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+--- Thread: Hoshor Plains Do I make you cringe? (/showthread.php?tid=36995)
Do I make you cringe? - Midar - October 07, 2019
@Alarian had asked him to take some damn plants to the kid again, a task the used to make Midar stew in anger. But now he did it without complaint, a flare of evil joy in his chest as he deliberately went the opposite direction towards the plains. When he arrived, he promptly dug through the snow and dirt and dropped the plants inside once the hole was deep enough. A pleased smile spread across his face. Alarian would never find out. Everytime he had asked him to bring the kid something unsupervised, he had actually taken it somewhere else and trashed it, hoping to stop the burden's progress and discreetly get rid of it without his mate thinking he had anything to do with it. It was the perfect plan, and soon they could get on with their lives.
RE: Do I make you cringe? - Alarian - October 07, 2019
for my own reference: set sometime after this thread
His pace increases as he follows Midar's scent in a slight panic, carrying a few stray bits of herb he'd forgotten to include with the rest. He's so focused, he doesn't notice at first that the trail leads away from where they'd left the @Kid. Until he does. Irritation fills him as he assumes, at first, that Midar is putting off the task. He moves faster, bad leg burning slightly by the time he arrives on the scene —Just in time to watch his husband drop the herbs into a hole in the ground. He blinks, heart dropping into his stomach, and for a few horrible moments his eyes sting with heat, and all he can feel is betrayed. He swallows, hating the feeling with every ounce of his being for the weakness it represents. He finds relief in the fire that follows, the bolt of white-hot fury arcing through him as the realization settles.
What the fuck are you doing?The words fly from him before he can even form the thought, sharp and foreign to his own ears. He's never heard himself speak that way before, and it sends an odd thrill through him to express his ire in such a direct way. It's a freedom he's never known before, though he doesn't dwell on it now. Right now, all he can do is glare at Midar and fight the urge to bite his stupid face.
RE: Do I make you cringe? - Midar - October 08, 2019
His delight was short lived, and he froze at his mate's question, a shit whispered under his breath. He hadn't actually considered how it would feel if Alarian caught him. He knew he would be mad, but he hadn't considered anything beyond that. He should have back tracked, tried to apologize or explain himself (if that was even possible) but he was more volatile than normal lately. It didn't help that Alarian had changed; he openly disagreed with him at every turn, and Midar was beginning to wonder if his husband even still loved him. He certainly didn't see love on his face now, and it stoked the rage inside him. He seemed to care more about that stupid kid than he did about him, and maybe that was the real reason for all of this. Until now, he had been staring at his mate blankly, but anger slowly twisted his expression and flatly, he answered:
Taking care of a problem.
RE: Do I make you cringe? - Alarian - October 08, 2019
Midar's blank expression as he turns to him only fuels the fire spreading rapidly over his skin and filling his hollow chest. His jaw tightens, teeth grinding together painfully as he waits for his husband's response. Yet his efforts to control himself seem ultimately futile. His limbs go stiff as he watches Midar's expression shift into a mirror of his own anger, muscles tightening as adrenaline begins to take over. He thinks of what he'd told Caiaphas; of the misery and helplessness and hopelessness he's endured these last few months; of his husband's callous ways, his selfish stubbornness; of all that he has loved and lost and lost again, and all that he has fought and changed and abandoned to reach this point —
And he snaps.
A problem?He snarls, disbelief in his tone. His voice only gets louder as he continues, biting and relentless.
You think an injured child is a problem? The only problem in this situation is you, Midar! I'm sick of it, I'm so fucking sick of you! You ruined my life, you forced me into this, and I let you because I thought you loved me — but all you ever do is disrespect me and do fucked up shit like this.He pauses only long enough to take a few breaths, ragged and fast, voice rising further with his next words until he's screaming.
You're a heartless asshole, Midar. Fuck you — FUCK YOU!
He takes a step back, numb except a bone-deep chill, heart pounding. His next words are more quiet, but no less adamant:
It's over.He turns, knowing he has nothing else to say, and he does what he was born to do, what he's been doing all his life; he runs.
RE: Do I make you cringe? - Midar - October 08, 2019
His ears flattened as Alarian's words came flying at him, confirming what Midar had feared most lately: the one thing he loved more than anything didn't want him anymore. It wasn't like he had ever hidden his true nature; he had been up front from the beginning, and he thought Alarian accepted him for who he was, but he was apparently wrong. It was like they had been living two different lives. Midar saw things completely differently. What his mate saw as disrespect came from a suffocating need to control every aspect of their lives so that Midar wouldn't lose him. He needed him, even now as he screamed and cursed at him.
It's over. the words stole his breath and made blood rush to his ears and pound through his head. And then he was gone. Midar wanted to run after him. Track him down until his feet bled if that's what it took, and then fix things like he used to. But all he could do was stare blankly at the spot where he disappeared while his heart felt like it would explode from his chest. He sat there for what felt like hours, until numbness creeped through him and drowned out all of the confusion and pain, and then he stood and headed for the mountains. Maybe they would finally crumble to the earth. Maybe they would take him with them.