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+--- Thread: Swiftcurrent Creek after i die, i'll re-awake (/showthread.php?tid=34314)
after i die, i'll re-awake - Zephyr - May 06, 2019
Forward-dated a week
@Kavik; open for sibling cameos
He's restless again; not a common state for the sprite, but a fairly regular one, striking him every so often as if to punctuate each days-long stretch of apathy. His ear twitches irritably, gaze flitting to the far corner of the den as he tries desperately to focus on anything but the noise. More accurately, the sound of his family existing in the same space as him. He can't help but find it infuriating. @Lainie's breathing in particular sends a fiery prickle across his skin, and he shifts, breaking his typical sphinx-like pose in an uncharacteristic show of discomposure. He fidgets quietly for a moment, shooting glares at @Helios until finally he can bear it no longer and —@Kavik; open for sibling cameos
DAD —He launches to his feet far too quickly, startling himself with his own volume and intensity, and his gaze, which had only found his father a moment before, immediately drops. He swallows, shame heating his face, and turns without another word, fleeing the den before he can even remember how to breathe.
RE: after i die, i'll re-awake - Lainie - May 06, 2019
She had been spent after a particularly rough few hours of play with Maman. She hadn't intended to flop down next to grumpy lil Zephyr and snore like an angry bear but she had. Zephyr's sudden shout and movement startled the shit out of her and she yelped "What the-?!" she glared after Zephyr and groaned "Drama Llama" she growled and shfited, curling up against Polaris and falling back asleep as if absolutely nothing had happend.
Rude girl cameo
RE: after i die, i'll re-awake - RIP Kavik - May 06, 2019
He had been pulled from the den for most of the day, patrolling and checking on new packmates to make sure they were settling in as well as not taking his kindness for granted. He had also checked the food stores to gauge how quickly their supplies was running out. It was something of a constant worry for the alpha now that they were expecting so many pups in the coming weeks, and his anxiety over it pushed him to constantly keep tabs on what came and went from the caches.
By the time he was able to return to the den to bring food and check on everyone, it was late afternoon, and as usual, he felt guilty that his many responsibilities had cost him more time with his family. Within seconds of moving through the entrance, he was met with a loud greeting from Zephyr, and he watched, mildly stunned, as she just as suddenly grew quiet before darting from the den. He had no idea what had just happened. Her outburst had woken Lainie, but she seemed to mumble something about a llama and then fall right back to sleep. He gave her a confused frown before dropping the duck carcass from his mouth and turning to go after his daughter.
Zephyr!he called out, somewhat panicked as he ran from the den. He couldn't help but worry about her bounding through the territory, possibly upset and not paying attention to where she was going.
RE: after i die, i'll re-awake - Helios - May 08, 2019
One post cameo ❤
The raven boy rouses from a rare moment of slumber. His sleeping has always been light, and perhaps Lainie's bear snores would annoy him, too, had he not grown used to it. (Or perhaps it is just because Helios had more or less passed out.)
Alas, he is disoriented when he first awakens with a jolt. His head lifts too fast, and he becomes dizzy; there are two of everything. Helios notices the two Zephyr's darting from the den, followed by their father and his clone. Weakly, the boy tries to urge his body up to chase after them, but it fights against him and he lands once more with a soft thump!
RE: after i die, i'll re-awake - Zephyr - June 27, 2019
He has a head-start, but unfortunately, even that isn't enough to help him outrun his father. Zephyr makes it only a few yards away from the den before he begins to tire, and perhaps two more before he stumbles to a halt entirely — no doubt with Kavik at his heels. He goes limp as he stumbles, allowing himself to fall to the ground in a heap of trembling silver fur. His entire body aches, but he hardly registers it. He's too focused on the thoughts racing through his mind — thoughts about himself, about how he can never make his body do what he wants, and how much he hates it. He wishes he could be like Helios, or like their father — strong and collected. But he is not, and he hates it, and it is these thoughts that keep him from rising no matter how much he wants to.
RE: after i die, i'll re-awake - RIP Kavik - June 28, 2019
Had he seen his son fall over in the den, he would have made sure he was okay before following Zephyr, but he had rushed out of the den too quickly, too worried about his daughter on her own outside the den. It was probably for the best though, because when he finally found his youngest, she was crumpled on the ground trembling.
Zephyr,he murmured as he neared, his voice soft and gentle. Kavik lowered himself to the ground and nuzzled whatever part of her cheek he could find.
What has you so upset?he asked quietly, concern on his face. It hurt him to see her in such a state, and he offered her another nuzzle in an attempt to soothe her further.
RE: after i die, i'll re-awake - Zephyr - June 28, 2019
His father's voice brings another wave of hot shame over him, and his ears pin to his skull. He doesn't answer the question immediately; he doesn't really have an answer at first. It'd been his own loudness that had startled him at first, but now — well, now it's something else entirely. He mulls over it for a few long moments, struggling to find the words to describe his feelings. When he finally lifts his head to look at his father, his eyes shine with unshed tears.
I hate being me,He whispers miserably, letting his head drop to the ground again. The tears start to fall a moment later, but he feels too defeated to fight them.
RE: after i die, i'll re-awake - RIP Kavik - June 28, 2019
When she finally answered, it left him momentarily speechless. He didn't quite know how to respond at first; he didn't understand why she hated herself, and he could help but feel like maybe it was his fault. He had never been a father before, and he wondered if he had unintentionally damaged her self esteem in some way. He wanted to tell her all the reasons he loved her, but he wasn't sure it would make her feel any better.
Why do you hate being you?he finally asked, touching his nose to her cheek. Maybe if he started there, he could help her work through things and feel better about herself.
RE: after i die, i'll re-awake - Zephyr - June 28, 2019
He stiffens slightly at his father's continued questioning, momentarily consumed by a flash of irritation. The last thing he wants to do is think more about these awful feelings — and that's exactly what he's doing now. He huffs softly, waiting another few moments to answer again — this time out of defiance.
I don't know,When he finally speaks, only barely louder than before, his voice comes out tremulous and far more vulnerable than he would have liked. The realization only increases his misery, intensifying the flow of his tears, and he decides he simply won't speak anymore. He'll just lie here miserably until someone inevitably carries him back to the den.
RE: after i die, i'll re-awake - RIP Kavik - June 28, 2019
His plan seemed to only make Zephyr feel worse, increasing her tears and pulling an even more confusing answer from her. It only made him feel worse that things seemed to be just as confusing for her. He placed his much larger head next to hers and softly said:
It's okay; we don't have to talk about it.He could tell it was a difficult subject for her, and the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel even worse. He wished he had some magical thing to say, but he was quickly realizing that there was no such thing.
Instead of talking, he just remained next to his daughter, offering his support through his presence until she would let him lead her back to the den.