Whitefish River And that's all you need to know

Whitefish River And that's all you need to know - Printable Version

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And that's all you need to know - Speedy - August 08, 2019

@Vercingetorix <3
Backdated to 7/23

Leaving her pups in the trusted care of @Emrik, Speedy made her way from the caves and headed towards the river. Lately, between caring for the injured and raising her four children, she hadn't had a lot of time for much else, so when her friend had offered to babysit for a little bit to give her a break, she had gratefully accepted.

Unable to completely take a break, she used some of the time to collect more marigolds to replenish what she had used from her stores. She also came across some lavender, and, pleasantly surprised, gathered some of the fragrant plant, as well. The bundle of plants now laid next to her while she sat on the bank of the river, watching the ripples gleam in the moonlight as her mind drifted to all of her responsibilities; even the quiet, clear night filled with soothing cricket songs couldn't completely settle her mind, unfortunately, but she was grateful for the time, anyway.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Vercingetorix - August 10, 2019

He couldn't sleep. Sleeping opened him up to all the nightmares, reliving finding his son again and again. Fuck sleep. Verx paced the borders of Kaistleoki, completely restless in his new (temporary?) home, doing one of the only things he knew best -- patrolling. Guarding.

Except he'd done a shit job of that in protecting Dragomir, hadn't he?

Vercingetorix almost missed the healer through the fog of self-loathing, and was about to blow right past her when something -- a flick of an ear, or the stirring of fur against the night breeze -- caught his attention. Figuring it was rude to just ignore her, he changed course and began to pad her way, settling a few tail-lengths away from her with a muffled, weary sigh. He was silent for a moment, watching the water.

Speedy, right? he asked, still looking down. How's Dragomir? Is he healing well?

RE: And that's all you need to know - Speedy - August 10, 2019

She caught his scent on the breeze and turned just as he approached. She watched him quietly as he focused his gaze on the water, speaking only after he asked after his son. Yes. And, if I've heard correctly, you are Vercingetorix? She hoped she pronounced his name correctly but imagined that was probably the very least of his worries. Dragomir is doing a little better, especially since we moved him out of the caves. Her own gaze moved to the water, as well. She couldn't imagine being in the father's position. She would be sick with grief and worry, and she wished she could ease his emotional pain as easily as she usually eased physical pain. But, it was quite a bit harder than just administering an herb.

She wanted to say that she was sorry for everything he had been through, but if the last few moons of her life had taught her anything, it was that sometimes sorry just didn't help. Still, she wondered if anyone had tended to his psychological wounds. She had tried to comfort Aurëwen as much as possible, but she hadn't talked to Dragomir's father very much. How are you? she asked softly, gaze moving from the river to rest on whatever she could see of his face.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Vercingetorix - August 11, 2019

He glanced at her when she said his name, and a grin slowly oozed over his muzzle -- a fleeting glimpse of his old, carefree self. Call me Verx, he insisted, nodding. As she described Drago's condition, the smile faded into an expression of stone-faced worry that was all too commonplace these days.

Worry, and guilt. Her question took him aback; Verx blinked, mouth twisting idly, before lifting his shoulders and letting them fall in a shrug. He was silent for a moment before speaking again.

I was the leader of a pack on the coast, he mused, canting his head to the northwest. We had a home. A future. Safety. And then my pride got the best of me. A growl simmered in his ruined throat. I was challenged and lost, and we all fled. A few days later, Drago got taken.

Vercingetorix looked at Speedy, on the verge of tears once more. It's my fault, he said, choked. If I'd have just kept my stupid fucking mouth shut, this wouldn't have happened. Dragomir would be okay. But somebody hurt him really badly, and I couldn't protect him from it, and it's all on me. It's all on me!

He sank to his belly on the bank of the river, sides heaving in silent sobs. He'd usually be embarrassed at the show of emotion, especially in front of a pretty young thing. . .but he was long past caring about such superficial things.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Speedy - August 13, 2019

She nodded, tucking away the nickname for future use; it would certainly be much easier to say, and she assumed he used the shortened version of his name for that very reason.

She waited in the silence after her question, giving him time to answer however he wished. She was surprised to hear him divulge so much, but she kept the feeling to herself, concern the only emotion registering on her face as he continued.

His story grew darker, and when he admitted to her that he felt like Dragomir's horrible situation was his fault, her chest tightened painfully. She was sickeningly familiar with how it felt to live with such terrible guilt, but whereas her situation was actually her fault, Verx was not responsible for his son's kidnapping. This had to be hard enough on him without putting all the blame on himself.

She was about to say as much but then he fell to the ground and started sobbing, startling the healer briefly before tears welled in her own eyes. She lowered herself down next to him, and placed her head across his back if allowed. It is not your fault, she murmured soothingly. You can't blame yourself for the actions of someone else. His despair was white hot against her senses, and she desperately wished she could make it go away for him. The only one that holds blame is your son's kidnapper. He couldn't go on feeling so guilty about all this; it would consume him.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Vercingetorix - August 16, 2019

God, she was warm. Warm and pleasant, and smelled of green things, the latter of which reminded him -- with a twist of his stomach -- of Aure. But he kept all negative thoughts at bay and instead sank into her embrace, letting the tears fall freely. He was quiet for a few moments, taking in her words. . .which ended up just bringing him a newfound rage.

Yes, it's on them, Verx snarled, tail lashing behind him. He was sure she could feel the vibrations coursing through him, the twitching of eager muscles, desperate to take vengeance. I'm gonna find them and kill them, mark my words. But I wouldn't have to do that if we hadn't been out on our own.

Still, he curled closer to the healer, feeling the oddest of sensations -- oh, no. Not now, you dumbass. Well, grief typically did bring the horndog out in him. Then again, what didn't? He shifted awkwardly, curling his tail closer to his haunches.

You have kids? he asked, in a vain attempt to shift the focus away from his impending arousal. Goddamn it.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Speedy - August 19, 2019

He seemed to take some comfort from her affection, and Speedy was glad to offer it. She said nothing else while he cried, simply letting him take whatever he needed from her presence and closeness.

But his energy shifted drastically at the mention of the monsters who had harmed his son. His anger practically vibrated through him. In most matters, she shied away from violence, but she completely understood how he felt here. Becoming a mother had changed her in some ways, and she knew she would do whatever she needed to do to keep her children safe. So, she didn't discourage him or try to make him tone down his anger any. I don't blame you; only someone evil would harm a child, she replied. But, he still found a way to twist things and place some of the blame on himself. She knew the guilt would be hard work through, but she would try her best to help him if he let her. She could tell how convinced he was of his fault in this, and she had a feeling it would be difficult to make him see things any other way.

Verx pressed further into her embrace, and she tightened around him, relieved that he at least could find some comfort even if he wouldn't be absolving himself of his guilt anytime soon. She smiled at his question, nodding slightly against him. Yes, I have four. Two sons and two daughters; they're just about a month old now, the healer answered, her love for them clear in the gentle tone of her voice. I would be just as angry as you are if someone hurt any of them. Just the thought made her blood heat and nausea spike in her stomach.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Vercingetorix - August 19, 2019

He nodded in fervent agreement, a fervency only bolstered by her drawing closer to him. The brute took in her warmth, listening to her speak of her children in quiet, contented fashion. His eyelids were beginning to droop; she had a soothing quality about her.

Four is a lot, Verx remarked, grinning. I thought two were hard enough to handle. Their daddy live here? he asked, tone casual -- but the underlying meaning was clear enough.

Not that he wanted to take on more kids, heavens no. But if there wasn't another male to contend with. . .well, great.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Speedy - August 20, 2019

She chuckled softly, nodding in agreement. Four was a lot, and she knew things would only become more challenging as they grew. She was about to say more about the children, but the mention of their father made her pause. Guilt swelled in her chest as it always did when she thought about Charon and what she had done to the wolves of Moonspear. She loved her kids, so she could never say she wished it hadn't happened, but she wasn't sure she could ever forgive herself for the way things had gone. How could she? What she had done was awful and wrong and went against everything she believed. Hopefully now that she was out of their lives, things had been able to return to some kind of normal for her former packmates.

She realized she hadn't answered him yet, and the healer drew in a deep breath. um, no, she finally said. He lives somewhere else...this wasn't supposed to happen... Speedy tried her best to keep her body soft and comforting for Verx despite the uncomfortable topic. She didn't blame him for asking; it was kind of a logical question even with the hint of a hidden motive behind his words. She wasn't exactly available, though, and once he learned the truth, she was sure he would feel differently anyway. He was mated already, and I really made a mess of things. She fell silent again, mind turning with everything that had happened. Fear mixed with the guilt as she wondered when it all would catch up to her. One thing was for sure: she would die before she let any of it touch her children.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Vercingetorix - August 25, 2019

Oops, wrong question. Well, great answer, sort of, as it meant there was no one to fight, but. . . As with all things in this life, it was, of course, complicated. He heard her out, face contorted slightly with only half-feigned concern. When she'd finished, he shook his head, giving her a little shrug in response before speaking.

Nah, I'm sure it was all a misunderstanding, Vercingetorix assured her, tail beating a gentle tattoo near his thigh. Seriously. . .mating season gets pretty crazy. Shit happens. All that matters is that you got four beautiful kids out of it; you shouldn't blame yourself.

Like did he regret shacking up with Aure, most days? Hundo percent. But he knew that if it hadn't happened, Drago and Isi would be nonexistent -- at least the way they were now. He wouldn't trade them for the world, even for a chance to start over, rewind to before he ever came to the Teekon motherfucking Wilds.

You're a great mother, he said warmly, despite having no clue whether she was or not (he sorta figured by how nurturing she was right now). Everything else is irrelevant.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Speedy - August 27, 2019

A sad smile curved her lips at his words. She wished she could just believe them and forgive herself, but her guilt ran too deep, and she wasn't sure she would ever be able to free herself from it; she, honestly, didn't deserve to be free from it. But, he was right about one thing: she didn't regret her children for even one second. All the pain and sacrifice up to this point seemed worth it to get to watch her four perfect children grow. As much as she hated herself for what happened, she just couldn't ever bring herself to wish things had gone differently, not if it meant she wouldn't have her babies.

His praise made her smile and shake her head. Ah, well, I try to be, but I'm sure I make mistakes just like everyone else. She was sure she would make more as the pups got older. But you're right: I wouldn't change anything if it meant I wouldn't have my children. She loved them so much it scared her sometimes.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Vercingetorix - August 29, 2019

Pah. Verx was sure her mistakes paled in comparison to his, and was perhaps overly hasty when he shot back, 'Least you didn't let one of them get kidnapped, before realizing how shitty that might sound. He grimaced, shaking his head. Uh, sorry. Projecting.

With a sigh of reluctance, he moved away from her, beginning to rise to his paws. He couldn't wallow for long. He'd lose himself in the darkness if he carried on, and fuck if he was gonna let that happen. Couldn't happen. Couldn't afford it.

Thanks, Speedy, Vercingetorix murmured, dipping his muzzle in gratitude. He smiled, an expression more kind than wily. That helped, I think. To talk it out with someone nice. Appreciate it. He cocked his head, grin growing broader. See you around?

God, he hoped so.

RE: And that's all you need to know - Speedy - September 10, 2019

Concern overtook her features, and she shook her head at his words, touching her nose gently to his shoulder in comfort. She knew there were more painful layers underneath his joke and the way he seemed to just brush the comment aside. It would take more than just one conversation to ease his pain and guilt over the whole thing, which wasn't very surprising given that it was a pretty traumatic situation for all involved.

He sighed and stood up then, and the healer moved from the ground with a little stretch. She shook her head again at his thanks, a smile growing and replacing the worry and concern. It's no problem at all, she assured him. Come find me any time you want to talk,Speedy offered.

She dipped her head when he spoke his departing words. I'm sure we will, she replied. When he left, she turned to head back to the den and check on the pups.