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+--- Thread: Shadewood I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind (/showthread.php?tid=34595)
I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - Minori - May 21, 2019
forward dated to the 24th? @Issun
Some time had passed since Takara had told her everything. Time that was spent avoiding Issun, tending to Deku and Orochi, time spent trying to pick the pieces of her heart back up to no avail. The only thing that had come from this time was the certainty that she wouldn't be able to give herself to Issun anymore, not for this moment and depending on how the impending conversation went maybe not ever again. He had shown her his true colors not by cheating but by lying and then skirting around her as if she was a disease he didn't want to catch. She couldn't do this anymore, she couldn't have this type of behavior around her baby boy. That evening she had tucked the boys in to sleep and had asked Takara to stay with them, heading away from the den and calling for Issun. It was time he knew that she was well aware of what he had done, that she knew everything that had transpired.
What if he continued to lie? Would he lie to his son too? What would she do if he did?
RE: I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - RIP Issun - May 21, 2019
this day was bound to come. he tried preparing himself for it, assuring that everything would be ok. it was all a mistake. he was innocent. it did little to help. anxiety and guilt still gnawed the back of his mind and it swallowed it whole when he heard her call.
maybe it wasn’t too late to run. minori knew everything for sure now. there was no dancing around the truth. he couldn’t bear the thought. maybe he should run.
but it was too late. he could see her a ways away, searching for him. he watched her from a distance.
RE: I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - Minori - May 21, 2019
She searched in such a half assed way that it was clear she didn't really want to find him. She wanted him to know how much she hurt but she also just wished this hadn't ever happened. Such mixed feelings were maddening to the woman who had so freshly begun to feel and express feelings openly. She paused and looked just slightly to the left and it was there that she spotted him watching her. The sight of him caused her heart to ache so badly she wondered if she may actually die from it. He was so handsome...and he couldn't keep his dick sheathed. "I know" she whispered so softly that she knew he couldn't hear her. She closed her eyes and for a few heartbeats she just stood there, ears falling flat as she tried to wish him away. Knowing she was foolish she opened her eyes and started toward him "I know Issun. How Takara tried to leave. How you stumbled upon her. How you couldn't control yourself and you both did something awful" she spoke softly, her voice eerily soft. Her gaze swept over his face before she looked away, blinking back tears "Can you just explain why you thought lying would benefit you? Why you thought basically calling me crazy and hormonal and making me find out from Takara was the right thing to do?" she forced herself to meet his gaze and when she did crumbled and looked away again.
RE: I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - RIP Issun - May 21, 2019
his heart skipped a beat when she faced him. how he longed to run forward and hold her close. he wished that all of this had never happened, for everything to go back to normal. these habitual mistakes wore him thin.
issun took a step towards her but stopped when she began to speak. his expression darkened as she went on. “tried to leave? tried to leave? she didn’t do a damn thing!” he lied about a lot of things lately and it managed to skew his memory but he could not forget that day. every little detail clouded his mind whether he liked it or not. many things happened, but her attempt to leave was not one of them. “she came onto me first. and she made no effort to stop me.”
everything was out in the open now. he couldn’t stop even if he tried. “i only followed her because i thought she was you. and when she started touching me, when she said she wanted me i- i-” he took in a shaky breath. “you weren’t supposed to know about this. we agreed to keep it a secret because we knew this would fuck up our lives if word got out.”
RE: I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - Minori - May 21, 2019
"she didn't do a damn thing! She came onto me first!"
She froze and it was that very moment she lost all semblance of reason. Her world crumbled around her and she clenched her jaws tightly together. She shook her head as he continued, telling how Takara had touched him and said she wanted him. That was nothing like what she had been told. Nothing like the story of the sweet woman who failed to get away in time and lost herself to the throes of her heat. "No...she said..." she croaked softly and trailed off again as she replayed what Takara had said. It clicked and she grunted "You're right...she mentioned she'd done wrong. She just didn't explain what she did" she growled the words out and exhaled in a frustrated fashion as he began to explain that she wasnt supposed to know. "Ha! I do know! Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you both intended to hide this from me? To lie to me? Does that speak of love Issun?" she nearly shouted it at him, her voice cracking though unlike how she normally was there was no violent intent, no rage in her tone. Instead there was the raw, desperate broken tone of a woman who gave everything for the second time just to once again be betrayed.
RE: I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - RIP Issun - May 21, 2019
yaaay u get my 600th post <3
“i only did it because i love you!” his own voice was starting to rise and his tail began to twitch. “it was all a mistake. i didn’t want this to tear us apart. if i could take it all back i would, but i can’t.” he kneaded the dirt under his paws, trying to keep all these emotions at bay. “i knew this would break you. it would break us. everything we built together. lying was the only option. what other choice did i have?”
RE: I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - Minori - May 21, 2019
She stared open mouthed at him, blinking slowly as her mind struggled to comprehend what he said "You lied because you love me. Issun your lies are what caused this all to get out of hand! You're the one who doesn't seem to be ready to own up to everything! Takara knows what she did was wrong, she has a son to remind her of it every day. She felt so bad she was ready to run off and do something terrible!" she shouted this at him, hoping it would shake him out of his stubborn stupidity. "If you loved me you would have pushed her away. You would have said no. Instead you were weak and then you were a coward!" her fur began to spike along her fur and she gnashed her teeth, losing her temper in a flare of disbelieving rage. "The only option you should have had was to come back to me that night and confess your deed. I was your mate, I carried your son. If you had told me then and there we could have moved past it. But you both hid it and during that time you made me believe it would all be happy from now on."
"did it not occur to you that the spawn would look like you? Or were you not thinking at all?" All at once her rage faded and she stepped back. "I hurt you once before but i never cheated. I chose you. I left everything and everyone behind for you. All I asked was for you to be true to me" it shouldn't have been such a hard thing but she was starting to realise that it was perhaps the hardest thing of all to ask of a man.
RE: I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - RIP Issun - May 24, 2019
no. she was too blinded by emotions to see that she was wrong. lying was the only route to happiness. it was the only thing that kept them together. truth healed many wounds but this was different. it only cut deeper. it didn’t matter whether it revealed itself in the present or past. it always cut deep.
he wanted to tell her this in some way but the words were lost on his tongue. besides, what good would it do now? “it was a mistake.” that’s all that fell from his lips. quietly but firm.
RE: I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - Minori - May 25, 2019
It hurt. It hurt so deeply that all he could say in return was that it was a mistake. As if that made it better. Like that immature little response would make her go "OH SURE MY LOVE, IT IS ALL FORGIVEN"
No.
"Maybe we were the mistake. No....you. You were the mistake" she whispered and backed away slowly, no longer caring to argue. "You are selfish. Your lying only protects yourself. You dont want to admit it. We are over. Do not speak to me. You will take care of Deku as if nothing is happening. I will explain it to him someday" she said all this in a stone voice, her eyed detached and distant before she turned and ran.
follow her if you want more drama :)
RE: I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind - RIP Issun - June 03, 2019
well, that wasn’t expected. out of all the things she could’ve said or done, we are over wasn’t one he thought of.
it should’ve been clear. it was bound to happen one day. nothing good would come of this if she found out. but there was some part of him that thought they could come out of this. broken, but they’d still be together. and they would be in a sense. like it or not, their blood was intertwined through their son and nothing could change that. that was not a choice. he wanted this relationship to be a choice. this was no happy ending.
issun watched her go with clouded eyes.