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+--- Thread: Sun Mote Copse Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger (/showthread.php?tid=36381)
Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - August 30, 2019
@Wraen
Since Colt’s death, Niamh had been somewhat withdrawn, devoting herself to patrolling the borders as wandering along and doing her job seemed to help keep her mind from wandering too far. She did her best to compartmentalize, avoiding thoughts that might lead her to a fresh flow of tears, though occasionally she passed an area that still smelled of his border markings, and made her weaken slightly. She hoped no one would touch those places yet, as it was somewhat of a reassurance to smell him still. It likely fuelled her denial, to catch traces lf him here and there- but for the time being, it was harmless for her to reminisce and pretend he was still patrolling the borders himself.
An unfortunate fox passed the borders earlier, and Niamh would have none of it. She tracked the creature down and chased it just beyond the borders, where a slip-up gave her the advantage, and she caught and killed the smaller predator. Now with it hanging from her jaws, she returned to the borders and continued her patrol, carrying the fox along with her as though to boast a warning to any other valley creatures that might pass that way.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - August 31, 2019
After the meeting had dispersed that evening (details of which I am going to withhold for now) Wraen had given Niamh and Finley time and space to mourn. Colt's life-timer had stopped that fateful evening, but the rest of the world kept ticking. Kids needed to be fed and educated, borders needed to be checked daily, trails needed to be followed and hunting grounds inspected. Wraen's paws were full and she was glad for the work she had, which put any other unpleasant thoughts at bay. It was easier to enjoy one day at a time than to worry about a distant and unclear future.
She was returning from an earlier tracking session with Elfie at her side. The boy had shown keen interest (he had pushed and pressed and nagged her for weeks until she yielded for the peace's sake) in seeing the big guys and had been properly impressed by the numbers of the herd and the sheer size of the individuals. Boy's pride and I-can-do-it-all attitude was humbled for a while. So much even that, when Wraen spotted Niamh and wished to talk with her in private, she did not have to fight off the boy's company as a sticky gum on the boot-sole. He agreed immediately, rushing home, eager to boast to everyone, what he had seen outside.
"Good morning!" Wraen greeted Niamh from afar and, when she came closer and saw, what had mishapen her packmate's form from afar, she added a bit more. "Eventful patrol, huh?"
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - September 01, 2019
When Wraen's greeting rang out, Niamh stopped, still staring straight ahead for a moment, until she opened her jaws, dropping the fox to the ground with a dull thump. She turned her head to regard the approaching female, though her expression fairly clearly showed something akin to skepticism. It wasn't a good morning, and she felt lightly ruffled that Wraen would say such a thing so soon afer Colt's death. Of course- she was still over-sensitive and a bit irrational, so her reactions were still a bit poor. She glanced down at the fox when asked about it, and she merely frowned and shrugged one shoulder. "Won't trespass again," She said dully,
She wasn't exactly looking for company, so she figured she might as well continue on her patrol, and if Wraen followed her, then that was her choice. Before she did so, Niamh bent down and placed one foot on the fox's body, and grabbed it with her teeth near the base of its tail. With a couple savage yet brief shakes of her head, she pulled the fox's tail free, and dropped it again, intending to do what she'd done long ago with a coyote when they'd bee problematic trespassers at the plateau- leave bits of it here and there along the border as a warning for other predators. She stepped overthe tail and squatted, leaving a clear marking to any other predators that happened upon their borders. Simply leaving a chunk of meat at the borders would be foolish- but making a clear display of it, and urinating on it, had served to deter coyotes from the borders before. For extra measure, she kicked some dirt out with her hind feet, making it even more clear that this was a border marking, and no trespassers would be tolerated.
She glanced to Wraen, ridding her muzzle of a puff of fox fur with a sharp exhale, before she picked up the fox, gestured vaguely that Wraen could accompany her if she chose to, and began to move along the borders again.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - September 10, 2019
Wraen did not particularly believe that spreading soiled pieces of corpse along the border would help to keep other bad guys away. Quite the contrary - she had a nagging feeling that some did not consider urine as a problem, when it came to food. Therefore she decided to carefully remove the stuff at a convenient time later. And when Niamh would be at a safe distance as well.
Now, however, she tagged the firey girl along and, when it seemed very unlikely that she was going to say anything, it fell to Wraen to keep the conversation going. And she thought that practical matters were the easiest and safest to discuss. "How did your meeting with Towhee go?" she asked, referring to the fact that Niamh had volunteered to go and speak with the leaders of Asterism Grove.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - September 13, 2019
Wraen asked about Towhee, and she found herself lacking something honest or useful to tell her. She almost wanted that conversation between herself and Towhee to be private, as she'd ended up nearly begging Towhee and Phox to let her bring her kids and join them instead. She didn't figure that that would go over well, especially not with the one who'd stepped up to fill in the leadership position of the pack. Wraen was fairly understanding, as far as Niamh knew- but she wasn't about to go pushing that limit too far.
"Went alright," She said, stopping to sniff a marking which was recent enough it didn't need reinforcing. "Kind of mostly just talked about...Stuff," She said, her tone of voice indicating that it was a personal matter- and Niamh didn't excel when it came to talking about her feelings, unless it was something she could shout and bitch about. "You think we'll be alright for the winter? I...I have a feeling it's gonna come early, and be a long, hard winter." She said bleakly.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - September 14, 2019
Wraen had not expected Niamh to pour her heart out to her. They were not exactly friends, more like work colleagues that had just lost a boss and needed to see, where they stood and, how they could manage working together. She therefore found it nice that the young woman had someone to talk to, trust and rely on and hoped that the friendship with Towhee would aid the recovery.
"We will have to live and see," she replied levelly. "I plan to go to Asterism Grove soon and discuss the options of banding together during the winter, if we ever come to it. In turn I think no one will object us opening our doors for them, in case Hideaway Strath proves challenging and less hospitable than it is now," she added. She had lived in the mountains for a year (one third of her life) and she had learned that there were certain dangers associated to them. Avalanches being one of them, limited resources coming close second.
"You see - I am not willing to merge with them now, because there are certain disadvantages about their current place of residence. Cut away from the rest of the valley it's ability to support a number of wolves is not limitless. And my previous pack, which lived in similar conditions, dwindled, whatever food sources there were in a matter of months and were forced to move. Imagine, what would happen in winter," she explained her reasons and hoped that Niamh understood them as well.
"We have options, Niamh, we are not tied down to copse," she smiled at her, referring to Eljay's emotional outburst during their meeting right after Colt's demise. "Personal is not the same as important."
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - September 14, 2019
There was a certain air of gravitas with which Wraen spoke when she discussed pack matters which at a glance might seem somewhat distant and aloof, but Niamh knew better than to perceive Wraen's rationale as such. Instead, she appreciated Wraen's insight to be thoughtful and level, with a sort of rational reasoning that seemed to come so naturally to her. It seemed effortless for Wraen to discuss strategic pack matters, and she- unlike Eljay- seemed to be capable of separating emotional attachment from necessary action, and Niamh was grateful for that. Discussing pack matters wasn't exactly the most invigorating subject for Niamh, who perferred action and excitement over practical discussion, but it did make her feel better knowing that the pack was in god hands with someone so sagacious at the helm.
She felt concern bloom for Towhee and her pack when Wraen mentioned the fact that the grove might not be the best place to weather out the winter. She wasn't entirely certain Towhee would agree with Wraen- and she herself didn't have the experience to know any better, but it appeared that Wraen did. Of course, Niamh's default was to place herself in Towhee's corner- but if it meant that her friend was indeed choosing a potentially more hazardous place to live during the winter, then she would have to be concerned.
"Dunno where else would be better," She said. "Good to have shelter from the elements, but food is important." She said. "I can do some scouting to see if there's anywhere that the herds have been hanging out; might bode well for us to be near those places." She said. As far as she knew, King Elk Forest was a good place to go looking for herds- but sometimes they moved and migrated to different grazing grounds throughout the year. "It'd be kind of nice to have both packs together," She commented, then.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - September 15, 2019
"We might have to think about moving with the herds, when the youngest children are 6 months old," Wraen suggested. "They will be strong enough by then to weather longer journeys. Until then there is small game to rely on here and let's hope that it stays so fo the next month or two." The weather was treating them well and she wished that it would never go down to being freezing cold and barren.
"The coast is always an option, if all else fails," she offered. "I have been up there few times and there is stuff to scavenge, when the ocean feels generous." There was the danger of other wolves taking residence in the vicinity, but so far all, who had wished to do so, had never come to tying the metaphorical knot. "There is a forest here - not far from us, which is favoured by grouse as well. Not that they are always willing to become our lunch, but they are a food source not to forget."
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - October 02, 2019
Moving with the herds? Niamh's brow raised in concern. All of Wraen's plans seemed fine- if she didn't have two young children at her side. She realized only now that the majority of Wraen's ease, with regards to stepping up and leading them and proposing ideas, came from a wolf who had no children to take care of. Save for the little one who had been Wraen's charge for some time, as he'd been lost, but otherwise, Wraen had no children of her own to worry about. While Niamh knew she was very invested in the youth of the pack, there was still a difference between caring about someone else's kids, and caring for your own.
Niamh grimaced at the idea of moving with herds. "I hope we don't have to do that. It'd be very hard on the kids." She said. They'd be older by then, of course- but it still didn't make them immune to the perils of travelling in the winter, rather than staying in one, safe territory. Wraen mentioned the coast, and Niamh shrugged. She didn't know much about the coast- but she did know she didn't like the cold whip of the coastal winds. When Wraen mentioned the forest where grouse lived though, she nodded knowingly. "I'm a good bird hunter. I know a few places that grouse like to winter." She said. "I'll get to teaching the kids soon." She said, planning on using her usual methods- catching a bird, injuring it, and letting the kids learn from a creature that could only half-fly.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - October 03, 2019
It was true - Wraen did not have children of her own, but that did not make her less concerned or invested in them. If challenged with this, her reply would be that she possessed a clear sight, where that of dedicated mother's would be clouded and biased. She had grown up, while on the road. It had not always been easy, but it had taught her early on to depend on herself and not wait for miracles. She had experienced hunger for several days at time, she had been exhausted beyond all reason and still been forced to move on, she had lost count of all the dark, bitter cold nights of late autumn and winter, where she had lied awake, unable to get comfortable, unable to keep herself warm. Despite this she had survived. The sole desire to keep on to living had been stronger than anything else.
"I would not inflict on them any hardship that I myself have not endured at their age. They are at a better start point than I ever was," Wraen replied levelly. If they would have to move, they would. "But until the moment we are forced to move we should stick to trapping. It's easier and less dangerous than attacking deer. And you get more than just one chance," she moved to safer waters. "What about mercenary training - do you see any potential in the youths? Bronco seems to be cut for the job and Pox is eager... Not so sure about the girls though."
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - October 23, 2019
Niamh's ear flicked when Wraen mentioned trapping- and she wasn't entirely certain what her leader meant by that term, but she didn't want to seem oblivious either, so she simply nodded. Maybe she meant hunting in a team, rather than trying to trap prey the way one could trap fish in a small holding pool after herding them into that area. She picked up a topic that was much closer to Niamh's heart anyway, and Niamh pursed her lips, considering the kids they had in the pack, and their strengths.
"If I can curb Bronco's stubbornness, he'd make a good...Something," She said, not entirely willing to say he'd make a good guardian. "Kid's got a bit too much of a temper to be a good guardian right now, but he'd make a good warrior...Again, once he learns to control his temper." She said, agonizing over the fact that her son was just like her. "Pox maybe, yeah, and maybe Crow." She added, though with a bit less enthusiasm. "Sugar'll be a medic I'm sure, and Avery-" She said, her tone softening, "Well, she'll probably make a caregiver. As for Eljay's kids," She said, her jaw tightening slightly, she continued, but did her best to sensor her own ire. "Elfie will be best put to work as a mercenary, but kept separate from Bronco. I can't say I'm really sure what Weejay could do," She admitted, owning up to the fact that she was basically closer to Finley's kids. In her defense, Eljay was a helicopter parent, so she hadn't bothered going onto his radar for fear he might disapprove of her parenting methods.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - October 24, 2019
So, Bronco had hit the difficult teenage stage as well. Though Wraen sympathized with Niamh about the troubles her son caused her, she was secretly glad that she did not have to deal with it on daily bases. Elfie was a handful to bear even in moderate dosages, she felt pity to Eljay, who had to endure his tantrums far more often. She - on the other hand - had a choice. If she wished to interact, she could. If she did not, there were ways of telling that there was not time (simply put - bugger off!).
Wraen caught the slight change about the pack's sergeant at arms, when she mentioned Elfie. Perhaps, because she had expected some sort of reaction. Bronco's fall-out with Eljay's son was no secret to her, she did not know, if it was possible to remedy it in any way or that if she should try to attempt it at all. It was her business to make sure that all packmates got along with each other, but she did not feel she should interfere and be an arbiter, where her help was not asked.
"I heard that she is fond of plants," Wraen added - she had noticed the little garden the girl kept for herself. "Perhaps, a botanist or a healer as well, if we find a teacher for her," she offered. "In regards of Elfie - I am planning to speak with Towhee to have him trained as a mercenary at the grove. Change of scenery will do him good," she shared and Niamh could guess the rest of the reasoning behind this.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - November 05, 2019
...If they could find a teacher for her. This note made Niamh sigh gently, and feel a bit more restless. They didn't have many adults in the pack. Unless they shipped Weejay out to another pack, there wouldn't be someone to teach her much about plants, save for what Eljay knew. They would then have both Sugar and Weejay training in a medic-related field, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing- it simply meant that they would have two more wolves like Eljay, who were a bit softer around the edges, and potentially less useful should they need to defend their pack. Presently, she had Bronco to train, and would have to set to work with Pox as well, if he was still interested, but it would be some time before she felt confident that either of them would be much use in a defense-related battle as well. If only they could get more useful, adult members of the pack, or have the kids grow up super quickly. It didn't seem like either was likely to happen- though the advent of winter did often bring in strays looking for a place to live so they could survive with the strength of numbers on their side.
She nodded thoughtfully for a moment when Wraen suggested that Elfie should go and train with Towhee. She should have thought of that- but not for Elfie, for Bronco. Bronco seemed to like his aunt, and he'd probably listen better to her than he did to his Mother. Unfortunately, she was too slow to come up with that plan, and it was just as well anyway. Niamh didn't really want to send her son off- not right now. But the idea of Elfie going to train with Towhee would likely mean that Bronco would get jealous, and resent her for not letting him go instead.
"That's a good idea," She said. After all, she too would be glad to have Elfie gone off to another pack, for the disrespect he had shown Sugar, Bronco, Wildfire and Colt. "He doesn't seem to be too fond of many of his packmates anyway. Alive or dead." She commented somewhat spitefully. "Did I tell you what he did to the flowers Sugar put on the graves?" She asked, having forgotten completely whether she'd actually gotten around to telling either Wraen or Eljay. She'd promised Bronco that she would, but had been so busy with patrolling and hunting that it had possibly slipped her mind. Perhaps the rumour had spread, as well, from Sugar or Bronco. Niamh wasn't sure- but she shook her head. "I can't believe that any kid of Eljay's would do something like that." After all, Eljay was probably the most sentimental, caring and sensitive wolf in the pack. For his son to be the one to show such flagrant disrespect was shocking.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - November 06, 2019
Wraen knew that the incident between Elfie, Sugar Glider and Bronco would not stay secret for long. She had expected for it to come out, she just did not know, who would be the first to throw the dices. Niamh had spoken and it was kind of a relief, because Eljay would naturally blame himself for everything and Wraen would have to spend the rest of the conversation, trying to convince him that this was not true and that he was a great father and everything. On bad days, when her patience ran thin, she played around with that evil idea of having an occasion of telling the man that - yes - all that you believe about yourself is true.
But we all have days like these, when we are less inclined to be nice and understanding to others than usual. Besides Wraen realized that talking with Niamh about this delicate and personal subject, would not be easy either. She was on the other end of the spectrum - people, who believed themselves to be right and subjectively so, despite, what others would have to say in the matter. Elfie had insulted not only Bronco, but Niamh too very soon after Colt's death. There was no tip-toeing around it, morally - it had been cruel. But if all had been right in Eljay's son's life, he would have felt more sympathy and lenience towards others.
"I spoke to him - Elfie, that is," Wraen said, carefully choosing the right words. "I do not support, what he did, and told him to stay away both from the graves and the other two kids," a promise he had kept, though she had not heard about an apology to Bronco. Apparently the moment, when it "felt" like right to do it, had not come until Elfie had left the pack entirely. "Just because he made bad decisions, does not make him an evil person," as she said this, she looked at Niamh. Surely there had been moments in her life, when she had done the most stupid things and wished that she had acted otherwise. Wraen had had plenty of those moments.
"Elfie does not remember Wildfire, because she did not stay long in his life. However, it changed lives of the others around him. Weejay - who he has great affection to - is sad and Eljay has not... been the same either. When you are young, you seek someone to blame it all and he blames the dead. He sincerely believes that dying is a choice and by remembering the dead, we keep - as he put it - the ghosts alive, which does not help us to move on," Wraen told and in part she agreed to the boy. "It does not mean that he can be a jerk to others, but what I see is a young boy's attempt to fix a chaotic world with the means and understanding he has."
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - November 07, 2019
Niamh and Bronco had both not dealt with the situation well at all. It had coloured their views of Elfie in a very unfavourable way. Bronco took after his mother in that he was quick to angry, and held a grudge for much longer than he ought to do so, and Niamh had yet to intervene and correct the boy's behavior. As the incident offended them both, it had been impossible for a wolf as close-minded as Niamh to take the higher ground and try to fathom why Elfie had done such a thing. She was quick to take her son's side, as the matter involved Colt, and though the act had been done by nothing but a moody teenager who hadn't even really known the man well- nor had he known his own mother- Niamh had seen it as somewhat of an indicative sign that the boy harboured bad spirits. Any child who would disrespect the grave of his mother- and then defend their stance- obviously had some issues, and she was absolutely sure that he didn't inherit those traits from either of his parents. She'd come to the conclusion, on her own, that Elfie was simply a 'bad egg' and than she wouldn't have much to do with him. He'd had potential- he'd been a good kid, and had showed promise while hunting- but he'd wrecked his reputation in Niamh's eyes, by tossing the flowers off the graves, and then trying to rationalize why leaving a tribute was stupid. It made Niamh feel irritated to even think about it.
And Niamh was the sort of wolf who was fairly short-sighted, and struggled with putting herself in someone else's feet. She was proud and naive- a terrible combination- so when Wraen agreed that Elfie had been wrong to do what he'd done, she nodded firmly, glad that her leader took her point of view. Niamh often took offense when others disagreed with her- so she huffed lightly at Wraen's next comment, which conflicted with Niamh's decree that Elfie- the son of one of the gentlest and sweetest wolves to ever walk the earth- was simply a bad egg. "We'll see." She mumbled ingraciously, still set in her views that nothing really good could become of Elfie. She caught Wraen's gaze in her peripheral vision, and thought she saw something of a question there. Was she trying to make Niamh think about her own mistakes and blunders? Yes, Niamh had done things she regretted- but the stubborn hen still thought that she'd been right, most of the time, for making those choices. She, of course, wasn't thinking hard enough, to recall the many instances which would put her to shame and force her to agree with Wraen. She didn't want to flaunt her arrogance, so she sighed, and nodded. Best to agree with her leader. Maybe Wraen was right. Niamh didn't think so- but she'd have to give her the benefit of the doubt. Elfie would be out of her hair shortly enough anyway.
And then he'd be Towhee's problem. She did have to admit she felt the slightest bit of optimism creep into her mind, knowing that Towhee wouldn't allow any of his bullshit. Eljay was too soft and gentle to correct the boy's ways. He'd simply let his son run around and run the show, and grow into a menace. But under Towhee's watch, there could be a better outcome for the boy. Regardless, Niamh was glad to have the boy going somewhere where he could go through that change without having to force him into it herself.
She pitied the boy, having grown up without a mother. Maybe that was why he wasn't terribly gentle, she thought, for a moment- but then she remembered exactly how hot-headed and hostile her own son could be, and he had a mother. Not a gentle, sweet one, though. And Bronco was growing up without a Dad, so both boys were definitely experiencing a great deal of trouble as they tried to learn and cope with life as a child being raised by a single parent. Bronco had been trouble even before Colt had died- but a different kind of trouble than he was now. Before Colt had died, Bronco had been childish, tempermental and sassy- but he'd been so little then, too...No one could really blame a child for being childish, could they?
She blinked hard and faltered slightly, turning a concerned gaze to Wraen when she mentioned that Elfie firmly believed that death was a choice. She felt angered and beligerent that the boy would think such a thing. As if Colt had simply decided to die. And surely he couldn't have gotten the notion that Wildfire had simply decided to die, not from anyone in the pack. "Where the hell did the kid get the idea that we choose to die?" She asked coarsely. It didn't sound like something that would come from Eljay. No- she knew that Eljay had wished that Wildfire had been able to fight. Eljay wouldn't have simply let Wildfire choose to die. Heck- he was the medic. He was basically in charge of making sure other wolves could recover from illness and injury so that they didn't die. There was no way any of this made sense to Niamh. There was empathy in Wraen's voice when she mentioned decorating graves, but to Niamh, it made perfect sense to do so. Obviously, Eljay wasn't quite himself- if he hadn't been able to intervene and explain things to his son. He'd probably been avoiding the topic with the kids completely...And to be fair, she hadn't done much better. But her kids had been a bit older when their father had passed away. The two situations could be compared a bit- but they were still very different.
Niamh wasn't completely content with the way that Wraen summarized Elfie up, and in part it was because she was judging him not as a boy, raised by a grieving, single father in a pack- but as she might judge an adult wolf, who had some bad things in their past that they hadn't dealt with. Elfie was at a point in his life where he could turn things around- but Niamh wouldn't be too quick to believe he had, nor would she so quickly forgive him for the ay he'd spoken to Bronco. Niamh was having a hard enough time trying to keep Bronco from busting a fuse without having to worry about Elfie pushing him over the edge. "Well, Towhee'll knock some sense into him. She knows what loss is like; both she and Phox do," She said, softly. "And she'll keep the kid busy..." She said, and sighed, finally allowing some of the pent up tension to slip away. "I think it'll be really good for him to go there." She concurred, finally.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - November 07, 2019
At a certain point in your life, you no longer believe that your truth is the only and the absolute one or that you should attempt to bend and break other people according to your ideas of, what they should be. Wraen had reached the next milestone of maturity - she began to accept people, for who they were, and found great joy in making quiet observations about their personalities. Good and bad traits. Quirks and peculiarities. Get the minute details and over time learn, what makes them tick.
Take Niamh, for example. At a first glance - classical bold and beautiful blonde, cheer-leader type to whom all doors are open in the world. Then you get a chance to watch her from a closer distance and, boy, do you learn, how wrong your first impressions were and how much more hides behind appearances. Wraen sensed that her words about one's own failures in life had not reached their destination. If they had, then her packmate chose not to let them show through and, who could blame her? You did not want to appear as a loser in other people's eyes, least of all the leader, with whom you had business-like relationships.
"Well, maybe there was nobody, who could explain this to him, when it was necessary and the right time to do so," Wraen shrugged, though she doubted that this was the whole case. Sometimes you come to your own conclusions about life without influence from other people. It was just as likely that Elfie would have maintained his belief even, when someone had told him all about life and death the proper way. "Someone else's experience can never be your own," she replied to Niamh's assumption that Towhee and Phox would have better luck at changing Elfie's views about life. "But they will give him other matters to focus on. I think that a lot of his frustration had to do with being cooped up here," she did not mention Eljay's restrictive parenting style to Niamh out of respect to her fellow subordinate.
"And that went against his nature. I think that he takes after Finley's type of Blackthorns more than Eljay does. The world calls out to him," she finished. "He will get along with Towhee famously, though. She is very different from us all and he needs an idol to look up to."
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - November 07, 2019
No one there to explain death to him? Niamh opened her mouth to tell Wraen she was basically accusing Eljay of being a lacklustre father- but then again, they both knew how hard Eljay had taken Wildfire's death. He'd wanted a family his whole life- and he'd found someone he could finally dote on and children of his own he could raise...And in the wake of such a glorious moment, his beloved Wildfire had passed away. Niamh could relate, so she shut her mouth quietly, and felt ashamed more for herself, and how she hadn't done much to help Eljay. Of course, her children had been born within a day of Wildfire's passing, so she had been understandably preoccupied- or so she told herself, so that she did not feel too guilty, but saying that was a somewhat transparent film of reassurance at best.
What else could have been done for the boy, then? Niamh and Colt had just had their first litter, leaving Niamh in charge of nursing the kids and Colt had stepped up to lead the pack. Finley and Elwood had had their own kids not long before Wildfire's passing, and they had to focus on their own children- including Eljay, who had been distraught. That meant caring for the typical Blackthorn litter of four and their eldest, mourning son. They had naturally been the next in line to step in and care for Weejay and Elfie, but that meant dividing their attention between seven of their children, if Eljay was included. The only other wolf left in question was Wraen, then- who certainly didn't seem to be skirting on her responsibilities, either. After all- she seemed to know the most about Elfie out of all of them. But children will listen and associate only with those that they can respect and love- and a truly troubled child could be hard to reach for even the most caring mentor.
She was beginning to notice that Wraen was more sagacious than she had originally noticed. Niamh liked her story-telling...But this was simply because the remnants of baby-brain caused her to forget that it was Maia who'd been the story-teller, not Wraen. Regardless- her false memory worked in Wraen's favour. She wasn't like other wolves that Niamh had met, who would go along with their companion's opinions and stories, and immediately take their side after hearing about a conflict simply to endear themselves more. Wraen didn't seem to need Niamh to agree with her on every point in order to seem more likeable, nor did she rush to sympathize with every one of Niamh's complaints and woes so as to avoid having her own reputation tossed into the dumpster fire as well. She seemed above those kind of childish antics- but not in a proud, arrogant way. Wraen simply seemed to understand things in such a way that Niamh couldn't, and though it did frustrate Niamh a bit, she knew in the end that Wraen was doing the right thing by being able to play the Devil's advocate, and to see both sides of a story. She was jealous that Wraen was able to do such a thing, as neutrality was one of Niamh's most glaring weaknesses, but it didn't make her dislike her leader. She was beginning to see just how much Wraen deserved to lead their pack.
She had to smile faintly when Wraen compared Elfie to Finley, and there was humour in her voice when she spoke. "God help us all," She said with a snort. Niamh admired Finley greatly- she liked her spark. Of course, it had taken her a great deal of time to come to any sort of positive terms with Finley, given the immense strain put on their relationship the day they met, but with time they both seemed to have won each other over. Finley was tough as nails- but she was also an excellent mother. She knew how to balance things out. On the topic of Towhee being an idol, of course, Niamh nodded firmly. She would always vouch for her friend, and the mere thought of Elfie being in her shadow made Niamh believe that there was hope for Elfie. "She's made of one-hundred-percent amazing," Niamh said confidently. "Kinda makes me wish I'd thought of sending Bronco off to her- but...I do want him to stay here." She said. "I need him still," She said. Realizing she'd exposed a bit of her own vulnerability, she turned her attention back to the borders they were patrolling, and began to sniff about, pointedly avoiding eye contact. "H'ain't smelled any coyotes around here." She commented absently, the tone of her voice indicating that this was a good thing. Niamh hated coyotes- just as much as she hated foxes.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - November 08, 2019
Grief is a deeply personal experience and you can help that person only up to a certain extent. You cannot step in their shoes, you will never know, how exactly it feels for them and you cannot speed up their recovery. Every person needs their own time and the only thing others can do is to hang around and find the right moment to be there for them. And this also, if such assistance is asked for.
Wraen's approach to Eljay had been very diplomatic - she did not push him to speak about Wildfire's death, because they weren't such intimate friends. She had no right to do so, unless he wished to talk about it himself. The Sovereign had chosen to keep his focus on other things and that plan had worked only to an extent, because Colt had got gravely injured and died pretty soon after. She wondered, if things could have been different, if she had interfered with Eljay's approach to parenting, but instinctively she knew that this would not have changed much or anything at all.
To sum this all up - people were very complex and there was not one single remedy for them all. "Teenagers can be quite a lot, huh?" Wraen caught the note in Niamh's voice. "There have been moments, when I wished to climb walls, because Elfie was such a pain in the ass," she recalled fondly, laughing. "But it did make me wonder, if I made any of my parents feel similarly, when I was his age. In my memory I think I was the god's given gift to them, but they might have something else to say in the matter," Wraen said.
"Well, the sister pack agreement is still in action. And I see no reason, why Towhee would refuse to train Bronco as well. When the time is right," she offered, not knowing that in few weeks her cousin would be in no shape to train anyone. "I think it's good to show kids that the world does not end at the pack borders and is a wa-a-a-y bigger place."
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - November 13, 2019
The way Wraen spoke, she sounded like she had a good deal of experience dealing with others, in particular with troubled teenagers. Most wolves might have taken her calm assurance as enough proof that she had the experience and knew what she was talking about- after all, she made perfect sense. Teenagers were a handful, everyone knew that- but Wraen was able to see past the trouble to find out perhaps why those troubling behaviors were there, and was also able to bypass cruel judgement and acknowledge that sometimes kids were just tough to get along with because they were going through a tough time, or were simply being beligerent because they hadn't learned otherwise. Regardless, she seemed to have most things pegged right on the mark.
But Niamh had to wonder exactly how much experience Wraen did have- because she was a bit skeptical by nature, and didn't really like it when others knew more than she did. She often saw advise as a means of flaunting knowledge, and was stubborn enough to turn her nose up and do things her own way. So when Wraen- who, to Niamh's knowledge, had no children of her own- spoke to Niamh about teenagers being rowdy to Niamh like they were both on the same sort of plane, Niamh wasn't exactly inclined to lean in, bump shoulders with her leader and agree...Even though technically, she did agree with everything Wraen was saying. She was hesitant to agree simply on the basis that she didn't believe that Wraen could really know what it was like to raise a child when she herself had none. Why try to be a part of the tired Moms club when you weren't even a Mom? She put on a smile, even though it was false, and nodded. This was something she'd rather talk with Finley about- or anyone else that had kids. It just didn't seem as real coming from a wolf who had no kids.
Her eyebrows raised when Wraen spoke about being a handful as a child, so when this was mentioned, Niamh was able to issue a real laugh as she shook her head. "I dunno," She said, "I have a hard time picturing you as a rebel," She said wryly, giving her leader a good look up and down. She certainly didn't seem like the type who would have been disobedient, disrespectful or rebellious in any way. Niamh imagined Wraen as being fairly demure and quiet as a child, the way Nellie had been...And that thought made her smile fade and her heart ache. "Some kids are just...Naturally good." She commented softly as a sidenote, turning her gaze away again. That being said- how good of a kid had Nellie really been to run away on her own like that?
There had been no signs of a struggle when Nellie had disappeared. It was very late at night when Niamh had eventually gone searching for her- as her daughter usually returned to the den to sleep not long after dark. Supposing perhaps that her adolescent was simply out playing a bit later, she'd given the girl more time- but when too much time dragged on, the over-protective mother had gone off searching. She'd asked everyone she saw if they'd seen Nellie that day, and when it was that they'd seen her. The answers were somewhat vague- and not what she had hoped for. She'd wanted one of them to say that Nellie had simply been playing with their kids, or that they'd seen her off doing her own thing. But it seemed that Nellie had spent most of the day on her own, or out of sight- and when Niamh went around the borders to check for any sign that her daughter had left, she'd found a single set of her daughter's tracks leading out of the copse.
She'd followed the trail, but it had begun to fade by the time Niamh started following it. She could only guess, then, that Nellie hadn't stayed in the pack all day that day, then- and that she had wandered off directly toward the borders when she'd left that morning. Niamh was at least 10 hours behind her daughter by that point, and as soon as Nellie's tracks crossed a river, she was unable to find where she'd come out on the opposite bank. Too much time had passed, and the water had cleansed her daughter, making it much more difficult for Niamh to pick up her scent again. She'd roved here and there, calling out for Nellie, hoping that she was within earshot and that she might come home- but from what Niamh could tell, her daughter had set out with the intention of leaving and going out on her own. She was too young yet to make it on her own, and as the days grew colder, so grew Niamh's fear that Nellie would never come back.
For days her mind had been full of questions. Why had Nellie left- didn't she love her mother and her brother? Had there been any signs that Nellie had been unreasonably unhappy, or that she might leave? Had she asked any questions or said anything that might indicate that she wanted to leave? What was the last thing she'd said to her daughter? Had she told her that she loved her that morning? They hadn't argued...They never argued. But had she said something to Bronco in front of Nellie that had made her decide to leave? She wasn't sure she would ever get the answers to those questions, and it made her grow a bit colder, knowing that potentially, there might have been something she could have seen, said, caught or done to make her daughter stay, or to realize that her daughter was planning something. Maybe if she'd been a better mother herself, her daughter would still be there...And maybe had she been able to control Bronco more, she might not have felt the need to take him on a mother-son trip when he'd been young...And if they hadn't gone, maybe Colt wouldn't have gotten in a fight with Kiwi, and then maybe he would still be alive. It occurred to Niamh that there was really no use dwelling on those things- but dwell she did, regardless.
She'd spaced out a bit, losing herself to her grim thoughts for a few moments while Wraen spoke, before she eventually tuned back in- just when Wraen talked about the borders, which they currently patrolled, and about the world beyond the lands they had claimed. Yes, the world was big out there- much bigger than Niamh wanted it to be. If only it was smaller, maybe she would be able to find her daughter. She simply uttered a small grunt and nodded in agreement, still somewhat lost in her reverie.
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - Wraen - November 13, 2019
If Wraen was faced with an argument that her affections towards the children were of any less value, because she was not a mother herself, she would have felt offended and sad. She had learned the hard way that distance and coldness could even come between the kin you were related to by blood and that you could find brothers and sisters in the truest sense of the word among complete strangers. Her love for the young firebirds was pure and unselfish, she loved them, because her heart had much to give. A wise man once said that there isn't a right way to love, it is important to love at all. During the last year she had followed this principle faithfully.
Nellie had disappeared from their midst suddenly, but quietly and without leaving a trace. Even months later it was difficult to accept that she might not be among the living and every now and then Wraen caught herself hoping and waiting for her return. Bad things did not happen to good people, right? Children most of them all. In her heart she knew this not to be true, but for the golden furred girl's sake she wished sincerely that evil had not been behind her disappearance.
After this the conversation did not pick up again. Wraen guessed correctly that the lost daughter was on Niamh's mind and did not wish to push for more conversation, where it was not asked for. In silence she walked side by side with her sergeant at arms, lost in her own thoughts.
I think that you can conclude in your next post. Thank you! It has been a pleasure!
RE: Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger - RIP Niamh - December 08, 2019
Niamh reflected on the disappearance of her young daughter...Too young to be out on her own, or so Niamh thought. Being a single parent in a pack which had too few adults, she couldn't have gone searching as much as she'd wanted to...Nor were there any signs left behind to lead her in any particular direction. Winter would be upon them soon enough, and wherever Nellie was...She could only hope that she was in good company. She was fairly silent for the remainder of their patrol, before they eventually parted ways, with Niamh going off on her own to spend even more time still mulling over her failures.