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+--- Thread: Moonspear upon us all a little rain must fall (/showthread.php?tid=35319)
upon us all a little rain must fall - Jarilo - June 21, 2019
Lost in a miserable daze lately where he had only barely surfaced from some of the worst, darkest hours of his life--he also lost count of them precisely, but the exhaustion of such a suffering was wrought into his bones now that he had finally picked himself up again, motivated by Hydra's new litter and the return of some of his wandering sisters. @Vela, his last-living littermate especially.
But Jarilo wasn't feeling very sociably lately though. At least he was up, out and around as he walked on slowly despite the humid air that smelled like rain. He was trying to sniff along, so went on with his head drooped low and rest of him just drifting across the mountain's lower reaches (that thankfully he could navigate on autopilot). After a little while's prowl, the cliff hung nearby, overhead, and too often for his tastes, his eyes skirted upwards, only to rake down the edge of it as he tried to imagine their fall.. and what it had taken with them from him..
But he had to focus elsewhere, and he started tracking more towards the borderlands properly on the watch for something.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Vela - July 02, 2019
Sorry for the wait! <3 RL was being busy
Vela had taken her role very seriously after the pack meeting. Hydra would have her children soon and while she didn't understand why she would want children, Vela did understand that they would need protection. She was not going to let anyone that wasn't family in the pack lands. Hence why she spent most of her days patrolling the mountain and making sure not even coyote's or other vermin would come on their lands.
She still didn't really realize that her father was gone. She just felt that he could appear at any moment. She was still in denial even though she had seen her parents bodies at the foot of the mountain. She knew that if she would think about it too much it would become real and she would have to face that reality. Her eyes perked up when she heard another wolf approach. It was Jarilo and he looked immensely sad. It seemed he was more of a realist of the two of them. "Hey,' she greeted softly.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Jarilo - July 06, 2019
He went with the hope that the mountain's lowest edges might have a good distraction for him, either in duty or the likelihood of company there, and soon after dipping down onto a trail he found was well-worn, he was rewarded with a scent. A handful of strides later and he found Vela, who did warrant a little lift to his head, though the exhaustion the last few weeks had left the gesture lacking in the expression he would have normally worn.
The dark Ostrega closed some of the distance between them, though left his ears fanned out somberly as she greeted him. Gently, he waved his tail back, and this motion also lacked some of his typical flourish too--and not for any reason except himself, and how he was handling all of this lately: sluggishly, but barely enough since he had enough reasons to get up and go still, regardless.
Hey,he returned in a tired voice and only a faint show of his teeth, but truthfully, he was very relieved to see her; it was good for him that she had returned.
How's patrol?Because naturally, he assumed that was what Vela had been occupied with. So many of them were, and it was probably good they were raised to vent their frustrations in guarding the home--especially with Hydra's pups to consider and safety even more paramount now.
<33 pshh it's always fine with me, no rush
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Vela - July 12, 2019
Vela stepped closer to her brother and nudged him. She wished that she could cheer him up but that was never her forte. She usually brought a mood down instead of up. The female shrugged. "Nothing really worth noting," she spoke. She couldn't help but think that her father was going to show up soon that this was all a big joke. A horrible joke but a joke nevertheless. The female sighed. "How are you faring?," she asked him. She was never really one to talk about feelings but with her sibling, perhaps this was what he needed. If Jarilo was going to ask her that question she wasn't sure if she knew the answer to that.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Jarilo - July 17, 2019
He accepted Vela's touch, maybe leaned towards it just a hair, and nodded when she said nothing was really going on out here. His contact with many had been few lately, for painfully evident reasons, and he knew his littermate was handling it in her own way--just like this was his. Still, at her question, he splayed his ears first and paused over how to answer, until it was just best summarized as concisely and as honestly as it could be:
Honestly? Bad..he said, sighing. Unbecoming as it was already, he wasn't taking it that gracefully either.
But, moving along, I guess.Because he was, even if he didn't like it most days, it was something. Because he felt like he had to.
Everything reminds me of them,he admitted and this was a large part of what broke his heart, and he didn't bother clarifying who he missed. He hadn't realized just how intrinsically woven into his every single day his parents had been until they were out of his grasp, where he was left behind to deal with the aftermath without them--both of them. Never had he anticipated it quite like that. But, anyway, he looked to Vela.
This probably wasn't what you planned to come back to,the steely Ostrega said, hating that it had to be this way.
I am glad you're back, though.Despite everything else and his presentation of a mourning, moping mess, he wanted her to know this.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Vela - July 22, 2019
Vela was glad that Jarilo was honest with her. She could see it on his face that he was doing bad. However, it felt good to hear it from his lips. Perhaps the idea that he trusted her enough to show his emotions showed her that they had a stronger sibling bond now. The speckled female nodded slowly. "I think it will linger for some time," she spoke, also talking about herself. She was not the one that was good at cheering up others. The female sighed. She was just holding herself together but was dying on the inside.
"Tell me about it. It is home but it is empty," she agreed. The female glanced at her brother as he stated that this was probably not something she expected to come home to. "No, it is not. And there is nothing I can do to change it. That is what I hate about it," she growled. She felt that she could have made a difference if she had been there. She would have saved her father or just prevented it from happening at all. "To be honest, I am not. But I am glad to see you and Hydra," she admitted. "This whole mountain changed."
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Jarilo - July 29, 2019
Through all his somber, angst-ridden thoughts, he did have to agree; this was not a feeling that was going to leave quickly. Their parents had been intrinsically woven into the fibers of the mountain, absolute and ever-present. It seemed only natural that this reach would even extend past their deaths and he hoped that one day, it would not hurt him so badly to feel them still here too.
And, although she was glad to see him, and Hydra too, his ears kept a backwards angle to the tail-end of her admission This whole mountain changed.
It was changing.. I think, before..he said, for Vela had not been here to see it firsthand. Maybe she was lucky for that, or maybe she would want that better understanding--how much did she know, now?
Well I know it was, but I didn't realize it would lead to this, exactly. It is hard to explain..He exhaled through his nose; seeing Hydra ascend, somewhere at sometime, wasn't what had him off since that had felt inevitable and he was very glad that she was here to take their place (because who else had been guided so specifically anyway?) That had seemed natural, but to have her rise have to be marked by what their parents had done left him in a very strange place--to see that he was made of that, too. It had been a lot to cope with.
Veering it back towards her, he pricked up his ears, though his expression was still kind of uneasy given where his thoughts had darkened to.
Anyway--did you see anything good out there?he asked, having not had the chance to do so before in any real regard.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Vela - August 03, 2019
Vela frowned when Jarilo spoke that it had been different before. What had changed then? When she left her parents looked happy and fine. The female wondered what happened. Jarilo spoke that it was difficult to explain. But she kind of wanted to know. "What happened then? Try to explain it to me?" Perhaps then their deaths made more sense, at least to her.
Jarilo asked about her travels. She could tell him about that to distract him. After Jarilo replied she started. "Well! There was another dominant species. They walked on two legs and there were like these hard paths, like stone, and there were mega monsters that made lots of noise and went super fast. But it wasn't alive. Though it obeyed the two footers. I saw a wolf get killed by it," she explained. "It was very different, but the two footers weren't very smart or couldn't smell well at all."
Vela then looked at her brother. 'I also met a few nice females," she admitted and then looked at his reaction. "I like females," she told him more firmly. She would bite him if he was rude about it.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Jarilo - August 08, 2019
He could have anticipated her asking to know more--and it was in her best interest to, especially from him, someone close to the heart of it all. None were nearer to them when all had gone down than Hydra, and although his picture was not the clearest, he had gleaned his share of knowledge mainly from their mother, and some bits from Dad too.
If you really want it, I can try.. but there's no short and easy summary of it really, since a lot was going on, but Mom and Dad were disagreeing on things.. maybe a lot more than they let on..he said, his expression had darkened and afterward, more had added up for him. He had been closer to Ame through most of it all, naturally, so it had been more difficult to understand what he was seeing in her--but now he liked to think he almost had an idea.
Anyway, before he was going to launch any lengthy details (and he had to mentally get them in order first anyway), Vela shared some of her own that left him feeling strangely contemplative too. He had not imaged finding something so different during a relatively short time away from the Spear.
Wait.. weird. Was that very far from here?he asked, having never really heard at length about such stone paths and bipedal creatures, which were fleeting mentions from other wolves he met here and there. The concepts she detailed were a lot to drink in and he felt his brow furrow as he forced some sort of understanding wherever he could; it all went from strange beasts and monsters like that he didn't even know how to question to a real casual kind of add-on at the end that he almost could have missed.
At first he just tilted his head after a nod, because yeah, females often were likable and he liked them and their company too, much like he liked good males--but a half step of a backpedal that her firmer tone urged made him actually focus on it, and realize what she meant by that. He blinked, wondering.
Oh? Like--to be mates with one?he asked, curious enough to clear it up, not judgemental, and natural that he was going to question it although he did accept that he was a thing and a way to be.
I mean not necessarily any of those particular females, unless they were good enough.. but you know what I'm asking--to like in that way,he hoped.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Vela - August 20, 2019
Vela frowned then Jarilo admitted that their parents had been fighting, more than they let on. She didn't expect that they would. They were the power couple in her mind. Still, she knew Jarilo wouldn't make those things up. She was certain of that. She looked at her brother with a serious glance. "Perhaps... another time I want to know. Though it is disturbing that they were fighting."
Vela thought about his question. How far was far. "A weeks travel if not more," she returned. "You don't want to be there Jarilo, here is great," she returned since they didn't have those creatures that would take power over their lives. Making them live in fear. Then the topic shifted to what she had revealed to him. Vela nodded at him in return. 'Yes, technically. Though do you think I will ever be the one to have a mate? I don't know," she admitted.
"But I do like them in that way. Females are just so much different than males. I find them far more interesting than males on several different fronts," she spoke and then had a soft smile on her lips. "Thank you for understanding," she returned. "What-- What do you think Dad would think about it? Would he be disappointed in me?"
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Jarilo - August 21, 2019
Jarilo was relieved when she didn't want the whole spiel of it now, which was just fine with him. He was tired and reliving the details of it was necessary sometimes when trying to understand and maybe help others, but he didn't need it right now either; he nodded somberly.
It was bad. Like a tension first.. then suddenly? That.Jarilo agreed and left it at that, deciding next that he didn't need to see these things if that was the case. Not that he had ever planned to seek them out. For him, here had always been fine to return to and he didn't need a lot of convincing about that when it came to menacing beasts he could pry more about later sometime.
Anyway, no--now that she mentioned it, it wasn't really easy to picture Vela with a mate of any orientation. It was almost the same way he had figured for himself when Charon had brought it all up on him before. He figured maybe someone would one day but all the details were absent. He hadn't thought about Vela's behalf much before.
Well.. yeah,he agreed quietly.
You're not wrong,he smirked, because he had definitely met a few interesting ladies before in passing. None were ever more than a once (twice, if he was lucky) kind of encounter. So--point being, could he blame her? No, not really. Too bad she was also more competition for the affections of lovely girls now...
As for Dad, Jarilo then frowned and had to switch his tail anxiously.
Hmm tough call. Maybe he could have understood too?the son tried to guess.
After Alya left for Nikai to be mates, he seemed to encourage me to one day plan to do something like that in my own way.. Like find a mate and start a family, legacy things.. which were important.Enough so to kill him in the end, he believed. Really, he had spoken to few about this but if this was ever going to be pertinent between them, now seemed to be the cause.
Which at the time really freaked me out because I was in no place for that--still am not, granted--but he made me feel like that was what would make him proud,he sighed. He didn't know, and now they couldn't ask.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Vela - August 28, 2019
Vela nodded slowly, as she started to get a bit of a grasp of their situation. Of what happened when she was away. Something had snapped. Vela shuddered, perhaps it was good that she hadn't been home. She might have done something with all that tension in the air. She disliked it. Her ears perked up when Jarilo told her about dad encouraging to find a mate. Then her ears dropped. "He would be disappointed. I am sure of it," she spoke with a scowl. "He would probably want me to have found a male that was of his approval and have his pups to further his legacy," Vela spoke slowly.
"I am pretty sure I won't be able to do that with another female," she stated. She loved her father but he was different to when he wouldn't get what he wanted. "I can understand that such a thing would freak you out, Jar," she admitted and then offered him a bit of a smile. "You are such a softie,' she teased. Frankly, they probably all were, deep down. "I can see you being a good mate to a girl one day though," she admitted, almost kindly. He was caring and working dutifully for the pack. He would do that for a girl he loved as well.
"Let's not think about all that. Us having kids? Jesus, Jar. We aren't that adult yet," she decided and lifted her muzzle a bit in distain. Though, there had been a feeling of want. Of having someone for herself only.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Jarilo - September 02, 2019
While he wanted to be hopeful, it was difficult right now--especially since she had a very valid point and such a thinking as that one his sister named seemed very in line for their father. As much as he hated to admit it, she probably wasn't wrong, and she had been closer to him than Jarilo anyway. His ears slicked back for the reluctant nod to follow.
Probably true.. but you really think there's even any male out there he'd actually approve of?he tried to humor it a touch, but honestly, Jarilo always had the impression that Nikai and Dirge were just barely within what could be called Charon's good graces. Actual, entire approval was probably a stretch.
As for the rest, it was more of a relief than he had been prepared for to hear her agree on that much--though he didn't know what to say about two females trying to have puppies right now either. He was kind of rankled by the subject anyway, considering the nature of the tipping point that did his father in, and what had been such a point of contention for his dad even before.
Er, maybe one day.. yeah, but I don't even know if I'd be any good at it,he scoffed lightly.
Honestly yeah. I am in no rush. There's a lot of other steps to be done before that point anyway, and I barely know what I'm looking for anyway,He shook his head. It was even a lot to grasp having Hydra's litter here now, and that had only just happened. The thought of pups of his own at their age right now was enough to send panic down his neck--so obviously this Ostrega was in no position for it yet, despite his.. ability.
I think.. maybe that was a big part of why Dad's thing bothered me--the hurry, since he ended up with Mom being young himself? But she had waited.. so obviously I don't see the harm in it.Jarilo reasoned. They had both ended up in the same place in the end after all, as they had so gruesomely illustrated for the rest of the family.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Vela - September 02, 2019
Vela sighed softly when Jarilo admitted that their father would probably not approve of her being with a female especially for the sake of reproduction. Vela shook her head. "Probably not," she returned to him. It really helped to think that way. Her father would probably never agree with anyone she would mate with. He wanted the best for her, at least now he could just rest and watch her be happy with the one she would choose. Vela kind of liked that idea.
Vela snorted to keep in her laughter. "Be any good at it?," she laughed. "Charon is your father I am sure you will be able to more than capable of fathering children," she chuckled. She didn't realize that Jarilo was worried about that. "Well, clearly you would want someone who is not in a hurry to get children as well," she pointed out. "Perhaps that would be a good start for you," she offered. She then looked over her brother. "Brother, have you even been looking?," she asked curiously, a hint of a smirk on her lips. "You will find out what you like if you start dating females," she pointed out to him.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Jarilo - September 04, 2019
Vela agreed--to the king himself, what males were even remotely worthy Charon's daughters? So few and far between. It made him wonder what expectations his father had placed on him for a mate, namely, what had been his ideal visage of the hypothetical contributor to the his Ostrega genes, since he had been so keen to see him match up and family it away. Charon had told him it was someone to be proud of--among other things, of course. That had stuck with him above and beyond, though. But he slicked back his ears, and snickered back.
Well not just that part, like being an actual good father, too.. There's a lot.A lot he could say, and a lot to be overwhelmed with if he thought too hard about it. He doubted in his inexperienced heart that he would be able to measure up to the standard his father had placed for them.
I wasn't even as close to him as you were, and even after everything he did in the end, Dad still set the bar pretty high,he sighed.
Anyway, Vela's next remarks reminded him of dad too so he couldn't be sure if he wanted to roll his eyes or feel a little defensive because of the subject he was not very good at obviously.
I have been on the lookout. Less lately, after.. everything, but I don't know? I've met pretty girls, interesting ones too but it's always just a once or twice type of thing. Everyone usually is far, or has their own.. whatever else going on,he complained. Packs, family, otherwise. Like him. He wasn't often found roaming around casually, on the hunt for potential suitors. It hadn't occurred to him that he needed it yet.
Nothing's ever really felt super right with it anyway, or I haven't been able to take the time and find out what that is yet--but it's very much a work in progress,he said back, because while it stung sometimes when brought to light, his day to day wasn't bothered by his shortcomings in finding any partnership so far.
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Vela - September 09, 2019
Vela was surprised that Jarilo was even thinking that far ahead. About being a father and being a good one as well. As far as she knew that was not something every male did. At least, she had heard that when in heat she should watch out for males that were only keen on that one time. It made her appreciate her brother and that he was a good wolf. "He did. But I think in the end all that matters if you are happy."
Vela slowly curled her maw into a smile as Jarilo started to complain. It was rather adorable for him to go on like that. She could recognize what he felt. She felt the same way. She had tried as well but had not succeeded either. "I didn't say you weren't. However, it does suck. But then again, you can also think that if you didn't find the right one they aren't worth your time," she returned to him. "Well, good to know. No pressure, Hydra already had pups this year so you have more than enough time. Who knows who you will meet during the winter."
RE: upon us all a little rain must fall - Jarilo - September 15, 2019
After seeing everything that had played out in the months leading up to today, Jarilo was honestly deep-down a little gunshy about the entire relationships, mateships, and consequential offspring matters--far more than he was honestly willing to let on. It stressed him out one way or another, the lack of or the potential of, he was here to be bothered by any of it.. but he hoped this was getting better, because he was learning not to feel so pressured about it. In the grand scheme, it was going to work out if and when it was time--and that was that.
That's a good way to put it,he agreed, also able to find some peace in thinking like that--because none had evidently been worth it so far, not enough to motivate him into making it happen. So, with that in mind, he was also keen to move on past it.
But yeah.. all true. It'll work out, whenever it's right, I think.Jarilo tried not to dwell on it much anyway. He believed he had time. He didn't plan on going anywhere any time soon--content to focus on helping keep home safe while Hydra's pups grew up protected here, just like he had.
Anyway.. I'm going to round out this patrol. You too..?he asked, wondering if she had other places to be than roving around the lower reaches with him. If so, with or without her company, then he would be off towards that goal soon.
hope a fade is okay <3