out a sigh, wishing that there was someplace that would accept her in this state but afraid that it might prove difficult. Between the practicality of finding a pack that'd have her and her children as well as the rest of the family, and feeling dumb for allowing herself to be used like this by the dark coywolf, it was hard to keep an optimistic outlook. But if anyone could help her with finding one, it was sweet, cheerful Lucas. RE: well shit - Lucas - May 01, 2019 Lucas could tell she didn't feel it as much as she wanted him to think she did, but her reasons made sense. He hadn't looked at it that way. Perhaps it was because he assumed they were returning to Lost Creek Hollow, and had no reason to doubt that his mother's former home would take her in despite this. But she seemed unsure, which was enough to set the cogs in his mind turning once more. They did so slowly; he was more of a street smarts guy than a real thinker. But eventually he suggested, we can just go back to Bearclaw Valley, maybe? It made the most sense. They were already familiar with the territory and presumably Laurel's whelping den from last year was still there. Nunataq—he pushed the invasive thoughts that sought to dig their claws in away at this thought—Nunataq had made a home of the place, and she would surely help her aunt, even if she turned against all the rest of them. If Wyatt ever changed his mind then he would know where to find them. Things had always been good in Bearclaw Valley, as far as Lucas knew. It was the perfect solution. Or so he thought, anyway. RE: well shit - Laurel - May 09, 2019 Bearclaw Valley wasn't the worst of solutions in Laurel's mind, though it would always remind her of Xan. But it was better than being stuck under Terance's rule, perhaps. Yet could they hold the territory with just their little family? They needed more able bodies to get the pups through their first winter, Laurel felt. She didn't want it to be tight, like last year. We need a pack, a big pack who can support us when the pups are little, Laurel explained to her son. Maybe when they are a little bigger, we could come back to the Valley. Or go somewhere else, but she decided not to tell him that bit yet. Let's go find your aunt, Laurel said to Lucas. She reached to nudge his shoulder but then stopped short of touching him and simply started making her way back towards Indra.