Nocturne Summit Easy to be just you and me

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Easy to be just you and me - Charon - April 29, 2019

After whatever had transpired that had, Charon had either brought @Speedy with to keep her safe, or he had sought her out again or told her to meet him someplace should his family have deterred him in the first place. It's kept vague for now until that thread is done. After all of that Charon had chosen for them to go to nocturne summit. It was a place he did not frequent that often anymore; Dhole had loved this place, and since she had gone he was grateful every day that he and his had settled on Moonspear instead. More impressive, with more to offer, and less memories of Dhole to boot.

It was that reason that he chose its slopes now; it was unlikely that they would come seek him out here for he never came here normally. Speedy's scent drove Charon mad, but he knew he must be strong. He watched over as she slept, for now. Surely there would be hell to pay when they'd return to Moonspear for what he'd said to Hydra about her mate and for taking a wolf in heat away from the mountain rather than surrendering her to Amekaze or Hydra; but for now he just didn't care.

set a bit after https://wolf-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=34108

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - April 30, 2019

Whatever reason drove Speedy to be here with Charon and not back at the mountain, she had made her choice. But she too worried about what might happen upon their return, and she couldn't stop thinking about how upset Revui had seemed when she turned down his promise to protect her. She had spent a lot of time creating her place in the pack and forming bonds with her packmates, and she hated that it might all be ruined now. Still, she held on to the hope that she could repair whatever damage she had caused.

With the hormones overtaking her body and anxiety consuming her thoughts, it was no surprise that her sleep was far from restful. The few hours she had managed to get were spotty, and she found herself waking slightly after an unknown amount of time only to drowsily fall back asleep once more. After this pattern repeated itself for what seemed like a dozen times, she finally gave up. The healer rose to her feet with a yawn and padded over to sit next to the scarred alpha, hoping he wouldn't mind her company.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 08, 2019

It was hard to think straight with all on his mind. Charon's only hope felt like Speedy, for he knew that she was an honourable sort of wolf who would not do such things without good reasons. She would keep him on the straight path. Yet another part of him was frustrated that Amekaze would not bear him any more children, and what was worse, seemed completely fine with it, too. He knew that was where the danger lay. He'd never been able to resist a woman in heat -- well, a women he knew as well as he knew Speedy, anyway, or that somehow felt they belonged to him -- so would now be his first time to accomplish such a thing?

As he overlooked the valleys below, Charon's ear twitched as Speedy rose somewhere behind him. He turned his head so he could look with his good eye and smiled as she joined by the side he could see from. It was a smile that was perhaps a bit too gleeful, and he quickly forced it off his face. Well, this is a right mess, isn't it? Charon said as he looked over the lands below. I wanted Hydra to be unbothered by my shadow to reach her full potential for some time, but it doesn't feel as good as I imagined now. He hadn't exactly thought of the fact that it also meant her respect for him would diminish, and that was the most painful of it all.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 08, 2019

His smile made her heart quicken as she settled next to him, and she smiled warmly in return, silently cursing her stupid body's strange response. Guilt filled her expression at his first words, and she averted her gaze, ears falling a little. I'm sorry, Charon, she said, voice heavy with guilt and sadness. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving, but I clearly didn't think things through very well, she added, still unable to look at him, afraid she would see anger on his face. She had never been in heat before and apparently, she was sorely ill-equipped to deal with it properly.

When he spoke of Hydra, her guilty expression morphed into one of concern, and her eyes found his face again. She could tell the beta's behavior had deeply unsettled him, and her empathic need to comfort him got all jumbled up with her hormones, giving her the sudden urge to nuzzle against his chest. She often offered affection as comfort, but this felt different--wrong. It was like her body was completely ignoring her mind's plea to not make this whole thing any worse than it already was. So, it was with quite a bit of difficulty that she stifled the unwanted urge and instead, gently touched her nose to his shoulder. Emotions were high, she started. I think we all behaved differently than we normally would have, she finished, hoping to soothe his turmoil. She hated that she had been the catalyst for all of this discord, and she wished she could do more to help but for now, she could only offer her support.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 08, 2019

At her apology, Charon offered her a consoling look that showed he wasn't angry in any way. It wasn't like she could help her hormones either. Is it your first time? he asked curiously, considering she said she had acted wrongfully. Charon always imagined it became easier each time, when they learned to know their body better and knew better how to tuck it away the best they could. He took a deep breath but instantly regretted it as his nostrils filled with her intoxicating scent. The only thing that was holding him back was knowing that she didn't want this, either, on top of it being less-than-good for either of them. Part of him whispered in the back of his head that he could keep her safe and that she could offer him things Amekaze could not.

As Speedy said they all behaved differently than they normally would have, Charon nodded knowingly. That's true. After a short pause he added: We might still be. There was a jittery feeling in his stomach as he admitted this, feeling fragile about it, but hoping that saying it out loud would somehow confirm that none of these feelings would be real a few weeks from now. They were only because of her heat, not because of real feelings.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 08, 2019

When she chanced a look at the alpha, she saw no anger, only understanding, and it was a relief to know he wasn't angry with her too. She nodded in response to his question. I thought I knew what to expect, but everything I knew about it didn't at all prepare me for feeling so close to losing control of myself, she explained. I guess that's why I thought leaving was a good idea. She had felt attraction to others many times, but this was different. It was like her body was trying to take over, making her feel needy and raw, and she just hadn't thought it was a good idea to be around anyone while she was feeling like that.

Yeah, I know what you mean, she replied. It was hard for both of them not to be influenced by her heat. I care about you as my alpha and friend, but it's like my body is taking that and twisting it and making me-- she cut herself off and looked away, feeling like she had said too much. Surely he knew how she was feeling currently with her hormones urging her to let nature run its course--to create new life. She guessed her scent was making him feel similarly, but if they gave in, then there was sure to be disastrous consequences, not to mention she would likely find herself facing bringing children into an environment where their lives might be in danger or fleeing the mountain pregnant and alone. Neither situation was ideal, but hormones were tricky and used your own feelings against you to make you forget all about logic and consequences.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 09, 2019

It hadn't occurred to Charon before just how young Speedy was until he realised that it was her first heat ever. The Alpha nodded when she said she thought wrong in thinking to know what to expect. It might've been a good idea if nobody had found you, Charon said with a somewhat teasing grin. But it's dangerous, too. Others might have found you. Others with less than good intentions. It would've been safest within the pack, but now Charon was sure it was safe enough, too; after all, she had him to protect her now.

It made Charon's gut clench when she said that she cared about him as Alpha and friend, but that her body was making her think about it very differently. His face tightened as he tried to push away the fuzzy feelings the hormones gave him. It's just hormones, said Charon as he looked back at Speedy. It's not like you ever felt that way before, right? He looked at her and the look on his face was almost hopeful. He didn't really want her to have felt that way before, but the hormone-driven part of him certainly did right now.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 09, 2019

She knew he was right; she just wished she had thought of that before she left. If someone else had found her, who knows what could have happened. Yeah, I see that now, and I'm thankful that you're here. She felt incredibly grateful that she was here with Charon, someone she trusted completely, and not with someone who would have taken advantage of her situation possibly against her will. Her gratitude caused the urge to resurface, and she had to fight to keep from pressing her face into his fur. It was getting more difficult to ignore what her body was pushing her so hard to do; her control was hanging on by a thread, and she knew one touch from him would snap that thread and leave her pliable and willing and completely at his mercy.

She swallowed hard and looked away at his next words, thankful that her fur hid the heat rising in her cheeks. She hadn't actually felt quite this way about him before, although she had always thought he was handsome, but she had never wanted to act on it before. The sane part of her that was slowly drowning in her urges knew it was just the hormones making her feel this way, but seeing the hopeful look on his face made her want to give him the answer she thought he wanted to hear. Well, I've always thought you were attractive, but you have a mate, and I could never come between that, she replied, unable to look at him as she spoke. She wasn't sure if that was what he wanted to hear, but it was the truth. Even now, when everything was so confusing, she found it hard to lie.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 09, 2019

Charon was determined that he would let no one harm Speedy in any way. He was quite confident that she was smart -- a lot smarter than he in these kind of situations, as time had proven him several times -- and that she would make sure that there were no unseemly urges that got the chance to blossom between them; not too far, anyway.

At his question he expected the confirmation that there was nothing between them in any way, that this was all just hormones. That they were friends and pack mates and nothing more if it wasn't for this. Her answer he did not expect. Charon swallowed difficultly when Speedy admitted that she had always thought him attractive, but that he had a mate and she hadn't wanted to come between him and Amekaze. That made sense. Nothing should come between that. But Amekaze grew older and Charon was not quite ready to recognise that he was old in any way. He thought longingly to Maia, and he knew that if it had been her that was here instead of Speedy he would not have been able to control himself if she told him these things.

Charon'd always liked Speedy, from the moment they met. She reminded him of many wolves he had had in his life -- Dhole, Pyx -- and the role they took of being a good friend. But was that all? Well... That complicates things slightly, Charon said with a sheepish grin. If she had said that she hadn't found him attractive before, well, he would be strengthened in his resolves. Now, though... Have you ever loved anyone? Charon wondered aloud, deciding it would be easiest to try and change the subject, hoping the next road he chose was less badly winding down to the inevitable conclusion that would do none of them any good.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 09, 2019

She immediately regretted admitting her attraction. Why had she done that? She had never had any problem keeping things strictly platonic between them before. And when he pointed out that her admission complicated things, she glanced over at him, guilt in her expression. She didn't want to ruin things between them or with anyone else in the pack, and going any further down this path was sure to cost her everything she had worked so hard to build. She had no idea what to say next; she didn't want to make things more complicated. Luckily, he quickly changed the subject, saving her the awkward job of finding something to say.

I haven't, she said. The closest I've been was with a boy I grew up with. His name was Emrik. We were very close and eventually, I developed feelings for him. I didn't tell him until right before I left, which was a shame because it turned out that he felt the same way, she continued, a wistful smile forming on her face. Anyway, I left the pack soon after, so we never got to see where it would have gone. She thought about him often and hoped he was doing well. When I came to Teekon, I wandered too much to form any real bonds with anyone until I came to Moonspear and grew to care about all of you, she finished.

How long have you and Amekaze been together? Speedy asked since they were on the subject of being in love. Maybe talking about the alphess would help remind them what all was at stake here.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 10, 2019

Speedy told a story about some guy she'd been close with back home, before she had to leave. Charon wondered why she left if she liked someone who liked her back, but he both felt that he just know this somewhere deep in his mind, as well as he wasn't all that interested to hear more about this Emrik. It was all water under the bridge now, after all.

She then asked a return question about he and Amekaze. Many years. Four or so. I did not choose her because I was in love, though. I chose her because she was the Alpha that stood beside me. Amekaze was the smart choice, the logical choice, the choice that ticked all of the boxes. She'd always been that and he'd always been proud to stand beside her. It made no sense to Charon that his feelings were now wanting him to throw all that away. He looked at Speedy and admitted with a guilty and torn look on his face: Some days I'm afraid that what we have is only what's right and makes sense, and not what makes my heart soar.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 10, 2019

Speedy was surprised to hear that the alphas weren't in love; she just assumed that's why anyone became mates, which, she supposed, was probably a pretty naive way to look at it. She could see the benefit in coming together to lead a pack and create a strong legacy. But after all that time together, had they not formed a deep bond anyway? Not to mention all the children they parented together. Still, you couldn't really help who you loved, or didn't love in his case.

Her expression turned empathetic with his own admission, and the pained look on his face squeezed her heart. The urge to nuzzle into him was so strong that she almost gave in, but she still managed to keep a hold on that thread of control; she knew if she did what her body kept pushing her to do, she might not be able to prevent things from moving forward. And what does make your heart soar? she asked quietly, her gaze searching his face; she hated seeing turmoil there.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 13, 2019

What was wrong with him? Charon did not remember ever admitting his lack of romantic interest in Amekaze with as many words as this. He felt a nervous twinge in his stomach as he thought of all the ways this could go horribly wrong. Charon looked at Speedy as she asked him the question. His first instinct was to say 'you', but only because of the hormones and her scent that was clogging up his nostrils so badly. He knew it wasn't real. Speedy had never been the one to make his heart soar. Well, not like that. He valued her dearly as a friend, but that was all.

So he shouldn't say that, because it would be a lie. What else should he say? Charon opened his mouth as he tried to think of an answer. Doubt was written on his face for a few seconds. Don't say 'you', don't say 'you', don't say 'you'.. You. Breathlessly he looked at her while his head was panicking. He wanted to quickly apologise and get it behind them but he needed to see her face first, see her reaction. Surely she would laugh and they'd shrug it all off. She was the sensible one of the pair of them and that thought was his life vest in this stormy sea.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 13, 2019

She looked away, closing her eyes as a hard swallow moved down her throat once more. Somewhere deep inside her hormone-addled brain, the logical part of her screamed that his response made no sense. She picked up on other's subtle emotional cues everyday; how could she have missed that he felt that way about her? The burning need fighting for control of her body combated the sound reasoning, suggesting that maybe she had just not wanted to see it. Normal, clearly thinking Speedy would have shied away from anything that could damage their friendship or her place in the pack. She felt even more confused and suddenly very close to just relinquishing her control over the situation; she was slowly drowning in the battle raging inside her, and she just wanted to be able to breath again.

You don't mean that, she said softly, gaze finding him again, this time searching his face for any indication that his admission was true and not spoken out of the heat of the moment. What made things even worse was that, in her current state, she wanted it to be true, and if he confirmed as much, her body would take it and run, finally having the leverage it needed to push her to do what she knew deep within her heart would irrevocably change everything, and not in a good way.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 13, 2019

He shouldn't have said it, and he knew that immediately the moment he said it. She said that he didn't mean it, and a tiny part of Charon knew that he didn't. That he should return to the mountain and that everything would be fine; they'd return together, trust in tact, and nothing would change. But what if he wanted it to change? What if he needed it to change? What if he needed Speedy right now? Charon frowned at her question, an expression that did not give much away; thoughtful, pondering.

He swallowed difficultly, as if he knew that whatever answer he gave would weigh heavily. His gaze softened, desire in his grimace as he looked at Speedy's face and saw the look on her face that showed she wanted it to be true. I'm sorry -- I shouldn't have said that. Charon shook his head and looked at Speedy with an apologetic look on his face, though there was still longing in his expression.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 13, 2019

His words and his expression were not in complete agreement, and it confused the healer further. She wanted to be relieved that he hadn't meant what he said, but the longing on his face mirrored the her own longing--a desire that was growing increasingly more difficult to ignore the more they played this odd tug-of-war, each dancing dangerously close to the wrong side of the line before suddenly pulling back. Again, she found herself unable to formulate a response.

For whatever reason, her mind drifted back to his admission regarding Amekaze, and she couldn't help but feel bad for both of them. It was quite an uncomfortable situation, and she wished she could help. Suddenly, without thinking, she closed the distance between them, aiming to do what she had wanted to do for the entirety of this conversation. Her ears fell as she neared, and if allowed, she would nuzzle into the fur on his chest, her goal in that moment only to offer comfort.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 14, 2019

Silence lingered between them. When she suddenly closed the distance, Charon was caught off-guard. A growl rumbled in his throat but it was cut short when she touched the fur on his chest. He felt that all he needed to do was keep himself under control, because Speedy was smart and she would not do such a thing -- she would make sure they were both safe. But no it was her who pressed herself against him as if she needed him, as if she longed for him as much as he longed for her, and he was not sure what to make of it.

He opened his mouth to speak, to say "we shouldn't", to say "I want you", to say anything, but he could not find the words. So instead he stood stiffened at the touch, until eventually he leaned down his head to nuzzle the top of hers.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 14, 2019

He growled and tensed at her touch, and she was about to pull away, but then she felt him nuzzle the top of her head, and she leaned into him more. She wondered if he just didn't like to be touched in general, or if he just didn't want her to touch him right now. Either way, it wasn't the first time she had overstepped someone's boundaries in such a way, and she readied herself to pull away, not wanting to make him uncomfortable since that was the opposite of why she had pressed against him in the first place. It was much harder than usual to move away; his scent and the feel of his warmth against her was like glue, keeping her in place despite her wanting move. But eventually, somewhere deep down, she found the strength to step away, and she put space between them once more, her expression apologetic.

Sorry, she offered, her gaze trained on the ground. I was trying to help, but that didn't really help either of us. She didn't look up, too ashamed of herself and her momentary lack of control. Keeping things from escalating was turning out to be far more difficult than she had originally thought, and she continued to find herself making decisions she wouldn't normally make. How could she face anyone on the mountain again if anything happened between her and Charon? She wouldn't be able to lie, at least not for very long. Aside from the fact that her belly would give her away eventually, keeping something like that from everyone would eat away at her until there was nothing left. And, she couldn't mess up his life like that, regardless of how he actually felt about his mate; it wasn't her place to shed light on that issue, nor would she ever want to do such a thing. She wasn't even sure she would be able to look at Charon the same after this--not without feeling ashamed for the things she had already done.

She kept her gaze down, still unable to look at him. The shame rippling through her was sobering, and it briefly cleared her mind and showed her once more what all was at stake.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 14, 2019

The touch eventually broke, which tore at his instincts. He didn't want her to leave -- he wanted her to stay, to come closer, he wanted to take her, he wanted to show her that she was his because he was her Alpha. But she pulled away and she then apologised, said she tried to help but that she wasn't helping anyone. Charon wanted so badly to believe those words, he wanted to cling onto them like his life jacket in this storm they faced together...

But he couldn't. I want you, Speedy, he said, his voice full of longing. He looked at her, waiting for her to raise her head again to answer him, but did not approach physically just yet.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 14, 2019

His revelation was enough to draw her gaze from the ground, her expression holding a mixture of confusion and need. Her heart was racing inside her chest, and for a few moments, she couldn't respond, completely frozen with indecision. She wanted him too, but she knew she shouldn't. It was just hard to really care about what she shouldnt do right now. Then, her precarious hold on her control finally broke, and her body moved as if acting outside of her conscious control. She was back against him, pressing herself into his chest and boldy reaching up to offer a nibble to his chin. Guilt resurfaced then, but only long enough for her to murmur a breathless: We shouldn't. She didn't move away, though, unable to rein herself in enough now to part from his warmth. The guilt was quickly forgotten, overpowered by her much stronger desire for Charon. Any hope of stopping anything was gone, at least on Speedy's side of things; she had finally surrendered to her body's urges, and she was too far gone now to pull herself back.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 14, 2019

There was doubt in her gaze, but then she relinquished and pushed herself back against him. Charon felt his body tense because he really knew they shouldn't. But that was also part of what made it so hard not to. At home he had his frigid mate and bitter daughter and here he had a warm body, a young girl that was his friend. He would be a fool not to accept the nibbles to his chin that made his heart race faster.

I know, he answered, though he neither made movements to stop the closeness. Charon nipped at Speedy's ear almost gently as he tested the waters further.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 14, 2019

Like her, he agreed that what they were doing was wrong, but he did nothing to stop where this was suddenly headed. His teeth on her ear caused her to inhale sharply, and she swallowed hard against the influx of feelings that consumed her at his touch. She had never felt like this before, and now that she stopped fighting it, it was absolutely intoxicating. She pressed into him further, wanting to be closer--to feel more of him against her if it was even possible. She reached up again, unable to resist touching him in return, and offered more nibbles along the line of his jaw. She wanted to show him how much she wanted this now, regardless of any reservations they had just moments ago. He wanted her, and she wanted desperately to give him what he wanted, entirely lost in the moment now and not even remembering why she had held back before.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 15, 2019

Speedy taking his words and deciding against this was all that would hold Charon back. He'd expected her to be the smart one of the pair of them, knowing he couldn't at all trust himself, yet here she was... Not being smart at all. The genuine affection that she offered was intoxicating to him. He wanted it, he needed it; it made him feel like the King that he was. It made him feel loved and appreciated where his family was shortcoming very muchly so. He thought momentarily of Hydra and Amekaze but it only drove him further into Speedy's arms because they would not give him what he needed, and she would.

He finally relaxed as she nibbled along his jaw. Her intent was so crystal clear that there needn't be any words. This was going to happen. Charon nibbled roughly along the side of Speedy's neck, intent on moving further back towards her shoulder. He growled again, but this time it was a primal sound filled with desire as he sniffed up her scent deeper and deeper each inhale.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Speedy - May 15, 2019

No, she most definitely was not being smart; sensible Speedy was long gone, lost in a sea of need and hormones. Her only thought now was that she wanted to give him whatever he wanted, so she remained still as he made his way down her neck, each brush of teeth against her skin sending jolts of heat through her body. His growl made a shiver run down her spine, and it pulled her from the ground where she sat against him. With quick shallow breaths and a racing heart, she glanced at him over her shoulder, her expression urging him to continue--to forget about whatever was troubling him and find comfort in what she was offering. Right then, it felt right to surrender herself to him. Later, she might feel differently, but there was no room in her foggy, desire-fueled mind to think about anything except how much she wanted this--him right now.

RE: Easy to be just you and me - Charon - May 15, 2019

To see her look back at him like that, urging him on, made Charon's heart race even faster and it showed in his face as well as the needy growl bubbling in his throat. Charon wasted no time, staying to nibble at Speedy's shoulder for only a short moment before he moved along her back towards her tail, where the scents were the most intoxicating of all.