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+--- Thread: Ravensblood Forest There's something in the way I wanna cry (/showthread.php?tid=35243)
There's something in the way I wanna cry - Maia - June 16, 2019
for you only if it works. I may aw this or ro it after a bit, not sure!
After hearing the terrible news at Moonspear, Maia had fled without any real logic behind where she was going. It seemed like there wasn't a lot of logic to anything right now. She couldn't believe it and couldn't reconcile it.... Charon, quite possibly her best friend outside of Wraen, was dead.
She couldn't go to Wraen, that was her only thought as she ran. She wanted to, so so so bad, but Wraen didn't even like him. She wouldn't understand and she'd want Maia to get over it and everything was terrible right now so no, she wasn't gonna get over it. Her next instinct was @Illidan, but then, he and his girlfriend didn't need her coming and crying to them and besides they were probably off adventuring cool places anyway.
She was wildly unfair to both individuals in her estimations, but grief and shock were making her frantic, searching for more and more to pile on until she collapsed in a puddle of sobbing wolf in the middle of a strange forest.
She couldn't believe he was gone. He'd been her friend, a mentor, and a massive link to her mom that was now severed completely. She cried until she thought her heart would shatter and then cried some more, because apparently she had more in her. Eventually she'd cry herself to sleep here, unwilling to move or start to head back. Not just yet.
RE: There's something in the way I wanna cry - Illidan - June 16, 2019
the ghost had decided that he would venture out in search of his mother nearer to the coast. raleska, he knew, would go further inland than he dared to. he had promised to remain with the pack and to be a presence there. if they were without their leaders, rusalka would be weaker than ever. he did not wish for rosalyn and erzulie’s children to be at risk of any harm. he did not know the full extent of what his mother had done at the borders of easthollow, or if they would seek revenge. illidan had no idea what had happened. he had only vercingetorix’s word.
wandering further than he had planned, the young man paused to step into a dark wood. he had thought to hunt in order to keep his pace. there had been no signs of caiaphas so far. the further that he traveled, the more he had started to wonder if verx had disposed of her in his own way. then, he scolded himself for thinking such things. if he could not trust the wolf he had allowed into their ranks, he had done a disservice to the pack. while he may have known better than to simply hear one side of a story, there was enough history with easthollow for illidan to fully believe that his mother would do this as a means of payback. he only hoped it wasn’t true.
a sound pulled him from his thoughts. the ghost drew his head upward and peered into the forest, searching for where it might have been coming from. it sounded as though someone was sobbing, but he could not place where they were. something about it was familiar to him. confusion etched itself onto his features and the wildling moved forward, searching instead for the individual who was hurting there. the soft touch of wind brushed through the trees and stirred the foliage overhead. illidan turned sharply at the sound of a fallen branch and locked eyes with a very familiar figure.
“maia…?”
RE: There's something in the way I wanna cry - Maia - June 16, 2019
Seems like she'd gotten close enough. She'd been on her way to see him when she thought better of it, but he was her only option now. She needed a friend who wasn't Wraen, and who wasn't Sarah or Terance with their serious and stiff comforting. Illidan was serious too, but he was serious in a sad way that made her feel like maybe he'd understand.
That didnt mean she was entirely happy to see him though because she was a mess, and letting anyone see her gross and sobbing was mortifying.
She couldnt answer him right away and turned her face to the side, away, while she tried (and only half succeeded) at getting it under control.
S..sorry.It was the only thing she could manage.
RE: There's something in the way I wanna cry - Illidan - June 16, 2019
she turned away from him and illidan felt a stinging sensation in his chest. his cheeks flushed red as he realized that he might have stepped into something that she didn’t want him being a part of. even worse, his heart seemed to sink into his stomach when she apologized to him. she had nothing to be sorry for and he felt like an ass for having approached her when she was in that state of mind. his eyes darted to the side and he clenched his jaw. somehow, happenstance had made sure that he would be there when she needed her space.
“don’t be sorry…” he assured her softly, lowering his head and locking his eyes with the ground. he didn’t want her to feel like he was staring her down. illidan also did not want her to feel as though she needed to be self-conscious. she had every right to break down in the woods and bawl until she felt better. who was he to stop her?
glancing toward her and then looking back to the dirt, illidan cleared his throat. “wh-what’s… what’s wrong, maia?” he asked her softly, leaning toward her to show that he would be there for support. he didn’t like to see her cry, but he knew that emotions did not care whether or not you wanted something. she had been struck deep to her core. he wanted her to know that it was alright for her to be sad, but that she had support if she needed it.
RE: There's something in the way I wanna cry - Maia - June 16, 2019
Probably the opposite to his goal, his concern just made it harder to keep her composure, and the way he asked it just set off another round.
H.. he's dead,she heaved through deep, hitching breaths. He was dead and he had cared about her and maybe if she'd answered his wish and gone and stayed with him he wouldn't be. Everyone was dying and disappearing she couldn't do anything to stop it.
Why does everything have to change? And why does changing mean everything has to get worse?She asked him, still a little breathless, and this time her tone held some heat to it. Not directed at him but at the everything she was talking about. Her parents hadn't warned her about any of this when she left home, and an ideallic life spent playing with her siblings and being loved by her family hadn't prepared her. Loss was something she'd known a few months now, but this new one... it was almost just as bad as the first in a very different way.
RE: There's something in the way I wanna cry - Illidan - June 19, 2019
’dead…’
it did not seem to matter that illidan was unaware of who she was referring to. he felt the words strike him forcefully, flooding his memory with images of the death that he had witnessed. someone she cared about had passed away, and all he could do was stand there with wide eyes and a shaken spirit. the wind brushed past him, toying with the jagged hairs of his neck. illidan forced himself out of the stupor, returning his sights to her face.
maia went on to express that she did not understand why things had to change – had to get worse. his features softened, saddened, and he shook his head. if only he had the answer to such questions. for several long moments, the ghost sat in silence and allowed her to have her time to suffer. when the quiet seemed to rattle him, illidan glanced toward her and breathed a soft sigh.
“i wish that i knew… it seems as though we’re placed on this earth to fight until there’s no fight left in us. maybe that’s all there is. you carry on until you don’t,” he stated quietly, brow knitting over his sunken eyes.
there was a moment of searching her features, trying to find where her joyous smile had gone and why it had left behind these tears and this misery. “w-who… who was it, maia? what happened?” he finally inquired to her, unsure as to whether or not this was a wise choice to have made. illidan did not want to appear insensitive, but he did not know the importance of this person she spoke of. who could have passed and caused this grief to flood her soul?
RE: There's something in the way I wanna cry - Maia - June 19, 2019
No one wants this. No one cares about this, all you're doing is bringing everyone down. He doesn't want to listen to you cry, why would anyone? If you aren't making people happy, what even is the point to being there?
Maia's insecurities screamed at her as the silence stretched between them, and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. What a stupid question. Why did she even ask it? She shouldn't have even come over here, shouldn't have bothered him. She shouldn't be bothering anyone.
He finally did answer, and boy it was a downer of one. So much so that she couldn't help it. Nerves along with the surprise of it made her laugh, quick and watery.
That's a pretty dark way of looking at it. Life, and all.She said, still with a little smile, but the giggle had relieved a lot of the tension she felt building up. Maybe she could talk about it.
Her relieved amusement did dull a little, though, and the smile fell away.
Charon,she answered quietly.
He - Wraen didn't like him. But he was one of my best friends. After my parents and everyone, he helped. He knew my mom and dad, but now....she trailed off, knowing it didn't make a lot of sense, but in some stupid way it was more real now. She'd hung so much of them on him that it was like losing them all over again too.
He wanted me to live with him,she added. She looked at Illidan.
It's stupid, I don't even know what happened. I ran away before I could find out.Her ears twisted back and a note of irritation entered her tone. Yeah, she hadn't even bothered to ask had she? And now she wouldn't ever know.
RE: There's something in the way I wanna cry - Illidan - July 14, 2019
maia laughed at what he’d said. illidan looked to her with some surprise etched in his features. he had not anticipated that to have been her response. yes, his statement had been rather depressing, but the ghost had only been attempting to share his belief with her. in spite of the fact that she had giggled at his remarks, illidan felt relieved to have seen the smile that had touched her lips. she commented that it was a pretty dark way of viewing things. illidan breathed a sigh through his nose and glanced toward the ground. “yeah, i suppose that it is,” he agreed with her in a quiet tone.
when the girl went on to explain who it was that she had lost, illidan listened intently and did not interrupt her. all of it seemed to spill from her mouth without much context, which left him feeling out of place in the conversation and her life. it seems that she had developed a very close relationship with this charon, and that his death had taken a very drastic toll on her. thoughts raced through his mind – questions and worrisome voices – but he did nothing to voice them to her. for all of his social ineptitude, he understood that she needed someone to support her in a difficult time.
“he sounded like he was a good man, and sometimes good men leave us earlier than we would like,” illidan spoke softly. “maybe it is best that you don’t know what happened to him. it would be hard to remember him any other way, if you had further details.” this was not a guarantee, of course. he only wanted her to avoid the same haunting images that plagued his mind, coming and going as they pleased.
RE: There's something in the way I wanna cry - Maia - July 20, 2019
Everything about him was so quietly sad. Usually she found it a challenge, something endearingly meant to be cheered away, no matter how much she might fail at it most time they met. Today though she found it comforting, because the way he spoke was the way she felt, and it meant she could drop some of the usual bravado. He wasn't turning away from her own sadness because it seemed like he understood it.
Maybe,she answered, softly also. She didn't want to remember him any way other than how he'd known him recently, and now her last thoughts of him got to be their night with the fireflies.
He knew my mom and dad, from before. He was their friend too, and being friends with him, it was easy to pretend like they aren't gone too.She frowned, and her breath started to hitch up again.
That's dumb, he was a super awesome friend and this sucks. But it sucks more because it's just... I thought I was okay.More with the tears.
But I'm not.
It was a re-opened wound, a reminder that everyone died and that most of her family likely had. Some had for sure. With Wildfire and Charon went another few links, and what if something happened to Wraen? Or Terance, or Sarah? There were so few people in this place she cared about, and as they disappeared, she felt her optimism cracking with them. If anything happened to Wraen... she didn't know what she'd do. She didn't know who she was without her sister.