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+--- Thread: Shadewood this bond between us (/showthread.php?tid=34380)
this bond between us - Takara - May 09, 2019
she had made up her mind, this was what she was going to do. it was something she ad to do, this could not go on. she was prepared this time, she had made sure that her child had fed and stuffed himself into a sleepy stupor so that he was not screaming out his anger for his breakfast being interrupted. she did not need to wake everyone up again with the most rage filled screams so early in the morning. she did not need to alert the man that was this woman's husband to come barging in this time as she deposited her son with her and left to... to what? to no longer be with this world? to deprive her phoenix from ever knowing his mother? yes, that was it. he would not need her if he had minori. minori would not need her to keep her securities. issun did not need her, he had made that clear even if he had told her to stay the day of their affair.
she had made sure the man in question had left to hunt, or whatever he was doing. slowly she approached the den where the dark woman slept, curled around her panda marked son. tears had already started to fall as she entered the den without any arning, much like she had before. she now knew that as long as she had her child in her grip that she would not be attacked but she was not staying so that did not matter.
very carefully she set her own child in with minori's curled form, licking him causing him to produce an annoyed sound that would probably wake the warrior up. she then gave her a lick across the face, affection very clear in the gesture. when those seagreen eyes opened she would give a sad smile, her pale blue eyes full of pain and resignation.
"please take care of him.." her voice shook before she moved away. "goodbye minmin.." she finished before turning away.
RE: this bond between us - Minori - May 11, 2019
Sleep was rare even though her sweet little panda boy didn't cause much ruckus. Sleep was rare the past week because of the heartache on top of the aching in her teats whenever Deku nursed. Thankfully she had finally caved in and had fallen asleep as Deku lay obediently at her side possibly sleeping as well. She didn't wake up when Takara entered and only halfway roused when a very angry cry came from her side "Deku?" the sleepy murmur was cut off by the affectionate lick and it was then she blinked open her eyes and looked up to see Takara's pretty blue eyes staring into hers, filled with a sadness that settled a heavy weight in her chest. Her ears went back and confusion surged through her sleepy mind as she looked at the additional kid that she definitely had not shoved out squirming angrily at her side. Her ears shot up as Takara spoke and her brows furrowed "Goodbye?..." she repeated dully and then suddenly she was fully awake. Her eyes widened and then she frowned clearly not pleased "Cut that nonsense out Takara! What do you think you're pulling, leaving me with your unescessarily angry son and just walking away?" she was trying to pretend to be angry but her voice trembled and cracked, her heart racing as she desperately wanted to get up and block her but didn't want to startle the pups.
RE: this bond between us - Takara - May 17, 2019
phone, work post
the bard watched as recognition filled her eyes, watched as confusion overtook that emotion when she repeated her goodbye with a question. she followed the curve of her dark ears as they angled towards her before falling flat, watched as she became fully awake before she turned. one, two, three steps before the ebony goddess spoke and stopped the chocolate cloud of depression in her tracks.
cut that nonsense out takara! What do you think you're pulling, leaving me with your unescessarily angry son and just walking away?
a sad smile played with her lips as she finally turned back with almost painful steps. she did not want to look at her angry son, she did not want to see any emotion in those seafoam green eyes. she had to leave, had to put everything back in order by removing herself from this world. her voice cracked as she spoke, shook so badly that she was afraid she would collapse at minori's paws. "where i am going.. he cannot follow.. i wont punish him for my crimes.. you are.. you are the only one i trust.." a few tears escaped as she looking into those beautiful eyes.
"no nonsense to cut my love, i have ruined everything.. i broke your trust.. i tried to leave this forest to make sure nothing happened.. it didn't work.. i have to fix this.. i have to.." her voice broke as she closed her baby blue vision, she could not see anymore anyways. that would make it easier if she walked off of the side of a mountain, tears blurring her gaze would make it an accident. you see, i did not mean to kill myself. tears caused me to not see the edge.
"i know you would raise him as your own.. i have to go.. i have to.."
RE: this bond between us - Minori - May 17, 2019
A sick feeling grew in her stomach, dread causing her heart to hammer harder inside her chest than she thought was possible. What was Takara talking about? "where...he can't follow.." she whispered and blinked slowly not saying anything else as her sleep addled, fear numbed brain struggled to process what was happening. The pain and guilt coming from the woman hurt her, it wounded her to know that Takara was the only one who suffered, who felt guilt and had consequences from what had transpired. "No" she said fiercely as she lowered her muzzle, gently moving Deku and Orochi to the side and covering them with the pelt of a fox for warmth. She stood up and moved toward the den opening, blocking Takara and looking down at her with angry, hurt eyes "You made a mistake but it was Issun who ruined everything. You already have your consequence, you have to raise your son without a father, you'll have to answer his questions one day" she knew her words were brutal but they were true, they were honest and she felt Takara needed to hear them.
She reached forward and used her nose to lift Takara's chin, peering into her tear filled eyes "Tell me what happened. All of it. Thats all I want. Tell me the truth that he refuses to give me. I don't want you to leave" her voice broke and her eyes filled with tears, a desperate and broken edge breaking her voice "I just want to know so I can move on. So I can work on forgiving who deserves it and dealing with who doesn't. I can't afford to lose anyone else" she didn't beg but her tone was pleading enough, her eyes desperate and watery.
RE: this bond between us - Takara - May 17, 2019
phone post
where...he can't follow..
her eyes remained closed, no longer seeing the ebony warrior's movements. her heart hammered in her chest, fluttering like a bird trapped in a net. she had to do this, she had to put her depression out of its misery. she turned then but she had not heard that minori move, had not seen that she had blocked the only exit she knew.
no.
The word was so final, so fierce that she blinked her blurry eyes open. fighting back more tears as she tried to see the feeling in the gaze of the woman she loved, was she blocking her way out? how.. how had that happened? for a moment she looked back where minori was last, noticing that the children were now covered in a beautiful fox fur. that was a mistake, the sight of the slumbering pups tugged at her heart. so different in color and yet they shared the same father. what color would her little dragon's eyes have, would they be blue like hers? what color eye would the panda boy have, maybe a pretty green like his mother? shaking her head she returned her attention back to the woman in her way, the words she spoke in anger and pain felt like a knife in her chest. she never lifted her gaze, showing that she was nothing next her.
she did not want her to blame the man that sire both children, they were married and she the homewrecker that took everything from the wife. You already have your consequence, you have to raise your son without a father, you'll have to answer his questions one day. ouch, but it was not enough punishment for her crime. a touch caused her to tense but she allowed her body to be moved, her chin tilted up so she could peer into those hurt eyes.
tell me what happened.
her mouth opened before closing once more, all of it, she wanted to but she remembered issun's words. that she was to lie, that this was a mistake, that a stranger was the father. the harsh words, clipped and angry as he told her to wash his scent off. her mind replayed it all as minori asked for the truth, asked for closure.
finally she looked away, her rump falling to the floor as she started from the beginning. "i.. i was in heat.." well that was a duh, keep going. "you and issun had just become mates so i left the forest, knowing it was wrong to want him.. i wanted him though so i thought i bathed in the river where you and i played in the snow.. i could douse the fire.. its unbearable.. you know.." she looked up with a sad smile before dropping her gaze back to her pale paws. "he.. he found me on accident.. and.. and.. i.. my mind clouded over.. i know that does not excuse what i did, i was stupid and did not think it through.. and..when he didn't push me away.. " her voice cracked. she had wanted all of it, wanted him even though he had a wife.
her legs gave out and she let her front legs slide out from under her. she placed her paws over her eyes as she continued. "im sorry minmin, i didn't want to hurt you. i love you. i.. i..." her words strangled her as a sob came from her lips, this was all her fault.
RE: this bond between us - Minori - May 18, 2019
She couldn't have prepared herself for the heart breaking truth, the truth that Takara truly wasn't to blame or at least not even close to as much as Issun was. She had tried to isolate herself, tried to avoid temptation but he had stumbled upon her and took advantage. That's how she heard it, her gaze becoming two seafoam orbs filled with flame "For some women the affect of heat is unbearable and even the slightest scent of a male will drive them wild. For the men it isnt the same. They think we smell good, yes it appeals to their instincts and hormones but they can control themselves. Issun...what he did is despicable. You aren't guilt free either but you did all you could" she couldn't help the way her voice shook except this time it wasn't with pain but with anger. How dare he do this and then have the audacity to sit there and lie so genuinely to her face? To make Takara look so awful. She sat down and stared at the walls of her den, ears flattening back at Takara's declaration of love. "I know...everyone seems to nowadays" she whispered and slid down to her belly scooting forward and placing her chin on Takara's shoulder "And i seem to love everyone right back. I love you too Takara" she said and let that declaration hang in the air, her eyes softening.
She was surprised to find that she felt no guilt for saying it anymore. If her mate could screw another, then she could love another right? Especially since at the moment the anger and hurt had shoved out any love she had for Issun. "You're staying. I'm not letting you leave, I can't..I cant deal with that right now. I can't face this...him alone. I don't feel angry at you anymore, how can I when it was an accident on your end? Please don't leave me Takara" she hesitantly licked at her muzzle, kissing the dropping tears away her own began to spill down the black fur of her cheeks.
RE: this bond between us - Takara - May 30, 2019
every post is a phone post!
6ou aren't guilt free either but you did all you could.
had she? wasn't she the one that loved him and wanted him to herself, wasn't she the one that followed him to the ends of the world for a chance that would never happen? hadn't she wanted him, needed him? no, she did not do all she could. the bard could have gone further, she could have walled herself in a cave or hole and not come out until it was all over. this was her fault, if she had not even come to this place then.. everything would have been alright. minori and issun, they would have been happy. they would be a family with their panda child, perhaps the ivory girl with the black leg would have lived without the punishment of issun's sin. her sin.
i love you too takara
wait, what? tear stained eyes looked up, watching at the dark goddess flattened her ears and seemed so unsure of herself. shock must have been obvious on her face as she simply stared at the woman. she loved her back.. no, that was not possible. she was the only one so screwed up that she had wrecked the pairing of two people she loved, no one could love her back.. and yet..
please don't leave me takara
she watched as the woman moved closer, leaned into her touch as she kissed away her tears but more seemed to come. what had she done, what fucked up world had she made? "I'm so sorry... so.. sorry.. " she cried. "I will not leave.. unless you tell me to.. I'll disappear if you want me to.. I'll stay if you say so.." there it was, her commitment. her promise.